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[06 Oct 2008|03:59am] |
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guys guys guys, remember to look at my other blog! i actually put a lot of pictures and stuff in it. because lately i have had a camera with me always. i hope you like it! http://ohheart.blogspot.com
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[01 Oct 2008|02:16am] |
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im never lonely.
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[24 Sep 2008|11:35pm] |
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i always leave my last grape for the squirrels.
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[24 Sep 2008|12:52am] |
guys! i made myself a blog. like an actual one, that i really update! (sort of)
go here: http://ohheart.blogspot.com/
i dont know how to link that because i am computer dumb.. but read it so i will keep on writing in it. pleaaaassse.
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[16 Apr 2008|05:26pm] |
Keep Making Art,
and when you get tired; eat,
and/ or watch movies, every kind
make tea and then Keep Making Art.
That Will Keep You From Becoming
"THEM"
- You Know-
those people
who could, but don't
and know there is nothing left for them
them, the terrible them
that tear down the ones
WHO NEVER GAVE UP
on the dream
because you and me kid,
we were made of that stuff
and were born to dream,
even sometimes
for "them"
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[08 Dec 2007|10:11pm] |
last night i dreamt about my unborn child.
as i birthed her i didn't feel any pain. i wasn't torn and bloody. i just awoke and she was lying in my arms - my full, pregnant belly was completely gone. i was holding her so tight i could have never let go, and she stared at me so good.
she was so beautiful. she had his dark, tanned skin. my nose. both of our freckles. her body was soft and pink, i love the way she smelled. she had only a few little hairs... and she laughed whenever my lips turned up a smile too quickly.
so pure, innocent, new. she loved me so much.
i was hers, and she was mine.
when i turned around (away from her), or walked a step in the other direction i would miss her. i would have to turn right back around to see her again. i never wanted to stop looking at that face. i couldnt bare to be away from her.
i dreamt about the night that we conceived her. on the floor, slowly. it was so gentle and deep. our mouths open, and our lips, hands, finger tips and chests touching the whole time. biting and moving in synchronization. he told me he loved me 43 times as it happened (i counted). and after we laid naked and wet for hours, just looking at each other and feeling what hadn't already been felt.
that night i knew. i could feel it. so i told him and we both cried. we held close all night, not separating until dawn (and the rest of our lives).
i have been thinking about it all day, closing my eyes and dreaming once again. trying to remember every single thing about her so i could write it down and carry her with me until she is real. i hope i get to meet her in the next decade or so. when she comes i hope she knows i have been waiting for her... pretending to touch her and sleep beside her, knowing that she will always be mine.
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[20 Sep 2007|10:42pm] |
oh, yes, and this is on my bathroom door.
mmmmmmmmhmmmmmm
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[20 Sep 2007|08:58pm] |
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i wish we still all had time to write to eachother, and reflect about the things that happen in our lives. it seems like this is the last thing people are doing. instead its all about faces and hair and relationship status's? never about what they think.
i wish i knew everyones thoughts.
mine, as of late, have been:
a) i feel a deep sorrow for the old native women, and their hudsons bay husbands.
b) i dont really like this weather, because i feel so intimidated by all of the beauties in this world.
c) i love learning!
me and jason love to take late-night walks downtown. there are so many pretty lights, and crazy men asking us if we want to take home their diapers (for our future babies).
my floorboards creek, and ive made friends with all of the tiny little spiders around my room. ive bought a little red pepper plant for my kitchen windowsill, and my shower will soon fall through the floor - but i love where i live.
life is a lot better then i make it out to be. cause really, all i ever do is read, eat mango's and kiss him.
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[09 May 2007|02:55pm] |
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and he will be right beside me all summer long.
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[17 Apr 2007|08:09pm] |
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music |
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i pray that something picks me up |
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ive been living a life of little substance lately. i sort of feel as if i have accomplished almost nothing this year.
not many things have changed in the ways that they should have. im going to try my best to change that.
there are so many things going on in the world right now, why is there barely anyone there to help?
maybe if we became more aware of things, we can prevent the tragedies and sadness that consume so many people every day.
maybe if we lived lives free of selfishness and built life with peace and trust, then we can save those who have been pushed so far away.
i dont just want to live a life that will be the best for me, but i want to live a life for others too.
i pray that i will become more aware. i want to become smarter, i want to become involved, and i want to know how to help them.. because lately i have done nothing but think of myself.
its time to start my life. change things. i am an adult now, and i am able to do whatever i please. i want to go places and hug them and kiss them and tell them it will be okay.
i hope that when opportunities come, i will know how to do what is right.
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[15 Mar 2007|05:48am] |
i miss him more than anyone would ever know.
and i feel sick every time i think about going home and not having him there.
its 6am. i would sleep if i could.
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[13 Mar 2007|01:01am] |
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music |
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how satisfying that must be for you |
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i dream about silly things.
ive decided.
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[08 Mar 2007|03:43am] |
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[07 Feb 2007|02:51am] |
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i sure cant wait for the day where two will forever become one.
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[05 Feb 2007|12:41pm] |
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music |
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rocky votolato |
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i find myself going on many wonderful adventures, and i love learning new things about life. i never want to stop taking in different things then what i have always known. i cant stop reading and listening and writing and i want to talk to new people more often then i do. i want to educate people on things that i know and they dont, and i cant wait for them to educate me!
i want to do something realllly wonderful with my life. ive decided as of late that i want to travel. somewhere far and wonderful (but dont worry i will always come back).
in the past week ive planned out my whole life! even though it probably wont turn out that way, its nice to think of those things.
im so extcited for everything that is to come, that i cant think straight.
so dream on, friends.
(ive missed you all, i think about you often, and i love each and every one of you.
but everything is going so fast.)
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[05 Dec 2006|08:57pm] |
tokyo police club on mtv!
no matter how much we all hate mtv, this is still exciting.
http://www.mtv.ca/?id=1547252
i am so proud of my friends!
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[21 Nov 2006|05:20am] |
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19 mintues ago (yesterday) was mine and jasons one year anniversary!
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_focus's journal