Sydney

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 22:31:27 GMT

NEW JOURNAL.

wthreench

Add that one. From now on, friends only.

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 19:09:52 GMT

Hey, all you cool Forumopolis people.

If you could just comment here if you see this and tell me who you are on Forumopolis, I'll study the list for hours and commit each of you dears to memory.

EDIT: Okay, in light of recent adding a ton of new people, if you were on my old friends list and still want to be on and I delete you, let me know.

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 01:17:46 GMT

Got this from someone else's journal.

Post the lyrics to your 4 favourite songs that you think reflect you.

Drops of Jupiter (Train)
All Star (Smash Mouth)
Meet Virginia (Train)
To the Moon and Back (Savage Garden)

Train - Drops of Jupiter

Now that shes back in the atmosphere,
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey.
She acts like summer and walks like rain.
Reminds me that theres time to change, hey, hey.
Since the return from her stay on the moon,
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey.

Tell me did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded?
And that heaven is overrated?

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star,
One without a permanent scar?
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there?

Now that shes back from that soul vacation,
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey,
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo.
Reminds me that theres time to grow, hey, hey.

Now that she's back in the atmosphere,
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane.
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land.

Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day,
And head back to the milky way?
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken?
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong?
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation,
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me?

Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day,
And head back toward the milky way?

Smash Mouth - All Star

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me.
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an L on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming,
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running.
Didn't make sense not to live for fun:
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do so much to see,
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go.
You'll never shine if you don't glow.
Hey now, you're an all star. Get your game on. Go play.
Hey now, you're a rock star. Get the show on. Get paid.
And all that glitters is gold.
Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder.
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older.
But the meteor men beg to differ,
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin.
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim.
My worlds on fire, how about yours?
That's the way I like it and I never get bored.
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas;
I need to get myself away from this place.
I said, "Yep, what a concept.
I could use a little fuel myself.
And we could all use a little change."
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming.
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running.
Didn't make sense not to live for fun:
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do so much to see,
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go.
You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Train - Meet Virginia

She doesn't own a dress.
Her hair is always a mess.
You catch her stealin' she won't confess.
She's Beautiful.

Smokes a pack a day, oh wait,
That's me, but anyway,
She doesn't care a thing
About that, hey,
She thinks I'm beautiful.
Meet Virginia.

She never comprimises,
Loves babies and surprises,
Wears high heels when
She exercises.
Ain't it beautuiful?
Meet Virginia.

Well she wants to be the Queen.
Then she thinks I'll bow her scene.
Pulls her hair back as she screams,
"I don't really wanna be the Queen!"

Daddy wrestles alligators.
Mama works on carborators.
Her brother is a fine mediator
For the president.
And here she is again on the phone.
Just like me, hates to be alone.
We just like to sit home
and rip on the President.
Meet Virginia, mmmm...

Well, she wants to live her life.
Then she thinks about her life,
Pulls her hair back, as she screams,
"I don't really wanna live this life!"

She only drinks coffee at midnight,
When the moment is not right.
Her timing is quite unusual.
You see her confidence is tragic, but her intuitions magic,
and the shape of her body unusual.

Meet Virgina. I can't wait to
Meet Virginia.

Savage Garden - To the Moon and Back

She's taking her time, making up the reasons
To justify all the hurt inside.
Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes,
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one.
They're saying, "Mama never loved her much"
And, "Daddy never keeps in touch
That's why she shies away from human affection".
But somewhere in a private place,
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him,
She's sayin'...

"I would fly up to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby,
I've got a ticket for a world where we belong,
So would you be my baby?"

She can't remember a time when she felt needed.
If love was red, then she was color blind.
All her friends, well they've been trialed for treason
And crimes that were never defined.
She's saying, "Love is like a barren place,
And reaching out for human faith,
It's like a journey I just don't have a map for".
So baby's gonna take a dive and
Push the shift to overdrive.
Send a signal that she's hanging
All her hopes on the stars.
What a pleasant dream.
She's sayin...

"I would fly up to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby.
I've got a ticket for a world where we belong,
So would you be my baby?"

Hold on, hold on ...

Mama never loved her much
And Daddy never keeps in touch.
That's why she shies away from human affection.
But somewhere in a private place,
She packs her bags for outer space.
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him,
She's sayin...

"I would fly up to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby.
I've got a ticket for a world where we belong,
So would you be my baby?"

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 00:31:25 GMT

Wee! Done with school. I just have a Government final on Monday. I have to get an 83 on the final to make an A in the class. I think it's do-able. And I got accepted to UGA today. That should be exciting or something, but I find it partially depressing. That's completely not where I want to go, but oh well. Honestly, I don't want to go anywhere. I'm burnt out on learning ridiculous stuff that I will never use.

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:13:18 GMT

I just found the perfect cards. They're so retarded!

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 00:52:18 GMT

It's so sweet that some of you guys are sending out Christmas cards! I would, but I can't find the box that I got...maybe if I find them, I'll be taking addresses later.

But you guys are all so sweet, really.

So, this is the last week of school. And then I have finals, but only one in reality - AP Government. I exempted all the others, which is really nice. However, Government is pretty crucial at this point between an A and a B. I'm not sweating it though. I seem to always pull it out, no matter how impossible it seems.

And then, I guess we're going up to Wisconsin and Michigan for Christmas. Again. My grandfather is doing really terribly, so this might be the last time. I almost got away with not going up for 3 years or something like that. Alas. My family is so crazy, but at least if I go this time, I'll take a bunch of pictures. I realized yesterday that I have no pictures really of all these places.

Oh, and I'm going to read the latest Harry Potter over the break. Finally. Yeah, I know all the spoilers, but I think it's still worth reading.

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 01:58:50 GMT

Last night was Powderpuff. We won again this year! Yay! That's a record or something.

I've been meaning to ask, does anyone else have Facebook?

And this is really terrible...but I've started watching Drawn Together. It's so horrible and shameful, but so so good.

Random, why yes.

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 01:34:49 GMT

I've been slipping back into mild depression, which you might have been able to tell if you've talked to me lately. I'm not really sure what brings on these months, but I know this one time. I'm so depressed about thinking "this is my last start to a regular school" and "this is my last Thanksgiving home". It really brings tears to my eyes when I think about how much I'm going to be missing and how much I love my family and want to stay with them.

Once I get to college, it'll be okay after a while, but right not, it's absolutely agonizing. My dad just came in a stood behind me and I was like, "What's up?" And he said, "Just looking at my beautiful daughter." It's that sort of thing that just makes me want to really sob...

I'm a little worried about college just because I feel so alone and lonely here at home, surrounded by supporting friends and family. What happens when I am actually alone? Sure, I can talk myself out of it for a day or two, but it's the overall feeling that persists. And while I am a completely rational person, this depression makes me do really scary stuff that I wouldn't normally do and sometimes later, I don't know why I did it even. I know it didn't make me feel better. But I guess my body doesn't want to listen to my mind.

So, yeah. I'm a little scared and pretty depressed. If this doesn't get better, I'm not going back to talk to Dr. Patterson again. That did me no good. Talking about it makes it worse because - as cliche as it sounds - it makes me acknowledge how much I'm actually hurting. Maybe I'll ask for medication. I just want to feel better.

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 00:47:34 GMT

My dad got me a new MP3 player today. He had all these songs on it, which are my favourites. I know my dad really loves me and knows me well, but I'm shocked by how well he knew what sort of music I love. All my favourite groups, songs...he's awesome. Major hearts.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:29:37 GMT

I now have a 750 word essay plus a normal application (and any essays that requires) to do tonight for a college I don't even want to go to.

And then ACT tomorrow at 8:00. Then Homecoming. Then church at 8:30. Then a new school week with a test for every class. Then SAT 8:00 next Saturday. Then church at 8:30 again. And then another new week of school.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 20:00:36 GMT

Apparently it's stress and a down immune system that's made me sick. I think I'm just a bit run down. I'm feeling better, but it's not gettting less stressful. Hopefully it will after next week.

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 23:14:33 GMT

I've been really stressed lately...for like...weeks. And this week is really bad for about 10 reasons. But I thought I could handle it...

I laid down about an hour ago for just a few minutes, because that was all I could sleep before I woke up and started coughing. Blood. And then I ended up throwing up about 5 times.

I don't know what's wrong. I hope it's not something serious.

I just really want to take a break from all this. I don't know how much longer I can do this.</lj-cut?

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 23:13:20 GMT

So...this week is Homecoming week. I'm going to Homecoming with Tylar. It could be fun, then again, it could not. It'll depend on his mood. I hate stuff like that. Ah well.

Monday: PJ Day
Tuesday: Toga Day/Half Day
Wednesday: Decade Day
Thursday: Tacky Day/Bonfire
Friday: Spirit Day/Parade/Game
Saturday: Homecoming
Sunday: Recovery

Yeah, I'm going to have so much fun I'm going to need to recover. ~~Oh yeah.~~

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 19:47:06 GMT

Today was the day from hell.

I still haven't applied to any colleges. I think I'm only going to apply to one anyway, oh well. I'm burnt out on the whole issue.

Today was appropriately Friday the 13th. Government test, Literature test, Calculus test, Anatomy quiz. It went well all in all. I sort of sacrificed the Government to do well on the Calculus, but I feel okay about it.

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 23:22:57 GMT

Rant.

I'm really sick of my boyfriend living so far away...so sick that I can't even begin to describe it. It is really, really terrible. All the time. Every minute of every day. It really is conciously part of me every moment.

"Why don't guys around here like you?" "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" "Have you ever dated anyone?" "I've heard you're lesbian." "You wouldn't understand being in a serious relationship like the one I am in." "It's just to be with someone. I don't even really like him." "I love her."

No one gets it. Seriously. No one. Even people who are in long distance relationships don't really get it. I'm pretty tired of counciling my friends on their relationships. I don't want to talk about relationships. I want to pretend like they don't exist and that everyone else's is just as valid or not valid as mine. I don't want people to pretend they care or think they understand because...they just really really don't.

No, it's not like the time you dated that guy over that summer in 5th grade.
No, it's not like your fake MySpace girlfriend of the weekend.
No, you really don't have an idea what's going on.
No, I don't need your sympathy.

Sometimes when I have enough time to sit down and see things clearly, I realize just how empty my life is. I could distract myself from the fact by making myself busy again, but that only works for so long. I feel so hollow on the inside. I'm beginning to wonder if even when stuff is better and my life will be going on, will I always feel hollow? I've put off so much important stuff for so long that I often wonder if when it finally comes, I will be able to enjoy it. Or maybe I'll just remember all the painful years waiting and it will be hollow.

I worked so hard to get where I am and now, for almost a million different reasons, all of my hard work means nothing. I could have gotten Bs the whole time and still gotten here. If I knew that earlier, would I have gotten Bs? No, of course not...because I have to push myself and make myself so busy that I can't sit still long enough to think about how empty I am and how all of my hard work is going to get me nowhere.

Should I keep doing that? I could get a Marketing degree in 6 years. I could get a Law degree in 8 years. Or I could be a surgeon in 14 years. Maybe the longer I distract myself with the fact that my life is passing me by, the shorter time I'll have to mourn it when I realize that I completely wasted my time and I feel empty.

It really doesn't matter anyway...after all, I'm only a lesbian who has never been on a date.

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 20:14:03 GMT

Chloe and I just got done doing the raw taping for our Mythbusters episode to submit to the Discovery Channel spoof contest. I think it's hilarious, but maybe that's just me. It'll be better once I get around to editing it.

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:28:00 GMT

A senior - same grade as me - died over the weekend of cancer. It was a really tough fight, but finally he asked for them to take off his oxygen. And then two total idiots who graduated last year got completely drunk - I don't think anyone is admitting this - and tried to drive back to Athens. One is now in a coma.

It was a huge hysterical thing today at school. I guess my views of death are odd, so that led to me being branded an unfeeling person. Not that I am. I actually think I'm probably MORE sensitive than most of the crazy mourners today. I'm not sensitive with myself and I know what I think about death and am at peace with that. So it's pretty ironic. Yeah, I know AJ really well. He was a sweet guy. But he's not in pain anymore. It's much better this way.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 19:51:39 GMT

Today was probably one of the worst normal days of my life. Yaknow, not like someone died or anything, but still. For not being out of the ordinary, it was absolutely horrendous. I can't even begin to recount all the sitcom-y type things that happened, but I'll do one.

I was at my locker with my friend and horrible teacher who I absolutely hate walks up to me and pats my shoulder and says, "Rebecca, I'm so glad that you're going to Stanford. It's such an honour that you're from GA." First of all, I'm completely upset with Rebecca El Bitcho for mercilessly rubbing it in my face every time she can that she's already been accepted to college and given a full ride, regardless that it's because of a sport, which I don't really respect. And everyone fawns over her. And she's so mean to me. She's screwed me over dozens of times ALREADY this year. I don't understand. So this is really the worst thing anyone could really say to me. I even said, "I'm not Rebecca," but she kept going on. My friend was completely appalled and said, "I can't believe that just happened. The chances are like zero." YEAH I KNOW.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 21:27:23 GMT

OH MY GAWD.

I just saw "The Illusionist". First of all, Edward Norton is to die for! Oh goodness. Second, I totally loved that movie. Definitely on my Top 5 list. So if anyone gets the chance, do see it. It's great!

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 21:24:04 GMT

I've come to an idea.

All love is necrophilia.

Seriously.

A person is attracted to someone because of the way they look. But their hair, their skin, it's all dead cells. Almost the entire visible body is dead.

Right?

Yeah.

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 21:00:06 GMT

I'm in Orlando, Florida for the Major League Gaming convention here for the weekend. My brother and 3 friends came down for the weekend with my mother, my dad, and myself. They're so exciting and having so much fun. Last night, they were up until 3 AM in the hottub with all these hugely famous Halo 2 gamers and they got invited to a LAN party tonight by the head hauncho. It's pretty awesome. They're really good players.

And I just got back from the Bodies: The Exhibition show at MOSI in Tampa. It was really awesome. If any of you guys get the opportunity to see it, please do. It's very worthwhile.

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 20:49:36 GMT

I just saw the most amazing campaign commercial for a Floridian governor candidate:

"[Democrat] is for Alien rights. [Republican] opposes them."
"[Democrat] is for Gay rights. [Republican] opposes them."
"[Democrat] is Pro-Choice. [Republican] is Pro-Life."

At this point, I was very excited because this Democratic candidate because he sounds just what like we need, in my opinion! Then...

"Vote for [Republican]."

I was like, "...are you kidding me? Wow. He totally sold me on the other candidate."

The South sucks.

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 21:35:23 GMT

I got back at 1 AM on Sunday and today was my first day of school. I got to see everyone again, which was nice, and my schedule itself seems simple enough, although the classes aren't. 6 APs and one regular, but that's Anatomy...so it might the hardest of all. I'm a little bit heartened because I got back my AP over the summer and I got a 3 in Latin and 4 in History, so at least I know that I'm capable of this courseload. I think.

It's just that - for at least today - it's a bit overwhelming. I have so many hours worth of homework in every class and all my teachers expect it tomorrow because apparently they all think that I was just off having fun in Europe and couldn't be bothered to come back in time...and tests. Tomorrow.

And my OCD is so terrible today. I had 40 Psych notecards to do, and I did about 15 in one colour of ink and then the pen went out, so I had to rip them up and start over again.

I dunno, I hope I can get all this done.

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 14:22:18 GMT

Going home tomorrow/today, wee!

The some of the other Americans and Saana and random other Finns and myself are going clubbing until 2 AM, getting to the airport at 5 AM...and the rest is from there. The terrorist plot sucks because it makes travelling harder, but oh well. It's all cool. I'll be so glad to be back in America. I had a great time here, but America rocks, you guys. Seriously.

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 19:56:45 GMT

Okay, about the TWiCChat for you guys, Greb says:

Greblin here.

IRC isn't a single program, it's just a network system with a variety of was to access it.

If you use Firefox (which you all should do *stern glare*) then you can use the Chatzilla extension, which can be found here (http://www.mozilla.org/projects/rt-messaging/chatzilla/).

If not, then there is mIRC (http://www.mirc.co.uk/) for Windows or iRC (http://www.mice-software.com/) for Macs

If you want a little walkthrough, Skpye me, the username's Greborn. I only know mIRC to a decent extent, although I doubt there's much differance between them in terms of the basics.