I talked to Jesus today. He knew that I sold my soul to Satan to win the election. He understood that it was the only way I could win and keep HOMOS out of the churches, so he granted me a new sole. Actually, two. The gellin' ones. Now your president it Gellin' like a Watermelon. This morning was a real wake up call for me, My Fellow Americans. I was sitting in my kitchen with nothing but a t-shirt on, eating my Corn Flakes, and something absolutely astonishing hit me. Iowa has not yet accepted me as their king, and I was eating CORN flakes? I immediately doused the bowl in gasoline, and send that puppy where it came from. Quit being such faggots and atheists and accept it.
This term gives me 3 more years of war against Terror. And the Terror Squad. I will continue to kill and kill for the sake of cheap oi----- weapons of mass destruction!!!!!!! And I will NOT lean back, Fat Joe. Putin signed the Kyoto Protocol today. I just don't get it. The environment isn't THAT important. We need to worry about getting into heaven, is what Jesus told me this morning. The Kyoto Protocol is the devils work. It is counter productive and will put Putin in hell. Isn't it great that I am so unwilling to work with other countries to save the environment? (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A23541-2004Nov3.html
) What a joke! The only plan I have to help the environment is the one I lie about in my platform. I just put that in for 2 extra credit points with the dirty hippies.
And remember, I am a Texan before I am an American. I'm behind the wheel of this Jihad, and I have been drinking (heavily), so watch out.