K I need to change me hair.

( This is what my hair looks like right now. )

I'm so bored lately when I look in the mirror. I stopped dyeing my hair because I was tired of the upkeep and more tired of damaging my hair and healing it and repeating the process. I'm now getting sick of the color though, or at least the flatness of it. I'm tirred of it. I don't want to do anything severe with dye though. Certainly no excessive bleaching. What if I do extensions? I haven't had long hair in quite a while. Long wavy hair during the cold months sounds fun. I don't know anything about extensions, though. Hmmmm.


Last night I read while Donovan finished up some things for school. He's nervous about a few things right now, and consequently I'm nervous, too. I hope everything ends up alright.

We watched a neat movie, Franklyn, and goofed around on my computer until turning in for bed. It was a nice night but we're both not over our various stresses yet. He'll be out of the woods today, hopefully, and I am, too. For now at least.


FAFSA finally went through to my school but I've been selected for verification, which just means I have to send them more documents and the time it takes to process will just be stretched even longer. It's going to come really close, but I think things will all be sorted in time. I hope I get enough financial aid to cover the semester, or at least enough so I can manage the rest of it.

Now Donovan's off to school and I'm on his couch thinking about my hair. My LJ's been boring lately. All serious business, mostly. Boring sentences. Whoops.

I am at Donovan's house on his couch in his entertainment room. AND I'm on my laptop. What a cool kid I am. There is a massive amount of technology in this room.

I am updating my livejournal from my beautiful new laptop. I love this thing. I'm fairly certain I don't regret buying it. I've wanted one for so long now and I got an awesome one and it's worth it. Yes.

Last night the Monday Crew ventured to The Mall of Georiga. For some reason we love that place. The car ride was hilarious. All of us were screaming and acting silly and calling Jesse dad since he was driving. Joel was in town from Atlanta so he came with us. It was great to see him. Atlanta is almost another state. I only go down there to see bands these days. At the mall we immediately crammed so much food into our faces, and then waddled around moaning about eating too much. The ride home was slightly less enthusiastic than the ride out, but it was equally hilarious. I have a pack of comedians for friends.

Donovan came over after his physics bowling party and we had a nice little late night together. I can't help but love him. We should not have stayed up so late, though, because it resulted in us both sleeping in much later than we meant to. It's a cold rainy day, so it was hard to roll out of bed.

Donovan and a couple of his friends are holding my classes so I should be able to get them again come late registration. Hopefully I'll have all my financial business sorted by then.

Donovan's almost done with school. Two more days after today. He's so deserving of this break. He's worked so hard and I'm so proud. I can't wait till we can spend more time together than just odd hours here and there.

I'm happy. I just need to relax and stop stressing. My laptop is pretty.

Well I can't afford school and they're refusing to open a financial aid file with me until my FAFSA is sent over to them. I told them it's on the way but apparently there is nothing they can do to help me. It's only late because they didn't accept me until late! Should they not be doing something to help me? I cashed my college fund to buy my fucking car. I just spent most of my savings on my computer. If I can't pay them by Wednesday at the latest my classes will be canceled. Fuck.

Am I just not meant to go to school?

Thursday night was a sleepover with Donovan and Jesse. We crashed at Donovan's because we all had early business to take care of together Friday. Jesse was using Donovan's computer(s) and I was staying over so I'd be closer to MY SCHOOL for orientation which began early Friday morning. We obviously ended up staying up way too late, Donovan and I even later because my nervous self-doubting emotions were crazy.

So Donovan, lovely little thing he is, decides to escort me to my orientation. We woke up promptly (late) and I followed him to the school. We walked together to the building housing orientation, and I stood in the "stand by" line until they took my name down. I was the last stand by to arrive or be let in, I suppose. Donovan waited with me until I was let in. I get so nervous about things some times I can barely function, but Donovan being there made it much easier.

Orientation itself was the most boring process I can imagine. 6 hours and sitting around. They did let us eat in their exciting new food court, The Commons. This would have been fantastic had they more than three vegetarian options. I am supposed to pay $350 per semester to choose from three options over and over? I will never eat 48 meals worth of that crap. Hopefully I can have my plan reduced.

I registered for classes and got a mostly good schedule. I'm going to be tired 100% of the time from going to school early every morning Monday through Friday and closing at work Tuesday through Friday. I'll have my long mid shift on Saturdays still, and then Sunday will be my only day off between school and work. Awesome. Also classes start on mine and Donovan's anniversary. What will be doing to celebrate two years together? Learning.

After orientation I was not excited or happy about school at all. I just felt drained and a little sad. I still don't know how I'm going to pay my fees for school. All of the money I have covers just less than half of it. I should be getting some grants, but unfortunately since I was accepted late, I didn't start my financial aid process with the school until late, and deadlines are fast approaching. I'll be reimbursed with my aid later, but I don't know how to come up with the money beforehand.

So after waking up at 7:45 with about three and half or four hours of sleep, I worked until 11:30 at night. Work was kind of the worst night ever. Some stupid crap happened and basically I'll probably never talk to Derrick again. Longest day of my life.

After work I stayed with Donovan. He hugged me, muttering "come here" and pulling me into him tightly, inhaling as he did so. With my face cradled between his neck and shoulder, one of my favorite spaces on the human body, I noticed the warmth of him, and the bittersweetness of his arms around me: sweet the way he cares so much, bitter the reasons for this embrace. I felt at home then, complete in a world of fractional, broken things.

Last night Darcy, Nanner and I went out for a long-overdue girl's night. We went up to the Mall of Georgia and walked around, staring at shops and drinking smoothies. We rediscovered the secret village we explored the last time we were there. This time it had a tiny wonderland of Christmas lights inside of it. Inside the wonderland was the grave site of Santa Claus. I forgot to bring my camera along, which I regret. We explored Haverty's furniture gallery and mentally decorated our future mansions. We found a tempurpedic bed inside a curtained-off room and lay on it, feeling like we were floating, until we realized we needed to rush off to get to our movie on time. We saw New Moon, pretended we hadn't all seen it before, and giggled and poked fun at the the whole time. We ended the night with hot chocolate at Waffle House, and finally got home around 1am. And of course throughout the night there was plenty of girly talking, which none of us ever get to do much of lately. Girl's night was desperately needed.

Today I've gotten my passport applied for and paid for, picked up the third and final book in the Deepgate Codex, God of Clocks, and already read a good chunk of it. A great read so far.

Tomorrow I stupidly have to be at my college (I can say that now? wow) by 7:45 in the morning to wait around hoping I get a spot in their dumb freshman orientation. I wasn't accepted until AFTER registration for orientation was already closed, so their best solution for this is I have to come as a "stand by" and if another student doesn't show up, I'll be let in. Of course I'm sure I'll be one many "stand by's" and this should be a totally exciting and wonderful time! Not to mention I have to work till 11:30 pm tomorrow, and I'll also probably be late for work thanks to this. I love school already.

Just kidding, though. I'm happy about everything and even this BS with the school should be worth the trouble. And it's December and I'll have my computer soon and Christmas will be here and then it will be an exciting new year and I will have been with Donovan for two incredible years, and starting college, et cetera.

Today I was accepted to college. I also went out to get a passport for the cruise, but only half succeeded. It requires an application, it's appointment only, and it's more expensive than I anticipated, but I did get my picture taken and made an appointment for Thursday.

I also found my bracelet today.

Probably more than a year ago I bought these bracelets and Donovan and I used to wear them, always matching, until I lost mine. I found it today, perched eye-level upon my father's dresser. Weird! But I'm so glad I have it again. I missed it dearly. My little reminder. It always brought a smile to my face, knowing I have someone whose always with me, and now I have it back =)

It's a good day.

Kennesaw accepted me!

I'm getting just over $250 cash back from the purchase of my computer thanks to bing.com's cashback program. Lovely. Granted I won't get it for a couple months, but it will be like a small exciting extra paycheck. I love bing.com and I love my boyfriend for all his useful knowledge and his brilliance with internet shopping =)

Saturday I pulled into Dixie's parking lot to find Derrick limping across it, a sweaty mess. Turns out he was skate boarding and Dottie and he were also playing hackey sack. It was beautiful outside and we all stood outside the building for a while, no costumers, enjoying the sunlight and the cool air. It set the tone for a nice day.

After work I met Donovan at Bestbuy. He randomly bought me a video game and he also gave me a flash drive. Super sweet of him. I'll pay him back for the flash drive. We went and had dinner and it was nice to have a little impromptu date. I probably won't see him again until he's done with his finals. Study study study.

I've applied to a tech school so if Kennesaw falls through like it appears it will at least I've got a back up plan. I really don't want to spend a year at this school but you've gotta do what you've gotta do, I suppose.

Today is another beautiful day and I'm going to Marilyn's first birthday party. She's Dottie's baby and one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. She was born last year just after I started working at Dixie. I can't believe a year has gone by!

I just bought my computer. Now I'm kind of so broke but it should be worth it. I can't wait to get it!

This week has been nice! Monday night we had Friendsgiving and feasted on lots of tasty food (most of which I cooked).

Wednesday work was fun and fast, and afterwards I went to Donovan's where we watched Serenity and the pilot episode of V. I'm not sure yet how I feel about V. It seemed a bit cliche but it has potential.

Thursday Donovan and I woke up and lazed about until guests arrived and we enjoyed a lovely meal with his lovely family. We left his house for mine where we enjoyed another meal, equally lovely, with a small portion of my family (probably the best portion). I ended up playing guitar hero with my cousin Claire before the extended family cleared out and then the rest of watched BSG: The Plan which is basically a series of jump cuts showing not quite enough of the cylon's side of season 2. It was enjoyable and interesting but not exactly like a movie.

Donovan ended up on his laptop in our living room until nearly two in the morning. I fell asleep on the couch next time him while he scoured the web for Black Friday deals. Black Friday sucks and most of the deals are shitty. No deals on my computer =( But I'm hopefully getting 200-ish cash back thanks to Bing Cashback? I hope it works.

I dreamed my car was eaten. I dreamed it was parked in a parking garage, and when I went to get back in my car after eating at a restaurant with Donovan, it was nothing but scrap metal: the front end and the rear end preserved, but the middle completely obliterated. Other cars in the area was similarly distressed, but mine was by far the worst. My belongings had all disappeared. I was late for work because of it, and my boss threatened to fire me. I spent most of the dream trying to discover what had eaten my car, with little success. Finally I got the car to a repair shop and they pieced it back together, and told me it hadn't been eaten, the middle had just been crushed.

Yesterday some annoying things happened at work. I don't even want to talk about it any more.

But after work I went to see my little geek at Best Buy. I'll never get over the Geek Squad uniform on Donovan. It's adorable. I bought Up, 4 discs, Bluray, and for 20 dollars! I just love that movie. Donovan had to rush home after work (except I accidentally kept him from rushing by rambling on to him in the parking lot about my annoying day), but I hope he enjoyed kissing and hugging me, a brief vacation from his busy life (he did).

I'm about to go see New Moon. Twilight was utter trash, so I'm hoping this installment will at least be better directed. The special effects are certainly better. But the real point is this is a girly date with my mom and my sister. MUCH needed. I'm excited.

I've possibly found the computer I'm going to buy. Thankfully my wonderful techy boyfriend is guiding me through this and encouraging me to continue shopping. Without him I'd settle for the first shiny pretty one I find. This one is pretty awesome, though, with its fancy i7 processor and HD screen and backlit keyboard, and so far it looks like the winner. It's going to cost me a pretty penny but it should be worth it. I'm waiting for Black Friday in hopes of getting a deal (again Donovan's advice. I'm such an impulsive buyer).

Last night I dreamed all of our dogs died. Horrible nightmare.

Donovan and I have been watching Firefly, but we sadly finished it yesterday. It's a shame it was canceled. It's so funny! Next we're going to watch ABC's new reimagining of V, for which I've heard tons of praise.

I finished a book last night. Upon recommendation from Donovan's cousin I read Scar Night, which turned out to be a brilliant dark fantasy about a city wrapped in chains and suspended over an abyss, and the inhabitants of the city (two angels among them). I ate the book right up and bought the sequel immediately after I finished it. Iron Angel did NOT go how I wanted to at all, so I was a bit perturbed, but the way it finished up was incredible. Unfortunately I don't have the next book! It ended on a big cliff hanger and I'm so anxious to read the conclusion. I've got it on order and I can't wait to have it in my hands.


Oh! The most exciting news is maybe I can't get in to stupid Kennesaw but I am going on a cruise with Donovan next year in March! So, SO stoked. I've never been on a cruise. I'm envisioning warm colors: sunsets all the time and the big ocean reflecting the sunsets, and his skin on my skin on the great big deck of a great big boat.

I think we're having a friend's night Thanksgiving celebration Monday. I've got the real Thanksgiving off, and we'll be having a happy little vegetarian dinner at home. I'm sure I'll also be visiting with Donovan's family, which I'm excited for because I adore his family. I hate Thanksgiving though. It's so depressing about the turkeys. It's a cruel tradition but I guess so is food in general.

Today I'm working for 8 long hours and then probably doing nothing, but at least it will finally be the weekend.

I'm so sick of talking to the people on the other line when I call Kennesaw's admissions. I'm fairly certain I've spoken with the same girl several times, and she's such a jerk! I say in my usual jolly tone, "Hi! I've got a few questions regarding my application," and she grumbles "okay..." like answering those questions is some huge burden. Lady, please just smile and be happy you're employed. I smile at nasty rednecks all day. I'm sure it's much easier to be friendly to intelligent, college-bound young adults than it is to toothless, smelly, old men who are telling you how attractive they find you. And she's so discouraging and evil. She never has a nice response to anything I say. Ugghh

OH my GPA is a 2.45 and the school requires a 2.5 damn it. They don't weight honors courses. I am .05 points too "stupid" for this school. My SAT scores are well above their minimum requirements can this please balance it out for me? Fuck, I have to get in to school. Why is there no essay for this stupid application so I can distinguish myself from the idiots. High school was years ago and I was a depressed abused moron of course I didn't get awesome grades and now it's going to kill me. I can write a great essay, Kennesaw, why don't you have an essay =(

I'm at Donovan's house. He's at school. He has a beautiful monitor. 23 inches of HD awesomeness. I think I've just realized why he craves expensive things. He just wants the objects around him to reflect how incredible he is! Okay, maybe he just likes having the best of everything...but I think these things reflect how great he is ;)

Some things have happened. I had a reunion with Maribeth. We had a sort of quiet but nasty falling out some months ago. It wasn't necessarily malicious, but it was incredibly hurtful for both of us. Anyway, for all this time I've tried to just ignore it, to try to forget the hole in my life I felt her absence left until it filled itself up. But one night I realized it could never fill itself up, and I couldn't fill it with anything else, and I thought, "what the heck? Life is too short and if I want to see her I will." So we met in a park we used to go to often, and walked and talked for what we didn't realize was hours. I felt no bitterness. I've never been able to hold a grudge. I feel a weight lifted and I think she does, too.

Monday was quite fun. We went on a dark scary railroad track adventure and then ate tasty food around a campfire.

Yesterday after work I read by myself inside of Atlanta Bread Company until Jesse was done with band practice. I then skipped the gym to instead walk around a park with Jesse (I didn't have my proper gym shoes anyway). It was the pleasant kind of cold outside. After the park, we ended up going to Walmart and buying so much bread and cheese and teddy grahams because we are fat/idiots. We ate basically all the bread and cheese and teddy grahams and acted like fools while we awaited Donovan's arrival. Donovan showed up and we watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia until we somehow ended up down in Jesse's room: Donovan, Jesse, Justin, and me, lying on top of each other in a pile of Christmas bears (Jesse's bed is covered in Christmas bears).

Donovan and I came back to his placed and crashed. I woke up in the middle of the night in a bad mood because I'd accidentally fallen asleep grumpy and without even saying goodnight. Sometimes I just wake up fretful and teary eyed, like sleeping amplifies every bad feeling until it's crushing me, and I wake up drowning. This morning Donovan held me as we slowly gained consciousness and it's all okay.

Except it's not okay because my stupid SAT scores have still not been received by the college I'm trying to go to! So I finally called the damn school, told them "hey! I had one set of scores sent out about a month ago. They were sent on October 16 according to collegeboard.com. I got nervous, though, that they wouldn't arrive in time so I had another set of scores rush shipped this week. Have any of my scores arrived?" ONLY TO LEARN the school NEVER received ANY scores sent October 16. Collegeboard.com DID NOT send them, at all. Apparently the error was discovered and the Oct 16 scores have been resent this week, so my scores should be accepted late, if my name is on the Oct 16 list. It had better be on that list. They have received no new scores this week, so my "rush" scores aren't there either. I have spent 46 dollars just sending my SAT scores, and I want my money back.

Donovan is hilarious.

( Joey got a tatto/I went on a date with Donovan )

Well, I've just returned home from quite an eventful day/night at work.

Before I got there, Derrick and Luke were burning leaves in the parking lot. Derrick, alone and unaware Luke had put some dry, unburned leaves in the dumpster, disposed of some ashes into the dumpster. He wonders whether it will be alright but when nothing happens for some time he goes back to raking, only to notice later the dumpster is spewing smoke. He tried to put it but this only made the fire spread, and he realized the fire was melting the dumpster's plastic lid. He lifted the lid to get it away from the flames but this sent the flames higher, singing his hair and burning his arms. Jeez, Derrick! Derrick runs in for help and Luke apparently takes his time about getting out there with a bucket, not expecting the inferno he's greeted with. He apparently says something to the effect of "holy shit! There really is a fire!" And the two proceed to put the fire out with countless buckets of water.

Derrick's and Luke's retellings of this were hilarious. Derrick's put me on the floor with laughter.

I gave Chloe a very long piggy back ride (I even rang up a customer with her clinging to my back!). She also gave me catching lessons. I love ten-year-olds!

My first boyfriend, Justin Crider, came in to the store. We had a brief friendly exchange.

Also there was a very angry man screaming and cussing because he dropped his 12 pack of Corona outside and we wouldn't replace it.

Also a stupid ass hole stole Powerade from us =(

AND Derrick caught a pack of thieves who recently stole some expensive tequila from us.


And to top it all off, an older man and a young girl who is obviously in high school (Woodstock High School hoodie on) come in and Derrick lets the girl use the bathroom. He's walking in front of her so he doesn't notice, but I see she is leaning on the bottles she walked by so I knew something wasn't right with her. While she's in the restroom her dad buys something and then leaves to wait for her. She comes out saying "have you seen my dad?" We point her to her dad, she goes over to him, and says

"HEY DID YOU KNOW THIS IS MY DAD?

CAN YOU BELIEEEVVE HE'S GETTING ME DRRRUUNNKK RIGHT NOW?!"


So we just kind of stare, trying not to laugh. Then she's walking around and knocks a bottle over but it doesn't fall to the ground. Then for some reason her dad saw fit to go back outside?
And she said

"THAT'S MY DAD
HE'S HERE NOW
BUT HE WAS GONE FOR A YEAR
I MEAN, CAN YOU CALL THAT A FATHER? A WHOLE YEAR"

And then she COLLAPSES onto the counter CRYING HER HEAD OFF. Derrick goes up to her and rubs her shoulders and asks if she'll be okay. Her dad comes back in and starts dragging her out.

Just before they're out the door, she looks to me and Derrick and shouts

"I LOVE YOU GUYS I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK"