thinking out loud

i had a strange revelation today as i biked to lunch. one of the things that sucks about this job is that we can't do anything without intense rollback, backout, undo plans, nor can we do anything without thinking about it long and hard (ie, meetings, change control committees, cost considerations, etc).

one of the things that's sucked about my personal work over the past years is unwillingness to break stuff by upgrades that replace the old with the new. ofttimes, i'll build, install, test, evaluate, and decide superior a new/different piece of software, but leave the old one in place for fear of destroying something that works for everyone else with something that works only for me.

i just need better plans to undo, and i think my bravery could be much enhanced. as much as planning is Not My Thing, i think it will enable me to Do My Thing Better. so it shall be allowed and welcomed. though this job is still beyond redemption...

as well, i am fearsome of burning bridges in my personal life. "well, i'm not sure which bike i want...this one's kinda neat but so is this one. and then there's the money issue. maybe i just won't buy a bike." i don't like that critical point past which there is no return; there is often no undo in life. but there are many things undone. and while things undone are kinda painless, they're kinda joyless, too.

funny how you can hear the thing you need to hear from a source you weren't according any respect.