| this is just to not tell you that I'm paralysed with fear and crying every waking minute now |
18 Jun 13, 11:20pm |
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There's still no app you hum into which tells you which piece of (instrumental) music you are looking for, right? At least not on a computer? I youtubed all Schubert symphonies and string quartetts in Minor, but nothing was that dramatic "down" piece that I heard again on the street the other day and maybe even at an opera, no, that can't be, but I know I had the aha-effect somewhere, and it should have been Death atm or the Hungarian thing, but it is neither. I can't even write notes well enough, and I can't even hum the complicated bit that I hear clearly in my head.
Duuuuuuuuuuh.
Duh-duuuuh.
(slightly higher)
Duuuuuuuuuh!
Dah-duuuuuh.
(third repeat variation)
(then the complicated bit where the strings cross all over and tumble down together, after previously the high ones rose while the chelli? grounded further down.
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speak to me
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| Is it me? |
15 Jun 13, 10:32pm |
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Penultimate play was lepage s $pades., and just as boring and flat and insignifcnt and andbadreally as the other 4, incl oz hit 't wild duck'. Audience feels same bt is trickd by (paid?) critics. Slow t clap, they keep going id actor reapear, bt one can feel dif.e ! Shht. Did u see either? Alienated more tan ever, i gt snubd by my seatneibour after 3 hnurs when i wantd to stupidly chat on empty train we also shard-nn cant reply frm phone,ttyl. Tomoro is crimp s 'writen on skin.' Very last chance. For it and me ,re pic 4 studio.
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speak to me
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| how deep have |
13 Jun 13, 10:53pm |
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Years ago, when I realised I spent my birthday every year at the doctor's, it seemed I had reached the low point of my life-less eternal OAP existence.
Now I just caught myself writing a medium-length detailed email to the local transport authority about a particular train journey taking much longer than suggested (when usually their suggestions are longer than the journeys take).
As long as I still post about it, there's hope?
...
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2 emanations | speak to me
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| to do |
8 Jun 13, 11:20pm |
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Just in case I don't (bets on I won't): draw a sketch of those real life Daleks I saw the other day. They were Saudi Arabians - the rich one come in droves and stay for at least three months each summer - but nothing looks more like a big black Dalek than a woman in a Burqa filming with a video camera, srsly, hands-in-gloves, crooked arm, you only see the large video camera protroding from the head area, and can you see the head-moves necessitated by the limited field of vision?
I just headducksmiled and was too stupid/shy/non-invasive to shoot a photo (of them filming all of us from the safety of their Dalek armour), didn't even dare look properly to not seem rude but srsly, I wish you could have seen.
Secondly, long slender table legs, with ankles, that end in antiqu-y wheels which are attached at the 45 degree angle, ie. not right in the middle but also not right at the outer rim. The only good thing about tonight's play.
This famous Frenchman only ever hires actors from Germany or France, and I'm so glad he finally leaves after DECADES of heading the theatre festival and immortalising further "the woman", ie. very small and very thin and very painted and very underdressed "ideals" who generally lust after/love a fat old bald man, who is disinterested and the only real person and human and whatnot. I'll never forgive them for the press text of an Osborne(?) play that said "Sevigny doesn't act, she IS woman, the ideal mother whore saint, and the younger son samples her right away" - this SAMPLE was never in quotation marks, it was repeated everywhere as a natural fact, woman is a ware one FUCKING SAMPLES hur hur or not even hur hur, this is art, and she loves becoming the whore for a whole family of men, after all, this is woman.
ETA: tonight it was oh so funny how a woman tried not to get raped in Tartuffe; slapper is his fav look and wasn't slapper a bad word before the fasion.
On tumblr, I'm being told it is none of my business and I shouldn't comment on either of the two things I just did. Possibly LJ wanks would have featured that statement as well, but I think even at its worst, that simplification wasn't all (and I never was a fan).
My stomach aches are back/never stopped, same as hunger. I wish I had taken a photo of that table leg - I took pics of empty stages for the last few years, cp. my band photo mania in my former life, but I was far back and walked out when they started clapping.
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speak to me
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| Fffff, the sequel |
5 Jun 13, 9:49pm |
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| » mood: desperate (but not serious? was that Adam Ant?) |
Haven't even dared look at your replies to my last. That was the equivalent of drunk posting. Not that I'm feeling any different now. I waited until it was very dark again to half-repot half the damage and leave the rest with half-torn roots pushed back into soil in a tangle now - three hours of work and I still can't stop my stomach ache about S. All I managed is mess and pain and blood and Kendra getting desperate for my lap. Yesterday I saw the most boring (non?)play ever; there were also plants involved. And a big mole. Made me realise I've now reached a level of despair where I would watch ppl dressed as animals ... with more pleasure than just people ... the Zooniverse suddenly looked tempting ... wtf!
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speak to me
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| Fuck |
4 Jun 13, 1:24am |
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Cant sleep. Cant repot broken plant survivor7 in dark btu dead by morning. Maybe if i had torch in teeth. Broke alarm i fear, hands were numb,always in bed. But why did i have to acidntialy think time was off, why have to look out window when storms hadnt damaged tat square pot before, why dig with one bleeding finger, only break only plant left bt why nt repot- instead phönetype. Cats no excuse. Bt
cudnt dècide were to put plant in m6nths of daylite before,how cud i at 2 am?Fuck. Wind ,..no friend.
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6 emanations | speak to me
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| Fame? |
2 Jun 13, 8:53pm |
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Can't sign into Goodreads. The password resets aren't sent to me. Might be because I lost my LJ email address when I went unpaid - or should we all keep our lj-name email??? But I still get likes and comment notifications so wtf ...
Stupid periodical reset of auto-log-ins grumblegripe -i- rely on getting online automatically and my saved password was alos not accepted.
Can you help me get into my Goodreads account somehow please? Is there no way at all to get my account back? I mailed them to no avail.
ETA: GRAAAARGH, so after the last pw didn't work, I deleted the ******* and hit "I forgot password" again - and it fucking logged me in. That is NOT very comforting.
ETA-TWO: WTF? How can I possibly be #14 most followed
#12 best reviewers
#16 top reviewers????????????????
I'm not fishing here, I really don't get it - has Goodreads declined in membership that much? I hardly posted for the last years (didn't I?)!
ETA-talkingtomyselfagain: it kept crashing. I assume I didn't cause that ... why is there no option to say -i- have (read) a book it recommends me?? Am I overlooking something? ETA: because it was hidden behind a stupid fucking little button next to the big fat "want" one ... just like everything I need is now hidden in Google and Tumblr and Online Banking *kills everyone*
I already removed Amazon, Sony and all the other suggested "Get At" links and refused to let them publish my reviews whereever they fucking want - it's great that we can remove both, but urks it was auto enabled for ... how long?????????????
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speak to me
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| Kaaaaaaaaaahn?! |
31 May 13, 11:49pm |
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Before -i- forget, how did they get Crumblesnatch to "be" Kahn, did he later rename himself from whatever his character was listed as? Or was Kahn supposed to wear his face like a white mask until some final reveal? Or did he later change racial identity as a protest against his family or come on please quickly tell me I could google but pls tell me kthx :)
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20 emanations | speak to me
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| The Fall and Il Trovatore (to do, stub) |
30 May 13, 11:00pm |
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Never watched the X-Files, am sad Gillian is blonde and oddly find her harder to understand than any of the Irish actors. Thought it might be another good UK crime series, but it's really tough to watch, tense suspense because so very quiet and normal, often with no soundtrack - and the rapist (and murderer, nobody cares if he just violates women after all) is introduced and followed exactly like the auditor from the Met.
He's not just the father of two nice little children who snuggles with his wife in bed after the failed rape murder, but he's a psychiatrist, or psychologist, but worst of all a couples counselor in the first reveal of that fact. Therapists already have way too much power and are way too bad in their important position, but to see him doodling the grieving mother naked and asking her husband about the sex life while everything looks completely normal from the front is much more effective than the few other psycho. killers in movies, who were mostly revealed at the end.
To then top this, the criminal actually appears at advantage when the husband turns racist thug; make him a Jewish Russian, and he briefly becomes sympathetic.
Which is no use in the unbearable scenes where he stalks his escaped victim, both with little children, all harmless ordinary adults. It was apparent for me that he's "doing" successful/power women, so this solicitor is in lethal danger unbeknownst to her, as will of course Gillian be in due course. I'm only 28 min in and don't want to watch suffering (wish I knew how that series with my Steven Mackintosh ended, all my old flames in hard to watch dramas, but what isn't these days, it's all GoT, gore alore ...
ETA: even when the beat cops actually think and go back to the endangered woman, they drive off as she's tortured upstairs; it's good that already ep 1 shows ppl trying and not everything just going wrong because of annoying pointless stupidity; and it's fun to see Gillian spy a hunk and demand she be introduced only to give him her room number and drive off again; but it's hard to watch because realistic.
Pointlessly typed this up - instead of a high-brow (as if, from me?) review of last night's Il Trovatore, where I wanted to ask you if it's normal for this Verdi opera to have the traumatised witch as the focal point, or if she was only the most important character to me?
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speak to me
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| Amazon makes money from your fan fiction |
25 May 13, 10:19pm |
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In the good old days, this would have been all over my flist - today I stumbled across it on a foot note on tumblr: "By using the platform, authors give all rights to the work to Amazon, who can then license your elements to other authors with no compensation to the original poster.” Enough fan ficcers won't care, especially the young ones, but that makes the CassandraClaires and ShadesofGreys look good in comparison. So far the regurgitated (and/or) badfic has benefitted the fanfic writers at least in some degree, although the publishing houses cashed in on fanfic ever since Jenkins and other meta couldn't shut up about it. I can say that since none of them will read this anymore. But Amazon is laundering what was non-profit because partly "stolen" and making profit from it ... I don't actually care anymore, I just realise. I haven't read a non-atrocious publication in 20 years.
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2 emanations | speak to me
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| -i- keep forgetting to remind you: |
22 May 13, 7:29pm |
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a) Thanks to all those who already replied! ETA: I added ppl ... I see DW ranting coming up *g*
b) If you're still reading me, please let me know, since I have to clean up my flist - 99 percent of which hasn't posted or commented for four years.
c) If you're still here yet not interested, I'd be really appreciative of you letting me know that as well!
d) And if you're a regular on other platforms now, please do tell me where. Even if you used to post that before you left, tell me now (even if tumblr will soon expire, and InsaneJ might be gone?).
I just wrote my first ever comment on smartbitches because one of you who doesn't reply here ever bought a book recced there by them without them having read it - and commenters loved it but CHESNEY/BEATON IS THE WORST.
In a big group of worst, but do NOT describe her as CHARMING please, kthxbye.
tl;dr: PLS COMMENT NAO
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7 emanations | speak to me
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| -i-m bad -i-m bad |
14 May 13, 12:15am |
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( Read more...Collapse )
ETA: can't believe this. Sn finally replied to a mail (didn't to my calls) and blames me and says that -i- have to do something about the situation, that is making HER feel uncomfortable *stomach ulcer* when she would not have been there if I hadn't invited her which had infuriated M so. You know, being quartered is one of the most horrid deaths I can imagine, and yet ...
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4 emanations | speak to me
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| Community |
11 May 13, 12:26am |
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Posted some betterised caps from the last two eps of this show that seem to have managed to get it renewed *stuffs fist in mouth to not say saved*
Posting only this here for anybody interested in an unusual/accurate introduction to the show. Or maybe it's too confusing for anybody who hasn't watched it. Incl most of those watching it on tumblr. GIVE IT FIVE MINUTES (the rest is other stuff):
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speak to me
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| READ ALL THE WORDS |
9 May 13, 8:36pm |
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FOR ONCE YOU NEED TO REALLY READ ALL THE WORDSin-between Ally's comics. As much as we love t/h/e/i/r expressiveness, -i- know it's impossible to draw the nothingness. This time the pics really don't cut to the chase as much as the very accurate words, about the NOTHINGNESS. I wanted to repost JUST THE TEXT but who reads that.
Maybe I'll just repost a few of the panels each day until either of us dies.
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4 emanations | speak to me
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| le douleeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur |
7 May 13, 11:39pm |
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THIS was me yester/to/day reading the “sexy” passages in “romance” novels. Seriously, I was making these gestures and very loud noises and possibly drumming my feet in utter frustration, tedious tedious, aaaaaargh, never went that far before but even skimskipping didn’t help.
#life #gpoy #matt smith #doctor who #romance novels
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2 emanations | speak to me
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| THIS IS NOT A DRILL |
2 May 13, 11:39pm |
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DEAR people,
if you (still) read my LJ, please comment here. Just say YES or BAH. I know ten of you regularly do, but not about most of my flist.
I never migrated - except I've got 4.404 posts on tumblr - but 99 percent of you did, and I want to clean out my ten year old list this month.
IMAGINE A CLICKY BUTTON that takes a few more keystrokes BEHIND "REPLY", thank you.
PS: if you just decided you'd like to get out now, please ALSO TELL ME :)
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41 emanations | speak to me
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| current Hollywood racism |
28 Apr 13, 4:03pm |
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I've avoided all the racism and sexism fires on LJ in the past, but I hope some activists are still around and can tell me what they think about the BIG casting SPOILER I WON'T SPELL OUT in the new/current Star Trek movie?
While the reason for the casting of the white guy IN a big film is clear, there is no excuse for the role. At least two overlooked not-Oscar winning non-white actors spring readily to mind as ideal and not-unknown cast choices, and the ST excuse of genetic modification makes this white-washing SO MUCH WORSE that even I feel affected ...
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22 emanations | speak to me
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| Help? |
11 Apr 13, 10:33pm |
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| » mood: my eyes are leaking most of the day |
DOES ANYBODY READING THIS HAVE THE DOCTOR WHO 2005 season 5 (I think) DVDS???? I don't think I have a single fellow fan here, and I waited too long again to share the love with my youngest friend, who already did all the Eccles and Ant without me. But trying to force myself to skip those and start on my Goesuptoeleven made me realise I have a box set for blind people. It's wearing me down, the grey slow clunky voice menu. Are all my unseen treasures not gold but such dross? Or is it just my phenomenal luck?
Might write the rest of the start of my reflections on tumblr. Now that it's too late, it's about time. But please speak up now.
Thank you for your help.
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5 emanations | speak to me
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