Its been nearly a year since i updated this bad boy!

Everything is the same, i am so happy and i everything is great,
no more crazy Jodie, i dont even cry anymore.


I just read through the last 3 years worth of journal entries and I am so grateful that i'm not that person anymore!


On a side note:

my wedding is in july and i'm MUCHO excited.

x

I am the happiest i have ever been in my life,
actually, i'm happy for the first time in my life.

I owe my whole life to the most incredible man i've ever met.
I have changed everything about my life and I feel extremely blessed.

sometimes i get up in the mornings feeling overwhelmed and i roll over and see his face and everything just dissolves.

I have given up my old self, my destructive, lying ways and I have been given a life line in his love.
I can't express how hard it has been or how rewarding, but I can say that I have never felt like this before and I cannot wait to be his wife and devote my whole life to him and showing him that he is truly my soulmate.

Things are different now and I am a changed person.

The people who i have hurt in the past are in my past now, I was too bad a person to ever forgive and i completely understand that.

but the people i love now, my friends and my lover are all seeing the true me, Which i havent seen for years myself.

I admit i was a complete idiot at times but now i am true to myself and i am incredibly happy.

+ Getting a job
+ getting a boyfriend
+ being told i'm good enough to be moved branch
+ aiya napa in july with my boo
+ benidorm in june with my dad
+ NYC in the fall with my baby bro!
+ losing half a stone
+ seeing amepants more and the beautiful brodyleeeshious
+ going to the gym (well, joining!)
+ keith and the girl
+ being a walking billboard for chanel
+ getting paid!!
+ having this many plussess again!

- not having enough time to spend all my moneys
- my rubbish business cards
- no more mr. bollingtons sweets!

I'm upgrading my phone next month its a choice between the lovely Vario 2


the girls are back for the weekend

if i were a camel, i'd camel in the morning


tiired

I am a happy bunny!





  

i also love being a ninja turtle.



and my hair


my broseph gappa


and my girls



PLUS NHESSA

Everything is going awesome
i love sheffield
i love being S.C.M.U
i love being phoned every day by a friend and asking how i am,
i love not feeling bad for not going on on certain days
i love nhessa, gary and antonia and S10 flat
i love that i have a new job
i love that i'm going to be moving to sheffield one day
i love dunnys and munnys
i love going out on fridays and not needing to go home with a guy
i love waking up on saturday with the people i love
i love not feeling guilty or having people whinge at me because im finally doing something good
i love frankie and bennys
i love tokidoki
i love my life
i love everyone who knows where i work now, those who dont obviously dont care about me as much as they thought!
i love being happy!
i love being single and happy.

Have you ever gotten absolutely everything you've ever wanted, and still felt just as empty as before you got it?
Thats pretty much exactly what i'm feeling now.
I cant shake this, this horrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach, Am i so used to having things go wrong than i'm in a constant state of regret, or Is everything not as perfect as I think it is?
I'm pretty much certain that its not the latter, as things are pretty much perfect in my life.
Glenn tells me that everything I feel is all intertwined with my eating problems, my image problems, etc. And that untili can shake those off, I'll never feel right. Never.
And i guess he's right.

I've come across a notion that I have a certain calling in life... Yes, a calling.
I'm a christian as very few of you know, Not through shame that I dont profess of my beliefs, more through subtelty, or timing.
Ask yourself, how many times have i said literally, the Perfect thing to you, said just what you needed to hear and made you feel like your whole life has changed?
I know numerous people of whom my prescence has had an immense and substantial impact on thier lives, and always for the better.
I know that I have a reason to be here, for all this and I have a gift, a real gift. And a purpose.

Now I've come across alot of agression over the past few weeks, which has been a ray of light for me recently, a great oppurtunity to rid myself of any loose ends I've had.
I wish I were nothing more than an attention-seeker, and that I have been lying about everything... So that I was resolved in the knowledge that I will never have to deal with any of the emotions I have to deal with daily,
but unfortunatly I have been short of luck and I have to face this, every single second, of every single day.
I wake up everyday and fight to stay awake.
I'm black and blue all over and I'm fighting a losing battle,
I told my boyfriend I feel like I'm dying afew days ago, and honestly, I do.
I dont feel like i'm going to get better from this point, I doesnt seem like an option.. I just see these blood test results coming back like everyones been saying they will,
Liver damage - High
Kidney Damage - High
Thyroid - Ruined.

knowing my luck I'll end up with Aids.

And on that bombshell, I bid you farewell.

Riiiight, this is going to be a big ol quicky.
I've left university,
I'm with Glenn now, And we're living together in Mansfield,
I took an overdose after taking Prozac to curb my appetite but just got suicidal instead. Ooops.
My grandad went into hospital but he's okay now
I have a sweet new Imac
and i had a blood test today and I was very brave.
There.

i spent my new years eve with my head over a toilet bowl.
i dont think i'm ever going to feel happy again.
i'm giving up.

merry christmas everyone! im going to venice now byee xx

i want a boyfriend again i think....

not anyone special or anything, just, someone.

OR A GIRLFRIEND, AMANDA, AHEM.

my mum got taken into hospital last night with chest pains, shes still there we're still waiting for blood test results, the 3rd ones.
it feels horrible being here knowing shes there.
:(

the best part of this shaming is that we convinced him he did it all to himself.

experiences on topomax and prozac? or similar? xx

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=52372922

From: "l.miller" <lmiller7@houston.rr.com>
To: "l.miller" <lmiller7@houston.rr.com>
Subject: Re: 12
Date: Saturday, November 18, 2006 9:22 PM




Dear jodi

Hi , I did find your profile from Internet, and then after readingit , I decided to write you, My name is larry Miller , I am working asowner/manager of a service company , in Houston Texas ( we have twolocations,12 employees),I have large luxury Townhouse , in a good ,andsafe area of west Houston Texas and able to support another person , itis overlooking , a ravin , and also is closed to a very large shoppingmall , I am 5'11" with my shoes , and weight 185 lbs with my shoes ,andclothes on , I am caucasian , light skin, dark hairs , do not drink orsmoke , no drugs ,or tatoos , I am always respectful toward others ,especially , toward my subordinates ,and females , i am member of localBaptist church , I usually do not get mad easily , and easy to getalong , and most of times Iam a good natured person , I do beleive thatI am one of the nicest guys that God has ever made , I do beleive inevolutions,and creations both ,i will tell you why , some day , Iusually hold no grudge against anyone , have no criminal conviction , Igo in, and out easy , I am in good health , exercise regularly , I havepet rabbit , with white pelt, my Hobbies are reading , Tv (nationalgeography ,and discovery ,and History channels are my favorates),Jogging , listening to Rush Limbaugh , and Michael Savage, eating out ,do it your self projects , traveling , ,my office no. is 281679 0000.or 713 789 3800 , cell 281 250 8760, photo avilable , call or e mailme with your ph. no. cordially Larry Miller. E Mail :lmiller7@houston.rr.com, I am single and looking,, no children,but dolove children , a child is a man,s imprint on the universe and make himto be extended beyond the grave,, I wish to invite you to come andvisit me and ,my place ,and Houston I plan to show you the city ofHouston places of interest, shopping, malls , Houston Musuems , HoustonZoo, show you what i did evolved from , this would be a discovery visitfor you , to see if you like it here or not Queen bee some day need tofly away and start own Empire, you may stay in other location than myplace if you choosed so,during your houston Visit , ,I am trying tolocate a girl from a nice family . with a christian Background ifpossible, ,I can help your travel expeses if you wish so , also thereare lot s of schools , tech school in this area if you wish to continueyour schooling ,i will help you on that, photo avilable that I can email to you directly
you can also reach me at: 713 789 3800




I've never had need to post anyone on here, but he takes the cake.

I love my hair.. Seriously.

I'm going on a date tonight...

(I know its been awhile)

Joodie