bye bye beautiful

_jabberjaw @ 2005-04-06T15:33:00

2005-04-06T20:34:35Z

just a reminder...i changed my LJ name
i am now _newspaprtragdy
PLEASE ADD ME THERE! thank you.
♥

_jabberjaw @ 2005-03-16T13:12:00

2005-03-16T19:13:20Z

i have changed my livejournal name.
please add it!
new name:_newspaprtragdy
i'll no longer be posting on this one.
thank you!

Well...from now on...

2004-09-13T23:38:11Z

thanks.
whitney.♥

EDIT: If you are currently on my friends list I plan on keeping you on there. If you are NOT on my friends list and want to be my friend because I am so awesome, just leave me a post and I will add you back.
kthanks.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-09-09T18:31:00

2004-09-09T23:43:30Z

This week is the first week where I am beginning to feel overwhelmed by things. Tonight is my first night to stay home in a while and I feel the huge need to grab my keys and drive 10 minutes and spend the rest of my night with him and not have to worry about school or deadlines or commitments.

Tonight alone I need to: write a rough draft for AP Lit over Beowulf, fix, finish, and type my Anglo-Saxon style poem for AP Lit, print out an article for Visual Arts App, magically make this list of costs for applications that I don't have for my mom, organize my one single binder that holds everything, try to work on cutting the Duo for this year from a 300 page novel, and begin plans for my StuCo spirit week committee.

Yeeuh.

I am looking forward to this weekend so much. Tomorrow night I'm driving Zac, Caty and Kenz to the Revs show and picking Amanda up along the way. I havent been out to Wentzville in forever, and just all the good times we've had out there really makes me look forward to it. Plus we get to see my boys play which is awesome since I haven't really hung out with them since last Sunday, where the infamous calls occured. [That night was so halarious...] Then onto Saturday where Zac and I have a ton of plans, which will just be amazing, I know. Sunday I have an awards ceremony which they have made entirely too long, but I'm still going to. Monday I visit Lindenwood [barf] and hope they don't offer me a lot of money. :/

I guess I really better get moving on that homework.
♥

P.S. I love these things

My lj wedding by chynafox
username
age
city
you will marry	startthepanic
flower girl	bend_to_squares
best man	theradiosaid_
bridesmaid	_s_i_m_o_n_e_
you will have your last fling with	unsent_wishes
registrar	____pianoisland
secretly wants to marry you themself	_tessie_
date of the wedding	September 9, 2026
number of times you do it on your wedding night	63

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Haha... Aaron and I will be married, but Kenz will be my last fling. Oh dang! :)

_jabberjaw @ 2004-09-08T22:36:00

2004-09-09T03:37:06Z

When and how are you going to die? by hateyerstate
Insert your name here.
Year	2008
Month	January
Day	Sunday
How?	Drowned.
Where were you?	At a meeting.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

What the fuck kind of meeting was I at that I DROWNED?
And, in like only 4 more years!!! :(
I'll miss you guys... :(

_jabberjaw @ 2004-09-07T22:25:00

2004-09-08T03:26:29Z

At your ten year high school reunion... by robbiewriter
Your school name
Your name
Your job will be	Actor
You will be worth	$198,552
Everyone will think you	are a snob

Quiz created with MemeGen!

...for telling me I'd never be an actor!
...but i'm not a snob. :(

_jabberjaw @ 2004-09-04T13:22:00

2004-09-04T18:29:13Z

i didn't get back up today until 1 o'clock. and, it was great.
zac and i saw suspect 0 last night. weird but good movie.
last night was a lot of fun...we goofed off and just had an over all good time.
hope everyone has fun this weekend while i'm slaving away in hell.

♥

_jabberjaw @ 2004-09-01T21:43:00

2004-09-02T02:46:28Z

Tonight was really great.
Really, really great.

Dinner with dad went fabulous, we talked a lot and he said a lot of things I have been waiting a long time to hear. :) Things are only going to look up for us and I know it, and it makes me so happy.

Then my friends made me feel happy and loved like always. Guys, I never knew friends like you.... I've never felt so loved by one group of people. My friends this year make me so fucking happy, I absolutely love it. School makes me happy. Spending time with Zac makes me very very happy. Friends make me very happy. Life in general is looking up.

I made the play, too. I'm Elaine, the slutty girlfriend/fiance. Oh dang!

I'm excited.
Off to study for art history.
♥

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-31T17:25:00

2004-08-31T22:26:30Z

LJ House Party by fayray

Username

The DJ

sketch81504

The Drunk

juiceboxpunk

The Hottie

mixtapeparty

The Wallflower

_s_i_m_o_n_e_

The Player

nerdycourt

The Gambler

midnightzac

The Horny One

startthepanic

The Crasher

veuve_norie

The Love Interest

_whatadoll

How many people got laid

Chances the party will be a sucess: 26%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

That seems about right.
Zac is in the corner gambling and Aaron is running around horny.
Sounds like a Friday night to me. ;)
It's probably not successful because I forgot the keg... dammit.
edit: or because mike SUCKS as a DJ. you suck mike.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-30T22:28:00

2004-08-31T03:31:41Z

I went to bed at 9 with a headache, hoping to catch up on my sleep, invisioning myself fully rested for tomorrow.

With too much on my mind I finally gave up at 10 for hopes that this computer screen will make me tired enough to want to sleep.

Tonight is a strange night.

~~i am not good enough for anything~~.

i made callbacks for the play. woot.
i wish i was more excited.

...♥

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-28T12:29:00

2004-08-28T17:31:42Z

Last night was wonderful//awful.
I'll write more later when i have time.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-23T22:30:00

2004-08-24T03:39:06Z

lets pretend were not needy
lets pretend our hearts still beat
lets pretend we fall in love tonight
clumsy enough to fall for anything
well stumble on our words
well spill our guts on creaking bar stools
below the neon blue
low lives hiding in dives theres no feeling in drinking sleeping with strangers
ghosts passing through bedrooms unaware
a faint reflection on the barbacks mirror
a face i never knew whispering,
please dont be a stranger to me. who are you if youre alone
youre no good at pretending
all my plays have tragic endings
you wish i was a fairy tale
this frog will never change anything
just pretend that youre in love
that scolding sun is bound to come up eventually
so who is it that whispers in your ear
a haunting voice blows in through the window
theres no feeling floating over beds
a needy pleading apparition
crying 'who am i if im alone?
i hardly exist at all.
lets pretend that we dont need anything anymore from anyone.
i dont want to feel anything anymore lets just pretend'
well live happily ever after

i don't know if i can sum it up better than that.
whatever.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-23T19:23:00

2004-08-24T00:24:53Z

PhotoBucket is being an ass and not uploading my pictures I took today.
I decided to take pictures everyday at school. Because, well, its fun.

The deathcab show is sold out and extremely expensive. [sigh] :(

I guess thats all for now.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-23T18:59:00

2004-08-23T23:59:50Z

Which movie? by travel_crazy
Username
Favourite colour
You belong in
And your co-star should be	unsent_wishes

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I love that movie too.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-22T21:56:00

2004-08-23T03:01:51Z

This weekend was rather fun and I laughed more than I have in the past couple of weeks, so it was a great change.
I finally got a CD player installed into my car and it is a beautiful thing. I can blast my music and it even starts when I turn the car on, and I am so in love with that. Zac got me into Cursive... who are fucking amazing, so, yeah. Love them too.

Seeing the guys record yesterday was a good time. Its great seeing your friends get out of the garage and into a small cramped studio, and still act like asses until they have the headphones on and instruments in their hand. Then they're serious as hell and do a fantastic job at it. I kept looking at Mike and totally denying in my head the fact that he is leaving soon. I hate it. I hate people having to leave.

Got my CD Player and we ate at Stir Crazy then hung out, ate some ice cream and went to Blockbuster ["...it smells like sluts..." hahahaa...] and watched Butterfly Effect again. Sorry we couldn't meet up with everyone again... damn me and my curfews. ://

This wednesday is the show.. it should be interesting, thats for sure.
I'm just glad I had the weekend that I did. And I had a great talk with Tom, which really made me feel justified in a lot of ways, and I love him to death for it. He's such a great person.. and he better not leave for college either.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-20T15:26:00

2004-08-20T20:27:41Z

So I got a letter from my Dad today. He found the article in the paper about me and laminated it and sent it with a card and a 2 page letter. Of course I started crying before I even read any words. I miss him so much but its just so hard knowing the situation we're in.

I think I am going to call him soon, though.

Tonight everyone is hanging out for a bit for once. I'm very glad.. and I hope things go OK. Cody made me feel better about everything today at lunch, so, here's hoping.

I'm off to take my nap now...
♥

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-19T22:54:00

2004-08-20T04:05:12Z

school.
i'm kind of sick of it already. the whole school part. AP lit is incredibly amazing. mrs. baker is the kind of teacher i want to learn to be if i choose education. photo-j will be fun.. i hope. art history is a blast with claire and cassie. oral comm is lame but am government is humorous due to the smart ass mr. dreyer. T.A.ing isn't that exciting. neither is stats. but, i love the afternoon naps. and what comes after them. :)

i can't wait until things are OK again and everyone is happy.
i guess for once i put myself ahead and i am happy, but no one wants to be ok with that...://

♥

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-18T15:01:00

2004-08-18T20:05:58Z

My day was certainly better since it started out better than yesterday.
Last night I had a smile on my face until I got home and visited this world of the internet. How fun, right.
It amazes me how much my friends love me, and I know they do. And since I'm a girl.. they're willing to castrate anyone for me. And, thats awesome. But... not right now. There is so much I want to say to everyone that no one is listening to. I just wish people would give it a chance.

Its like I said last night.. I thought this was a decision between he and I. I thought it was our choice to decide whether or not to be together, not everyone elses. And we have done nothing wrong to anyone else, though everyone is suddenly making accusations and putting down every little thing that may be starting to make me happy again.

I know certain people mean well and this is there way of hiding their feelings or simply acting out on them in the wrong way, but it is hurting the both of us.

And I find it completely amazing that the person this should be affecting and hurting the most is the one with the most level head and understanding attitude. And I think that is just simply amazing.

I just wish everything would die down. I am such a problem solver and this one I don't seem to have the power to fix, and I hate it.
So, someone, please just fix it for me.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-17T14:55:00

2004-08-17T19:59:23Z

So I thought I was entering this school year free of worries and frusterations but I guess as always I was wrong.

I have great friends who I know would do anything for me, but at the same time they are maybe inadvertantly trying to sway my thoughts, decisions, and feelings. And there is so much chaos and feelings being hurt... and I hate that I am as Cody said, stuck in the middle of all this, and yet feel like it is completely my fault.

So, I'm sorry I brought everyone down.

On a lighter note, the highlight of today:
In Art History we had to fill out a "pretest" worksheet and one of the questions was Who is your favorite artist?
...Definitely me. [i put]
What is your favorite work of art?
....Definitely anything I draw. [i put]

Claire and I find that absolutely halarious.
You would too at 8 AM. :)

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-15T21:48:00

2004-08-16T02:49:38Z

A complete weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel so relieved.
Thank you for the best friends I've ever had.
Things are really starting to pick up...
♥

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-13T15:40:00

2004-08-13T20:40:44Z

I haven't had a good picture post in what seems like forever.
Tonight I'm bringing the digital fo-sho'.
So, you all better look hot, or else.
♥

Summer is coming to an end... ://

2004-08-13T20:24:01Z

In this room I'm sitting by your side.
'Cause it rains for hours and the phone is off its hook.
Standing on the edge, casting lots to set me up before you knock me down,
off the summer's edge and drown me.
We're betting on our own lives, making up for all the time we lost.
In this house of cards we're all holding hearts and spades
(one breath, one step could knock it all down)
but you lead with your eyes and you give it away
(decide, design to cut from the clouds).
When the people you love get lost in the shuffle,
(when you leave, you leave nothing but broken heart)
you let it go and then you fold.
So we stay on the open road.
We drive for hours and still no end in sight at all.
Driving in your car, miss the stop sign, fall in love, just to get knocked out.
Pull your punches and burn with your cigarettes.
Pulled like a punch and burnt like a cigarette?
forever.

thursday.

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-13T14:54:00

2004-08-13T20:02:15Z

Fuck summer homework.
Thats what I say.

...i got a $1 paper lantern from work and its awesome.

Tonight is going to be awful at work because of the whole Missouri No Tax law. ://
But, I get to see all the boys tonight, and I'm excited.

...♥

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-12T15:25:00

2004-08-12T20:32:59Z

These last few days have been really good... getting to spend time away from everything and everyone and realizing a lot of things I didn't think about before. School starts soon and it scares me to death how busy I am going to be and who I will and will not see. I just hope the constant drama that went down last year stays away, and I can just enjoy this year with everyone and everything going on.

Being back at school yesterday made me sort of miss it.
And, hey, everyone in St. Chuck/St. Peters, look for the Student Spotlight of ME coming out in the Post on the 17th. Woot, I am fuckin awesome.

Off to the workforce..
♥

_jabberjaw @ 2004-08-10T11:44:00

2004-08-10T16:47:56Z

Woke up at 7. Then at 8. Then at 10:30. Decided to get up at 11.
I feel like I have so many things to do today and I really don't.
I just want to drive around and eat food and spend the day outside.
I still have that goddamn paper to ~~write~~ pull out of my ass by Monday for AP Lit.
I miss everyone I haven't seen since last Thursday or earlier.
Let's hang out Thursday night after I get off work, OK?

Caty: I plan on talking to you soon but I only have like 4 minutes left on my cell for this month. I'll call you soon. ♥