Being Hamwise by Craig Hamilton

Ze Script (part 2)

2011-02-15T14:29:58Z

Hey folks and folkettes,

I've got another treat for you. I have a new draft of the script for you to have a read of. It's just got a few changes to it. I think this may be the *whisper*final draft.

http://www.2shared.com/document/Agac87--/Draft_4.html

There is 21 pages of notes as well. I'm wondering what to do with them once this is finished. Might add scans of these pages as a DVD extra, along with a "Behind the scenes" and (possibly) 2 commertry tracks (1 with Adam and myself and the other with the driectors and stars of the short)

Ze Script....

2010-12-23T15:43:12Z

Yes folks. It's me. Some thought I was dead. It's true.

Anyway, I've got the 2nd draft of the script done (a little short called, "One Night")

You can save yourself a copy from here.

http://www.2shared.com/document/6f1tYhu8/Draft_2.html

Quick annoucement: Kevin Smith casts for his next flick.

2007-11-16T09:05:42Z

I don't know if anyone would be interested, but Kevin Smith has casts the lead in his next flick, Zack and Miri make a porno". Click the link to find out who.

Clicky
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117976108.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

Movie Blog #1

2007-07-27T08:02:46Z

Hey everyone.

I'm going to be using this lj to give you nice people a sort of "Production Diary" of a new film I am working on with Adam. Hear me moan about casting, directing and all that jazz that goes into film making.

So, without further or do, this is what's what.

The movie is called Tenants, it's a working title right now, but I like it. Doesn't give too much away. The basic storyline is about 2 flats right here in Edinburgh and the people who live in them.

I'm not going to give too much away on the story right now, mainly because it isn't completely refined, but expect it to be very funny and slightly dark as well, like going to the circus during a blackout.

Anyway, I should really be working.

Peace

work

2007-06-25T12:54:58Z

working at dundas & wilson for the moment doing things with photocopiers and people with werid names, "Fergal", "Paris".

I shit you not.

Tennants: 10 pages in

Moi?

2007-05-16T18:55:33Z

Heh, who knew?

_hamwise_ @ 2007-03-19T23:19:00

2007-03-19T23:20:51Z

I'm the nice one.

death

2007-03-02T20:00:37Z

You'll die from a Drug or Alcohol accident.

Let's face it - when you get drunk/high you lose all control and do stupid stuff. Unfortunately in your case those propaganda anti-escapism commercials prove true.

'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com

whisper

2007-02-05T20:28:27Z

I'm wearing a suit this week.

Shh

This will be good for a laugh

2007-02-05T20:02:20Z

Get your own valentinr

Grimm

12 days

2006-12-16T23:30:45Z

On the twelfth day of Christmas, _hamwise_ sent to me...

Twelve showers singing

Eleven supernoodles smoking

Ten eats a-guestlisting

Nine archers breathing

Eight t-shirts a-laughing

Seven deftones a-sleeping

Six samples a-jagging

Five co-o-o-omfy boxers

Four unsigned acts

Three instant noodles

Two pulling shapes

...and a hxc in a high and mighty.

Ill

2006-12-07T20:27:18Z

Just wanna let y'all know i've come down with a really crappy throat infection. Total crapness. I sound like Marlon Brando in the Godfather if it was set in loanhead.

Feel like death, would love a jint, but i don't think that would help me eh?

December 1st

2006-12-01T21:00:18Z

One thing of real importance...

CHRISTMAS ICON!!!

I rule...

Movie music quiz!

2006-11-30T19:35:38Z

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...

Opening Credits:
Ram it down - Judas Priest

Waking Up:
Heaven in her arms - converge

Monday:
Rascal - Dizzie Rascal

Fight Song:
Ravenous - Finch

Breaking up:
Wings for Marie, pt 1 - tool

Prom:
Detroit Rock City - Kiss

Life:
My Humps - black eyed peas

Mental Breakdown:
Change (in the house of flies) - deftones

Driving:
Dig this vibe - DJ Krush

Flashback:
Patchwork neurology - circle takes the square

Getting Back Together:
What you waiting for? - Franz Ferdinand (Radio 1 Live lounge)

Wedding:
I bet that you look good on the dance floor - Artic Monkeys

Birth of Child:
Fire water burn - the bllodhound gang

Final Battle:
Drum 'n' Bush - Bill Bailey

Death Scene:
The strength i call my own - dry kill logic

Funeral Song:
When good dogs do bad things - DEP with Mike Patton

End Credits:
Incubus - Pardon me.

bored meme

2006-11-19T20:30:20Z

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
I don't mind paying bills, cuz they need to be paid y'know.

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
I dunno, I pretty much suck at that kind of stuff.

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Um... ages ago, at a house party.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
I wanted to dance on the bar last night.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Can't.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Relaxing and giving people a piece of my mind.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A stockbroker, a doctor and a writer (dream still pending)

8. How many colleges did you attend?
One.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It was clean.

10. GAS PRICES! First thought!
bah!

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you.
A small pacific island that no one goes to for some real peace.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Fuck this shit, i'm going back to sleep.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
What... yeah... sleep now.

14. Favorite style of underwear?
boxers, comfy ones.

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
those lacy numbers that look like boxers... french knickers.

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
none really, i just hate doing everything with someone doing nothing.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Yeah, like the peace core.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
I dunno, but it's this show on nicktoons tv, it's got 3 cats, they rule.

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
in what sense? if it's a friend, it'll be drinking. if it's a girl friend, i guess just talking to each other, having private jokes.

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
Umm.... none really.

22. When did you first start feeling old?
easy, about 6 months ago.

23. Favorite 80's movie?
st elmos fire. easy!

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
that turkey ham! lush!

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco/Sam's Club?
booze

26. Beach or lake?
Beach.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
yeah, i do. it should be moderised with something

28. Who do you stalk on LiveJournal?
nobody

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
discovery channel

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Mean guns.

31. What's your drink?
Anything!

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Indians like that guy on the virgin trains ad.

33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers.

38. Who from high school would you like to run into?
No one really.

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Hmmm, I don't drive, but i like listening to radio 1 if i have to have the radio on.

42. Norm or Cliff?
Norm.

43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Simpsons

44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
None, but i have a habit of gettig shot down in flames. Wish that didn't happen so much. ANy tips on how to do that, let me know.

45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
I have no work atm.

46. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
No one really.

47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Keria Knightley or Jessica Alba

48. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
See above

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Yeah!

50. Ever felt like running over a pedestrian?
Like in GTA yeah

51. When's the last time you got laid?
a week and a half ago.

I'm posting in my LJ, this must be good!

2006-10-05T11:39:53Z

and it is!

Just a wee not to let you all know that I'll be working on a permanent basis as from the first of November!

Hamwise = well happy!

Apart from that, there isn't much to report, bar getting stoned, drunk and generally having a good laugh with one and all.

_hamwise_ @ 2006-09-15T15:58:00

2006-09-15T15:00:19Z

IF YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST,
I want to know things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my list, so let me know with whom I am friends! JUST HIT REPLY.

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of Live Journal?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

lj jazz

2006-09-14T12:28:33Z

The problem with LJ: we all think we're so close, but really we know nothing about each other.

So I want you to ask me something you think that you should know about me.
Something that should be obvious,but you have no idea about.

Ask away...

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

_hamwise_ @ 2006-09-05T19:56:00

2006-09-05T18:58:38Z

Hey,

For everyone who is concerned, Bobby's story is in tonights evening news. Made the front page.

Still hasn't sunk in yet.

R.I.P Bobby

Update!

2006-08-25T23:29:23Z

Hey,

So what's to report? Well, I HAVE A NEW JOB! I'm working for United Utilities as a data entry guy. The job is pretty good i reckon, only 5 hours a day. Although the other day I got trained on how to design gas connections i.e. how much to excavate in both public and private land, diameter of pipes (it's all 25mm), corner connections, meter boxes and estimates. It's pretty good, but they guy who trained me says this is a good indication that they want to keep me (I'm only a temp just now).

Anyway, went out to the pit the other night. That was pretty good. I reckon I'll be there more often, after work.

So apart from working, i've been doing the usual, like getting stoned, drinking, having a laugh. Shit like that.

New Mobile!

2006-08-11T17:39:52Z

Oh yes.

I have finally got my hands on a new mobile after my old one (R.I.P) went away to a farm with other old mobiles where they can run about and not have things like cameras and bluetooth to wory about.

This new one is actually old as well, it's a nokia 3650. But it works and that's all that matters to me.

The number is 07951859381. Feel free to add it to your phone books, but please tell me that you have via lj comment or text/phone call.

Quiz of boredom!

2006-07-20T19:16:53Z

1. Do you have any known, proven haunted houses in your town?

Yeah, we do, the old nut house is well haunted!

2. When was the last time you swore at someone:

Um... I can't recall.

3. Do you think Mel Gibson should have made “The Passion...”?

Don't care.

4. Would you rather spend money on feeding the starving or new shoes?

I could do with some new shoes.

5. When your pants are too long for you, do you take them to a tailor to have them taken up or do you just roll up the cuffs?

Lol, do i look like the kind of person who gives a shit about that?

6. Do you feel it is better to burn out than to fade away?

Like live fast, die young? yeah, sure.

7. Do you think that everyone in the world is prejudiced in one way or another?

Yeah

8. Do you ever type in alternating capital and lowercase letters?

No!

9. Would you like George Bush more if he was good looking?

Nope, never ask me something like that again.

10. Were you offended by Prince Harry wearing a fake Nazi uniform to a private costume party?

Isn't the Royal family part German? Celebrating his roots i felt.

11. Is black nail polish simply a color or a statement of individuality?

It's sad, enough said on the matter.

12. Do you own any “granny” underwear?

No, that would be werid cuz i'm like a guy.

13. Does your favorite movie have a male or female protagonist?

*thinks* male

14. Do we only die because we accept death as an inevitability?

Is that not from a movie or something?

15. Is it embarrassing to buy pads/tampons?

For me, yes.

16. Do you believe in vampires?

No, don't be silly. Why, should i?

17. Do you or does anyone you know have grey eyes?

Yeah

18. Do you know how to whistle?

Yes, I like to whistle.

19. Is Hollywood too skinny?

Not really, it's a pretty big word i think.

20. Did Romeo really love Juliet?

I dunno, ask him.

21. Were the events of 9/11 more or less traumatic than the assassination of JFK?

Can i say about the same cuz they were both tragic events?

22. Is it really so wrong to kiss somebody when you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Well, what are we talking about? like a peck on the cheek or a full blown snog?

23. Do you think teenagers have an unjustified lack of respect for the police?

Yes.

24. Do you fear God’s wrath?

No.

25. Do you think intelligent people are a minority?

No, just hidden.

26. Do you often practice what you preach?

Yeah.

27. Should the Democratic Party dissolve itself?

Couldn't give a toss.

28. Is smoking weed acceptable or just another way to escape?

I'd say it was acceptable, but of course i would.

29. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people?

Not really.

30. Are you drawn to people with psychological problems?

Hmm, no.

31. Do you want to be abducted by aliens?

Nope.

32. Do you have a fear of going to court?
No

33. Do you think there are a lot of differences between American residents and British residents?
Yes, we're smarter.

34. Do you think it is strange to see a woman who is a diehard sports fan?

Heh, kinda, but hey, modern times and all that.

35. Should indigo be a color of the rainbow?
It is isn't it?

36. Would you marry for fame?
Nope.

37. Do you prefer wooden floors or carpets?
I... have no answer for that.

38. Do you think animals are capable of deeper thought?
Depends, when the dogs sees a bone, does it think, "oh, a bone" or does it think, "ah, a bone, why am i conditioned to love the bone, i think i'd rather have the meat that was attached to said bone. Oh look, a squirrel."?

39. Do you think most women are feminists these days?
heh, i'm not sure, with girl power gone, i think they've gone back to how they used to be, but i guess they can be.

40. What are better: contacts or glasses?
Glasses

41. Do you ever get the urge to pull out your hair?
Nope.

42. Do you think Bush is a bad man?
Heh, I'd say misguided.

43. Ever get paranoid that the government is watching you through your web camera?

I don't have a web cam.

44. Do you care if people take offense to things you say or do?

Not really. I have a mind, so i'll speak it.

45. Do you think designer shops are over-priced?
Yeah

46. Are insane asylums more creepy or helpful?
Home, nah, creepy.

47. Is it possible to hate someone and love them at the same time?
Yes.

48. Do you think Disney World is a trap led by a mouse?
No.

49. Would you marry someone even if they were poor?

I would yeah, cuz it's about love isn't it?

50. Do you think it is right for religions to criticize other religions?
Nah, live and let live i say.

51. Do you think that crying is what makes us human?
I suppose so.

52. When chewing gum, can you blow a bubble?
Yes.

53. Do you have a celebrity crush?
Yeah

54. If Bush came to visit your town, would you go see him?
I guess so, i'd hand him and IQ test to find out the truth.

55. Do you have patience with children?
I have to a limit.

56. Do you like Gwen Stefani better in No Doubt or as a solo artist?
No Doubt, they rocked.

57. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a whore?
Yeah.

58. Do you have a good luck charm?
No.

59. What is the better cartoon: Spongebob or Scooby Doo?
Scooby doo.

60. Men: boxers or briefs?

Boxers.

61. Women: underwear or not?
Underwear.

62. Do you own a thong?
No

63. When you sing, do you use your hands?
If i'm holding a mic i think so.

64. Is your best friend less than a year apart from your own age?
Yes.

65. Are you a salt or sugar person?
salt, i'm sweet enough.

66. Are you a noisy chewer?
Depends, i'm noisy when stoned

67. Do you get annoyed when you see other teenagers driving nice, new, expensive cars?

No.

68. Would you rather be in love or have a lot of friends?
Lots of friends.

69. Is lunch the best part of school for you?
no, not being there was.

70. Was the Cheshire Cat secretly laughing at Alice and purposely misleading her?

Yes.

71. Do you believe Colin Farrell is a good actor?
No. I believe he's shit.

72. Do you remember when swearing was a really bad thing to do?
Yes.

73. Do you prefer questions about religion or politics?
Neither.

74. Do you have a tire swing?
No.

75. Do you have a secret identity?
No.

76. Do you think Bill Cosby is racist?
Isn't he black, so is he racist against white people? if so, doesn't bother me

77. Are crazy people a barrel of fun?
what, like actualy crazy people? no, they're troubled.

78. Do your friends make fun of your religion or beliefs?
No. Most of them have the same beliefs as me...i.e. no beliefs.

79. Do you have a night light?
No. My bedroom has to be really dark before i sleep.

80. Would you ever date someone you used to baby sit?
I never baby sat.

81. Are you a land lover or a water baby?
Land lover.

82. Do you think that smoking should be banned from public places?
What, like in the street? cuz i can't smoke in pubs now anyway.

83. Do you feel that one day the clouds will part and it will be your time to shine?
Pass the bucket!

84. Which mountain range – the Appalachians or the Rockies?
Who cares?

85. Do you feel sorry for president Bush, since he is one of the most ridiculed world leaders ever?
Nope.

86. Do you consider the major religions to be in competition with each other?
Yeah, for higher numbers. It's a lot like television.

87. Is hiding the truth the same thing as telling a lie?
Suppose so.

88. Do you feel pretty, witty and gay right now?
I feel witty, i've never felt pretty or gay for that matter.

89. Did you know the alphabet before you went to school?
I dunno, i think i did.

90. Would you support a Constitutional Amendment allowing foreign-born citizens to run for president, just so Arnold Schwarzenegger has a chance?
heh, only if i could be the president. I can say shit like he can.

91. Does the concept of aliens and UFOs frighten you?
Not really. If such a being excisted, wouldn't it want to contact us for a larger scale of communication?

92. Can watching sports become a sickness?
No, saying that, I did watch 95% of world cup games this year.

93. Do you ever have sexual dreams about people you dislike?

I dunno.

94. Is Coca-Cola overrated?
Not really.

95. Do you know the Macarena?
Of course.

96. Do you collect anything?
I collect hangovers, lol.

97. Which is an uglier fashion trend: Ugg boots or ponchos/shawls?
Ugg boots

98. Name all the illegal drugs you’ve taken?

Weed, speed, E, coke, more weed.

99. Do you like to go fishing?
No

100. How many people do you truly hate?

No one. life's too short for that.

Yesterday...

2006-07-16T13:11:12Z

... was fucking amazing.

Muzz and I went to the meadows, where we met daisy and had a bit of frisbee fun. Jen, Kayleigh and gareth showed up and so did adam and scott. dooge and nanook showed up as well. had some banter and munchies (^2) showed up. the rest of the afternnon ened up with us playing frisbee, smoking some weed and general tomfoolery. was given a mumu to wear by kayleigh, which was fantastic! Oh, ali, keith and alison showed up as well, which was cool.

after a while, folk left and shit like that, so it was just myself, dooge and daisy left, we chatted and smoked more weed, and then myself and daisy went to the chippy to get some munch and ran into a shaved fams, wtf?

mission is now called retribution or redemption or something like that. new drinks promos are fab, so needless to say, drunk hamwise in a mumu. can't recall much of the mission, but i got a taxi back with muzz and vikki.

all in all, a fucker of a day, so i'm all happy.

peace out

wise

_hamwise_ @ 2006-07-14T18:19:00

2006-07-14T17:24:18Z

hey everyone.

for those who don't know, i've closed my company, so i'm looking for work now.

so what's new with me? not much to be honest, apart from work. i'm sitting here in my empty house cuz everyone is out or at work. I'm bored.

ohh, good news on the music front. there is a band in edinburgh called the dust puppets, who are looking for a new singer, step forward me. i've been practising my vocals a lot, singing in my room or in the shower. writing new material as well, which is pretty sweet. we're gonna arrange a practise, so we can get down to work.

heh, i shall be out and about tomorrow. no doubt i'll spend a large part of my day in the meadows, i'll do something after that, then head to the mission. i didn't go out at all last week, so i'm gonna have to make up for it with some hardcore drinking. :)

anyway, that's all folks.

peace.

_hamwise_ @ 2006-05-31T20:30:00

2006-05-31T19:31:50Z

Half past 8 at night and yes, i'm still at work...

Now this is a late night at the office.