The cat hasn't caught anything in quite a while. Generally he's been two busy sleeping on the bed, shedding his coat, purring, yowling randomly and shagging anything even faintly resembling a female cat - in a certain light, if you squint slightly and wish really hard.

Today though, something new.

First, instead of falling asleep on the bed and practising his cute poses to whore fish from us as he usually does, he stayed out. Until I quite suddenly heard thumping and purring and meowing coming from the hallway. Upon emerging I see something small and grey shooting past the cat into the living room.

'Uh oh.'

Thinks I, another poor helpless animal either being chewed or shagged to death by our intrepid moggy. With good deeds in mind I leap to the rescue, grabbing the cat and bundling him into the spare toilet (the one shattered and unusable - also thanks to the cat) and then back into the living room to see something not quite so small as I had thought run along the wall.

'Fuckin' 'ell! Its a rat!' says I falling on my arse in an effort to get the hell away from it, only to have the thing lollop past me making a b-line for 'under something too heavy for you to move'.

Yes, lollop.

Because it wasn't a rat, it was a baby bunny.

Swiftly I grabbed the poor thing and got it into a box with a blanky and some dandelion leaves.

Off to the wildlife sanctuary with Mr (or Mrs) bunny a bit later.

by cat, send lifting gear

I was awoken
By a single thunderclap
And a cuddly cat

At... one moment, let me check by delicate scientific equipment... STUPID o'clock this morning there was a single, deafening clap of thunder and the skies dumped what sounded like a huge bucket of rain on the ground all at once.  It didn't last long but the thunderclap was deafening and the cat, usually blase to such things, jumped onto the bed in terror and insisted on cuddling.  Since then I haven't been able to get back to sleep properly, though I had some strange dreams about rain.  The cat was content to cuddle at my feet (converting his weight to six tons in the process) until - and this is the really unusual part - I woke up before him.

I was tempted, momentarily, by the thought of revenge.  To claw at him, to knock his toys loudly onto the ground, to meow like a klaxon into his ear or to try and mate with his head (all tactics he uses to wake me up at 6am or earlier) but in the end they seemed like too much effort. Full of cheap catfood and drunk on catnip he has now lurched out into the morning light to terrorise birds, small mammals and female cats with equal measure, sort of like a furry, and cuter, Oliver Reed.

Leaving me, awake but tired.

Bloody weather.

Grrr, while atmospheric, late night fights with other cats, on top of large metal objects are to be avoided.

3 voles
1 mouse
1 finch
1 fully grown woodpigeon

Caught and mangled a pigeon.
I thought it was dead.
It isn't.
It MAY have a broken wing as after recovery period it still couldn't fly.

I've called the wildlife care centre people, but they haven't called back.
So its sat in a box, looking like a pigeon and the cat is exiled.

Arsebadgers.

Finished the work I needed to do today by 10:15.

Of course, the cat DID wake me up at 06:30.

Cat constantly getting me up early is playing havoc with my brain. Can't concentrate worth a poop and keep making rookie spelling mistakes.

Grr.

36 day months are hard on the larder and the finances.

*considers eating cat*
*Realises people will use that to make 'eating pussy' jokes*
*Posts it anyway*

Yes Charlie, you're a very cute cat, but rolling about on my tablet mewling doesn't let me get any work done.

No, nor does biting my ankles.

Is SUCH a cuddle-hog. He won't leave me alone today and keeps demanding cuddles. He's been purring like a miniature chainsaw all morning.

A week of shifting stuff around and various other interruptions (not to mention having my sleep disturbed by the kitten snuggling me and purring like a chainsaw EVERY morning at 4am) has left me uninspired and without enough energy or enthusiasm to write, or indeed, do anything.

This is poo.

Got the next thing roughly 50% written and all planned out, just can't get into the right headspace to finish it.

He was stuck in the back of a drawer in the computer room, but didn't start mewing for help until 6:00 am.

So relieved he's OK.

Now he's playing with his mouse in the kitchen.

Charlie is missing.

We think he slipped out the only open window in the house, but he can't jump that high and hates being by himself. Either way, he's missing :(

Shit...

Sweet as anything. Check Donna's moblog for pictures.

He doesn't like being left alone though, has to follow me to every room. If he's alone for more than about 10 minutes he starts crying. Poor little mite.

He's quite brave though, he's explored every room and he slept on Donna's pillow last night :)

Good thing: Kittens!
Bad thing: Hot. Too damn hot. Grim no like hot.

In other news: The new mage still looks like a big pile of shit to me. So disappointed, but not surprised.

In still other news: I need more money, which means I need to work harder, which is hard to do when its hot and horrible.

Yuck.