in love and death.

I finally understand the meaning of that frequently used phrase, in love and death.
Today was such a good day.
And then, I got a phone call.
Yoda died today.
She just passed away. Out of no where.
I couldn't even do anything about it. And I never kissed her goodbye. And All night I sat crying, and when I wasn't crying, I was trying to not think about it, or think about my crying.
I loved her.
I loved my kitten like she was my child.
I probably loved her more then anything I have ever loved in this world. She is my baby.
And now shes gone. I know she isnt really gone, and never will be. She will always be in my head, and heart, and in all the few but Wonderful memories.
I lost a child.
And I cried.
And I will still cry.
In love and death, that was how I lived today. In love and death.
I will always love her so much, deep down, and she will be in my thoughts every day. I love her.
So I looked at her body, stiff and motionless. Her stomach not moving up and down, her tail curved and unmovable. And I touched her paw, and rubbed it, and cried, and I stroked her tail, and cried.
I kissed her cheek and closed her eyes and said goodnight.