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[heh] posted n posted. @ 01:53 am
I feel sick.
In this moment I feel the utmost regret, despair and utter longing for what once was and is no more.
Never have I felt this emotion, in this sense, as it has never been present, since I for such a long time, did my best to have it not come into “my” reality.
As I sit here, after a day of feeling like I am spinning, after a week of feeling that there is nothing left for me here, I find hope or rather I feel it.
Oh, not in you dear one, for I believe you never understood me, you never truly saw me for what I was (though I will always hold a place for you).
However, there is one; one whom knew me before I was bore from my mother. One who knows my innermost feelings, those of pain, sorrow and joy.
One who despite my lack of attending a formal service for three weeks now (money must be earned), comforts me and reassures me that the path that I am walking is the ‘right’ one, though it brings somewhat “bittersweet memories” to me in this current time and place.
Is it my downfall that I look towards the “Revelations”? That I honestly believe that many of us here today will not die of a “natural” death?
I think not. I think … it is my belief, it is my rock, it is our future.
Regardless of the outcome, my beliefs make me … me.
I will always love you dear one, for you mean to me more then you will ever know, more then I know I could have ever meant to you.
[Korn.E.Candi-iE]
Open your wings, you will begin to fly
Among the clouds you cherish oh so high
Beside you will, they all fly too
The ones you cherish, that truly care for you
In this moment I feel the utmost regret, despair and utter longing for what once was and is no more.
Never have I felt this emotion, in this sense, as it has never been present, since I for such a long time, did my best to have it not come into “my” reality.
As I sit here, after a day of feeling like I am spinning, after a week of feeling that there is nothing left for me here, I find hope or rather I feel it.
Oh, not in you dear one, for I believe you never understood me, you never truly saw me for what I was (though I will always hold a place for you).
However, there is one; one whom knew me before I was bore from my mother. One who knows my innermost feelings, those of pain, sorrow and joy.
One who despite my lack of attending a formal service for three weeks now (money must be earned), comforts me and reassures me that the path that I am walking is the ‘right’ one, though it brings somewhat “bittersweet memories” to me in this current time and place.
Is it my downfall that I look towards the “Revelations”? That I honestly believe that many of us here today will not die of a “natural” death?
I think not. I think … it is my belief, it is my rock, it is our future.
Regardless of the outcome, my beliefs make me … me.
I will always love you dear one, for you mean to me more then you will ever know, more then I know I could have ever meant to you.
[Korn.E.Candi-iE]
Open your wings, you will begin to fly
Among the clouds you cherish oh so high
Beside you will, they all fly too
The ones you cherish, that truly care for you
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