| Bright Red Wine |
[Jan. 24th, 2011|01:11 pm]
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Something's happening and I'm scared. Scared because I'm scared of everything, at least once. I haven't read my FList in a few weeks and I'm afraid to try catching up now while I'm on vacation in Hawaii. My life has been too weird to recount, but ...
Hey, just post here specific posts I need to see so I know how you're doing, how to love you, how to catch up on your lives. Because I love you, even though I am neglectful... Or really... I've never had things apart from the internet to interest me and take my time, and now it seems as if I do? I just don't know how to cope that way, either...
I'm scared to say from whence this song came. Scared because it's not from Thomas.
( lyricsCollapse )
And... That's becoming easier and easier to accept.
It's something... I won't have to hide, and that's the scariest thing of all. |
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| Holiday Traditions |
[Dec. 7th, 2010|06:48 am]
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( Read more...Collapse )
Do not have the regret of "I wish I had ______ed"; instead, have the regret "I wish I had ______ed longer/harder/better/faster"
Give everything the best of your abilities, because then you can be satisfied better with how you handled and achieved the result.
I take the time to say this out of love, because my love and my time are the only things I can devote to you and that are mine to freely give. I devote them to you, because you are worth my time and my love.
And it took a great tragedy, this year, to teach me that this effort is true love. |
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| Lost Time |
[Oct. 5th, 2010|07:05 am]
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For those you just tuning in, or even for long-time readers/familiars with me and journaling from years and years ago, I've felt the need to address something rather important.
I need to address the impetus of my conceit. My narcissism...
( Read more...Collapse )
"I don't know who I am anymore, David. I'm not this fat chick 片想い anymore. I don't hate myself like she did. I can do things she couldn't. I feel things she would have never imagined. That me is dead now, David. Who is this before you?"
"Maybe now you're Holly. You've always had the personality, but now the body is matching up with it."
And that's what counts, overall. How I see me, because how I see me affects how I have you see me. I can't control what good or bad you think, but... I just know it's hard for me to deal with the mismatch, and I apologize, in advance, for any difficulty you have reconciling what you knew with what you now know. |
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| Epic time is epic PART 3 |
[Sep. 27th, 2010|08:14 am]
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| [ | Tags | | | air force, attention, blessing, epic win, fangirl, god, michael c. diesel, nerd, picspam, profanity, schedule | ] |
Here's the final part in my 3-part series of my epic weekend well worth the callouts in order to fully enjoy.
A week prior, I had promised Nanny (92) that the following Monday, I would dedicate completely to her and whatever her and Mum would like to do. I've neglected them for weeks and felt it was high-time I spend the time with them they both wanted and deserved, however short.
But she was too antsy and wanted to start her shopping early, on Sunday (before the Belk sale would end). So that meant just a girl's afternoon, her and I.
( It was awkward, but awesome, to say the least. ALSO PICSPAM IS SPAMMY. ALSO, another way for me to praise the Clearance-rack gods for smiling upon me lately.Collapse )
Now that I can wear clothes in readily-available sizes... I am now a clothes horse. YAAAAY. But it only seems that way. Right now, I only have the following clothes that fit:
( listylistlistCollapse )
LONG POST IS LONG. EPIC DAYS WERE EPIC.
And also, another shopping day today.
Earned $10 in Kohl's cash for buying that coat and hairclips, soooo... Gonna find something today. Gotta buy some black for Thursday morning, RIP David's grandpa. :( |
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| Epic time is epic PART 1 |
[Sep. 21st, 2010|09:56 am]
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| [ | Tags | | | acquaintance, attention, comedians, epic win, fml, god, ignored, michael c. diesel, profanity, rant, single, wtfyall | ] |
I've experienced more fail lately than I'd like to realize (as in, the past two days have been full of fail) so I'll just rewind and tell you about my weekish away from you lovelies because I don't want to forget this up-growing I'm doing.
( Read more...Collapse )And that concludes day one of 3 days of epic awesome. Tune in later (as in, be on my F-List) for more (and there will be a few pics of my new fashion acquisitions because sometimes clothes are awesome not just because they keep you warm :D. I promise to be less bitchy about the next recapped days. |
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| ugh |
[Sep. 11th, 2010|08:06 am]
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I have a headcold that's trying to lead to strep throat. I am dying, but still going to work. Can't afford not to right now mainly because I plan on calling out after the double concert weekend next week because like HELL I am working another 8-day week ever. FUCK THIS NOISE...
But anyway, I still double-take now and then but Brandon doesn't bother me anymore. I asked him what his favorite 3 artists or bands were and he stuttered and forgot the name and then thought I meant drawing artists I wouldn't have added "band" in there if I did and he finally spits out Bullet for My Valentine after the generic "well I like everything like rock and rap and country !!!! DX" in the most grating redneck accent. I hadn't noticed how bad it or his teeth were and I was just like
Thank you, God.
I can handle this easier. ♥
 perfect_gold, thanks for the shove to atleast say something to the doof. It worked better than I hoped by backfiring. Hallelujah!
( piccypicpicCollapse ) |
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| Quick Toss |
[Sep. 10th, 2010|09:52 am]
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| [ | Tags | | | acquaintance, air force, attention, blessing, epic win, fml, god, love, nerd, picspam, stress | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ingrid Michaelson - Incredible Love | ] |
►I am angry at Christians and the idea of them right now.
►I am frustrated with people shitting all over "holy matrimony" and then daring to say that gay people can't have an equal opportunity to lose their shit in divorce just like other good, straight, tax-paying Americans.
►I am surprised at how long it takes for the sun to rise lately. Seasons changing again...
►I am further challenged to get into the 11 minute range by the end of the month... And maintaining it.
►I am thankful for what friends I have that have stuck around.
►I am blessed I have not been set on fire yet.
►I am not-good amused at what God thinks is funny.
►I am disappointed I am unable to help my friends lift their emotional burdens.
►I am pissed because there are those who neglect the ones they say they love most and call it love, then turn around and blame THEM for their pain.
►I am neglectful of my time.
►I am seeking out the most beautiful me within myself and finding some traces of her existence.
►I am chastized by people for feeling too much.
►I am y♥urs because I give that to you.
►I am proud to say that I was never promised anything I couldn't have.
►I am NOT ready to do sit-ups... Last time I did, I only got a layer of muscle hidden underneath my layer of fat that made the fat stick out further. I kinda like how soft and flat and smooth and squishy my tummy feels, in fact. DO NOT WANT but the Air Force does, so I gotta. =\
►I am good-bitey and I miss being so.
...
►I am in love with incredible love.
( Mum and Daddy enjoying baseballCollapse )
►I am ready for tea and a little CraigyFerg, but, first, SIT UPS HOLLY DO THEM NAO D: |
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| how to handle a rope {tie it around your neck} |
[Sep. 9th, 2010|09:49 am]
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| [ | Tags | | | acquaintance, air force, attention, fml, god, love, michael c. diesel, profanity, rant, single, stress, surprise, wtfyall | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Queens of the Stone Age - How to Handle a Rope | ] |
I have some kool news and some WTFISTHISSHITICANTEVEN news.
( kool newsCollapse )
( WTFISTHISSHITICANTEVENCollapse ) |
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| Twitta-tweetweetweet *clapclapclap* |
[Sep. 5th, 2010|09:25 am]
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►13:20 holy cow.
►I asked a guy at work tonight "When someone breaks up with you, how long does it take you to get over it?"
"As long as it takes me to get through a bottle of Jim Beam."
That wasn't helpful.
►I'm getting paid DOUBLE TIME tomorrow (tonight, really) for working into Labor Day (FUCK YEAH FOR MONEY) and I just got off shift with the $1.00 additional an hour premium for working what-is-technically-Sundays. This makes up for calling in last week.
►One of my back molars broke. On ice cream (I abstained for a week and a half). FML there goes that bonus...
►I was zoning with James, an older man (50's) who reminds me of Andy Griffith with his simple and kind way about him. When it's just us zoning and chatting in an area, he says the funniest double entendres. The last time he was talking dirty, and this morning a customer tried a slip-and-fall and I remarked how they wouldn't get much out of this store.
"Yeah, I hope they enjoy their bruised ego and 20% discount or whatever."
"Wow, we're such mean-spirited people about the customers here..."
"You make me wicked."
LOL WTFERY INDEED.
"I don't make you anything you aren't already, sir."
*giggles* yes the man giggled "You're right."
":O"
►A friend told me tonight that I'm going to know TEN more heartbreaks like this one by the time I'm 40. What? WHAT?! I've only known 1 heaping double-punch of heartache and dribbles of a first in a 7 year span. I'd say I'm far behind on that estimate thank God because I feel too hard.
►OMFG ERIC I COULD KISS/HUG YOU. You do NOT know how oddly helpful you were tonight. It's kinda funny, the information you tell me when I'm not even asking for it. Maybe I'll just firmly shake your hand at some point, lol...
( and more pwnage from EricCollapse )
►Nicole reminds me so much of me even more, when I first started. She said something about Maintenance and asked "Where's Thomas?" and the dingbat newb who was hired with her didn't even know who Joe was, he said, until last night. She could have sworn she'd met Thomas at some point... She looked at everyone (me, James, William) wondering if she was crazy. "Wasn't there another Thomas?" I just looked at her, for once, and nodded.
"I thought there was... Where is he?"
I wasn't in a place I could answer, so I said nothing. James said nothing. William just shrugged his shoulders and went "There was another Thomas?" ...This, coming from the same guy who fixes heartbreak with a bottle of Jim Beam classy.
( Today's pic is actually related to content in this entryCollapse ) |
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| Bucket List Addition |
[Sep. 1st, 2010|09:35 am]
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I've made it apparent how much guitar!porn is one of the ultimate hunks of kryptonite one can use to make me swoon. And I've mentioned how, basically, I plan to return the favor and sweep a man off his feet who can play and serenade me like no other.
I saw this pic which is NSFW (no nude, but, NSFW) and I have totally decided I want to do a super-hot photoshoot much the same for my man with his guitars.
Also, I'm not even gonna lie, I had a photoshoot like this in mind for months now. But not with my Guitar Hero controllers. But then I was looking at "hot guitar pics" today and Google image search was like *angels singing*
Just sayin'. |
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