Please let my love for you go unnoticed...

[POV x2] I know now it's love, but we can never be.

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 05:33:55 GMT

Title: I know now it’s love.
Author: _israfael_
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: PG-ish?
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything etc.
Summary: Gackt’s point of view- A short one scene story that shows the reader his side of his feelings for Hyde. **This runs parallel to Hyde’s POV in But we can never be., however this one should be read first.

*~~~*

Gackt stared at Hyde across the room. Hyde was laughing, surrounded by people while Gackt remained sitting, waiting for Hyde to come join him for a drink. He nodded politely and shook many hands that came by to congratulate him as conversation carried on at his table.

Another year older…

He put his chin in his hand and leaned on the round wooden table, ignoring the conversation around him. He continued to stare across the room silently as Hyde put his arm around Megumi.

His wife. Are they happy together? Or is it just a show?

He sighed loudly. His acquaintances paused their conversation just long enough to stop and look at him briefly. He didn’t care.

How long has it been? When was it that my feelings began to develop for you? I’ve always admired your physique and thought you were beautiful, but when did these feelings turn to lust? Longing?

I know now it’s love. I am in love with you. It’s only now in this moment, in this new passing year that I have finally admitted it to myself.

I can’t stand seeing your arm around her. Holding her hand. Looking at her so tenderly. I wish I could have you all to myself.

All these people around me… they don’t know me. Always surrounded by people, yet I’ve never felt so alone. You’re the only one that I want. My only desire that I can’t have. I would give up everything if it meant that you would be mine for even just one day. Just one passing day.

This jealousy in me… it will make me a monster. Knowing I will always be just your friend… as much as it hurts, just as long as I can always be by your side, it will have to be enough.

No matter how many times I embrace you, I know you aren’t coming home to me. Yet every time I see you, my heart lurches into my throat.

I love you.

The words want to spring forth from my lips, but I am too enraptured in your presence that those words can’t even slip out.

I kick myself everyday for that time I nearly kissed you. I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve either kissed you or not tried at all. Now it’s just a memory I almost regret having.

Everything about you… I adore it all. Some days my curiosity gets the best of me and I wonder if you’ve ever seen me as more than just a friend. If you could ever see me as more. But then reality sets in. We are both men and you have your own family. It might be love, but we can never be.

So I made a promise to God.

Hyde parted from his group across the room as the company sitting at Gackt’s table said their goodbye’s and excused themselves. He was alone now at his table as Hyde began walking toward him.

I promised him that as long as he let me stay by your side as your friend, being there when you need me, that I would never be the cause of anything you might regret.

“Gacchan,” Hyde called, reaching the table, “did you make your birthday wish yet?”

But just this once, God. Forgive me for this sin because love is blind.

Gackt rose from his seat and embraced his dear friend in a hug.

And blind I am.

Hyde paused, realizing Gackt hadn’t let go of him.

“Gacchan?”

Gackt closed his eyes and smiled, resting his head on Hyde’s shoulder briefly. He raised his head and looked down at the shorter man. Hyde’s face was beautiful. With his arm still around Hyde’s neck, he removed his sunglasses and leaned in, breathing in Hyde’s cologne.

“Ga—,”

His lips grazed Hyde’s before delicately pressing against them. Letting go, he plopped back down in his seat.

The surprise wearing off, Hyde sat down, blushing.

“I—,” Gackt started.

“Happy birthday, Gacchan,” interrupted Hyde, smiling as he looked up at Gackt. He reached over and ran his thumb across Gackt's chin, as if to say it was okay.

Gackt smiled back, “Ready for that drink now?”

“A drink with my best friend on his birthday? Of course!” Hyde laughed, hailing a server.

Please God, as my wish this year, if it can’t be more, let us always stay just like this.

*~~~*

Title: But we can never be.
Author: _israfael_
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: PG-ish?
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything etc.
Summary: Hyde’s point of view- A short one scene story that shows the reader his side of his feelings for Gackt. **This runs parallel to Gackt’s POV in I know now it’s love., however this one should be read last.

*~~~*

Hyde forced a laugh as the company he stood with made an attempt to crack a joke.

Pathetic.

He glanced over his shoulder, hearing Megumi approach. He smiled, but it wasn’t at her. Beyond her he saw Gackt with his head in his hand, looking incredibly bored.

Hyde chuckled to himself.

That’s just like him to be bored at his own party… I told him I’d have a drink with him, but I don’t want to go over there while others are at his table… I want my time with him alone.

His thoughts trailed off as Megumi slid her arm around her husband’s waist. Absent mindedly, he put his arm around her shoulder.

How long will I have to stand here like this, like it’s some networking event? I don’t care about these people… I’m here for one person only.

Hyde forced another laugh before glancing across the room at Gackt.

When did you get so important to me? I thought I’d only ever have these feelings for Megumi, but every time I look at you, my heart aches.

Whether it’s love or infatuation… with each passing day I grow more and more anxious to see you.

Sometimes I go for weeks without talking to you. It’s not because I don’t have the time, it’s because I don’t want you to notice the confusion in my heart.

You have so many people around you, but yet you choose no one. You are always alone. “Cool like plastic” they say… I’m afraid that you’d shut me out if you knew how I felt about you. What are you hiding behind that stoic face of yours?

I wish I could tell you how amazing you are. Younger than me, but yet somehow from that very first time I met you and even now, you’ve fueled a fire in me that I thought had long burned out.

Is this what they call passion?

I kick myself everyday for that time you almost kissed me. I shouldn’t have opened my eyes. I should’ve just let it happen. Now it’s just a memory that I will always wonder if that simple kiss could’ve changed anything.

I’m sure there is someone you love. A person in love grows more beautiful each day, they say, and each time I see you, you are a hundred times more beautiful and radiant than the last. Who is it that you are in love with? Why does the thought of you loving someone besides me fill me with such jealousy? I hate feeling this way.

So I made a promise to God.

Gackt’s company had finally departed from the table, leaving Gackt all by himself. Hyde excused himself from the group he shad been standing with and walked across the room, leaving Megumi behind.

I promised him that as long as he let me stay by your side as your friend, being there when you need me, that I would never be the cause of anything you might regret.

“Gacchan,” Hyde called, reaching the table, “did you make your birthday wish yet?”

Gackt looked up at him with a blank expression.

But just this once, God. Forgive me for this sin because love is blind.

Gackt rose silently from his seat and threw his arms around Hyde in a hug.

Hyde closed his eyes and embraced him back, smiling to himself when Gackt didn’t let go.

And blind I am.

“Gacchan?”

Gackt raised his head and looked down at Hyde briefly before leaning back in, making Hyde’s heart lurch into his throat.

“Ga—,”

His lips grazed Gackt’s as he tried to say his name. Softly, Gackt pressed his lips on Hyde’s before releasing him and sitting back down.

I know now.

Hyde sat down with his friend and blushed.

“I—,” Gackt started.

“Happy birthday, Gacchan,” interrupted Hyde, a smile spreading across his face. He reached over and ran his thumb across Gackt’s chin.

I know now it’s love.

Gackt smiled back, “Ready for that drink now?”

“A drink with my best friend on his birthday? Of course!” Hyde laughed, hailing a server.

But we can never be.

*~~~*

Forbidden - Chapter Five

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 06:29:45 GMT

Title: Forbidden
Author: Israfael
Band: D'espairsRay
Pairing: Hizumi x Karyu; Tsukasa x Zero
Synopsis: All starting with one drunken night, the band members are each forced to deal with their own inner pain, but when one seeks comfort in another, can a secretive relationship last when jealousy escalates?

[Notes:] Both long awaited and long forgotten, the story is back for it's final few chapters. New readers welcome and an apology to those of you who have waited so long!

Need a refresh? It's been well over a year since the last chapter.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapters Three & Four

[Recap: Karyu walked briskly up to Zero and drew back his fist.

…did Tsukasa tell him what I did?

There was a sickening crack as Karyu’s fist connected with Zero’s face. Zero flew backwards and landed on the ground.

…I guess… he did… That was the last thought that ran through Zero’s mind before he blacked out.

For the first time ever, there would be no encore.]

*~~~*

A week had passed since the incident where Karyu had punched out Zero. Karyu had avoided every last one of his bandmates calls, ignored their text messages, and even pretended not to be home if one of them showed up on his doorstep. He didn't know how, or even if he could, face any of them. Logging onto the homepage, Karyu couldn't ignore the message sitting in his mailbox from their manager Sataroh, requesting a meeting.

The meeting was today, and all Karyu could do was pace back and forth in his bedroom, leaving an oval shaped inprint on the carpet from the continuous circling. Immediately after hitting Zero, he regretted it, but how can you apologize for something like that? He still had no idea what to make of Hizumi's possible relationship with Zero. He was too scared to ask and too scared to talk to Hizumi for fear of rejection. Was that the real reason why Hizumi wanted to be so secretive about their relationship? Was Karyu just merely 'the other man'? Was he Hizumi's side lover? Should it have been Zero punching him instead?

Karyu paused in his pacing as he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He bolted to the bathroom and dropped to his knees in front of the toilet, clutching it's cold ceramic sides with his slender hands.

What if the meeting was to tell him that his act of unjustified violence got him him kicked out of the band? Karyu's eyes flared as he leaned over the bowl and vomitted. He lifted his head up and sat back on his haunches, grabbing the red terry cloth towel suspended on the rack above his head.

What would I do? he thought, wiping his mouth. What would I do if I had no D'espairsRay?

He jolted forward and threw up again.

*~~~*

Hizumi sighed, closing his cell phone. It was no use. Karyu wouldn't answer it anyway even if he tried calling him agin. He had received the email from Sataroh requesting a meeting, then he received a seperate message from Zero asking Hizumi to come twenty minutes early so he could talk to him alone.

Hizumi hadn't talked to any of the members since that day. Not that he didn't try, he even swung by Karyu's place, but there was no answer. When it came down to it, Hizumi wasn't even sure if he would've known what to say to any of them, had they answered.

Putting his cell phone in his pocket, he grabbed his keys, slipped on his shoes and headed out to meet Zero early in the studio.

*~~~*

I won't know what it is if I don't go...

Karyu finally managed to pick himself off his bathroom floor.

Maybe if I go early, I can just talk to Sataroh before anyone else gets there, see what he wants, and then leave before anyone else arrives. I wouldn't know how to face them if I'm being kicked out... I just... I don't know what to say to any of them...

Karyu walked to his door and sat on the step, tying his shoes. He grabbed his coat and keys and took one final deep breath, sucking in as much air as his lungs could hold and slowly exhaling before he opened his door and left.

*~~~*

Staring at his clock, he knew he should get ready to go soon. After all, he thought, this meeting is being called because of me. He stood up from his bed and walked over to his closet, pulling out a plain brown sweater and dark blue jeans. He laid them out on his bed next to his fuzzy winter coat. I bet everyone is dreading this meeting. I know I am.

*~~~*

The air was cold. Karyu dug his hands deep into his pockets as he walked down the block headed toward the studio. Stopping at a crosswalk, Karyu saw someone ahead of him that looked framiliar. Is that Zero? He waited for his turn to cross the street and slowly walked behind the shorter figure that was walking twenty feet ahead of him. He paused at a distance, watching as the figure walked up the steps to the record label's building. Shit... what's he doing here so early? He waited until Zero had entered the building and the door had shut until he walked up the steps himself. Maybe everyone else is meeting right now to discuss how to kick me out... He felt sick again. Swallowing his feeling of sickness down, he opened up the door and walked slowly down the hallway.

*~~~*

Hizumi was already waiting in the meeting room. He had gotten there before Zero and sat down on the couch, thumbing through yesterday's newspaper to occupy his time.

Five minutes had passes when Hizumi heard the door open and click shut. He glanced up at the sound and saw Zero . He closed the paper and was just about to set it back down on the table when Zero blurted it out.

"I'm quitting the band."

Hizumi dropped the paper in surprise and stared at Zero, bewildered. He blinked a few times, registering what Zero had said. "...what?"

*~~~*

What?! Karyu clasped his hand over his mouth. His eyebrows arched upward as he slowly slid down the wall, crouching next to the door. After he had walked into the building, he decided to listen in on whatever was happening in the meeting room before entering it himself.

"I'm leaving the band," Zero repeated. "I'm sure Tsukasa will find a much more suitable replacement." His eyes flinched when he said Tsukasa's name.

Hizumi broke his silence, "So you're just going to run away?! You won't try to reslove what happened?!" He threw his news paper to the ground and stood up from the couch. He didn't expect this. He didn't want this.

"I don't want to run away," Zero looked down.

"Then why are you!" Hizumi snapped, anger rushing to his head.

"Because... I want to forget. I just... maybe if I leave the band I'll be able to forget someday. Forget about him... and maybe this empty void that hurts so much will start to fade."

Karyu's eyes widened even more as he kept his hand clasped firmly over his mouth. Who is Zero talking about?

Hizumi didn't know what to say. Zero hadn't moved from that spot in front of the closed door.

"I can never... knowing that... I... I'm not a woman," he fidgeted with the bottom hem of his shirt.

Hizumi flomped back down on the couch. He sighed, exhaling loudly, motioning for Zero to come sit beside him. "You know that shouldn't matter. Gender doesn't matter. Not when it's love." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as images of Karyu popped into his head. "If it's love, it doesn't matter. You should want to show the world to that person and that person to the world." Have I really been that stupid? Hizumi thought. Why had I wanted to keep mine and Karyu's relationship a secret? Was I ashamed? Afraid of judgement? "If we could choose who we loved, it would make things much simpler, but not nearly as magical..." Hizumi trailed off.

Zero looked at him, perplexed. "Just who are you talking about, because I know you're not talking about my feelings for Tsukasa."

Hizumi blushed, realizing he had strayed from thinking about Zero and Tsukasa. "I... there's someone I love too, only now I realize just how much I take him for granted... what I'm trying to say is being in love with another man doesn't matter."

Karyu's eyebrows drew upward together as his eyes welled with tears. How could I have been so stupid? So untrusting... so assumptuous? He fell to his knees from the crouching position he had been in for the past ten minutes and clasped his face in his hands, catching the tears that slowly ran down his cheeks. I'm so stupid... He quickly picked himself up off the floor and took off running down the hallway, disappearing around the corner.

"It's not that..." Zero paused, his brow furrowing. He opened the door and stuck his head out into the hallway, taking a quick look before drawing his head back in.

"What's up?" Hizumi questioned.

"Nothing. I thought I heard footsteps outside the door." Zero closed the door and made his way over to Hizumi. "As I was saying... it's not that simple." Zero looked down at Hizumi, stopping in front of him. "Is that yesterday's paper?"

"Yeah why?" Hizumi was shocked when he looked up at Zero. From far away he couldn't see how awful Zero looked, but now that he was close, Zero looked like he had done nothing but cry the entire week. His skin was even more pale than usual, his eyes were sagging and he looked thinner like hadn't been eating.

"Flip to page eight." Zero sat down haughtily and loooked up at the ceiling.

Hizumi picked up the rumpled paper he had thrown to the ground earlier. Flipping through the sections, he found page eight and paused momentarily, looking at Zero, silently questioning him.

Zero gave a nod. "Yes. That's the right section. Five paragraphs down. The one without a picture."

Hizumi leaned down and squinted at the paper in disbelief. No... no way... He looked up at Zero wide-eyed in horror. "Tsukasa's getting MARRIED?!"

*~~~*

[Note:] Thank you to everyone who read this story and kept sending me comments asking for more~ it's what inspired me to get out of my funk and finish the story ^-^ There's two chapters left! Now I just gotta get around to typing them up XD;

Birthday Lessons (One Shot)

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 06:33:16 GMT

Title: Birthday Lessons
Author: Israfael
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Gackt x Hyde
Disclaimer: The usual~ don't own anything, don't have rights, blah blah...

To my dear senshi_v, almost two years late ♥

[Notes:] homg yes here's two links to my badly drawn art XD;

*~~~*

Hyde sighed. He leaned back his head and closed his eyes, staring into the black void behind his eyelids. Today was his birthday.

"If you don't blow out your candles soon, they'll melt all over your cake!"

Hyde's eyes snapped open, hearing Tetsu's words. "Aah... I'm trying to think of a good wish..."

Ken drummed his fingers on the dark wood table as he fidgeted in his chair. "Aahhh, hurry up! I'm hungryyyyy... hurryyyyyy!" he whined. Yukihiro glared at him for whining.

"Make your wish good and remember," Gackt said peering over the silver rim of his sunglasses, "if you tell anyone, your wish might not come true."

"What more could I need?" Hyde chuckled as Yukihiro slapped Ken's hand away from the cake icing. "My closest friends coming to the house surprising me for my birthday because Megumi is away on business." HE made his wish as he gently blew out the lit candles.

*~~~*

Several hours and drinking games later, the five friends were laughing hysterically as the group tried to play a simple game of Jenga. This was the third time Yukihiro had knocked down the Jenga tower out of turn, and Ken was rolling on the floor holding his sides from laughter.

Yukihiro threw a Jenga block at Ken, "Ahh shut up! Consider my knocking it down a favor! It was your turn after all!"

Tetsu laughed "maybe were all just a bit too drunk for Jenga, ne?"

Ken rolled over and nodded as he sat up, "Besides Tetsu, it's time for our wrestling match to be replayed!" Ken made wibbly eyes at Hyde, "Hyde-kun, do you think we could please watch it on your big screen?"

Hyde laughed, "alright, I did promise I'd let you watch one of your matches on it, didn't I?"

Tetsu and Ken's eyes turned glossy, "what about the rest of you?"

Yukihiro stood up and started to head towards the big screen room, "I wanna see what this obsession with wrestling you have is all about."

"and I'm supposed to have a pool rematch with Gacchan. Megumi and I got a pool table last year and it hasn't been used much. Maybe he'll be able to finally beat me since we're drunk!"

Gackt laughed, "Then that's not really beating you, but I accept anyway!" He filled Hyde's glass with more beer and pushed it towards him, raising his own glass in the air. "Kanpai!"

"Kanpai!" replied Hyde, clinking their glasses together in the air.

*~~~*

"This isn't fair! If you hadn't made me drink so much I'd be beating you right now!"

Gackt laughed. "You're the only person I've never been able to beat, and you challenged me. You think I'd play fair?"

Hyde smiled. "True, where's the fun in foreplay?" He leaned down and closed one eye, attempting to line up his shot, but the eight ball was in the way. "How do you line this shot up? I don't understand how you can always make these hard shots!"

"You mean fair play," Gackt said, walking up behind Hyde's thin frame. He leaned over Hyde's back, gently placing his hands on Hyde's smooth fingers.

"That's what I said, fair play." Hyde replied, shifting his weight against Gackt's lean body.

Gackt leaned forward, placing his chin over Hyde's shoulders. He moved Hyde's hands, guiding the cue stick for the shot. "No, you said foreplay," he breathed onto the edge of Hyde's ear.

A sudden chill ran down Hyde's spine as he struck the cue ball. "Fore... play?" he questioned, turning his head slowly until his eyes were greeted by Gackt's sunglasses.

Gackt removed them with one hand as he looked at Hyde, keeping his one hand tightly around Hyde's, not letting go. He set the sunglasses down and stared into his eyes and muttered raspily into his ear, "you know, the thing you do before you make love to Megumi every night."

Another chill ran down his spine making him shudder as he felt the chill reach his groin. What was it? Was it the way Gackt was holding him so firmly, the way he said things so bluntly; or maybe it was the way Hyde could feel his warm breath on his ears.

Whatever it was, Hyde blushed uncontrollably as Gackt released his fingers and slowly ran his hands softly up Hyde's arms, stopping at his shoulders. "You know, I always forget you have this tattoo," Gackt said, running his thumbs along Hyde's shoulder blades tracing the black ink lines that disappeared under the white ribbed tank top Hyde was wearing. "You were already an angel, this just defines it."

Hyde turned around slowly in Gackt's grasp, trying to hide his flushed cheeks. "You should get a tattoo, Gacchan."

Gackt stepped forward towards Hyde, causing him to step back into the pool table. He looked down at the ground as he saw Gackt slip his hand onto the edge of the pool table between his hip and hand. He was always so passive when Gackt was around.

Gackt inched forward again, but with Hyde having nowhere to go, he pressed his body into Hyde's, using his free hand to tenderly tip Hyde's head up, stroking his jaw line with his thumb. He wanted to taste Hyde's mouth. "Only if it's your name."

Hyde looked up, raising his eyes to meet an intensely determined, almost possessive gaze from Gackt. Before he could reply, Gackt leaned down and covered Hyde's lips with his own warm supple mouth. He gently parted Hyde's lips, enrapturing his tongue with his own, kissing him deeply. A few moments passes before their lips parted, leaving Hyde speechless.

*~~~*

"Oh my," Gackt sighed as he backed up, releasing Hyde from his grasp. "I seem to have gotten ahead of myself, I completely skipped lesson one."

Hyde reached his hand up to his mouth, tracing his bottom lip absent mindedly as if he doubted what just happened. "Lesson... one?"

Gackt smiled cockily at Hyde. "Yes. Lessons for you. Just for your birthday, I was going to show you the meaning of pleasure," Gackt stared at Hyde's now pinkened, swollen lips. "I just got a little distracted by your pretty mouth." Hyde gave no reaction.

Not quite what Gackt had expected; he had thought either Hyde would snark at the suggestion and immediately tell Gackt that he had had too much to drink or he would just laugh it off as a drunken experience. Silence wasn't what he expected at all.

Hyde couldn't tell if Gackt was being serious or not. It was always hard to tell with him. He took a step toward Gackt and watched as Gackt straightened his posture with a surprised expression spread across his face when the smaller man approached him.

"You teach me?" Hyde questioned, tilting his head while a sarcastic smile played upon his face. He reached out with both hands and grabbed the denim belt loops on the front of Gackt's pants and yanked hard, jolting Gackt forward. Hyde stood on his tip toes, never letting go of the belt loops, and tilted his head to the side bringing his face just an inch from Gackt's. He glared into Gackt's blue eyes and breathed in a raspy voice, "you need to respect your elders." As he finished his sentence, his eyesight fell on Gackt's lips He could feel the warmth emanating from them onto his own. What could another kiss hurt?

Hyde tugged on the belt loops again, jolting Gackt's face into his, catching his lips with his own, sucking in Gackt's bottom lip, slightly grazing his teeth on it, nipping him in a playful manner. He released his belt loops and placed his hand on Gackt's chest, pushing on his body as he released his mouth and settled back on his heels. Hyde smirked as Gackt looked completely bewildered. "That was lesson number three."

The initial shock had worn off and Gackt was left smiling. "No that wasn't. This is lesson three." Gackt shoved Hyde back roughly into the pool table and advanced toward him with a look that a hunter gives it's prey before the kill. He grabbed Hyde's jaw and kissed him before he grabbed his waist and hoisted Hyde's bottom up onto the pool table. He ran his hands down the tank top, the only thing keeping him from Hyde's skin, until he reached the bottom hem. He tugged at the hem, using the same move Hyde had, and jerked him forward, driving more passion into the kiss.

He let go of the hem as he slid his hands under the fabric, guiding them up Hyde's defined abs until his right hand rested in the center of Hyde's chest. He broke the kiss, pushing Hyde's upper body down onto the empty green top of the pool table. He slid Hyde's shirt up to his nipples and broke eye contact as he bent over Hyde and began to lavish attention down from Hyde's nipples to his navel. Hyde shivered and reached a hand out, seeking Gackt's hair to grab onto while Gackt's tongue dipped eagerly in and out of Hyde's navel, trailing down his skin until he reached Hyde's jeans.

This scene's badly drawn art XD;

The button was easy to undo, and Hyde's face said all Gackt needed to know. As if understanding Gackt's pause, Hyde nodded and closed his eyes. He could feel the tightening in his groin. As Gackt slowly pulled down the zipper, a thought suddenly crossed Hyde's mind.

"Wait!" he gasped out, jerking the hand that grasped Gackt's hair, tugging the other man's head away from his hips. "We can't do this!" Hyde propped himself up on one elbow, his legs still dangling off the pool table.

Gackt looked at him slightly miffed that he had been stopped just when t was getting good. "Why not? We're both drunk and horny and it's obvious that we both want it. I don't think a hammer could knock this hard on down."

Hyde couldn't help but laugh, "no, it's just... the others are in the other room watching their wrestling match. What if they were to..." he trailed off, letting go of Gackt's hair.

Gackt sighed as he stood up straight. "Lesson number four. The chance of being caught only heightens the pleasure." With that, Gackt grabbed the waist of Hyde’s undone pants and yanked them down with his boxers, leaving Hyde's state of arousal completely exposed.

Hyde gasped as Gackt grabbed his hardened cock with one hand and bent over him on the pool table. He leaned into Hyde's ear and hissed at him, "you wanna know what lesson five is?"

"Yes." Hyde muttered, digging his nails into the green pool table top.

Gackt squeezed Hyde's erection, causing his whole body to tighten. "Louder."

"YES!"

Gackt smiled, "that's better."

Hyde gasped as Gackt's mouth took in his erection slowly. He clawed at the table while Gackt lavished attention to his cock, first focusing on the head, then slowly taking more in his mouth as he worked his way down, running his tongue along every inch of flesh. His mouth was warm, his tongue was soft, and it took Hyde all he had not to burst when Gackt started to stroke him while using his mouth.

Hyde had managed to subdue all the other moans that had tried to escape from the back of his throat, but this was just too much "Holy jesus..." he muttered, clenching his hand into a hard fist.

Gackt grinned as he slowly backed off Hyde's cock. He licked his lips, "not yet. You don't know what lesson six is."

Hyde nodded, slowly unclenching his fists, letting the blood circulate back into his hands.

"Lesson six. Prep work. I don't want to hurt you or myself."

Hyde nodded again as he sat up and hopped off the pool table, kicking off his pants and boxers that laid idly around his ankles. He walked over to the wine cabinet that was against the far wall and opened up one of the lower drawers. He reached in the back of the drawer and triumphantly produced a tube of lube.

Gackt laughed, "I guess this isn't the first time someone's been thoroughly ravaged on the pool table!" As Hyde walked back un-opening the tube, Gackt started to undo his own belt buckle.

"No. Let me."

Gackt raised his eyebrows and let go of his belt buckle. "Alright."

Hyde set the open tube of lube down on the edge of the pool table and reached for Gackt's belt, tugging on the large silver buckle until it gave way and the black leather slipped through it. The belt fell to the ground with a clank as the buckle hit the hardwood floor. Hyde looked at Gackt as he undid the button and slid the zipper down slowly, pausing when he got to the contained bulge in Gackt's groin.

Gackt couldn't contain himself any longer. He grabbed Hyde's shoulders and jerked him to the side, thrusting him into the pool table. He grabbed the tube of lube with one hand as he grabbed the back of Hyde's hair with the other. He pushed the smaller man down, bending him over the table, his read completely exposed.

Squeezing some lube onto his fingers, Gackt stooped over Hyde and hissed in his ear, "lesson number seven, never tease the teacher or the teacher may not play fair."

Hyde gasped as he felt Gackt's fingers enter him, then exit. Gackt put on more lube and entered Hyde with his fingers again, massaging everything they touched.

His pants being already undone, Gackt pulled out his cock and removed his fingers from Hyde. He grabbed the lube and applied a heavy amount to himself before setting the tube back on the table. Leaning down he whispered into Hyde's ear, "are you ready for lesson eight?"

Hyde moaned, gripping the eight ball that had been left out on the table top. "Yes..."

Gackt kissed Hyde's shoulder blade before standing back up properly. He placed his left hand on Hyde's hip and used his right to guide himself into Hyde's entrance, slowly.

Hyde pressed his face into the table top and gripped the eight ball even harder to keep from crying out in a mix of pain and ecstasy.

"I'm sorry... it'll only hurt for a minute..." Gackt muttered, fully entered. He let a few seconds pass before he began to move rhythmically thrusting his hips into Hyde.

Hyde gasped and struggled to contain the moans that were escaping his mouth when Gackt suddenly reached in front of Hyde and grabbed Hyde's exposed erection and began to massage it's length, running his fingers along every inch of flesh.

He could feel Hyde shaking beneath him, struggling not to come yet. "Wait for me," Gackt breathed as his hand slid down Hyde's shaft, forming a tight ring with his index and thumb at the base.

Hyde nodded as he propped his torso up on his elbows and started pushing back on Gackt whenever he thrusted, driving it deeper.

Gackt let out a grunt, "Oh my... your a fast learner," he said, huffing out of breath. "Squeeze your muscles when your body meets mine."

Listening to his teacher, the next time their bodies were thrusted together, Hyde clenched his rear muscles. "OHHH... shit..." Hyde muttered, closing his eyes as Gackt continued to thrust into him repeatedly.

More crappy scene art XD;

Gackt chuckled, "that was lesson nine." His thrusting quickened as he reached his end, "are you ready?" he asked Hyde, breathlessly/

"Hyde shook his head yes and Gackt released the tight ring he had made with his fingers and began to pump his hand up and down Hyde's shaft until the two of them cried out simultaneously as they climaxed together.

Gackt hunched over Hyde, panting out of breath, and stroked the small of Hyde's back with his hand. The laid there idly for a few minutes until Hyde finally spoke.

"We should clean up before the others wander in."

Gackt agreed and slowly pulled out of Hyde and wandered off to the bathroom to clean up.

*~~~*

An hour later, Gackt and Hyde were back to playing pool when Ken, Tetsu, and Yukihiro walked into the room.

"We sort of passed out on your couch, I'm so sorry!"

Hyde laughed, making another shot. "It's okay Ken. It's good that you slept off the alcohol before leaving," he lowered his cue stick. "Well Yuki, what do you think of wrestling?"

Yukihiro frowned, "I passed out before the match even started!"

Gackt smiled, "there's always next time!"

"Yeah, Yuki, next time you should come with Ken and we'll watch a match together!" said Tetsu, clapping Yukihiro on the back. "Oh, speaking of matches, who won?"

Gackt laughed and glanced at Hyde, "It was my score."

Hyde grinned, "that was the first round. You know, lesson ten." Hyde paused, aiming his next shot. "Just because one person dominated the first round doesn't mean that the other person won't dominate the second." He shot Gackt a sly smile and struck the cue ball, sinking the eight ball into the corner pocket winning the game.

*~~~*

From beyond the grave!

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 14:28:20 GMT

I... didn't die o.o

I'm still here~ XD;

I know its been forever since an update, but this is just so everyone knows I'm still here x3

As soon as I get the final chapters of the D'espairsRay fic typed up, it'll get posted; hopefully that'll be by the end of the week. So if you've forgotten what happened, you've got time to re-read the chapters XD;

I fail at updating, don't I? XD;

Another random note:

If you're interested in reading translations of several different J-rock blogs, including the BBS for D'espairsRay when they post entries in it, feel free to add nyappy_trans!

Forbidden - Chapters Three & Four

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 03:40:44 GMT

Title: Forbidden
Author: Israfael
Band: D'espairsRay
Genre: Yaoi, Drama
Pairings: Hizumi x Karyu, Zero x Tsukasa
Rating NC-17 (Sexual Situations, Graphic Violence)
Disclaimer I do not own D'espairsRay, nor do I own the rights to anything affiliated with them. All and any likeness to reality contained within this fiction are just that-- fiction. But hey, we can still dream, can't we??

Sorry for the extremely long delay in posting more to the story. ^^; I've been ~~lazy~~ busy. So as an apology you get two chapters at once!

Chapter One
Chapter Two

(Chapter Two re-cap: “You can’t what, Tsukasa?! Let me be the one to tell you what you can’t do!” Zero shouted, “You can’t just take back what you said. You can’t confess that you have feelings for me and take it back. Not when you know the way I feel about you!”

Zero’s shouting and anger was backing Tsukasa into a corner.

“I was drunk! You know that! You may have feelings for me, but I don’t have any for you, Zero-kun!”

Zero grabbed Tsukasa’s wrists and pushed him violently against the wall. “Fine.” he growled. “Then I’ll MAKE you love me!”)

*~~~*

“Zero… Stop! Let me go!”

Zero gave no reply as Tsukasa struggled to break free of his tight grasp. He leaned in, pressing his body harder against Tsukasa’s, completely pinning him against the wall. He pressed his right knee in between Tsukasa’s legs, prying them apart.

“S… Stop!”

“No.” Zero muttered into the other man’s ear. He pressed his pelvis into Tsukasa’s leg. “You feel that? That’s for you.” He went to kiss Tsukasa, but Tsukasa had turned his head away, giving Zero his cheek. Zero looked crazed as he bound Tsukasa’s wrists together with one hand. His free hand traveled down Tsukasa’s chest, leaving a ripple where Zero’s fingers had trailed down the front of the cotton fabric. His cold fingers ached to feel the warmth of Tsukasa’s smooth, pale skin. “All for you.” His hand slid underneath the thin weaving of the shirt and up the drummer’s bare chest.

“No Zero! Stop!” Tsukasa struggled against the other man’s body, but to no avail, he was pinned tightly against the plain white plaster wall. He winced as Zero’s hand traveled further up his shirt, cringing at the harsh new motions Zero’s hands were inflicting upon his nipples. “I don’t want this!” he cried out.

Zero ignored Tsukasa’s plea as he leaned in and kissed the nape of Tsukasa’s neck. The flesh was warm and soft and tasted of Tsukasa’s cologne. Zero licked the fragranced skin and bit his neck in a vampire-like manner; possessive, leaving his mark on the drummer. His hand slid down Tsukasa’s chest, pausing to circle his navel; then it continued down to the belt around his black jeans. The buckle was easy to undo; it fell to the ground with a thud as Zero clumsily undid Tsukasa’s pants with one hand.

“Zero… stop it! What the hell is wrong with you?! Let me go!” Tsukasa shrieked, on the verge of tears.

Zero said nothing. He wasted no time; after getting the pants undone, his hand immediately sought out the elastic waistband of his boxers.

As Zero’s hand connected with his bare flesh, Tsukasa jerked forward, throwing Zero off balance and stumbling back a few steps. It was just enough steps back that Tsukasa could run; and he did.

Or at least he tried to.

Zero reached out in attempt to grab Tsukasa’s arm, but only succeeded in catching his belt loop. Tsukasa was stopped mid stride as the bassist both pulled back and was pulled forward by the force of Tsukasa’s movement. Zero was jerked forward into Tsukasa, knocking him down onto the ground.

“You can’t run from me anymore, Tsukasa. I won’t let you!”
Tsukasa struggled to get Zero off of him. Why is he doing this?! Tsukasa finally got a hand free and slapped Zero across the face, knocking him backwards instantly.

Zero reached his right hand up to his cheek, rather shocked, and touched his now reddened skin lightly. It was like he had been slapped out of a daze. He looked at Tsukasa who was sitting up in a fluster, tears streaming down his face.

As he stared at Tsukasa, a man whom he had never seen cry about anything before, the realization of what he almost did… what he would have done… set in. All Zero could do was grab his shoes and run out the door. He never wanted to make Tsukasa cry.

*~~~*

Hizumi flipped on the power to his Play Station 2 and thumb through his stack of video games. It was dark, raining, and Karyu still hadn’t called him back even though he had left him several voice mails. Hizumi sighed. He wasn’t really in the mood to play video games, but he wasn’t tired and there was nothing else to do when suddenly his phone rang.

It’s about time. Hizumi jogged over to his cell phone, but it wasn’t Karyu’s number that appeared across the screen.

“Moshi moshi?” Hizumi said answering the phone. All he heard was silence. “…Zero-kun?”

“…buzz me in. I need to talk to you.” Zero hung up the phone before Hizumi could reply.

Hizumi pressed the button that gave admittance to the building and walked outside his apartment to the elevator door to greet his band mate. Something was wrong. Whenever Zero needed to talk to someone, something was wrong.

When the elevator doors parted, Hizumi was startled at the site he saw. Zero was soaking wet from head to toe, his eyes blood shot as if he had been crying, and the left side of his face was slightly red and swollen. Zero stepped out of the elevator silently and walked next to Hizumi down the hallway and into his apartment wordlessly.

Hizumi went into his linen closet and retrieved a towel for Zero. He grabbed a chair and handed the towel to Zero after he had removed his wet shoes at the door.

“Zero-—“

“I did something horrible to Tsukasa.” Zero blurted out. “I… I didn’t mean to… I was just so frustrated I… it…” he stammered.

“Wait, slow down, it’s alright… what did you do to him?” Hizumi asked as he pulled up another chair and sat down next to Zero. He reached out and grabbed Zero’s hands that were nervously kneading each other. “Tell me, what happened?”

“I… I almost raped him.”

*~~~*

“Ne, did I really nap that long? Ah! I was supposed to call Hizu-kun over three hours ago!” Karyu sat upright in his bed, staring at the clock. He flipped back the black satin covers and climbed out of bed. “He’s going to think I’m ignoring him again.” Karyu sighed as he picked up his cell phone. Three missed calls from him. Crap. Karyu grabbed his keys and shuffled to the front door. He slid on his shoes and the slam of his door resounded after he had left.

*~~~*

“Wait… what?” Hizumi was confused and surprised.. He had no idea that Zero had feelings for men, let alone Tsukasa. “You… like Tsukasa?”

Zero hesitated. “I do.”

“Does he know this?”

“He does now, obviously.”

“Does anyone else know about this?”

“No, but maybe I should start from the begin---“

Zero was cut off by a loud knock at Hizumi’s door. Zero jumped. Oh god, what if it’s Tsukasa coming to talk to Hizumi like I am?

Hizumi saw the panic stricken loon on Zero’s face. “I’ll take care of it.” He got up and opened the door halfway.

“I'm so sorry, Hizu-kun, I fell asleep. When I woke, I saw you called so I just headed over. Your neighbor was coming in the building just as I got here,” rattled off Karyu.

“Oh. It’s okay.”

Karyu’s brow furrowed. This definitely wasn’t the reaction he had expected. Normally, Hizumi would shove him or something for making him wait. Karyu looked down at the floor and saw wet shoes sitting inside the doorway. Those are Zero’s shoes…

“Are you busy or something?” Karyu questioned, looking up from the ground. He wanted to ask about Zero’s shoes being there, but he didn’t want to make Hizumi mad.

“Yeah. I’ll just see you tomorrow at the live.”

“Oh. Okay. See you then.” Karyu turned to leave, but then decided that he didn’t care if asking why Zero was there made Hizumi mad. He turned back to ask, but Hizumi had already shut the door. Maybe some questions are better left unanswered.

*~~~*

Hizumi walked back over to Zero and sat down. “It’s okay, now start from the beginning.”

“Etto… Zero sighed. “I’ve had, well, I guess you could call it a crush, on Tsukasa for the past six months. I mean, I’ve always liked him, but recently I’ve come to understand that there’s a difference in the way I like him. It’s no longer like; it’s love. I love everything about him.” Zero paused as he stared at the ground. “I could never tell him that. I didn’t want to seem, well, weird. I never thought that Tsukasa would or even could ever feel the same way about me, but…” Zero paused to look at Hizumi. He wanted to know what Hizumi was thinking; if he was disgusted; but he didn’t need to ask. Hizumi’s face was full of concern.

“Yes? Continue, I want to help you.”

“The other night when we were at Tsukasa’s we all left together, remember?”

Hizumi paused, remembering. “Yes.” How could I forget that night?

“Well, I realized I had left my keys sitting on the table at Tsukasa’s, so I went back to get them. Tsukasa wound up inviting me in for more drinks and started to tell me about this new idea he had for a song. We kept drinking and laughing; we were having a really good time when he suddenly asked me why I didn’t have a girlfriend.”

”Ne, Zero-kun, why don’t you have a girlfriend? You’re so handsome.” Tsukasa said, smiling.

Zero blushed. “Well, girls like me sure enough, but none of them love me for who I am.”

Zero paused and looked at Hizumi.

“Go on,” nodded Hizumi.

Tsukasa stopped smiling and stared into Zero’s eyes. “I love you for who you are.”

Zero’s eyes grew wide. “You… have feelings for me?”

Tsukasa nodded and blushed.

Zero blinked. It was now or never. “I… have feelings for you too, Tsukasa-kun.”

“After I said that, he just sat there on the couch next to me and smiled. It was like a great weight had been lifted off my chest.”

“What happened after that?”

“He leaned over without saying anything and…” Zero blushed, “…he kissed me.” Zero saw Hizumi’s eyes widen. “and um…” Zero fidgeted in the chair playing with a damp braid. This was awkward to say.

“One thing… um… led to another…?” Hizumi questioned, filling in the blank for Zero.

Zero blushed, “Yes.”

Tsukasa’s hands grasped the back of Zero’s head and pushed their lips together harder, driving more passion into the lip lock. Zero responded by gliding his hands up Tsukasa’s shirt, pulling the fabric up as far as it would go. Zero’s tongue explored the depths of Tsukasa’s mouth, massaging his tongue vigorously. Tsukasa let a small groan escape into Zero’s mouth. It tasted of the red wine that the two men had been drinking. The passionate kiss broke with a gasp for air. Tsukasa raised his arms above his head and allowed Zero to pull his shirt off over his head. Zero straddled Tsukasa on the couch to get better leverage to remove the cotton t-shirt that was in his way. Tsukasa clasped his hands together around the bassist’s neck as Zero gently sucked on his now exposed nipples. He trailed kisses down Tsukasa’s abs to his navel, pausing to dip the tip of his tongue into the drummer’s navel, causing him to shudder.

“Things were fine up until then...” Zero looked at Hizumi. The awkwardness in telling him about this had passed. “…but as soon as I reached for his belt, he got fidgety.”

Zero grabbed the excess length of the black leather belt that was around the waist of Tsukasa’s pants. As he proceeded to undo the buckle, Tsukasa got fidgety. Zero made no haste in reaching for the snap that held the pants closed together, but Tsukasa reached down and grabbed Zero’s hands, stopping them.

“I… I can’t do this, Zero-kun. I’m sorry.”

Zero stared at Tsukasa. Had he done something wrong?

“I… I’m sorry Zero-kun, it has nothing to do with you… it’s just… I can’t love you. I’m so sorry Zero… I … let’s just forget this happened.” Tsukasa nudged Zero off of him. “I think I’ve had a bit too much to drink.”

“He got up and walked away from me. I was so shocked that I couldn’t say anything to him. I just got my stuff and left.” Zero had tears streaming down his face. “He just… rejected me. Just like that.”

Hizumi didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to console him. He had never seen anyone but Karyu cry before.

“Then today I… I just couldn’t accept it. So I went to Tsukasa’s to talk, but I lost control of myself. It was like I became a different person. I tried to force myself on him. I… I just wanted to be loved by him. I never meant to…” silent tears fell from Zero’s eyes. “He tried to run, but I caught him and he back handed me.” Zero pointed to his cheek. “This… this isn’t enough punishment for what I did to him. How could I ever ask him for forgiveness?” Zero buried his face in his hands.

Hizumi did something he rarely did, even with Karyu. He embraced his band mate in a hug. As Hizumi hugged Zero tightly, he murmured in Zero’s ear, “Stay here tonight. I’ll get you extra clothes and a blanket.”

Zero glanced at his friend with a thankful gaze. He was dreading seeing Tsukasa at their concert tomorrow night and was thankful for Hizumi’s kindness. He closed his eyes and cried silently on Hizumi’s shoulder.

*~~~*

Chapter Four

*~~~*

Tsukasa and Karyu stood in the dressing room, ready to go and waiting for their band mates to arrive. Both men looked tired and worn out, but neither asked each other why. The sound of the door opening cut through the deafening silence of the room and in walked Hizumi and Zero.

Karyu felt a pit form in his stomach. They came together?

“Ohayoo. Sorry we’re a little late, Tsukasa-kun,” said Hizumi.

Tsukasa muttered a reply that was incoherent as he turned for one last look in the mirror before show time. A staff member popped his head in the dressing room to tell them it was time. As they headed toward the door, Tsukasa paused without turning around. “Don’t let the fans down. Let’s make this performance energetic even if we don’t have energy ourselves.” With that, he continued walking and led the band out onstage.

*~~~*

Most of the concert had gone fine, their stage presence was energetic; fueled by the energy the fans emanated; but Karyu had faltered during MaVERiCK. And there was a reason for that.

During the song, Hizumi had looked over at Zero whose expression showed worry. Zero wasn’t moving around stage, he wasn’t flirting with the crowd; he wasn’t doing anything that he normally did. Hizumi frowned for a moment. He needed to get Zero to focus back on his stage presence. Hizumi waltzed over to Zero while singing and put his arm around the bass player’s neck. Zero smiled as Hizumi leaned his head in and rested it on his shoulder, looking Zero in the eye. Hizumi paused in singing and bit Zero’s neck playfully, like a vampire, causing the crowd to scream wildly. All Karyu could do was stand there and stare.

They got through the concert and went backstage while the crowd chanted for an encore. D’espairsRay was known for making their fans wait for a stunning encore, so they took their time. Hizumi had wandered off to talk with Zero while Karyu has immediately headed for the bathroom.

Karyu stared in the mirror. “I’m just over reacting. Zero is usually Hizumi’s stage partner anyway.” But he hasn’t done any fan service like that since we’ve been together… Karyu sighed heavily, trying to push the jealousy out of his mind. He looked in the mirror one last timed and fluffed his hair before heading out the door. “It’s just a stage show.”

*~~~*

When Karyu returned backstage, only Tsukasa was there, getting some water. Karyu walked over to him and picked up a bottle of water just as a stage crew member came up to Tsukasa and told him that they’d be on for encore in five minutes. As the crew member disappeared behind the curtain, Hizumi walked in with Zero and stood off to the side talking with him.

“Have you talked to Tsukasa at all yet?” Hizumi asked.

“No. I don’t even know what to say… or where to begin.” Zero looked over at Tsukasa who had his back turned to him. He was having some sort of conversation with Karyu. Zero turned back to Hizumi. “Oh, Hizumi-kun, you smudged your makeup down your face.”

“Eh?” Hizumi reached up to his cheek. “Where?”

“Right here…”

Tsukasa looked down at his costume. “You missed a chord in MaVERiCK.”

“Yeah, I know,” Karyu started as he looked around, “I just lost my…” His voice trailed off as he stared angrily past Tsukasa.

“Your…?” Tsukasa looked up and saw Karyu staring behind him. He followed his gaze and turned around to see Zero caressing Hizumi’s face, looking as though he was about to kiss him.

Karyu dropped his open water bottle on the ground creating a sound that caught Zero and Hizumi’s attention. He stared intensely at Zero.

What the… oh god… Tsukasa’s looking too… I wonder… Zero thought, staring back at Karyu.

Karyu walked briskly up to Zero and drew back his fist.

…did Tsukasa tell him what I did?

There was a sickening crack as Karyu’s fist connected with Zero’s face. Zero flew backwards and landed on the ground.

…I guess… he did… That was the last thought that ran through Zero’s mind before he blacked out.

For the first time ever, there would be no encore.

*~~~*

Forbidden - Chapter Two

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 03:06:21 GMT

Title: Forbidden
Author: Israfael
Band: D'espairsRay
Genre: Yaoi, Drama
Pairings: Hizumi x Karyu, Zero x Tsukasa?
Rating NC-17 (Sexual Situations, Graphic Violence)
Disclaimer I do not own D'espairsRay, nor do I own the rights to anything affiliated with them. All and any likeness to reality contained within this fiction are just that-- fiction. But hey, we can still dream, can't we??

*~~~*

Hizumi fumbled with his keys, breathing heavily as Karyu tenderly sucked on the nape of his neck. They were standing in the darkened hallway, outside of his apartment door and Karyu’s hands were moving down the outline of Hizumi’s body, his fingertips tracing the warm surface. Karyu pressed his torso against Hizumi’s back, moving his hands around to Hizumi’s front, entwining his fingers with the bottom of the vocalist’s shirt. Hizumi dropped his keys from his hands and pressed his palms against his door as Karyu’s hands ventured upwards, underneath Hizumi’s shirt. Karyu leaned his head down, pressing his body harder against Hizumi.

“I want you,” Karyu whispered in his ear, “Now.” He traced his tongue along the smooth skin in the crevice behind Hizumi’s ear.

Chills ran up Hizumi’s spine. He could feel his band mate’s endowment growing harder, pressing into his lower back. He leaned his head back onto Karyu’s shoulder as the guitarist’s left hand remained under his shirt on his chest, toying with his nipples. His right hand slid down Hizumi’s abs, gliding his hand under the large silver belt buckle and down into the front of Hizumi’s pants. Hizumi closed his eyes and moaned. “So take me.”

Karyu struggled to undo the silver belt buckle one handed. He grinned, silently applauding himself as Hizumi’s belt thudded against the hallway floor. The hallway floor? Karyu hesitated as he realized they were still outside Hizumi’s apartment door on the top floor of the building.

As if Hizumi understood what Karyu’s pause was, he commanded aggressively, “Right here.”

Karyu smiled and nodded, even though Hizumi couldn’t see him. He was happy. This was the first time any part of their relationship had been remotely public. Even their band mates knew nothing of their involvement. But what a public display this is, Karyu thought as he undid Hizumi’s pants, letting them fall to the ground at his ankles. He undid the zipper on his own pants and intertwined his fingers with Hizumi’s, pressing both their hands against the door. Karyu kissed Hizumi’s neck as he entered him. It wasn’t the first, nor the tenth time the two had made love. Hizumi let out a hushed cry as Karyu bit his neck, burying both his teeth and his erection deep into Hizumi’s flesh. Hizumi’s body frame was much smaller than Karyu’s; even his shadow was eaten by the larger man’s under the dark apartment doorway.

Hizumi had always complained to the landlord about the broken light fixture outside his apartment because he could never see to get his key in the door, but for the first time, Hizumi was glad about the lack of light. Standing vulnerable in the hallway where someone could easily see turned him on.

A low growl resounded deep from Karyu’s throat as Hizumi squeezed his hand and dug his nails into Karyu’s fingers.

“Harder!” he demanded, burying his nails deeper into the guitarist’s skin.

Karyu winced at the pain that shot through his fingers and up his arms. He moved his body rhythmically against Hizumi’s, thrusting harder and deeper each time their bodies met.

Hizumi released his grasp on Karyu’s hands and Karyu wrapped his right arm around the smaller man’s ribcage. He ran his left hand down Hizumi’s stomach and found his erection, caressing it. Hizumi gasped as Karyu’s grip grew tighter, his strokes growing more aggressive.

“Wait for me.” He whispered breathlessly into Hizumi’s ear.

Hizumi could only moan in reply. Karyu penetrated Hizumi deeply, one last time before they both cried out in unison, releasing at the same time. Karyu wrapped his arms tightly around Hizumi and kissed his jawbone.

“Let’s go inside, Hizu-kun.”

*~~~*

Practice the next day was interesting. They had a concert to give tomorrow and were holding a practice to work out some minor details but things weren’t going smoothly. Tsukasa asked Karyu why had gashes on his hands, but when he went to answer Hizumi hushed him by changing the subject. Hizumi was overly tired, Tsukasa seemed to be avoiding Zero, and Zero… if looks could kill, Tsukasa would have been impaled on 8 feet long spears the way Zero stared at him.

Hizumi flopped down on the floor of the practice studio. “Maybe we should just call it quits today.”

“No.” came Tsukasa’s firm reply. “We have to get this song down.”

Hizumi frowned as Tsukasa walked over to his drum set. “If we’re going to play one of our new songs, it has to be whole hearted, “Forbidden” can’t be played half-assed.”

Just as Tsukasa finished his sentence, there was a loud slam as Zero stormed out.

“Jesus, what the hell’s his problem today?” Karyu questioned, looking up at Tsukasa and Hizumi. Hizumi shrugged while Tsukasa just stood there.

Staring at the door Zero had stormed out of, he said nothing.

*~~~*

Tsukasa had ended practice since they obviously couldn’t fine-tune the song without Zero. Tsukasa had taken a cab back to his apartment after putting away all of the practice equipment since it was raining. The ride home seemed extra long today, as all Tsukasa could think of was Zero. Maybe I should go to his place and apologize… but I’m not sure what good that’ll do if any… The cab finally pulled up to Tsukasa’s building. “Ano… excuse me, do you think you could take me to--- “ it was then Tsukasa noticed Zero standing in the rain outside the cab door. “Never mind.” Tsukasa paid the driver and got out of the car. Silently Zero followed him up to the building and up into his apartment. “Zero-kun, I---“

“Shut up. Just shut up.” The harsh tone in Zero’s voice made him wince. “Last night, when I came back… how could you, Tsukasa-kun? How could you?!”

“You know my father’s trying to get me to marry Michihiro, I can’t---“

“You can’t what, Tsukasa?! Let me be the one to tell you what you can’t do!” Zero shouted, “You can’t just take back what you said. You can’t confess that you have feelings for me and take it back. Not when you know the way I feel about you!”

Zero’s shouting and anger was backing Tsukasa into a corner.

“I was drunk! You know that! You may have feelings for me, but I don’t have any for you, Zero-kun!”

Zero grabbed Tsukasa’s wrists and pushed him violently against the wall. “Fine.” he growled. “Then I’ll MAKE you love me!”

*~~~*

Forbidden

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 04:38:47 GMT

Title: Forbidden
Author: Israfael
Band: D'espairsRay
Genre: Yaoi, Drama
Pairings: You'll see :3
Rating NC-17 (Sexual Situations, Graphic Violence)
Disclaimer I do not own D'espairsRay, nor do I own the rights to anything affiliated with them. All and any likeness to reality contained within this fiction are just that-- fiction. But hey, we can still dream, can't we??

*~~~*

Tsukasa doodled a long stray black line along a yellowed sheet of parchment paper. As much as he wanted to draw, the only thing the drummer could draw was a blank. He couldn't remmember the last time the band had off. He sighed heavily. As much as he complained about never having enough time to do what he wanted to, when it came down to having the time, it was usually spent doodling idly, trying to think of something to do.

He tapped his ink pen on the surface of the brown desk contemplating what to do when the ding of his doorbell sounded. Startled, Tsukasa hit the pen on the desk rather hard, launching it through the air at the white wall, leaving a black streak down it as it landed on the desk.

"Jesus..." he stood abruptly and walked to the door of his apartment.

"Delivery for Tsukasa-san!" called a deep voice from the other side of the door. It was a voice Tsukasa recognized.

"What do you want, Zero-kun, it's our day off---" he began as he opened the door. Much to his surprise, it was Karyu standing in his doorway. "Oh, Karyu-kun, it's you,"

"Ne, Tsukasa-kun, let me in, I'm tired of standing!" Karyu said, pouting as he poked the drummer's forearm that was stretched across the doorway like a blockade.

"Yeah, let us in!" came the same deep voice as before. Tsukasa looked confused as Zero and Hizumi peered between Karyu and the door frame at him.

"Oh! You're both here too?"

Hizumi nodded, "Hai, it's just you didn't see us because Karyu-kun is such a giant."

Tsukasa and Zero laughed while Karyu shot Hizumi a skeptical look.

"I could sit on Zero-kun's shoulders and still be shorter than him!"

Karyu punched Hizumi's arm playfully. "You're just jealous, Hizu-kun."

Tsukasa chuckled as he motioned for his bandmates to enter his apartment.

"How so?" questioned Hizumi, setting his shoes down in the corner closest to the door.

"Because you're so small all over. Challenged vertically and in pleasing women." Karyu retorted, smiling slyly as Tsukasa and Zero errupted into laughter. They all knew Hizumi hated having his small stature made fun of.

"Oh? Who said you were so endowed and good with women?" Hizumi snorted, walking into the living room.

"They did. Because I am." Karyu sat down on the blue couch.

"Sure..."

Karyu's sly grin spread across his face as he arched his left eyebrow. He crossed his legs. "Want proof?" Karyu placed the tip of his left index finger between his teeth and stared at Hizumi seductively.

Hizumi shoved Karyu, knocking him over into Zero who had just sat down next to him. "...pervert..." he muttered, turning his head so noone would see his slightly flushed cheeks.

Karyu's head landed in Zero's lap. "Or maybe you, Zero-kun?" Karyu laughed as the bassist shoved him back the other way.

"As if." Zero rolled his eyes, turning to face Tsukasa. "Anyway, we're all here because we don't know what to do with ourselves. You haven't agreed on a day off in so long that we've forgotten what it's like to not be around eachother!"

Tsukasa smiled. "So in other words, you'd rather make this a do something fun with your band night than a not see them at all night?"

Zero nodded. "Besides, from the look of your paper and wall over there, looks like you weren't doing much of anything either,"

Tsukasa laughed. "You guys want some diner? I was just about to order some."

Karyu looked up from pulling the split ends in his hair apart. "Only if you're paying!" he replied, smiling.

Alright," Tsukasa chuckled, picking up the phone to order, "Alright."

*~~~*

Six hours, tons of food, booze and four games of Jenga later, they were all on Tsukasa's living room floor in laughter. Zero had accidentally knocked down the Jenga tower out of turn when he laughed so hard he hit the table because Hizumi had tripped over his own two feet and fallen into a plant when he was coming out of the bathroom.

"Ano..." started Zero, wiping the tears of laughter from the corner of his eyes, "it's late, so on that note, thank you for your hospitality, I'll see you at practice tomorrow!" he stood up and turned toward Karyu and Hizumi. "You fools coming?"

"Hai, thank you Tsukasa-kun!" Karyu climbed to his feet.

"Sure, I'll show you all to the door," Tsukasa stood and picked up one of the Jenga pieces that had fallen into his lap and set it on the table.

Hizumi was already at the door putting his shoes on. "Arigatou, and take care, Tsukasa-kun."

After they had left, Tsukasa sighed. He finally knew what he wanted to draw but was too tired to draw it.

*~~~*

"Tsukasa-kun seemed happier today. I'm glad we went to see him," said Zero as they walked down the sidewalk outside of Tsukasa's apartment in the dark.

"Yeah, me too," replied Karyu, looking up at the orange street lights. "I'm not sure what he's been so down about, but I'm glad we could do something for him,"

"Yeah," replied Hizumi, "Hey Zero-kun, this is your street, ne?"

"Hai. I'll see you guys tomorrow, nite!" Zero replied, turning down the darkened street towards his apartment.

The other two men continued down the road. They all lived within a mile of eachother, convenient for practice and for just getting together.

"Hey Hizu-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"You never said anything about why you think Tsukasa's been acting weird."

Hizumi just looked down and stared at the ground. "I know."

"It's because he told you not to say anything, right? It has to do with his father again, doesn't it?"

"It's hard to get anything by you, isn't it? You may act stupid sometimes... but nothing ever gets past you." he replied, glancing at the guitarist.

Karyu laughed. "I figured as much,"

Hizumi looked up at the sky as they neared the alley that was right before his appartment. "Do you really think I'm that small and bad with women?"

Karyu stopped and grabbed the vocalist's wrist, wielding him around. Karyu backed Hizumi into the alley against the brick apartment building. "As long as I didn't say you were bad with men, why should you care?" He leaned down and kissed Hizumi deeply.

Hizumi wrapped his arms around Karyu's neck and parted his lips, enriching the kiss as his soft tounge met the rough movements of the other man's sparring tounge.

"You know how I feel about you, Hizu-kun." he whispered, between breaths.

"Just like you know you're the only one I let call me Hizu-kun." Hizumi replied, smiling. He closed his eyes as Karyu's arms enraptured him, creating yet another rather passionate kiss.

Eternal Goodbye

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 08:50:33 GMT

Title: Eternal Goodbye (A One Shot Fic)
Jrockers: Gackt and Hyde
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: R~NC-17
Year Written: 2004
Disclaimer: I do not own Gackt or Hyde nor do I own the rights to anything affiliated with them. All contents of this fanfic are just that--- fiction. Any and all resemblences to real life may or may not have happened, but being the rabid fan girl I am, I can still dream of the hott steamy GakuHai man secks.
*NOTES* This fan fic is based partially off of Gackt's whole moon concept and invovles the movie, Moon Child. If you haven't seen the movie, it doesn't matter, it'll still make sense anyway. (Note to self: This fan fic needs re-buffing majorly ^^;)

*~~~~~*

Hyde arrived late. He was always late whenever he was headed somewhere he had never been before, but today he was exceptionally late.

Hyde rushed up to the rather large white house's front door, which was left wide open so that newly arriving guests could just walk in. Hyde stepped into the house, looking around and taking in his surroundings, almost forgetting to remove his worn brown leather shoes at the door.

"Hyde!" called a framiliar voice from the next room over.

Hyde briskly walked over the sandy brown carpeting to the adjoining room. "Takeda-kun! Happy Birthday!" Hyde reached forward and lightly hugged his friend. "Your new house is rather large, ne?"

Takeda chuckled. "You got lost, didn't you? No matter how easy the directions are, you always get lost,"

Hyde blushed. "Well, first I got lost, so I picked up a map and as I was reading the map I got into an accident..." (1)

Takeda's chuckle resounded through the room. "Haido-kun, you really suck at driving!"

"Aww, shut up!" Hyde pushed Takeda lightly. "Sooo... is this the room the party is in?"

"Ah, yes, you have to meet the rest of my frie---"
"TAKEDAAAA! CAN YOU COME HERE PLEASE??" Takeda was cut off by his wife's rather loud high pitched voice.
"Coming!" he replied, "sumimasen, Haido-kun, but there's a bar right there, just tell the server what you would like, I'll be back in a bit," with that, Takeda rushed off to go aide his wife.

Well this certainly is interesting. Hyde thought, walking towards the bar counter. Takeda really did put a bar in his new house... I mean, he told me he was going to but I thought he was joking Hyde pulled out a large red stool from under the counter and sat down.

"What'll it be?" asked the server.

"Bourbon. 3 ice cubes."

"Good choice," sounded a soft yet firm deep voice. Hyde looked to his right and saw a man sitting there with bleach blonde hair, much like his own. The man had on lightly tinted sunglasses, grey dress pants, and a black satin button down shirt. A spiked dagger bracelet dangled at his left wrist as if each spike were suspended mid air. Hyde glanced at the drink in the strangers manly, yet femine hands.

"Bourbon as well, I see." Hyde replied.

The stranger gave a small smile as he set his drink down. He raised his right hand to his sunglasses and slowly pulled them off as he closed his eyes to shield them from the harsh flouressent lighting. He set the glasses down, opened his eyes and turned to face Hyde with his hand outstretched. "Camui Gackt. Hajimemashite," (2)

Hyde stared into the intensity of Gackt's frigid blue contacts. Without realizing it, he extended his hand and shook Gackt's for what seemed like an eternity. "uhh... ano.. pleasures all mine,"

The server set down Hyde's drink on a napkin. "Arigatou," way to completely forget what to say, Hyde. This guy probably thinks you're a total putz for staring like that and not letting go of his hand Hyde scolded himself.

"It is Haido-san, right?" Gackt asked casually, getting up from his stool.

Hyde looked up from staring at his drink. Hyde had seen Gackt before, hell, who hasn't, but he had never seen him so close before. He was quite tall and rather beautiful, Hyde thought.

"Ohhh... gomen, I completely forgot to introduce myself!" Hyde cursed himself under his breath.

Gackt chuckled. "That's alright, I couldn't help but over hear yours and Takeda's conversation. I'm glad you're alright."

Hyde blushed. "Yeah... Takeda's right, I do suck at driving. When I get lost, I'm rather reckless."

Gackt smiled. "we share common grounds then, I drive recklessly all the time," Gackt set his drink down next to Hyde and pulled out the red pleatted stool next to Hyde's at the bar. "Mind if I sit next to you?"

Hyde shook his head no.

Gackt sat down lightly on the chair, reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Smoke?"

"Sure. Thanks."

Gackt opened his lighter and extended the lit flame out to Hyde lighting his cigarette, then lighting his own. He took a drag and blew the smoke into the air.

"I'm glad you came today, Haido-san," Gackt said, looking straight ahead. "I had no idea you were friends with Takeda-kun until last week when he told me you were coming."

Hyde looked surprised. Why would Takeda-kun tell him I was coming? Did he ask? He did kinda seem like he was expecting me, sitting there by himself...

"I know this may sound awkward, but I'm making a movie... and the only person I can see playing the lead is you"

Hyde's eyes widened even more. Him? Movie? Lead?

Gackt turned to face hyde with his frigid blue eyes staring deeply into Hyde's.

"I can envision only you" he said with a soft, raspy voice.

Hyde blushed. He was beyond flattered. Flattered and slightly turned on by Gackt's hott breath muttering those words. only you... only you... it echoed in his head over and over again.

"I... uh..." Hyde was at a loss for words. "Uh, I'll need to see the script." (3)

____________
Author Note: (1)True story. On Hyde's way to his friends birthday party he got lost and in a car accident and showed up an hour late. The friends name, however, I'm not sure.
(2)True story. Hyde and Gackt honestly first met at the same birthday party Hyde was late to because he was in an accident. The guy who's birthday it was was friends with both of them.
(3)True story. The whole reason Gackt went to the party was because he knew Hyde would be there, and he wanted to talk to him about doing Moon Child with him, even though they had never met or spoken prior to that date. Hyde agreed to look over the script and decide after reading it. (Obviously, he said yes.)
------------

*~~~~~*

"Cut! Do it again! Damnit Gackt! Look more convincing!" the director's voice sounded angrily through the mega-phone. It was only 10 am and they were already on the sixth take.

Over the past month of filming, they had done so many retakes due to both the director and Gackt being unhappy with them.

"You know what? Let's just call it a wrap for today," sighed the frustrated director. "Tomorrow we'll start fresh. Everyone get your asses home and rehearse."

Hyde walked over to the wardrobe table and began to change out of costume when Gackt suddenly apeared out of no where. Gackt waited for Hyde to finish buttoning his shirt before reaching out and hugging him.

"We're filming the bad dream scene tomorrow too. Do you think you're prepared for it?" Gackt asked, as their embrace broke.

"Not quite," replied Hyde, running a comb through his hair. should I ask to rehearse with him? "What about you?"

"Me either" he answered, trying to change his shirt. "Shit..."

"What's wrong?" Hyde questioned, tilting his head as he watched Gackt struggle to get his shirt off.

"One of my braids... it's caught in a button,"

Hyde giggled. "Well, thats what you get for having a braided mullet!" Hyde walked over to Gackt and freed the braid for him.

"Hey, you said you like my hair... and it's not a mullet!"

Hyde chuckled some more as he reached up and tousled Gackt's hair. "I do. Does my opinion really matter that much?"

Gackt grabbed Hyde's wrist and stared at him with intensity. "It means the world to me."

Chills ran down Hyde's spine. That voice. That raspy desire filled voice. The voice that made Hyde accept the role offer. It was the second time Hyde heard that voice, and it stirred a passion that was deep inside Hyde. He remembered falling asleep with Megumi wrapped in his arms but dreaming that it was he wrapped in Gackts. Ohhhh, Gacchan! He remembered the moans he cried out, the forbidden desire, and how he woke up in a sweat and a wet spot. oh god... I must be twelve shades of red! He can't see my face like this! Hyde quickly turned his head away.

"Since we're both not prepared for the scene tomorrow, would you like to work on it?" questioned Gackt, breaking the odd silence that Hyde brought upon himself.

"Oh... sure," Hyde snapped back to reality. He sliped on his shoes and grabbed his keys and cell phone.

"Your house or mine?"

Hyde turned to face Gackt. He tilted his head and smiled. "Gacchan's house!"(4) With that he turned and walked away, with a small, but noticeable bounce in his step.

Gackt's brow furrowed. "Gacchan?" Now it was he who titled his head. It was very informal. Informal and friendly. But apparently it was Hyde's new nickname for him, and he loved it.

______________
Author's Note: (4)True story. Gackt and Hyde wanted to practice lines and when Gackt asked who's house, Hyde replied "Gacchan's house!" Gackt was weirded out by the nickname, as no one had ever given him a nickname before, but he liked it and it stuck.
--------------

*~~~~~*

Being late as always, Hyde showed up 35 minutes past the time he was supposed to. Gackt ushered him inside his home. "Your house was so hard to find, being off the beach and all,"

Gackt chuckled. "Hard to find on purpose. Please, make yourself comfortable," he said as he showed Hyde over to a large, black leather couch.

Hyde sat down and looked around the room. It was beautiful, a large marble-lined fireplace was located on the far wall. The carpet was a medium grey color that blended the couch well with the marble. On top of the mantel piece above the fire place were a bunch of pictures of Gackt's family and his past and present bandmates. As Hyde looked around the room, he saw a few more pictures hanging on the walls before his eyes fell on the picture of Gackt and Hyde that was taken on the Moon Child set. Hyde smiled at this as Gackt walked back into the room.

"Bourbon. 3 ice cubes." Gackt smiled as he handed Hyde his drink.

"You remembered?" asked Hyde, glancing up at Gackt.

"Of course." Gackt walked around the table and sat down next to Hyde. "You know, I was thinking, we should do a song for the movie." He looked at Hyde for his response.

Hyde thought for a moment. "I agree. I mean, we are both musicians after all. It would be kind of stupid not to. But what about?"

"Friendship? Love? I don't know," shrugged Gackt. "Something to go along with the movie line obviously."

Suddenly a timer bell went off and startled Hyde so badly he dropped what was left of his drink onto the carpet.

"Oh..." Hyde quickly bent down to pick up the mess just as Gackt reached down to help. Their paths collided and there was a loud smack and their heads butted. "Ow.." Hyde dropped the cup again. As both men went to pick it up again, Gackt's hand landed ontop of Hyde's. Instead of withdrawing his hand, Gackt's thumb tenderly caressed the top of Hyde's hand, causing Hyde to blush. He quickly picked up the cup, but it was too late, the small amount of bourbon had already seeped into the carpet. "Gomen, Gacchan..." Hyde apoplogized as he handed Gackt the glass, "Gomen..."

He called me 'Gacchan' again... Gackt thought. Gacchan... He envisioned Hyde whispering it to him, screaming it, moaning it... oh god... "It's alright," he said, rubbing his throbbing forehead. "I'll get some towels, and are you hungry? The timer was for some curry I was making."(5)

"Sure," said Hyde, looking up with a smile. "Curry sounds nice."

______________
Author's Note: (5) Yes, the infamous 4 day long to cook Gackt Curry. The curry he stirs while naked and reading a book X3 Hyde is oh so special...
--------------

*~~~~~*

Curry was filling. More filling than Hyde had thought. Here it was, only 5 pm and he was ready to sleep. He yawned as he sat on Gackt's bed, surrounded by musical staff paper. During their early dinner, or late lunch. which ever you'd care to call it, Hyde had a couple of chord ideas on guitar that he wanted to show Gackt, and now he was just waiting for Gackt to find his other Acoustic guitar that was somewhere in his closet. Hyde looked around Gackt's room. There was a large window on the opposite side of the bed as well as a sliding glass door that led out to the beach. Although the interior was pretty musch all leopard print,(6) the room was rather simplistic and plain, except for the crystal chandelir that hung in the center of the room and his signature Marcury and Venus electric guitars that rested on their stands on the floor. Hyde yawned again and leaned back. Gackt's bed was so comfy...

"Hey, I found my gui---" Gackt started as he emurged from his closet. He looked at his bed to see Hyde fast asleep, looking so peaceful.

he looks like a beautiful angel. The most beautiful angel with the most beautiful wings Gackt walked quietly over to his sleeping 'angel' and sat on his floor at the side of the tall bed. so pure, with lucious lips. Gackt stared at Hyde's lips. so lucious... one kiss couldn't hurt...

Gackt leaned in to kiss him, but something stopped him.

"Gacchan?"

Hyde had awoken.

"What are you doing?"

"I...I wanted to kiss you just then..."(7) Gackt replied, still staring at Hyde's lips.

"What?" Hyde sat up.

Gackt finally sanpped out of it. did I just say that out loud to him?? oh god... well, there's no turning back now.

"I wanted to kiss you." Gackt got up and walked over to his window.

"Oh. Uh..."

"You're beautiful, Hyde. So pure. Untainted." He turned around and stared deeply into Hyde's eyes.

ohhh... those frigid blue eyes...

"Whenever I'm around you, Hyde," Gackt started as he walked back towards the bed.

I feel so naked when he stares at me like this

"You bring out a passion in me,"

Oh god... I feel like I'm burning inside...

"A primal instinct,"

make me scream your name, Gacchan...

Gackt stopped as he stood straddling Hyde's legs that were dangling idly off the edge of Gackt's bed. He grabbed Hyde's chin and tilted it upwards. "You turn me into and animal."
______________
Author's Note: (6)Back in Malice Mizer days, Gackt once said in an interview his whole room was Leopard print. Somehow, I think that never changed, and it still is leopard print XD
(7) True story. Hyde fell asleep at Gackt's and Gackt was about to kiss him when Hyde awoke, and Gackt even said that Hyde looked so beautiful, he just wanted to kiss him then.
--------------

*~~~~~*

Gackt slid his thumb gently down Hyde's jaw bone, caressing it tenderly as he leaned down to meet Hyde's lips with his own. The kiss was sweet, but it wasn't returned. The last thing Gackt wanted was to force himself on Hyde, so he broke the kiss. damnit all to hell, why'd it have to happen like this? Gackt plopped himself down next to Hyde on the bed. Hyde just stared at him in shock. "Gomen, Hai---"

Gackt's apology was quickly hushed as it was Hyde this time who grabbed Gackt's chin and kissed him deeply. Gackt reached up and rested his hand on Hyde's jawbone, driving the kiss deeper, prying open Hyde's hungry mouth with his tounge. Hyde climbed over Gackt's legs and straddled him, grinding his body on him in rhythm to their sparring tounges. They broke the kiss, only for a moment, to pull Hyde's shirt over his head, as it was eaiser then undoing the buttons that lined the front of the white paneled shirt. Hyde raked his fingers through Gackt's hair as Gackt grabbed Hyde's bucking hips, putting more pressure on his groin causing him to moan. Hyde ripped open Gackt's shirt as Gackt gently reached his hand into Hyde's pants. Gackt flipped Hyde over onto his back and straddled him as he fondled the bulge that was growing in his pants. Gackt stared at him with those frigid blue eyes, leaned forward, and whispered to Hyde with exasperated breath,

"I bet you're harder for me than you've ever been for Megumi,"

Hyde shuddered at the raspy-ness in Gackt's voice. That hot breath drove him wild.

Gackt removed his hand from toying with Hyde's pants and trailed his fingertips lightly in twisted circular patterns down Hyde's chest. His fingertips were so cold, yet Hyde's body was so hot it was driving him crazy. Firey kisses trailed after the ice-cold fingers down Hyde's chest, delivering so many sensations at once he thought he might burst.

Gackt licked the nape of Hyde's neck. "Moan for me,"

Hyde struggled to keep it in, he was embarassed to tell Gackt what his body already was.

"I want to hear you moan for me," Gackt pinched his right nipple hard, causing Hyde to cry out. Gack grinned deviously as he reached down and undid Hyde's black jeans, pulling them down to expose Hyde's erection. Gackt nipped at Hyde's chest to hear him cry out, to then hear him gasp as the cold hands caressed his erection. The sensation was incredible. Gackt trailed his tounge back up to Hyde's neck, where he sucked on Hyde's sweet spot.

"Ohhh..." a moan escaped Hyde's lips as Gackt stopped kissing the nape of his neck. Another devious grin crossed his face as he leaned down and began kissing Hyde's erection, and slowly took it in his mouth, caressing the surface with his hott tounge. Hyde grabbed the messy light brown hair that he had helped Gackt dye, and tried to force him to take it all, but that only made Gackt more devious, going slower, prolonging Hyde's release. Hyde moaned as Gackt massaged his erection with his tounge. Hyde was ready to release, but Gackt wouldn't let him. As Gackt continued sucking, his hands wandered to Hyde's rear, and a finger prodded at his entrance.

"Ohhh!" Hyde gasped as Gackt inserted a finger. As he inserted a second finger, Hyde moaned even louder as Gackt finally let him release. Gackt licked his lips as he stared at Hyde.

He felt like prey, Gackt domineered him, knowing exactly what to do to get what reaction from Hyde's body. He shuddered everytime those frigid blue eyes looked at him with hunger.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" Gackt asked, leaning in to whisper in Hyde's ear. Hyde could only whimper. "Say it." Hyde looked away from Gackt. Gackt began to caress his cock with heavy then light strokes. "Say It."

Chills went up his spine. that voice... Hyde nodded as he reached to undo Gackt's pants. oh god I can't say it...

Gackt slapped Hyde's hands away and instead put his weight down on Hyde's abdomen and grinded himself onto Hyde's bulge. "Tell me you want me to fuck you"

"...fuck me"

"I didn't hear you," Gackt smirked. It was driving Hyde wild to not be able to say what he wanted.

"Fuck me, Gacchan!" Gackt let Hyde remove his pants. Gackt leaned into Hyde's ear and said with a gentle tone "If it's too much or too painful, I'll stop."

As the orange sun was setting along the beaches horizon, Gackt plunged into Hyde, causing Hyde to cry out. Gackt paused to let Hyde collect his witts from the sharp pain he had just caused him. Gackt reached out and lightly brushed a stray tear from Hyde's eye.

"I'm so sorry, it shouldn't hurt anymore," he whispered. With that, Gackt began to move back and forth, pumping in and out of Hyde, hitting that spot deeply everytime, making Hyde moan louder than he ever had before.

"Ohhh Gacchan!!"

Hyde rolled over onto his stomach and began to move his hips in rhythm with Gackt's thrusting as he caressed Hyde's cock, causing both of them to cry out in unison as they released together. Collapsing on the bed, Gackt caressed Hyde's shoulder blades, and wrapped his arms around him tightly.

"My beautiful Angel... with the most beautiful wings..." and with that, they drifted off to sleep.

*~~~~~*

Gackt awoke the next morning to hear his alarm clock going off. he rolled over to turn it off and groaned. He was already stiff from the activities he had done last night, and gave a sigh of relief that they weren't doing any stunts on set today. The scene! We forgot to rehearse it! Gackt quickly looked over to where Hyde was sleeping to find a note with an arrow that pointed to the sliding door and said 'Outside'. Gackt stood up, slipped on a pair of shorts and walked over to the door. Hyde looked radiant sitting in the sand as the waves played with his profile. Hyde turned his head toward the door, saw Gackt and smiled. One night of forbidden passion. One night of their utmost intimate desires. Gackt smiled back. That one night had created an eternal bond. And Gackt would give up everything he had for him. Give up the very life he had already built, say goodbye to the world in exchange to spend eternity with his angel, Hyde. And Hyde would do the same.

Gackt walked through the sand to greet Hyde. "We should get going, filming starts in an hour," He outstretched his hand to help Hyde up. "I gotta get a shower."

Hyde took his hand and stood up. He looked at Gackt and smiled. "Let's shower together," and his angel held his hand as he led him back in the house, never letting go once.

*~~~~~*

"We finished the duet's recording," Gackt announced to the director, handing the cd to him.

"It's about time! It's been over a month since you started it!"

Gackt turned and winked at Hyde as the director listened to the song.

"Its... its beautiful!" he exclaimed, "Absolutely perfect!"

Hyde smiled. "It's perfect alright."

Orenji No Taiyou

yuugure ni kimi to mita orenji no taiyou
nakisou na kao o shite eien no sayonara

In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun
You looked like you were going to cry eternal goodbye

kirameku nami to tawamureteita mujaki na kimi no sono yokogao
hadashi de sunahama o kakenukeru kimi ga itoshii

The glittering waves played with your innocent profile
You are lovely as you run past me barefoot on the sandy beach

suna ni kaita kimi no namae to kazaritsuketa kaigara wa
kata o yoseta bokura no mae de nami ni sarawareta

Your name written in the sand and the seashells decorating it
Are swept away by the waves in front of the two of us

yuugure ni kimi to mita orenji no taiyou
nakisou na kao o shite eien no sayonara

In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun
You looked like you were going to cry eternal goodbye

aoi sora wa iki o hisomete akai yuuhi ni dakareteyuku
boku mo kimi o dakishimenagara hitomi o tojita

The blue sky whispers softly, the red sunlight embraced us
I closed my eyes as I held you as well

ikutsumono yorokobi ya kanashimi mo kazoekirenai deai ya wakare mo
ano koro to kawarazu yasashiku miteru orenji no taiyou

A great many joys or sadnesses countless meetings or farewells
Just the same as back then, it's watching kindly the orange sun

eien o yume miteta ano koro no bokura wa
itsumademo hanarezu ni dakiatte waratteta

At that time, the two of us were dreaming about eternity
We held each other and laughed like we'd never part

akireru hodo kimi o omou yo
sore dake de boku wa mitasareru
nakanai de, itsu datte aeru yo
hitomi o tojireba...

I think of you with almost amazement
With just that I'm satisfied
Don't cry, we'll meet again some day
If you close your eyes...

yuugure ni kimi to mita orenji no taiyou
nakisou na kao o shite eien no sayonara

In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun
You looked like you were going to cry eternal goodbye

yuugure ni kimi to mita orenji no taiyou
nakisou na kao o shite eien no sayonara

In the evening, I saw with you the orange sun
You looked like you were going to cry eternal goodbye

Credit for lyrics and translations go to http://www.senshigakuen.com/translations/lyrics/gackt/orenji_no_taiyou.htm

First Post

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 08:02:08 GMT

Yay! I got my fan fiction Journal up and running! *goes off to geocities to copy paste a few chapters of her long running Inuyasha fic*

Oh yes~~

and LOOK AT MY KARYU WATER ORGY ICON!! Isn't it just sinful?? And yes. *nods head* I did make it. Just don't ask me htf I got the background all spiffy like that ^^;;;