| for once, a non useless entry |
[18 Mar 2004|04:18pm] |
I know, I know. Lack of depth in this damn thing lately. Sorry about that. Been writing to myself a lot lately. Not really my life, other people's lives. Getting off my ass and getting those good old writing skills together again. I've decided that within three years I want to have a finished product. Not a novel. A collection. Short stories, little ramble peices, poems, etc. Photos maybe to be the graphic design for it. Something to start whoring out to publishing companies. Who knows right? Meh. I'm just so damn apathetic half the time. And then I get sad because I feel like my life is falling out of control but yet I'm sitting here and letting it. And I know if I don't try to make it otherwise, I'll end up in some dumb office job.
No more. No more procrastinating for me. No more plans for the future that I don't follow through on. No more letting myself become an uncreative bum. Lord help me.
It's really the fear, the self doubt that stops me. The stupid thoughts in the back of my mind that I'm not good enough. That I'll never be good enough. I need to stop those. Those are the killers. Because I am good enough. If I can believe it, then I am.
I had odd dreams last night. The sort where you swear you're awake until you actually wake up. I hate those. I hate not knowing if these conversations are true or not. Again with those stupid little doubts in the back of my mind. The things you know aren't true but yet you still think them. The subconcious is a bitch.
Decided to take another full year of school instead of just the first semester. Much better that way. I could have done it, but I wouldn't have had time for anything else. This way I can design another show, Jim mentioned doing a mainstage which would rock. I can also take directing in the fall and then sumbit a proposal for theatreXtra for the spring and hopefully I'll get to direct Blood. I've wanted to put this play on for ages. I'd love to design for it too, I have the set and the lighting in my head perfectly, but I doubt they'd let me do it all.
Anyways, something I wrote a while back, one of the few things I really liked.
( worse than teenage poetryCollapse )
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[10 Mar 2004|11:40pm] |
Stolen from  girlguitarist
1. Enter your first name only into Google
2. Then click the "Image" tab
3. Pick your favorites and post it in your journal
( meghanCollapse )
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[10 Mar 2004|02:40pm] |
"Kirsten Dunst says she could have played suicidal poet Sylvia Plath better than Gwyneth Paltrow did"
Wait, but doesn't that mean she would have to know how to act?
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| From weathernetwork.com |
[09 Mar 2004|09:42pm] |
This is pricless. On the Lethbridge page:
We don't expect any precipitation from Tuesday overnight to Wednesday overnight.
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[09 Mar 2004|09:39pm] |
Does anyone else think that maybe the guy from the Von Bondies and Jack White had a little conspiracy going on to get in that bar fight? Since you know, the Von Bondies cd just came out this week and they've had a good few weeks before now of press about the bar fight. Interesting, no?
It snowed. It was raining, and I was happy. I love the rain. I love the feel of it on my skin, I love how it clings to my hair. I love the way it washes away all the dust and it's like starting new the next day. I love the smell. But now it's snow. Big ass snow. It's pretty. But in the span of an hour my car is now burried under three feet of it. I hope it keeps going like this. Maybe we'll get declared a state of emergency and school will be cancelled tomorrow.
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| what I'm taking fall 2004, revised |
[05 Mar 2004|07:40pm] |
DRAM 3821 A Lighting for the Theatre
M W F 14:00-15:50
DRAM 3835 A Design for Theatre Studio I
M W F 10:00-11:50
DRAM 4420 A Directing
M W F 12:00-13:50
(with Parkison, blah)
ART 3014 A Photo-Arts III Tu 13:40-14:40
ART 3014 1 Art 3014 Lab 1 Tu/Thu 14:45-16:45
or
ART 3060 A Media Arts I (Computer Art) Tu 13:40-14:40
ART 3060 1 Art 3060 Lab 1 Tu/Thur 14:45-16:45
I can't decide between those two. Media Arts would probably be less work, but I get darkroom access for photo arts, which I miss so much.
CPSC 1000 B Introduction to Computer Science Tu Th 12:15-13:30
CPSC 1000 6 Cpsc 1000 Lab 6 (For Sec B) Th 10:15-12:05
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| things that suck: |
[04 Mar 2004|07:57pm] |
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1) I put in massive amounts of time and energy into designing for a show. My friends aren't going. I mean, I could say go see it and they would, but I've mentioned many times it opened tonight and they know what I did on it and none of them have said, hey we should go see what you did. My boyfriend works nights for the entire run so he won't see it. My parents said they don't want to drive in to see it, they live three hours away. Not even. Two and a half. So much for my grand debut in the world of theatre design.
2) On top of that, I'm getting sick. Feverish and achy. I feel so gross.
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| courses I want to take: |
[03 Mar 2004|02:07pm] |
DRAM 3821 A Lighting for the Theatre
M W F 14:00-15:50
DRAM 3835 A Design for Theatre Studio I
M W F 10:00-11:50
DRAM 4420 A Directing
M W F 12:00-13:50
PSYC 2600 A Brain and Behaviour
Tu Th 13:40-14:55
or
MATH 0500 A Essential Mathematics Tu Th 12:15-13:30 Th 13:40-14:30
Damn these science requirements for my liberal ed.
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[02 Mar 2004|05:21pm] |
Why.
Seriously.
Why.
Must.
Some.
Boys (and I use boys because the maturity of the one I speak of is nowhere near a man).
Be.
Assholes.
And.
Immature.
And.
Go.
Back.
On.
Their.
Word.
When.
They.
Said.
What.
They.
Wanted.
More.
Than.
Anything.
Was.
That.
They.
Wanted.
To.
Be.
Your.
Friend.
In.
The.
End.
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[02 Mar 2004|05:20pm] |
DANDYWILBER'S FREE TUTORIAL ON HOW TO TYPE/SPELL/SPEAK CORRECTLY!
Or: How to sound mildly intelligent! |
| When to properly use your or you're (you are) | YOURyour
adj. The possessive form of you
1. Used as a modifier before a noun: your
boots; your accomplishments
2. A person's; one's: The light switch is on
your right
So, what does it mean?
Your is a word that states that the possession of some object or abstract idea is in the possession of you. The hat is not you're hat. It is YOUR hat. As you're cannot be used in place of your, the same is true for the reverse of this lesson. Your cannot be used in a sentence when the meaning of the word should be "you are," such as you are not very intellectual or you are in possession of the grammar skills of a 4-year old. This is where YOU'RE comes in, not your. See the right side, YOUR right side (of the computer screen) for instructions on how to use YOU'RE.
Some examples:
This is your pink flamingo.
Our Lady Peace is your favorite band.
Please, stop your car and run into oncoming traffic. | YOU'REyou're
Contraction of you are.
contraction
n. The act or process of shortening
1. The shortening of a word, or of two
words, by the omission of a letter or
letters, or by reducing two or more
vowels or syllables to one; as, ne'er for
never; can't for can not; don't for do
not; it's for it is.
Huh?
In short, you're means you are. We do all know what "you" and "are" mean, don't we? I should surely hope so! One uses you're when they wish to speak regarding a person.
Some examples:
You're not a very nice individual.
You're coming with me this evening.
You're not serious, are you? | | Post this tutorial in your journal!! |
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[27 Feb 2004|09:02pm] |
I have suddenly been for the past couple of hours in the worst mood.
I hate everything right now.
Nothing is going right.
Though nothing is going wrong.
It hurts to breathe.
Please, just breathe.
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| just another song about love |
[27 Feb 2004|06:31pm] |
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So I studied like a fiend last night for my theatre history midterm and it turned out that it was the easiest thing in the world. I seriously could have just skimmed my notes for half an hour before class and done fine. Ah well. It was good to study, now I have useless trivia on melodrama, romanticism, naturalism and realism burned onto my brain. I continued with my productivity this afternoon as I studied for a few hours for my rock test. Then checked the testing center hours to see when I had till to go write. Yeah, the fuckers close at five and I checked at four-fifteen-ish which means they wouldn't have let me start my test. So now I have to go tomorrrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, must be at school at nine. So sick. Ah well. We don't have that much to hang tomorrow, focus might be a bitch but hopefully it'll be done by 1-ish.
Must now go do design work, then gym. Then laundry and try to memorize the members of Clapton's various bands through the 60's and 70's.
would you belive me if I told you that the stories were true
would you believe me if I told you the whole world was blue
would you believe me if I told you I was wrong, I was wrong
would you believe me if I told you this was a song about love
just another song about love
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| coles notes of the week so far |
[24 Feb 2004|03:49pm] |
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I really dislike using my german kazaa, the words kind of scare me. I don't know why but german to me seems like the kind of language that constantly yells. If that makes sense.
My head hurts.
I think I may lay down after this entry, because it really hurts.
I want to sit outside and read for my paper, but I really don't think my head could handle Beckett at the moment. Far too much thinking.
It's warm. And sunny. And suprisingly not windy which is why I have the desire to sit outside. But bed seems better. I went to the gym last night. Perhaps I'll go again today. Why? Why not. I feel like I need to lose weight. It's not that my thinking is, damnit Meghan you're fat, lose some weight, I just want to. I feel unhealthy lately, maybe this will help. Maybe it will help me sleep.
Sleep.
I miss sleep.
Had fucked up dreams about losing Nickolej's cat and deers getting hit by lightning last night.
Must email my mother a cover letter for my resume. Must also have her spell check said resume since I believe I wrote lightning instead of lighting.
Sealed Human by the Faint is one damn good song.
There is a phenomenom among people. I call it the Wayne's World syndrom. I first noticed WWS (as I call it for short) over the summer before Matt Good hit the stage. A silent motion performed by all. I noticed it again today in class, history of rock. That one moment in Bohemiam Rhapsody when the headbanging starts. And everyone who knows Wanye's World, whether they mean to or not, just start bobbing their head. This is more noticable in large groups of people. Some will continue, some will catch themselves and laugh to a friend about it. WWS.
Water.
Is good.
I want some.
Bye.
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| meghan's to do list |
[23 Feb 2004|06:19pm] |
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This is For You, Anna
[x]see run thru, tonight, 7:30
[ ]plot, due thursday, 9:30am
[ ]hang, saturday morn.
[ ]setting cues, sunday aft.
[ ]tech run, march 1-3
*Note to my lethbridge people, we open March 4 and run until the 6, tickets are a mere 6 dollars, you should come see. It's good, if you like the more abstract and kind of fucked and relatively depressing drama.
Design for Theatre
[ ]card model with pros. due wednesday
[ ]costume rendering, full colour, due friday
[ ]start furniture peice
History of Theatre
[ ]midterm, friday, study!!!!!
[x]get books for paper
[ ]write outline this weekend
Other
[ ]study and write history of rock test
[ ]write second essay for social psych
Yeah, there was no point in any of you reading this, I just needed to put this all somewhere I wouldn't lose it.
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| this is a test |
[23 Feb 2004|04:31pm] |
Has it ever not made sense? What, you might ask. Well, I'd answer, everything. Those little thoughts in the back of your mind that have no cause or effect, no place with the rest, no place in the happiness. Just thoughts that sit there, doubting what you know. Those little thoughts that keep sleep from coming at nights. The little thoughts that never go away.
Has it ever not made sense? The world in general. How it can be so beautiful one moment it's enough to make you cry. And the next all you can see is the hate that everyone seems to dish out so easily. All you can see are the things that are unjust. The way a handful of people have so much money, and millions starve. The way you're stuck in the middle where you have just enough to not complain, but not enough to really make a difference, or so it feels like when you stare at the monster that is the world's problems.
Has it ever not made sense? The way you can be surrounded by people but yet feel so alone. Or lost in a lover's embrace but still feel like you're an island to yourself. Removed from what you view as being so easy for everyone else. And then the silent reminder that you're not really going insane. That everyone feels this way.
Have you ever written just to write. To feel the keys buckle under the pressure of your fingers and by some magic, though you know even if you never think of it, that it's simply some complex pattern that sends the message from key to monitor (magic is for children), the letter will appear. Have you ever written a run on sentence. Have you ever written just to get it out. To lose yourself in some odd thought pattern that if you don't put it somewhere you fear of losing it. Not because you think it might be great and inspirational, some new idea (nothing is really new anymore) but just because if you lose it, it will come back. And it will come back in the middle of some sleepless night when you're wrapped up in someone else and they're sleeping so sound and the last thing you want to do is disturb them by moving to ramble this silly little thought out.
Have you ever just paused, if only for a moment, to take a look around. Do it. Have you ever stared at the sky and wondered where it ends? Where the clouds come from, forgetting elementary science and the water cycle.
Have you ever just wanted to stay in a moment forever?
( fact through fictionCollapse )
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