my friend's depressed she's a wreck she's a mess they've done all sorts of tests and they guess it has something to do with her grandmother's grandfather's grandmother civil war soldiers who badly infected her my friend has maladies rickets and allergies that she dates back to the seventeenth century somehow she manages in her misery strips in the city and shares all her best tricks with me well i'm well well i mean i'm in hell well i still have my health at least that's what they tell me if wellness is this what in hells name is sickness mary have mercy now look what i've done but don't blame me because i can't tell where i come from and running is something that we've always done well and mostly i can't even tell what i'm running from i run from their pity from responsibility run from the country and run from the city i can run from the law i can run from myself i can run for my life i can run into debt i can run from it all i can run until i'm gone i can run for the office and run from the cause i can run using every last ounce of energy i cannot i cannot i cannot run from my family.

you may be flat, but you're breathing

who the fuck cares?

stick your heart inside of my chest, keep it warm here while we rest.

All I see are dark grey clouds in the distance, moving closer with every hour. So, when you ask, "Is something wrong?" I think, "You're damn right there is but, we can't talk about it now. No, we can't talk about it now."

i want to kill myself.

LAST:
1. cigarette: never have, never will
2. drink: coke
3. kiss: 2 weeks ago
4. hug: today
5. movie seen: saw 3
6. cd played: the blood brothers
7. song listened to: track 9
8. bubble bath: about a month ago
9. time you cried: monday
.
8 Have You Evers:

1. dated one of your best friends: yeah
2. skinny dipped: no
3. kissed somebody and regretted it: yeah
4. fallen in love: i don't know
5. lost someone you loved: yeah
6. been depressed: yeah
7. been drunk and threw up: yeah
8. ran away: yeah

7 States You've Been To:

1. Florida
2. New York
3. Connecticut
4. Massachusetts
5. Pennsylvania
6. Maryland
7. Deleware

6 Things You've Done Today:

1. Typed an essay
2. Made cinnamon rolls
3. Went to CCX
4. Went to Mcdonalds with Marc, Colhain (sp?), and Eric
5. Shower
6. Laundry

5 Things You Love:

1. mom
2. my cat
3. sleeping
4. trying different foods
5. getting lost

4 People You Last Talked To:

1. Colin
2. Matt
3. Britt
4. Marc

3 Wishes:

1. That everyone that I love and care about will be happy one day, even if it means that I won't
2. Not have to go to school anymore
3. For people to say what they mean, and mean what they say to me

2 Things You Want To Be When You Grow Up:

1. I reallly would like to be a model, but it'll never happen cause I'm too short, so I'll settle for
2. make-up artist/beauty consultant (because then I can still work in the industry)

1 Thing You Regret:

1. almost everything

Yesterday was my last make-up class, and for our final project we had to either select a model or use ourselves to demonstrate a make-up design that had a theme. My theme was a Victoria's Secret Angel, and I used myself. ^_^

( mug shot <img src= )

Today, I purchased this:








1985 Volkswagen Golf
2 door
Ginster Yellow re-spray
1.8 8V Automatic (lol i know, but with some time and some cash, it WILL be changed)
Westmorland front end
Sun roof
Serius satellite radio w/ Sony speakers

mine

This is my schedule, comment if we have anything together. Classes and teachers are in period order (obviously), just stating that so there is no confusion.

1. Enviornmental Science Room 251 (didn't say who the teacher was)
2. English Room 166 Cielusniak
3. Advanced Drawing and Painting Room 218 Hughes
4. Psychology Room 249 Watson (first and second marking period)/ Forensic Science Room 215 Kirby (third and fourth marking period)
5. Lunch
6. Gym/Health Room 136 Kilday (second marking period)
7. Latin 5 Honors Room 243 Lloyd
8. Anatomy and Physiology Room 222 Spiller
9. Precalc Room 171 Mahoney

Fuck you, family. Let's buy Lanie a $1500 laptop and a new flat screen monitor to go with it because she broke it, and let's buy her a flat screen tv, and let's give her hundreds of dollars to go to Florida for spring break, and let's fund her cruise to Bermuda this week, because you know she does absolutely nothing around the house and just sits on her ass all day eating all of the food in the house and taking up space. Now, what does Lauren get? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! (minus sunglasses, but that doesn't even nearly compare to what she gets). I KNOW! Maybe I should just sit on MY ass all day and do nothing but eat and maybe they will do nice things for me too! BECAUSE GOD KNOWS I'M NOT GETTING SHIT NOW!

Oh, this goes out to a select few...
STOP WITH THE GAY ASS LJ POSTS, BECAUSE NOBODY CARES AND YOU'RE JUST TAKING UP FRIEND'S PAGE SPACE.

THIS SUMMER FUCKING SUCKED. DIE. DIEDIEEEEEEEDIEEEEEEDIE. DIE.

Dear Live Journal Idiots,

My kitty has been missing for 6 days. Either is dead or has been leading a secret double life. :[
Need more money.
Hot weather sucks.
Dad has gone to California for 3 days, thank God.
Summer school ends on Thursday, will miss newly acquired summer school friends, Eric and Alex.
Photoshoot for Seventeen on Thursday.
Modeling thingy for Teen Vogue next Tuesday.
Lady in the Water was amazing, and I don't care what you say about it or about M. Night Shyamalan, because he's brilliant and has brought back individuality and originality (something movies nowadays severely lack) to the screen.
Went to awesome Indian-food-for-cheap place with Ursula in Parsippany.
Visit to Drew U. on Friday.
Izumi with Markus? and Rocky Horror on Saturday.
Work tomorrow.
To whom it may concern: I hold grudges for a long time. Don't think I'll forget this.

fuck you.

i have made a list of colleges that i shall look at this summer and possibly apply to. yes, i do realize that i most likely won't get in to a couple of these, but trying can't hurt. keep any negative comments to yourself, because quite frankly i don't really give a damn about your opinions or who you are, and i will bitch you out and make you cry. <3

IN ORDER OF LOCATION!

Massachusetts:
- Boston University (Boston, MA)
- Massachusetts College of Art (Boston, MA)
- Suffolk University (Boston, MA)

New Jersey:
- Drew University (Madison, NJ)
- Montclair State University (Montclair, NJ)
- Seton Hall University (South Orange, NJ)

New York:
- New York University (New York, NY)
- Pace University (New York, NY)
- Pratt Institute (Brooklyn, NY)

my user pic is really fucking annoying. h8

fuck

afi was awesome. they gained back my love and respect.

busy ass week. very fun, though. ^^ last day of school tomorrow and graduation, then friday: afi. woo. too bad the new cd sucks. goodnight.

time for an update.

- afi's new album is terrible
- finally got a job, working at tony's touch of italy
- finals start this week
- school is almost over
- kristen got her license wooo
- lanie's birthday yesterday, she's 15 now
- finally have a car of my own
- 5 baby fish and 3 bigf fish are still alive
- senior picture is next saturday
- disappointed

i hate my dad.

one of my fish had babies, so i have a bunch of mini fish now. ^_^

happy 13 month anniversary, mark. :]

ahh headache. >_< haven't updated in a long ass time.

eee i might be getting a job at petsmart with donna, trevor mackey, and lauren heeeeeaaaavner (sp? terribly sorry, lauren). i went for an interview today. i would be working in the specialty department, taking care of the fish, birds, hamsters, lizards, chinchillas, etc. i really hope i get the job, i've been talking too long about getting one and nothing has happened yet, so who knows. the woman said she had to interview two other people, and that she would call whoever she chose. hopefully my chance of getting the job will be increased cause i know donna, lauren, and trevor. sleepy, goodnight.