Tiffinaye

i love 82

Mon, 18 Aug 2003 22:39:26 GMT

-mullets-
bnl : i had a lionel ritchie mullet. that's the only mullet i could pull off.

MY TAPE STOPS HERE BECAUSE IT HATES SO MUCH.

THE NEXT TAPE PICKS UP HERE.

BABES OF 82 :(

-rocky 3-
ed guy : the plot of rocky III is as follows; rocky goes on the muppet show. mr t trains to kick rocky's ass, does. then rocky kicks mr. t's ass.
ed guy : and in fact there was pain. on both sides.
ed guy : i dont think you could ever say sly has lost the eye of the tiger

-ozzy osbourne-
rich : it's just gotta be two people in love, it's gotta be that. plus there might have been something in the bat blood.
rich : how many people could say, the year they found their wives they also peed on the alamo.
rich : i'll admit it. i actually relieved myself on the grassy knoll in dallas. called myself the second shooter.

-dukes of hazzard-
ed guy : i think they taught us one thing. which is if yr ever introuble with the law, get in your car and flee
ed guy : finally there was a television show that made white trash cool. think we need that?
mo : my feelings about the general lee is that it probably violated every decent admissions standards. perhaps georgia has lax environmental law but .. keep your smog in georgia
ed guy : so the idea was "so bo and luke were gone so lets bring in their cousins coy and vance." with names like coy and vance how can you go wrong? that's a liscense to print money as far as i'm concerned. i don't know how they went wrong!
mo : many fools have tried before but no one has managed to replicate the magic of tom wopat and john schnieder. coy and vance are a chilling example of that mistake.

i love 88 <33

Mon, 18 Aug 2003 07:41:23 GMT

-mike tyson-
ice t : mike tyson just wanted to knock stuff out back then.
rich : that was when he was beatin' the crap outta everybody. he was just nasty. just an absolutely frightening individual who would pummel people.
stuart : everything with tyson was a good night, punch or a good night combination, you know , uh and the guy *falls over*
mo : mike tyson always struck me as a very sensitive guy, a poet if you will. with an anger management problem.
stuart : then it's like everything's cool with mike, and then robin givens. he married robin.
aisha : there was just no way that that woman and that man were gonna stay together. you just looked at them and she would be like "yeah we're very happy together we're building a life here," and then he would be like, "huh? i'm gonna chew you and eat you!"
mo : career-wise, robin givens made the wrong choice. it would have been worth it to stay with him, maybe give up half an ear if she had to. she would've had a much bigger career.
aisha : when it gets down to it, you're married to somebody and you need to take out the damn trash and the response is, "it's scupalificus, it's ridibilibacus!" it wasn't gonna happen.
stuart : *speaking mike tyson style* wait a second - mike gonna be watching this? because you can't make fun of mike.

-chuckie-
hal : ooh, here we go. a serial killer, in a doll eep!. you know a cabbage patch kid with an attitude.
juliette : the guy he's like this tall and he's like clobbering, "no! no!". sorry, i could beat you up, chuckie.

-roseanne-
ed guy : i always like laughing at poor people. if there's a way for me to watch people who are in worse off shape than me, it makes me feel better about myself. i think that's why america loved roseanne so much.

-rick astley's never gonna give you up-
hal : *sings* i'm a white boy with a big 'ol black voice.
hal : you were expecting, like luther vandross you know. you were expecting like this huge black guy. and then when you saw him you were like, "he's got red hair! he's white! he has freckles!"
mo : he kind of looked like wally beaver. i mean he was this very clean cut guy.
ed guy : he did not look so unlike howdy doody, but. he could sing. and he had convictions. he wasn't going to give her up. he thought about it. ultimately he decided, you know what? not only am i not gonna give you up now, guess what honey, i'm NEVER gonna give you up.

-guns n roses-
ed guy : my theory was that slash had terrible, terrible acne. and that's why he covered his face.

-the wonder years-
juliette : how kids just obsess about the girl you know, and you're at your lockers, because that's your whole world at that time.
hal : winnie on the the wonder years. i'm just saying she played an intergal role in the puberty of every young man from 1980 - now.
juliette : yeah, little known fact that i was on the wonder years. i did two episodes. i think it really captured that time and the innocence too, of the '60s.

-modern rock-
mo : modern rock was defined by inxs and other bands like that.
donal : well, he was sexy. his long hair...ok. restraining order #37? was michael hutchence against me when he was in the states. and i just liked the music, mike!
hal : the cure - it was all, like , this kind of like "i wear my hair like this because i just, uhh, the world is too painful to look at.
ugly guy from alias : i used to cry alot, and then i was like *sniff* boys don't cry!
hal : *crying* what are you crying about? YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE.
ugly guy from alias : i doubt that he was that depressed all the time. i think he was like, "You're paying me how much to write this? my life sucks! thanks"
juliette : my first serious makeout took place to depeche mode, so that holds some memories.
ed guy : there were a lot of desperately unhappy acne-ridden teenage boys like me, who needed something to believe in. why we picked depeche mode? search me, brother.
donal : what does depeche mode mean? "i like kinky sex with a scoop of ice cream!"
ugly guy from alias : it's a sort of mode. it's the kind of mode that we all shift into when we're all feeling a little depeche. i'm feeling a little depeche right now, actually.
mo : i remember in our carpool listening to erasure and it really was the kind of music that sort of got you all excited for trig and latin.

-teenage mutant ninja turtles-
ed guy : teenage mutant ninja turtles set the table, for 'nsync. justin timberlake, is michelangelo. joey fatone is donatello. lance bass is raphael. and the other dude, is the other turtle. think about it.

-bobby mcferrin's don't worry, be happy-
rich : don't worry be happy was viewed as the anthem of the entire decade.
ed guy : robin williams comes in and just mugs, just acts like an idiot for three and a half minutes.
mo : post - mork and mindy. pre - patch adams robin williams. it's an akward period.
rich : it gets on my nerves today, don't worry be happy. don't tell me what to do. i'll be happy when i'm happy.

-california raisins-
rich : california raisins were back in '88
hal : let's get a bunch of raisins, and have them sing motown. what?!
hal : and people were collecting them and play--i have some! i have one that has a microphone that my mom got me. cos i wanted to be a stand up comedian. so she got me the one that's *raisin pose*
mo : the california raisins made you like them so much, the last thing you want to do was bite into them and eat them
ed guy : did you notice more people eating raisins after the california raisins came out? i didn't, i mean i was eating a lot of raisins to begin with. i was because i needed the fiber. i desperately needed the fiber.

-george michael's faith-
bnl : when faith came out, you sort of had license to like george michael.
hal : oh boy, george's butt again. little georgie and his butt.
aisha : to be perfectly honest with you, looking back on it, he kind of looked like a pirate.
brian : he made five o'clock shadows pretty cool back then.
stuart : white dudes can get the shadow going real well. we try and get the shadow and all we get is bumps and pimples, you know.
bnl : i thought, "you lucky guy you got all these babes" but he didn't care about the babes when it came down to it. > well, as friends. he liked them as friends. > yes.
hal : father figure. not written about a girl, just want to get that clear.
stuart : hey, one less dude i gotta worry about!

-pictionary-
ed guy : pictionary's the game where you would read something and then you draw it. for example, you might give me, what, disney world. and then i would draw a very detailed drawing of the magic kingdom. and then you would say, "disney world!" and then we'd all laugh.
stuart : why, at parties, when you play pictionary, do you split up men against women? because you know, somebody's gonna get their feelings hurt. and you go home with your wife and you ain't gettin' none.

-working woman's wardrobe-
aisha : oh, good lord.
aisha : i'm six feet tall, i looked like the fridge.
aisha : they would have their heels in their bag, along with their lunch in the tupperware.
aisha : women are always looking for like, the beauty answer.
aisha : look at me. my colors of course according to the book were supposed to be like green and yellow. why is the negroes looking like a cadaver?
aisha : oh, i'm an autumn, except when i'm on my period i'm a winter.

-yo! mtv raps-
ice t : that's when rap really broke across the world because white kids were able to see hip hop
mo : i remember fab five freddy. i was down with him.

i love 87

Sun, 17 Aug 2003 07:39:27 GMT

-dirty dancing-
mo : as a society, if we learned one thing from dirty dancing, it's that nobody puts baby in a corner.
hal : this is my impersonation of patrick swayze working on that line. "nobody puts baby in a corner. nobody puts baby in a corner, no no"
ed guy : the theme song was huge. they did have the time of their lives.

-tiffany and debbie gibson-
hal : tiffany and debbie gibson both represented the two girls i could never have in school
mo : tiffany and debbie gibson are quintessential clash of the titans, each with her own strength.
ed guy : don't ask me to choose between tiffany and debbie gibson, that's like asking me to choose between my children. i love them both so.
hal : tiffany has red hair, debbie has blonde hair. that's really the only difference between the two of them.
mo : i love i think we're alone now. *singing* there doesn't seem to be anyone around.
ed guy : she used to write all of her own songs, which is why they're so memorable today. for example.... *exuding sass as debbie gibson plays* and of course... *exuding more sass*
brian boitano : debbie gibson's great, dammit!! *excitement with hands* debbie gibson! deborah, deborah gibson and tiffany changed her name to tiffinaye, JUST KIDDING!

-hair crimping-
hal : the best think about hair crimping was all the neck burns the girls would have.

-lisa lisa & the cult jam, featuring full force?-
juliette : okay, a huge part of my teenage life was lisa lisa & the cult jam. i could sing you the songs right now, but i'll spare you.
juliette : i didn't get the full force? *confused*
juliette : one of my favorites was can you feel the beat.
juliette : oh wait, and then she had the slow jam, all cried out.
juliette: *singing* all cried out, over you. and then that's where you cry in your room alone. anyway, it was one of the highlights of my teenage life.

-fatal attraction-
aisha : woman was just trying to get a hookup, all of a sudden she turns into crazy bitch.
hal : favorite line from fatal attraction, i will not be ignored
juliette : i'm not going to be ignored, dan.
aisha : glenn has got this kind of deep power to her acting that you were like, uh, this girl could fuck you up.
aisha : that movie didn't change nothing for nobody. a man could have his penis nailed to a board and he would still be thinking about trying to have an affair
donal : that's the message. do you value your family's pet? because they could end up dead. cos your thinking with this guy *points lower* and not with this guy *points to higher head*

-fox-
ugly guy from alias : yeah i run into that problem all the time because i'm so good looking. woah, woah! actor, actor first. looks, second.
ugly guy from alias : they kind of looked like spookier versions of themselves

-r.e.m's it the end of the world as we know it.
ed guy : it seems to me the song is primarily about an excuse for all drunk frat guys to scream "leonard bernstein" at the same time.
mo : i mean, my feeling always is that if it was the end of the world as we know it, i would not feel fine.

-the scandals-
stuart : as a presidential candidate, cute girl, short white dress. she plops down on your lap. he's like, "hey, i'm married! check out this girls pretty legs. go head, go head dawg. focus, you good? click click. alright!"
aisha : judge not, lest ye be caught with a big boobie whore.
stuart : tammy did wear, just a smidge too much makeup.

-beastie boys' 'fight for your right to party'-
barenaked ladies : you ask your mom please, but she still says, no.
hal : i thought the best thing about fight for your right to party was the line *singing* "my mom threw away my best porno mag!"
barenaked ladies : i don't know. busted!
ed guy : the man is coming down on you, "hey you can't party anymore" oh no, you're messing with the wrong guy if you're trying to take away our right to party.
hal : i do agree that you have to fight for your right to party, i just don't think you have to fight anybody else. you know? you gotta fight with yourself you gotta go self, i'm too serious. i'm going to party.
ed guy : good for them they picked a cause and they went with they. they gotta fight for that right to party. it's sort of the perfect american sentiment in 1987.

-converse and acid wash jeans-
stuart : it was like a statement.
bnl : i remember seeing them for the first time in a store and going, "wow. that sucks"
ugly guy from alias : they still wear it in some parts of the country. and they've got to stop. now. i'm serious.

-cheers-
hal : cheers ok a sitcom people gather in a bar and hang around and they're friends.
ed guy : there's two different dumb bartenders, just like moronic bartenders.
mo : cliff, the underdog, still living with his mom.
ed guy : the alcoholic bartender who doesn't drink, but encourages others to drink as much as humanly possible.
mo : norrrm!

-salt n pepa's push it-
ed guy : shouldn't it have been salt n pepa n spinderella?
stuart : salt n pepa could rap, they were good. but spinderella the dj? spinderella was fine.
ict t : yo yo yo yo baby pop.
ed guy : and not only do you have to push it. they have to -- [doug e. fresh answers, "push it real good!"]
ed guy : they're shaking their booties alot, aren't they?
ed guy : they did push it. they pushed it in all the right ways.
ed guy : my weiner? is it my weiner that they want me to push?

-hollywood shuffle-
hal : hollywood shuffle is a great movie. hollywood shuffle is so good
hal : now i've come up with this new thing, gonna be very big!
aisha : hollywood shuffle was like a really radical film because it was pointing out the inequalities and kind of the difficulty that you have when you want to work, but you don't want to compromise yourself.

-robert palmer's addicted to love</i>
hal : robert palmer's addicted to love.
hal : i remember everyone going "those girls are hot!" and i'm "those girls are plastic!" you know, *face* which, you know has it's benefits.

-corey haim & corey feldman-
hal : yeah, corey haim and corey feldman.
hal : corey feldman at some point became fixated on michael jackson and started dressing like him and started singing like him.
hal : the coreys are a prime example of if you're an up and coming child star, don't do smack!
ed guy : what's to be said about the coreys that hasn't already been said? geniuses? sure. great actors? absolutely. gorgeous? without a doubt. truly, tremendous talents, and we were lucky to have them.

-u2's the joshua tree-
ed guy : and wouldn't it suck, you know if you were in a band with bono and the edge and your name is larry? wouldn't you sort of go you know guys maybe i can get a nickname too, i don't wanna be larry?
bnl : see, 1987 for me i think of bono with his long mop of puppet looking hair and his self important leather vested kind of rock.
mo : bono may seem to think of himself as the messiah at times. but i will tell you that no where in the new testament do you see sunglasses like his described.
ed guy : he is the messiah there is no getting around it. well at least he was until creed came around.

the official who we are quoting on i love the 80's list

Sat, 16 Aug 2003 07:03:11 GMT

ed guy
hal sparks
mo rocca
barenaked ladies
rich eisen
stuart scott
ice t
aisha tyler
juliette lewis
brian boitano
donal logue
ugly guy from alias

k add more if you want and feel it's necessary

i love 1986 :o

Sat, 16 Aug 2003 06:58:17 GMT

-ferris bueller's day off-

rich eisen : are you kiddin' me? every kid wants to blow off school and go to a cubs game.
mo rocca : i think i related more to cameron, sort of the worrywart there.
mr. michael ian emma's husband ed guy black : that's what i like in a movie, i like someone who i can really relate to. depressed, morose, pathetic, sad. but i didn't have the rich daddy with the fancy car to crash. i had the lesbian mother driving the hyundai.
hal sparks : the central moral, the central focus of that movie is, life moves pretty fast...

-wheel of fortune-
mo : wheel
ed guy : wheel
mo : of
ed guy : of
mo : fortune!
ed guy : it wasn't wheel of fortune it was just 'the wheel' oh, 7.30 time for the wheel!
mo : wheel of fortune was an important SAT prep for me
ed guy : you can tell that pat sajak, kind of hates himself on wheel of fortune? sort of like, "hey, welcome to wheel of fortune i'm still doing this shit, here i am, let's meet our contestants how you doing. you've got an interesting life in the military, i'm still doing this shit"
rich : vanna white, man was she hot!
barenaked ladies : who is vanna white? why--why is vanna white?
ed guy : vanna made a career out of.. *sassy hand turning motion*
hal : the worst part of wheel of fortune was yelling at the retards who couldn't figure it out
barenaked ladies : a slang term for sexual intercourse! well you get three letters, i'll take an f a c and a k, would you like to buy a vowel? NOT YET!
rich : you took the money that you won during the regular round and went shopping
ed guy : you'd have like $300 left and all there would be was the ceramic lobster.
ed guy : a lot of high theatre in wheel of fortune. a lot of human emotion in that game, and a lot of ceramic lobsters.

-hands across america-

hal : did that.
mo : hands across america to me was a much clammier, 'we are the world'.
ed guy : we really did something that day. when we all joined hands, no one will go hungry tonight.
hal : i remember that there were a lot of celebrities involved in hands across america and none of them were anywhere near me in the line. the person next to me smelled like cabbage.
ed guy : i don't wanna be touching people i don't know. think about the amount of germs that were spread that day? this is why we have mad cow disease!

-teddy ruxpin-
hal : teddy ruxpin was a talking bear.
hal : and you could get a book, and you could get a cassette.
ed guy : you could put tapes in its belly.
hal : and he would read the book with you!
hal : it's mouth actually moved, so it was even more disturbing
juliette lewis : that's sort of evil, i mean that's not ... *hand movement juliette lewis style*.
hal : i had a theory that teddy ruxpin,um,actually, uh in the middle of the recording, had subliminal things in it and 'hansel went into the -- YOU HATE YOUR PARENTS, TONIGHT YOU WILL GO IN AND KILL THEM'.
juliette : all it reminded me of was all those doll movies where the doll comes to life.
hal : it's just the biggest absentee parenting toy ever. well we can't exactly have a robot watch the kid but this is close enough!

-alf-
hal : hey willie!
ed guy : the show about the puppet, who's from another planet and he eats cats?
hal : rude puppets are always funny. you will never be able to escape the fact that a puppet going "shut up" is gonna always be funny.
juliette : he was a blend of a dog and an anteater.
hal : the nose was a little much. it was like, ribbed for your pleasure.
hal : i think it's ironic that the puppet from the show can get work but the actors who were on it are having a hard time.

-pretty in pink-
ed guy : the standard plot, is as follows. molly ringwald is upset about something, and then i come in and have sex with her.
rich : we could all relate to duckie, couldn't we?
ed guy : my friends and i took all of our fashion cues from duckie. we thought we were punk rock, but in the 80's nobody really knew quite what punk rock meant, so we sort of thought, well duckie's the closest thing, and it basically meant just dressing like *beep*.
ed guy : right, who are you supposed to root for? the sort of good looking preppy, or the other good looking preppy? i dunno, i was rooting for duckie. i was ALL about duckie.

-madonna's papa don't preach-
hal : papa don't preach.
hal : ooh, what if in the song she's talking about the fact that her dad gave her the kid? we never thought about that, did we! oh my god! that's horrible!
hal : it was about time, i think that unwed teenage mothers had an anthem and it was great of madonna to write it.

-swatch-
mo : i was using a sundial back then.
ed guy : these are swiss timepieces, handcrafted from plastic.
hal : it's a plastic watch folks. i'm sorry to break it to you, but it took a nickel to make.

-mets winning? ok-
mo : i think the secret to the 1986 mets victory was that they were smoking a lot more pot back then.
rich : and then here come the boston red sox, who have been cursed since they traded away babe ruth. > the famous thing about that was how the red sox had the plastic over their lockers to prevent the champagne from spraying into their belongings and finally removed the curse.
rich : and then my god, that final inning of game six.
stuart scott : but it's only red sox fans who like, you can't even say bill buckner without them having coniption fits
rich : a lot of people think that the ball rolling through buckner's legs ended the world series, but there was a game seven for the red soxs to blow.

-the cosby show
rich : the huxtables, we welcomed them into our homes. the original must-see tv kings!
hal : because you've got to know that the kids have to -- i forget in here in the kitchen!
ed guy : and i thought lisa bonet was fly!
ice t : it was kind of hard to relate to the cosby show considering one parent was a doctor and the other was a lawyer, that was like, that's a strange black family for me.
ed guy : he's a doctor, she's a lawyer, they're never at work. she never had a case, she never had a client, we never saw her office, she's gotta be the worst lawyer that ever existed.
hal : the horrible legacy of the cosby show was the sweaters.
ed guy : there comes a point where you have so much money that all you can do is spend it on horrible looking sweaters that nobody else can afford.

-baby on board-
ed guy: oh, the baby on board signs were great.
ed guy : there's a baby on board. ok, nice to know it! what does that mean?
ed guy : it's interesting, if you study the statistics, there were no traffic accidents in 1986. god, we saved a lot of lives that year.
hal : and then the joke ones started coming out like alcoholic on board.
aisha tyler : jerk on board and bitch on board.

-crocodile dundee-
hal : it's a fish-out-of-water story, really.
ed guy : crocodile dundee was weird in that it presented australia as like this land before time, where a car? what's a car?
ed guy : that's a knife!
hal : the other good part of that movie was the alligator biting scene.
hal : she's in this like, leotard with her butt showing.
ed guy : he married linda kozlowski

-celebrity weddings-
ed guy : dear diary, today my life is complete. heather finally found a man.
mo : it seemed so wrong, but it had to be right.
mo : his muscles and her jaw, an unbeatable combination.
ed guy : mcenroe was an enfant terrible which is spanish for terrible guy.
mo : celebrity wedding make us all feel a lot better because we know that they will crash and burn and make us all feel a lot better about our own lives.

-whitney houston-
mo : she sings loudly sometimes, but it's on key.
mo : you know when you think about it, it's kind of perverse. that loving yourself, *singing* is the greatest love of all!
aisha tyler : girl cut the hair down a little bit, you know it was just huge!
stuart : it was like, hey man whitney's cool i like the way she dresses. you look back now and it's like, what was she wearing?!
aisha : bouncing around, fluffy skirts, you know, yoo hoos and yodels fall out of the bottom, you know it was very kind of sweet. she was this sweet, wholesome, you know little seventeen model who made herself a singing career, but she's a woman now. mm-hmm. what's up, bobby?

-comic relief-
mo : comic relief was a funnier, fancier farm-aid, without the earth tones.
hal : comics showed up and they did about five minutes apiece.
ed guy : there's homeless out there. let's laugh about it. you never saw homeless people at comic relief, they probably would've enjoyed the shelter. > i applaud it. i'm all for helping people and if you can laugh at them at the same time, great.

-janet jackson-
hal : first thing that she got control of was her booty. because if you notice when she came out she was all bootylicious.
stuart : it was like oh oh oh ooh, sup, janet?
stuart : i'm like, go ahead girl! shoot!
rich : hot. she's hot. hot. period. janet jackson? hot.
aisha : miss jackson if you're nasty!

-stand by me-
mo : the kids have to work together, overcome their fears on this odyssey and be in bed by 9pm.
mo : good movie, slightly handicapped by only having one corey.
ed guy : it's sad to think that corey feldman peaked when he was 12 years old.
stuart : was he the fat kid?
stuart : not that i was checking him out.
ed guy : little kids see the body. train comes, run away from the train. jump over the bridge, i mean that's just good fun.

-run dmc and aerosmith's 'walk this way'-
hal : and the riff is just monstrous. *singing* bu du bu du bu bu bu bu duh du!
hal : i swear to god, i thought the top of steven tyler's head was going to come off when he was singing.
hal : WALK THIS WAY!! *sassy head falling off movement with hands*.
hal : run dmc kind of looking well-fed, let's just say you know and next to them these railthin grayed out version of aerosmith.
stuart : they were saying, look we can do this together, it's just music.

-top gun-
hal : he was a wise-ass, smirking, good looking guy.
ed guy : the plot of top gun is as follows, tom cruise flies a plane around, and then tries to have sex with that girl.
mo : i can totally relate to top gun, story of my life, fighter pilots who, in their off time, grease themselves up to play volleyball.
barenaked ladies : that volleyball game was 'hott', with two t's!
cruise : cruise checked his watch 'cause he has to leave, he flexed when he checked his watch! he was like, POOF!
donal logue : as i recall, that val kilmer character -- what an asshole, huh?
hal : i don't like you. everytime you get up in there, you're a loose cannon , whatever. and he goes that's right! and val kilmer goes *clicks teeth hal style* that's just it! that was his whole response.
stuart : *teeth clicks* why did he do that? was that cool or something?
rich : goose was the glue that held top gun together. plus, how many famous gooses are there?
hal : she looks like she could bench-press you. you know what i mean? kelly mcgillis always look like she'd slam your head on the bar. hi, can i buy you a drink? *puh!* sorry!
barenaked ladies: *singing* you never close your eyes anymore...
stuart : *singing* when i kiss your lips!
barenaked ladies : i could never remember the words because i'm always taking a flight into the danger zone.
mo : it was just like a big, splashy musical, with airplanes.