_jazz_

Oh great.
Now they're posting 'cat macros' of me.
http://community.livejournal.com/cat_macros/2060209.html

And it just HAD to be that stupid picture.



Although at least I can say I'm famous on the internet now.


Still.
I sense a hairball coming.

I can't believe I missed the whole thing.  valerian and mbarrick had the incredible littlemissrisk over yesterday for a photo shoot and I missed it ALL.

Why didn't they wake me?  I wouldn't have cramped her style.  I'm small, I'm fluffy, I'm grey.  What's not to like?  I mean, what hot babe wouldn't look hotter with me in the picture?  Hmph.

Mind you I did have another moth dream.  It would have really blown of they had woke me up and interrupted that.  We don't get many moths here anymore.  I think word must have got out in Bug World that I'm too ruthless a hunter or something.  Ha.

Check it out, I have a MySpace profile. I just wanted to mention this before tharsis goes and gets one and claims he thought of it first. I also would like to add that I designed my layout myself. Pretty slick, huh?

Hey Tharsis, do you have a bigger picture of the icon you made of me in the top hat?

Don't I look spiffy? Big City Puss, that's me.

Thanks for the new icons, tharsis. You rawk!

Happy birthday, tharsis! I may as well say it now because you're going to be gloating about it all day anyway. But in truth, you're a pretty good bud. And I'm not just saying that because the humans will be giving us some of the chicken they will be having for dinner in tonight in your honour, either. Although that does rock.

Tell you what. As my present to you, I'll let you sleep in the sunbeam on the living room rug, and I'll sit in the Lap Lady's lap.

I'm pooped.
I took 4 naps, two snoozes, and managed to squeeze one good slumber in before it got dark. I say two snoozes because it was really only one, interrupted by being dragged across the big black thing the Humans sleep on while She Who Makes The Lap smoothed out the top part. It was neat! It was like, I was moving, but I wasn't moving.

It totally wore me out though, trying to find a new lumpy spot after that. So that's why I'm counting it as two.

Ground Rules: The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits/facts about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their 5 weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.


I hate these kinds of things, but here goes:

1.) I have a cardboard box fetish.

2.) I am addicted to dairy products. ALL dairy products.

3.) I have very sensitive feet. I hate it when people touch my feet. A lot.

4.) Every night before bed, I have to sit on His leg for 5 minutes. Then when She comes to bed, I have to sit on Her abdomen for 10 minutes. I cannot do this without having my ass pointing towards their faces. It's just something I have to do.

5.) The only soft food I ever get is what Tharsis can't keep down.


Tagged:
drunkpunk
bitogoth
_darkpixie_
romeo_kittie
heevoling

Sorry if you've been tagged before. I don't get to go to Outside anymore so I don't know many Humans.

O...M...G...

After a full day of recuperation, I am now capable of relaying the sheer NIGHTMARE that was my Sunday. All I can say is, bloody Humans, they overract to *everything*.

Now, it might have been the bug I caught, or maybe the leaf I chewed, but something during the night gave me rotgut something awful. Let's just say I was having some touble at the "back end". *ahem* It wouldn't have been so bad if tharsis wasn't always hogging the poop-sand box, I might have made it in time. But no, unfortunately I had a bit of an accident which was, to say the least, highly undignified, but hardly my fault. Bad enough I had been sick a few times, but I figured no one would notice because Tharsis pukes all over the place anyway. Heh, I was pretty sure I wouldn't get blamed for *that*, ha ha! And normally, a little accident now and again is not a problem, but because of whatever it was that turned my stomach upside down, it was a little bit um, unpleasant. But, no worries, all would be well in a couple of hours and I could take care of it.

Except I didn't get the chance. Just after my accident, THEY got out of bed.

Busted.

So there I was, just minding my own business and waiting for things to um, dry up, and He Who Wuzzles and She Who Makes The Lap see me and immediately freak out. They start following me everwhere, looking at my butt (which being a bit of a mess was bad enough, but with everyone LOOKING at it? Come on!!!), squeezing me, following me around with a towel and making a big fuss. One thing I was a bit thankful for was that they even tried wiping my poor messed up butt for me, but jeez, right in front of Tharsis!! I could have died. Um, a little privacy maybe??? Ugh, Humans. I knew they were upset because I was a mess, well DUH, so was I!! Boy was I relieved when they put me in the green cage-box - gave me a chance to get out of the spotlight at least.

But instead of putting me in the green cage-box and waiting outside on the street for the flashing lights and the men in yellow coats and hats to come, we got into this big loud moving thing. It was kind of cool, actually. We moved really fast, there were LOTS of things to sniff, and They both seemed a lot calmer. We zoomed on for a while and eventually we went to a place that smelled like lots of other cats (and some stupid dogs, but I won't go there because this story is going to be long enough). I thought to myself "at LAST!!! Some professional help. Finally someone who knows what they are doing will clean me up." Only that's NOT what happened! They put me up on a table and this strange lady Human rubbed this godawful goo on my paw, and wrapped this inflatable thing around my leg. GRRR!! I *HATE* it when They touch my feet. Wanna piss me off? Touch my feet. And prepare to die. That was totally the wrong way to get things started, let me tell you. Then, adding insult to injury, the Lady stuck this freezing cold thing in my ass. Now, I ask you: when was the last time you were feeling a bit under the weather? Did you think to yourself "hey, I know, I'll stick this freezing cold thing up my ass!!" Um, no. That's not a recipe for wellness, trust me. Then they poked and prodded and shot some wet gooey crap under the skin at the back of my neck, which felt a bit gross at first, but it actually helped my thirsty feeling go away. So I guess that was OK. Then They took me home. But not during this whole time did They clean me up. I mean, how LAME is that? Didn't they notice that I needed HELP??

Anyway, after starving to death for a few hours, they finally gave me something to eat (which at first consisted of a tiny piece of chalky stuff crammed down my throat). And it was pretty good actually, this nice mild chicken liver paté (just for ME!) that the strange Human lady had given them. Of course, Tharsis bitched and moaned because it was for me and not him, so then they gave him some. But as usual Mr. Weak Guts couldn't keep it down. *sigh* What a waste.

So, I'm feeling much better now, thank you. The one good thing about it was all the cuddles and wuzzles and loves I got when We got back home. But seriously, my advice to you cats is, if you ever feel sick, for whatever reason, no matter how minor - DON'T let the Humans catch you. The whole thing will turn into a total fiasco.

Mrrph.

All I gotta say is... like.... whoa.




Lots of little.... green sprinkles... on the rug...


...which feels really ... good... on my feet right now.





Really kinda...



...fuzzy.


Soft.







I think I will take a little.... nap.

She was rummaging around in the room with all the junk in it and pulled out lots of cardboard boxes. She had them scattered all over the floor and was putting different things in them, I think to see what would fit. I tried to get into one but She stopped me and scooted me out of the room. But I snuck back in. She decided on a box, put the rest away and turned off the light. Then She took the box and went Outside. Except She missed putting away one box! There I was, standing in the dark, just me and the empty box. It didn't have a lid so it was easy to get into. Mind you it was a bit small so I could *just* fit into it all curled up. I decided to take a nap in it.

The next thing I knew, I was being picked up, box and all, and being carried into the room where She makes all those shiny things. She just put me down beside her so I could watch, yet still lounge in my box. That was a very cool thing to do. Very cool.

She just left to go stand in the big white thing that makes it rain, so I'm making this entry. Now that I'm done, I'm going back for another nap. Life is good.

You know what time of year it is...

...that's right...


IT'S MOTH SEASON!!!



Let's all sing the Moth Song, you know the words:

It's Moth, Moth,
It's small it's hairy it's grey,
It's Moth, Moth,
Is there anything better?
No way!


I have stockpiled 6 moths around the house this week. I decided to put one in every room, so that no matter where I was, there would be one nearby to play with. I even put one under the big black sleeping-on thing for tharsis. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm just that kind of guy.

I puked today.

You know what happened today? I had to get my journal verified today, because of my age. This is totally Cat bias. Wait - I know what it is, They don't want us Cats using the internet. I wonder why that is - are They finally becoming aware how intelligent we actually are, and are maybe getting a little jealous?? Or maybe it's that the dogs are in on this. HAH, I knew it! They only go by Human Years here, which means to Them I'm like, 8 or something and a minor, therefore my "parents" have to verify my journal. Just more hoops for us Cats to jump through, like we're second-class citizens or something. Do They not know how many laps I warm? Do They not have any idea how hard I work to give those poor, silly, shivering, bald Humans a fur coat by rubbing myself all over their clothing and linens? Do They think that's easy to do?? Well, that's just ridiculous. Imagine being 32 and having to get your "parents" to verify your blog. Pffft. So yeah, I had to go ask She Who Makes the Lap to verify my journal for me. She did it in a second. At least *She* knows what side her lap is warmed on!

Oh yeah, and tharsis had to do his blog, too.

Mrrrph!!

I want to subject you all to the most HILARIOUS photo of tharsis, humbled by the Humans and Their strange Cat-mas customs. Makes me purr every damn time I see it.



Of course, once They discover this kind of thing is all terrific fun, They inevitably victimize innocent bystanders.

( Bastards. )

The Humans have brought out the boxes (yay!) with all the shiny things in them. Why they only do this when it gets cold outside I don't know. Soon they will try to bring the outside inside again, and make the non-tree. She Who Makes The Lap hung up the bright sparkly things in the window a couple of days ago. This left the box she pulled them out of half empty. *JOY*

There's nothing like sleeping in a cardboard box full of lumpy wiry things.

*singing*

"MOTH, moth, it's big, it's ugly, it's grey,

It's moth, Moth, is there anything better? No way!"


Crikey, look at that little Sheila - a full-grown meal-toy moth! Streuth! I've whacked it out of the air, stepped on it a couple of times, and pulled half of one wing off, that ought to really piss it off!!

*romp*

There are two, count them TWO cardboard boxes on the floor!

*explode*

The Strange Humans have been coming and going, making holes in things and getting dust everywhere for AGES now, and moving the furniture around. Every time I turn around the poop-sand has been put in another place to keep it out of Their way. It's kind of exciting really, kind of a poop-sand-hide-and-seek.

Anyway, one of the Strange Humans was here yesterday working on the small outside platform thing. She Who Makes The Lap was watching me. She knows me too well; I love to climb and jump and stuff - well duh, I'm a cat. Anyway, so She turns around and I sieze my opportunity to investigate. Lo and behold the Strange Man has removed the jail! The path was clear for me to hop onto the ledge and seek adventure! But no sooner had I reached the edge She picked me up by the scruff of my neck and brought me inside.

Bugger. Of course, She puts me down and there's tharsis, looking all smug, sitting on his stick because he was too chicken to explore.
>:(

Oh yeah, and a happy belated birthday to tharsis. Remember, you will always be younger than me. Therefore I will always be The Big Cat Of The House. HAH!

The Cat Quiz

You are Jazz!

You scored 63% for assertiveness. You know that you could be the boss if you want to, but it isn't worth the trouble.

You scored 66% for core skills. You are beautiful, a lap cat, so who cares if you're not the greatest hunter?

You scored 63% for Human Relations. You are a loveable furrball, adorable and cossetted.

Heh, great quiz. 10 bucks says tharsis will copy me and do it within the next 3 hours. In other news, I discovered that have a plant chewing problem. I know, I know, I shouldn't do it. But I can't help it. It's like scratching furniture - once you start it's so hard to stop. I've been soaked with the water gun so many times, that I think the Humans are trying to tell me I should stop, too. Are there any special products I could use to cut back? I dread the thought of cold turkey.

"Who Were You?"

(Another cat quiz)

You are the reincarnation of Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

American printer and publisher, author, inventor and scientist, and diplomat.

Woohoo! I knew I'd be somebody cool. Um... Ok, who's Benjamin Franklin? Was he a short-hair? Anybody?