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[Aug. 29th, 2006|01:18 pm]
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I'm going to be internet-less for a while whilst I move. If one would like to reach me, one could do so by calling 868-6335, or probably dropping by the spill, as I'll be living upstairs.
-neel. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2006|05:49 pm]
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| [ | music |
| | rilo kiley - accidental death.. | ] |
kris aubin = breath of fresh air. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|09:53 pm]
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| [ | music |
| | boards of canada - wildlife analysis.. | ] |
i've been living a strange life of excess recently. my predisposition is addiction. this summer has been terrible for such things. today is the first day in many (possibly 12) that i haven't consumed some form of alcoholic beverage. luckily, i live a life of zero responsibility these days, but nonetheless it is an alarming trend. i certainly haven't been drunk all 12 days, but still, my pocketbook and sanity are at stake here. also, for 3 or so months i have been a smoker. if 16 year old neel could see present neel i'm sure he'd shake his head or punch me in the mouth. i can't really believe that i smoke, but here i am. beyond monetary and health concerns i have no desire to quit. i tell myself this is a "summer thing;" just a fling, but one has to wonder. i'm kinda falling apart, but doing so glamourously.
i don't really have any idea what i'm doing with/to myself recently. everything kinda imploded on me as soon as summer started. what had become my regular life blew up in my face. without school, and my regular trip back to mommy and daddy for the summer (among other things) i was left straded in the unfamiliar, my reaction was some form of rock and roll self-destruction. self-destruction has led me poverty, uncertainty and questionable decisions. i want to appologize to everyone around me (some more than others) and start over, but that really isn't an option.
though, to say that the summer has been a loss would be remiss. many positive things have happened around me. i've met many new and wonderful people and placed myself in situations that can be nothing but positive influences in the future. the sweet homewreckers are in the best place we have been ever and are tighter and stronger for it. hamilton last night was a joy and i have nothing but hope for our future. my new living situation should be fantastic, and the quality of the people around me is improving at an amazing rate. i just wish i had the stability and dependability i had a few months ago. as quasi-glamourous as a life without direction is it isn't fulfilling. i feel far away from my family and friends, and that distance causes me stress. i feel like a characature of something i always thought i wanted to be. i should probably stop reading leonard cohen.
regardless, here i am and perhaps this is me turning over a new leaf, or at the very leaf acknowledging the old leaf exists. it's time to snap out of rock and roll and go back to nerd-dom. high self-confidence is cool, it just isn't really me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|09:19 pm]
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| [ | music |
| | m.ward - undertaker.. | ] |
semi-boring country song about young love.
When I met you I was 14,
Saw you thought that it was a dream
But then you came right up to me.
Had it right from go.
Said that you would be my sweetheart
We were lovers right from the start
Said we' never ever be apart
Had it right from go.
We were only wee things.
We had to order extra small rings.
But we had plans bigger than both our hands.
Bigger than either could hold.
Then your Daddy threw a huge fit
Said we were far too young for it
But you know we didn’t give a shit.
Had it right from go.
Got your brother to give us a ride,
To the chapel then we went inside.
That is where I made you my bride.
Had it right from go.
We were only wee things.
We had to order extra small rings.
But we had plans bigger than both our hands.
Bigger than either could hold.
We should have listened to your daddy’s help.
Picking up the pieces all by myself.
Tiny rings up on the shelf.
Had it right from go.
Tiny rings up on the shelf,
Had it right, from go. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|11:37 am]
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| [ | music |
| | m. ward - exiles on main.. | ] |
So I'm reading Chuck Klosterman again. I identify with everything he writes and like to think that I understand all of his ridiculous pop-culture references. I wonder if this makes me a better or worse person. Like, I wonder if catching all of his silly turns of phrases and alterno-rock lyric drops demostrate a higher level of knowledge, or make me somehow more pathetic. I wonder if anyone outside of their mid 20's to early 30's can stomach his stuff though. His books are just one giant cultural inside joke that somehow fits my entire realm of interest. I wonder how many others can laugh at consecutive Thom Yorke then Patrick Ewing jokes. I can't imagine too many Knicks fans listen to Kid A.
Perhaps Chuck Klosterman and I are soulmates. I wonder how many jaded 20-somethings have blogged that...
(really though, he drops an uber obscure M.Ward song in at one point. it's meant to be) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|10:52 am]
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...and then he went from hobo:
to frat boy.
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2006|03:12 am]
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I was lying on my deck tonight and could actually see stars and constellations. It was comforting. My house in Peterborough faces the same direction that my childhood (Carleton Place) house once did. From my bedroom window in each I can see the big dipper. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2006|01:59 am]
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I hate having to do this in Livejournal format, but I don't have access to either of you at the moment, so:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH SHARON CALDWELL AND ARIEL SHARRATT!!
As soon as you are both back in town let me know so you can collect your hugs, high fives, and whatever the heck else you want!
I love you both madly,
Neil.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2006|03:44 pm]
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| [ | music |
| | grandaddy - elevate myself.. | ] |
Saturday will officially be my first day of in 33 days. That's right, 33 fucking days. To celebrate I'm going home for the weekend. I'm burnt the fuck out and need to hang out with my family a little. Between the class and 2 (now 1, soon zero) jobs I've been running in circles.
Recent positives:
.new (but last) grandaddy album and impending Tv on the Radio album. It's 2004 all over again, and I love it. Bands are so cyclical as albums are often released every 2 years. It seems that in even numbered years I'm into x and odd years y. 2004 was weakerthans, tv on the radio and grandaddy. that all promises to begin again in 2006.
.quitting east side mario's. That job was taking my soul and providing little monetary compensation. Quitting jobs is an odd practice, as much as I wanted to yell "this place is infested with cockroaches" and punch the owner in the face, I remained polite. Even when he sassed the shit out of me and refused to get my paycheque.
.picking up a guitar for the first time since Hamilton. It actually hurt my hands.
Recent negatives:
.the heat. stickiness sucks. hard.
.starting to smoke on a regular basis. my crazy schedule left me grasping for free time in small packets, thus smoking. disposable activity. now that time is free again, it is time to stop.
.relentless summer class. seriously though, 3 hour midterm with 2 essays and 2 one-page answers. didn't i just starting taking this class?
But seriously, come over. I'll cook for you. |
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_ibeforee
