OOC: This would be after the first class with Umbridge, so the students already know how ridiculous she is. Any fifth years can jump in and feel free to write for Umbridge. Just remember to keep it canon!
There was a low murmur of voices in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom as the students waited for Professor Umbridge to make an appearance. Hermione sat with pursed lips, her textbook sitting squarely in front of her. Having already read through the book on theory of defense, she recognized the absurdity and impracticality of not learning Defense Against the Dark Arts in a Defense Against the Dark Arts class. She could only imagine what was in store for them today.
A hush fell over the students as the clock on the wall chimed and the door to Umbridge’s office swung open. The faint sound of cats meowing could be heard from the other room as Professor Umbridge stepped out, a wide smile on her wide face. “Good morning, class. It is so nice – “
Her sentence was cut off by Seamus Finnigan as he darted into the room and slid into his seat, nearly missing and falling onto the floor. He was panting as he looked up at the professor, wincing slightly at her steady stare. “I’m sorry, ma’am. Moving staircase, couldn’t find my way.”
“I prefer punctuality to apologies, Mister Finnigan. Five points from Gryffindor.” Her statement was punctuated with a giggle and Umbridge didn’t skip a beat as Seamus turned to Dean Thomas, pointing out that he wasn’t even a minute late. “Five more from Gryffindor, Mister Finnigan. During my class it is I who shall do the talking, not you.”
Dolores Umbridge let her eyes scan the students for a moment, taking in their looks of rapt attention and enjoying the way they sat rigidly in their seats. Except for one Mister Weasley who was slouched over his desk with his mouth hanging open, a rather vacant expression on his face. Ah well, she thought, not much else can be expected of sons of Arthur Weasley.
“Now, if there aren’t any more interruptions,” Umbridge started, beginning to slowly walk back and forth along the front of the class, “I ask that you please open your textbooks to page one hundred and seventeen.”
She paused a moment, listening to the sound of rustling pages. “I will ask of you to please read this chapter after class. We will have a brief discussion now about the contents of the chapter to give you a better understanding of it. As you will find, the most important skill to have when dealing with others is this – your words.”
“And by no means do I mean rash spells,” she added, causing a few raised eyebrows to drop quickly. Umbridge pointed her wand towards the chalkboard and a word was clearly written out. “Negotiation.”
As a few voices started up with notes of confusion, Umbridge raised her hand to silence them. “If you were to ever be confronted by a rather unfriendly sort of person, it is important to not seem confrontational. In chapter seven, your assignment for tonight, you will find many techniques to make yourself appear less threatening and you will know how to diffuse a situation with calm, rational words.”
Another giggle sounded as many students looked at each, dumb looks of confusion on their faces. Umbridge felt so sorry for them. How could they expect to pass their OWLS if they couldn’t grasp the basic fundamentals of the theoretical and logical approach to deal with other witches and wizards? The Minister needed to know that there was a severe lack of education taking place in this educational establishment.
“Now, does anyone know what you do if negotiations fail?” Hermione’s hand shot up into the air, a long list of simple and effective forming in her mind. Professor Umbridge’s bulging eyes passed right over Hermione’s hand as she looked around the room. She clucked her tongue and couldn’t help but chuckle at the stupidity of the children before her.