Why are we here? Why do I do what I do? Is there truly such things as eternal happiness, fulfillment, and an epiphanic realization that will forever change my confused perspective of what seems to be? Perhaps and perhaps not, but for now there are countless ways to spend my time in a half-hearted, though earnest, catharsis.
Most importantly I am an assistant lounge singer. After years of skulking in old sheet music shops crawling with smack-talking promoters, I began a rigerous study under the tutelage of some of the most revered lounge singers in the local nocturnal spiritual community. There is truly nothing more wonderful than to go to an all night event where rockstar crooners belt out their favorite tunes over massive, bass-thumping sound systems. Rawk [sic] on! I also collect used binkies, ADIDAS footwear, and armpit photographs.