| Holiday Traditions |
[Dec. 7th, 2010|06:48 am]
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Do not have the regret of "I wish I had ______ed"; instead, have the regret "I wish I had ______ed longer/harder/better/faster"
Give everything the best of your abilities, because then you can be satisfied better with how you handled and achieved the result.
I take the time to say this out of love, because my love and my time are the only things I can devote to you and that are mine to freely give. I devote them to you, because you are worth my time and my love.
And it took a great tragedy, this year, to teach me that this effort is true love. |
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| 1.6 in 12:33 |
[Sep. 29th, 2010|09:27 am]
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Some mornings, I'm like, 'dude, this running biz is hard but it is worth it'.
Peanut gallery goes 'no it aint u r stupid n foolin urslf, have fun at wm u loozer'
I remind myself that I don't have to get high to get horny or eat to orgasm.
And when my Prince Charming comes, holy hell, he'll HAVE to be ready for me.
Because I'm gonna rock his world with a body Venus de Milo could only wish to have had.
that's all Moonchild!Gackt has to say about that
►Jasmine is back at work. Time to support Simarria by being epic, slap-your-grandma/mother/neighbor/local deity/spouse-gorgeous, single, and UNBAGGAGED BY CHILDREN AND ISSUES together.
►Running time goal is to get it under 12, 11:30... by the time I leave. Whenever that is, IDK a specific date. I have yet to stoop longer than 5 minutes under 170, and I need to hit 165. Raaawrgh. *hulksrips off clothes*
►52 sit-ups on the exercise ball, 42 on the futon with the bar holding my feet down, in 2 minutes. (Goal—65, AFReq.—50)
►I've only barely tried push-ups. That's gonna SUCK.
( mumtiemawecellentCollapse ) |
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| Epic time is epic PART 3 |
[Sep. 27th, 2010|08:14 am]
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| [ | Tags | | | air force, attention, blessing, epic win, fangirl, god, michael c. diesel, nerd, picspam, profanity, schedule | ] |
Here's the final part in my 3-part series of my epic weekend well worth the callouts in order to fully enjoy.
A week prior, I had promised Nanny (92) that the following Monday, I would dedicate completely to her and whatever her and Mum would like to do. I've neglected them for weeks and felt it was high-time I spend the time with them they both wanted and deserved, however short.
But she was too antsy and wanted to start her shopping early, on Sunday (before the Belk sale would end). So that meant just a girl's afternoon, her and I.
( It was awkward, but awesome, to say the least. ALSO PICSPAM IS SPAMMY. ALSO, another way for me to praise the Clearance-rack gods for smiling upon me lately.Collapse )
Now that I can wear clothes in readily-available sizes... I am now a clothes horse. YAAAAY. But it only seems that way. Right now, I only have the following clothes that fit:
( listylistlistCollapse )
LONG POST IS LONG. EPIC DAYS WERE EPIC.
And also, another shopping day today.
Earned $10 in Kohl's cash for buying that coat and hairclips, soooo... Gonna find something today. Gotta buy some black for Thursday morning, RIP David's grandpa. :( |
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| quickie |
[Sep. 22nd, 2010|10:16 am]
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Still can't comprehend my recent run-in with grumblefuckery, and also, the epic post part 2 is taking a little long to write (I'll do it tomorrow on my running off day {lots of pics to post with it}), but I wanted to come by and say 3 things:
►The other morning, the scale, for the first time in EVER, read 169.9. \o/! Then I ate and put on clothes and it went back to 171.6 lol.
►Speaking of running, I've altered my course. I've made it so now I do laps. I feel mentally confident that I won't give up on the 2nd or 3rd lap and not complete all 4. Also, 400x LESS car fumes = awesome. The path itself is as flat as it can get around here to compare it to Lackland/San Antonio and is also a little longer, at 1.6mi. And guess what? I completed it today in 12:28 :DDDDDDDb
►I've been forgetting the pics! *boohiss*
( Read more...Collapse ) |
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| Quick Toss |
[Sep. 10th, 2010|09:52 am]
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| [ | Tags | | | acquaintance, air force, attention, blessing, epic win, fml, god, love, nerd, picspam, stress | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ingrid Michaelson - Incredible Love | ] |
►I am angry at Christians and the idea of them right now.
►I am frustrated with people shitting all over "holy matrimony" and then daring to say that gay people can't have an equal opportunity to lose their shit in divorce just like other good, straight, tax-paying Americans.
►I am surprised at how long it takes for the sun to rise lately. Seasons changing again...
►I am further challenged to get into the 11 minute range by the end of the month... And maintaining it.
►I am thankful for what friends I have that have stuck around.
►I am blessed I have not been set on fire yet.
►I am not-good amused at what God thinks is funny.
►I am disappointed I am unable to help my friends lift their emotional burdens.
►I am pissed because there are those who neglect the ones they say they love most and call it love, then turn around and blame THEM for their pain.
►I am neglectful of my time.
►I am seeking out the most beautiful me within myself and finding some traces of her existence.
►I am chastized by people for feeling too much.
►I am y♥urs because I give that to you.
►I am proud to say that I was never promised anything I couldn't have.
►I am NOT ready to do sit-ups... Last time I did, I only got a layer of muscle hidden underneath my layer of fat that made the fat stick out further. I kinda like how soft and flat and smooth and squishy my tummy feels, in fact. DO NOT WANT but the Air Force does, so I gotta. =\
►I am good-bitey and I miss being so.
...
►I am in love with incredible love.
( Mum and Daddy enjoying baseballCollapse )
►I am ready for tea and a little CraigyFerg, but, first, SIT UPS HOLLY DO THEM NAO D: |
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| heavenly shades of night are falling, it's tweetytime |
[Sep. 8th, 2010|07:52 am]
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Had a super busy weekend and most of my free time was spent talking to/spending time with the following people:  crobat_lover, jeannabee, dmode101, underthepiano and I think her LJ name is edit wait it's not domino43 so go blame them for this being such a short lame post :}
Some notes, though
►13:29 yesterday. My hair got caught in my headphone clip in the back of my neck, so I'll attribute the slowdown to that.
►I bought several matching bra/panty sets from Hot Topic on their double-mark down secret sale that started yesterday. Actually, I bought a ton of everything awesome and am really excited to type more about it (when I'm not-busy). Now, to think of creative ways to show these off (because I love how damn cheap/cute they were)... Inclusion of other plushies, perhaps?
►Never underestimate the power of a sex drive's insistance despite the "never gonna happen" and "not bloody likely"s of the world.
►I consumed three varieties of "fried sweet thing covered in cinnamon sugar" in one day. Hello, diabetes. No, I do not need to keep my legs after all.
►I AM NOW THE PROUD OWNER OF THE SEXIEST BAND T-SHIRT KNOWN TO MAN AND THERE WILL BE PICS OF THIS HAWTNESS WHEN I AM FEELING LESS MINNESOTA caps warranted AND WANNA LOOK MORE CALIFORNIA
►OMFG THE MISFITS FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE D:
►I don't want to start doing sit-ups because I like how soft and smooth and flat my tummy feels laying down. But I'mma have to. Have to be able to do 50 (I think) in under 2 minutes for the Air Force, so even though I like my tummy soft, it'll have to get lumpy with muscles underneath. :P ... :{ Yes. Without a naked Johnny Depp Conan O'Brien beckoning me.
►I should have yelled PARKOUR today when I scaled that fence like a monkey, jeannabee, forlz. Atleast I didn't kerplunk INTO an empty box a la Andy Bernard firthgal needs to bust up into this entry with that gif, btw
►I need to start posting my shoe porn a la uranus_sama in addition to my underwear porn.
►"I get that way far too often when talking to people who don't understand the concept of writing for pleasure. 'Why would you write?' [My reply is] 'Why would you breathe?'"
"Why do you make me question the judgement of man to breed?"
"YESSSS."
/genius
►I was asked about my "It's Complicated". A-han~ Well, atleast I had warning I was gonna get it. And I'm glad I decided I had the choice whether or not to answer. ♥
►I still don't know why people on Facebook end their comments/updates with the "\nINSERTNAMEHERE" What is this \n shite? *grumbles* ... is it wrestling-related? ¬_¬
Les lent me The Hurt Locker and I'mma crawl into bed to watch it. From what I interpret, it's very cathartic. How we always save remnants/memories or small pieces of things in order to quantify all that we have survived or endured. Upon this realization we build a foundation, a purpose, to continue breathing. Yeah, we're knocked to the mat, spitting blood and teeth and tears, slapping the canvas to tap out, but it's not gonna stop that boxer from hitting us again as we're down. While we personally may want to die, our body still wants to live despite us. And we still take another shuddering breath, filling our lungs with hope-filled oxygen.
Let's get in another punch until the knock-out. We can't let the Universe be a bitch and take us down without a fight. Yes, Craig Ferguson, the Universe is very, very big, and will have Its way, but It also tends to double-back and correct Its egregious mistakes against us.
Start apologizing, motherfucker. *shakyfist at Universe*
( and pic of the day not of meCollapse ) |
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| Twitta-tweetweetweet *clapclapclap* |
[Sep. 5th, 2010|09:25 am]
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►13:20 holy cow.
►I asked a guy at work tonight "When someone breaks up with you, how long does it take you to get over it?"
"As long as it takes me to get through a bottle of Jim Beam."
That wasn't helpful.
►I'm getting paid DOUBLE TIME tomorrow (tonight, really) for working into Labor Day (FUCK YEAH FOR MONEY) and I just got off shift with the $1.00 additional an hour premium for working what-is-technically-Sundays. This makes up for calling in last week.
►One of my back molars broke. On ice cream (I abstained for a week and a half). FML there goes that bonus...
►I was zoning with James, an older man (50's) who reminds me of Andy Griffith with his simple and kind way about him. When it's just us zoning and chatting in an area, he says the funniest double entendres. The last time he was talking dirty, and this morning a customer tried a slip-and-fall and I remarked how they wouldn't get much out of this store.
"Yeah, I hope they enjoy their bruised ego and 20% discount or whatever."
"Wow, we're such mean-spirited people about the customers here..."
"You make me wicked."
LOL WTFERY INDEED.
"I don't make you anything you aren't already, sir."
*giggles* yes the man giggled "You're right."
":O"
►A friend told me tonight that I'm going to know TEN more heartbreaks like this one by the time I'm 40. What? WHAT?! I've only known 1 heaping double-punch of heartache and dribbles of a first in a 7 year span. I'd say I'm far behind on that estimate thank God because I feel too hard.
►OMFG ERIC I COULD KISS/HUG YOU. You do NOT know how oddly helpful you were tonight. It's kinda funny, the information you tell me when I'm not even asking for it. Maybe I'll just firmly shake your hand at some point, lol...
( and more pwnage from EricCollapse )
►Nicole reminds me so much of me even more, when I first started. She said something about Maintenance and asked "Where's Thomas?" and the dingbat newb who was hired with her didn't even know who Joe was, he said, until last night. She could have sworn she'd met Thomas at some point... She looked at everyone (me, James, William) wondering if she was crazy. "Wasn't there another Thomas?" I just looked at her, for once, and nodded.
"I thought there was... Where is he?"
I wasn't in a place I could answer, so I said nothing. James said nothing. William just shrugged his shoulders and went "There was another Thomas?" ...This, coming from the same guy who fixes heartbreak with a bottle of Jim Beam classy.
( Today's pic is actually related to content in this entryCollapse ) |
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| Twitteryness + small story |
[Sep. 3rd, 2010|10:07 am]
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I've missed you, bbs. Nothing is wrong apart from the usual and getting really, really inconvenient daydreams around Mum >_< forlz.
►I'm sorry Keyana, Trey, little gay man unloader (Charlie!), and new Mgmt assistant dude who won't stop talking to me damn he's creepy, is my "leave me alone" vibe not strong enough?. If I hadn't precipitated a matter, you guys wouldn't have had to empty the trash, buff, and clean bathrooms tonight. When I apologized to Keyana, she said, "Don't worry about it, gurl. People have to make their own decisions." and... She was right. I didn't need to apologize decisions someone else made. Doesn't mean they don't hurt, but it makes the whole thing a bit more bearable.
►These sliced apples from Chile are SO FLIPPIN GOOD YUMF. ♥ They're expensive but so lowcal and delicious.
►Spunky (our little grey urchin of a cat) is standing in front of the trash can on her hind legs. Not sitting back on her hind legs. Standing. ...wtf.
►13:48 today, bitches!
"Look at that~"
I'm under 14 minutes already! New goal—in the 12 minute zone by September 17th (Dethro Tull show)
( Also, little story about Charlie cheering me up tonight and pic-of-the-day x 2Collapse )
Charlie will never know how much it helped my night improve just by him talking about Thomas. Michael always used to do that, talk about Thomas to me, even though he never knew about what went on between us. And that always made me happy. I like hearing that stuff.
The Lord giveth Charlie for a moment when He taketh away Michael.
( and a little secretCollapse ) |
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| "Remind Yourself You're Gorgeous" (Especially When No One Can Tell) |
[Aug. 27th, 2010|11:08 am]
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This post should get belledewinter's interest and I should post something else before I go batshit wacko.
The other morning, I tweeted how my friend Simarria ran into her friendguy Aaron (which I am so very happy for them; now that Jasmine is gone, they can have a better drama-free-zone ending) with a bra/panty set literally. Being 3rd shift stockers, basically, we all get first dibs on new clothes that come in, and as Wal-Mart becomes more and more "with-it", their clothes are getting sexier and better.
And under the cut, I splurged this morning and bought my own bra/panty set, too. Simarria bought the black/red Minnie Mouse set. I liked Snow White's coloring a lot better (and how appropriate) ( Because I've got as much melanin in my skin as a mirrorCollapse ) |
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| Procrastinatory |
[Aug. 26th, 2010|11:32 am]
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I actually procrastinated half of my errands to do yesterday morning for after work today and the other half has been delegated to tomorrow morning. Go me.
In other news, I was in a very crummy mood since I got up yesterday and stayed bluesy all night. It didn't help that a coworker posted this song on his Facebook that ripped my heart out, but it didn't exacerbate or incur my melancholy. If anything, it tried to give it a hug. Hrm.
Last night just felt a little lonelier than most nights do.
Maybe it was because I was already melancholy when I went in and when I parked there was some dude in a truck across the parking lane chilling in the cab.
Maybe it was because Les was off.
Maybe it was because it WASN'T raining/threatening rain FOR ONCE and I love it when it is/might be.
Maybe it was because Thomas called in and Trey remarked snidely about it to Average Guy who was all "where's Thomas where's Thomas where's Thomas omfg embarassing mancrush" before the meeting.
Maybe it was because Trey actually LISTENED to my schedule request and granted it for all of September that is, after I put in for it officially through the system.
Maybe it was because I'm still not used to Michael and Steve and wtf EVERYONE AND THEIR MOMS being gone.
Maybe it was because my skin has gone batshit loonytoon and I've got these awful splotches on my face/scalp.
Maybe it was because I put on less mascara but my top and bottom eyelashes at the corners of my eyes kept notching together and rubbing I swear, maybe it made grasshopper noises in a high pitch and I didn't have any more mascara on hand to try gluing them to themselves once I realized it at work.
Whatever it was, it sucked.
Also, beautifiers wrote something the other day and I wanted to repost it.
They played THE FINAL and though I know a lot of people are sick of that song, you can just pick one of my bruised tits to suck. I love that song. I will always love that song. I will always love hearing it live because to me it completely embodies what the band means to me, what their songs have done to me. It's a song that doesn't even try to find the meaning of life, a proof or beauty in living. It's a song that, to me, means you can't live through someone else's words, you can't expect someone else to have the magical phrase that will save you, heal you, lead you to peace of mind and a life without regret. You have to make those words on your own, for your own self.
Is it hypocritical or misguided of me to acknowledge this, to strive to do this in my own life, and yet want so badly to find the right words and phrases to help and heal the people I love? I want to find the perfect words to keep all of you safe and happy. I want you all to be loved and protected from the world and its ails, and I want to do the best I can to make the words you need into a shield and sword.
That's what THE FINAL means for me, it means finding your own reason to live. Thanks to this band, I think I'm starting to realize mine.
My desire, for what stupidity and misguided musings I post or, kindly, retract unless it embarasses me to myself more than embarassing others, is that the overarching effect encourages others to do better than my mistakes and successes. I want those who come to read this text with pure and kind intentions to, in the least, be entertained by my retelling of mundane experiences, if not more inclined to introspect. Introspection can be a scary thing because what you find can't lie to you. Sure, one can delude themselves into thinking it's "not a bad thing" what they find in there, but... Maybe something needs to be done about that skeleton dangling about by a noose in your heart's closet. And maybe you can prevent a hurt or an ail before it happens. Maybe I can be a testament to avoid folly.
Maybe, with my text, I can show you that I love you, that I want to protect you by showing you my own scars, and that you too can turn self-constructive words into a shield and sword.
Every day, I try to write something because my pen/text is my sword. I have fallen on it countless times; I have felled others with it; I have lived and died by this sword (yes, I stiiiiiiill love this Andrew Stockdale/Slash song with all my ♥) and I intend to do so until I forget how to communicate. I've shaped this sword for 25 years. It's all that has been mine from the start. Lots and lots of good and some bad have come from how sharp, how sure, I swing this blade.
And as I tweeted last night, "Here I am, your ronin. After the credits roll down my adversary's eyelids, my knees will find dirt as honor runs down my cheeks."
I'll leave the interpretation of what honor represents up to you, what the credits are, who the adversary is, and whose ronin I am.
Maybe we are all our own master of whom we have lost favor.
And those who read without pure and kind intentions...
You get what you intend to get from my writing before you even read it.
"Ya bastards"
( We need my brothers and their bff in on thisCollapse ) |
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