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eno fruit salt face-off [19 May 2006|01:07am] [ music | the unicorns - tuff luff ] it's one-ish in the morning and all i want to do is collapse on my bed and sleep. there's still 14 minutes to go before the damn washing machine completes its cycle and another 10 before i finally finish up part three of my laundry routine for this week. on top of my struggle to keep awake, the two beers i had at dinner has not gone down very well and indigestion is being a bitch. i suddenly remember the bottle of eno i purchased while out with danielle one afternoon several months ago. it was a lovely day up to the point where i practically passed out from pain. anyway, after digging out the afore-mentioned product, i remembered how in my frenzied state on that seemingly lovely day, i had ripped off the entire label leaving me now with no correct dosage to follow. being the smart ass, i decide to skip checking it out first on the internet (because i am secretly a huge nerd) and proceed on to guessing the ratio of eno to water. it's definitely either two or three teaspoons, i'm fucking positive, i tell myself. one... two... hmm... better make that a half teaspoon more... just to be safe... three may be too much, two and a half it is. i pile it all into my jesus mug and fill it with water. to my horror (imagine the face i make), a toxic waste like green foam immediately starts to form and at this point my cup literally runneth over. green foam is everywhere before i could yell out "fuckkkkkk" and i stand speechless with green foam on my toes. and this is the story of lauren vs eno. final score: eno 1, lauren zero. it's time to hang up the laundry. 4 comments|post comment

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