the girl has come undone

The Sonnet, true story

2007-11-02T06:13:23Z

The Sonnet

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

Your exact female opposite:

Genghis Khunt

Random Brutal Sex Master

Always avoid: The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The False Messiah (DBLM), The Hornivore (RBSM), The Last Man on Earth (RBSD)

Consider: The Loverboy (RGLM)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.
My profile name: : heartrunsfree

Thanks Audrey

2007-06-22T07:22:43Z

What American accent do you have? (Best version so far)

Midland

("Midland" is not necessarily the same thing as "Midwest") The default, lowest-common-denominator American accent that newscasters try to imitate. Since it's a neutral accent, just because you have a Midland accent doesn't mean you're from the Midland.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

I'm lazy and I probably have carpal tunnel

2007-01-17T14:20:34Z

I just typed the worlds longest post in my hiplog, or maybe it just seems really long because my sk3's screen is so tiny. Anyways, you should probably check it out immediately.

http://www.hiptop.com/hiplog/read/4/10393/

I guess I had more to say than I thought I did.

I hate everything

2007-01-09T13:02:52Z

I just need to shake today off. I spent a good part of it in tears and/or feeling all heartbroken. Stupid things happened, which were sad of their own accord, but they weren't even the reason I was crying. I suck, that's all. Its not even over anything new. Just something I'm trying to cope with and pretend I'm alright about.

The funny thing about being a human, and this was even brought up on some tv show the other day, is that no matter how fucked your life is, you will always tell people you haven't seen or talked to in a while that everything is great. Well, it isn't great. Sometimes life fucking sucks and doesn't go the way you wished so fucking hard that it would.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I guess you just go through the motions, pretending to be normal until one day it doesn't hurt so damn much when you wake up in the morning. Whoever invented hearts is so fucked because I have it in for them big time.

I feel like Dane Cook. I'm walking down the street, in the rain, and I come across that stupid house full of people and come to the realization that everyone was invited except for me. That's exactly what love is like for me, exactly.

blah

2007-01-05T04:34:52Z

I have this crappy restless feeling. Right now I feel overwhelmed and stressed about all the things that I need to do, but at the same time I don't feel like doing anything. I don't know where its all stemming from, although I can say that at first I was totally zen about the whole college application situation and now I can't get it off my mind.

I need a break. I know that makes no sense since I'm currently on vacation, but its different. I hate being sick. I feel like all my muscles are taffy or something, they're just limp but at the same time everything hurts, especially my back. And I've been really cranky lately. Maybe because I feel like most of my break was a big waste of time and was spent in bed feeling like complete shit.

On top of all of that I feel like everyone is irritated at me or doesnt understand me for one reason or another, and this isn't just friends, its everyone. I just want my life to be good. I want my friends and family happy with me. I want to not have to worry about money or getting my license. I want to get into my dream school and start working on the next phase of my life.

I feel like I'm in this period of simultaneous growth and stagnation. I don't make any sense anymore because my whole life is full of contradictions. I want to have fun and see my friends, and at the same time I don't want to talk to anyone. I feel misunderstood.

Christmas presents, oh baby

2006-12-27T05:08:50Z

First I'll start with what Cher gave me since they were my first gifts of the season:

Adult mad libs
Travel Guess Who
A kissing game book with hot old movie stars
A brand new copy of one of my all time favorite books ever since my old one is in pieces
A Taking Back Sunday pillowcase that matches my room <333

From the rest of the world:

Dr. Katz Seasons 1 & 2
6 giant blue Symphony bars (my dad knows the way to my heart)
Blue jewelry case / makeup holder
2 philosophy lip glosses
A quizalatta maker (as my mom would say)
2 pairs of pj pants
Salt and pepper shakers to match my set of dishes
A sexy low-cut sweater perfect for going out to the bar
A snuggly black sweater perfect for hanging out with the girls
A new Dooney and Bourke purse with a sunglass case and makeup holder
Dooney and Bourke hearts wallet
Lady in the Water
Little Miss Sunshine
Face wash set
Clinique makeup set with an eyelash curler, 4 eyeshadows, mascara, 1 eyeshadow cream, 1 lip gloss, blush and a matching makeup case
Clinique face lotion
Clinque eye cream
Clinique concealer
Benefit Dallas blush
Benefit Boiing concealer
Benefit High Beam highlighter
Lancome eyeshadow in Statuesque (a sexy metallic black)

When I went into the gas station today this girl was crying. We asked what was wrong and she said she had gotten a new purse for Christmas and forgot to put her money and credit cards into it, but didn't realize that til after she filled up her tank, so I gave her some cash. Ain't no thang. All I could think about was that it could have been me in the same situation. Besides, it's nice to still be able to rely on the kindess of strangers. She asked for my number so she could pay me back, and I refused, although on second thought I should have gotten hers because she was really cute. Ahh well, better luck next time.

I still have some gift certificates left, but the stores didn't have what I was looking for, so now all I need is some new Uggs, Greys Anatomy Seasons 1 & 2 (I went all over the world today and no one had them), more bar clothes, and I should be set for a while.

Dreamy sigh

2006-12-25T07:44:12Z

I love Christmas.

Happy Holidays everyone <333

Huge discrepancy

2006-12-21T19:26:59Z

Academic Standing for Fall 2006: Dean's List

For any discrepancies with grades,
please contact the faculty member.

Semester: Fall 2006

Intro to Lit: Poetry/Drama A
Fundamentals of Photography A-
British Literature I A
Composition II B-

First let me just say a big in your mother fucking face to Nagler, the Comp II teacher who gave me a B-, but haha bitch I still made the Dean's List regardless. Secondly, she admitted defeat and that she was a bitch and said she would raise my grade due to her douchebaggy ways, and did not. So great, I had to email that devil woman again, but hopefully she will do the right thing so I can get into my dream school and we can all live happily ever after.

Odd

2006-12-18T17:55:38Z

I love that no matter what everyone knows I'm in love with Adam, have an obsession with nipple sucking, and that I'm most like Donnie Darko, or well I guess Cher thought I was like Igby but still.

Just a heads up

2006-12-18T08:01:43Z

I've decided that I'm going to start posting some of my favorite Found items. I am totally addicted to those books and the magazine, so it seems like a good thing to do, especially since it cheers me up. I'll probably post them in my myspace blog though. Not for any actual reason, just because. Oh, and I'll probably tweak them a bit to make them more applicable to my life.

Let's see who wins

2006-12-17T23:08:11Z

Create your own friendquiz here

http://www.testriffic.com/friendtest/1115838

Yuck

2006-12-17T17:23:15Z

Official proof of my lameness- I cried myself to sleep last night. Yeah, I suck. Whatever. Maybe I'll just use this time away from school to take a total time out from life?

Le sigh

2006-12-17T06:57:00Z

Sometimes I wonder about myself. There might not be a more painful way to live life than to go through it with your heart on your sleeve, but I don't know any other way to be. I'm kind of really emotional right now, and I've had just about enough confessions for a lifetime.

I feel really foolish. I'm so sick of having a heart, seriously.

LJ is weirding me out

2006-12-16T19:07:37Z

Last night was ridiculous. To sum things up, I look like a crackwhore and I smell like Ben Gay. How's that for sexy? Oh what a night.

Tonight

2006-12-14T18:45:42Z

is going to be the best night ever. All I want is for it to go off without a hitch, and I know these girls can make that happen. It's going to be amazing <3

I'm almost free. Just one essay to go, baby.

2006-12-13T02:23:42Z

I don't want to be a journal hog or anything but I figured I may as well tell the world about my day. It was quite productive. I took my photography final, which I should at least get an A- in, and I got my final project back- graded and everything. Speaking of which, Kelly saved my life and I cannot thank her enough for stopping by to drop off my portfolio <3

I got most of my books for next semester, went to dinner with my fam, helped my mom pick out a new Christmas tree and ornaments and the whole nine for my grandma, and I think that's it. Oh, and I'm sick. It's quite lovely.

END OF THE YEAR REVIEW

2006-12-13T02:19:52Z

Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2006. Post the first line of it in your journal, and that's your "Year In Review". (You can add a few lines if the first doesn't make sense.)

January: And the world clicks into place - I'm moving

February: Friggin finally - Packing sucks

March: I don't exist in March

April: Love - Adam

May: DAMN - I'm a sell out

June: Do this ya'll - I'll tell you something random

July: This took FOREVER - Toronto playlists

August: Random - I'm a lame bitch who cries at everything

September: First day = OVER. 14 more to go - Back to school

October: Oh the romance of having feelings - I'm so over people

November: Sigh - I quit boys

December: Big WTF - I need a life

I'm more interesting than I thought. So the year in review... I spent all kinds of time on school. Getting the house ready to move into, packing, moving, and unpacking is the least fun thing ever, almost. I officially fell in love, and painfully fell back out, nothing new there. Surveys are still one of my favorite activities when I'm bored. I had a premidlife crisis. School is overwhelming, and I'm too hard on myself. Drama nonstop. I quit boys, but can't stop falling for them. I cry over everything.

So basically, I'm exactly the same Amber as always, except now I'm fully legal.

_feisty_ @ 2006-12-10T02:42:00

2006-12-10T07:42:21Z

Okay, so I'm a smidge inebritated. I hope Kel has good a night as I did. Seriously, I had the best time. I love my friends.

Hippo

2006-12-09T22:23:59Z

This isn't ready to be viewed yet, but soon enough everyone will get to experience my amazing Christmas gift from my sister.

Stolen from Audrey

2006-12-08T03:45:12Z

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every scene, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie

Opening Credits: I Just Can’t Wait To Be King - The Lion King

Waking Up: Hotline - Ciara

Falling In Love: Dead Wrong - The Fray

Fight Song: I Just Wasn’t Made For These Times - The Beach Boys

Breaking Up: Love Is - Backstreet Boys

Prom: Funeral Song - The Rasmus

Life's Okay: My First Love - Avant

Mental Breakdown: Day In Day Out - Billie Holiday

Driving: Climbing Up The Walls - Radiohead

Flashback: Victim of Love - The Eagles

Getting Back Together: La Tortura - Shakira

Wedding: Hiding All The Way - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Birth of a Child: Intuition - Jewel

Final Battle: The Sound Of Settling - Death Cab For Cutie

Death Scene: Swingset - Boysetsfire

Funeral Song: Old Devil Moon - Jamie Cullum

End Credits: One Moment In Time - Whitney Houston

Ahh critiques

2006-12-08T01:42:11Z

I am going to take a personal timeout for a while. Maybe I'll throw myself a pity party or two, who knows, but I'm definitely going to allow myself to feel shitty about the events of the past week.

Tonight was difficult. I was actually pretty happy with the 4 prints I was turning in for the final critique, especially since I was one of the last people to go and I got to see the rest of the classes work. Most people took kind of boring photographs, so I thought mine would get somewhat glowing reviews, but that was not the case.

The whole point of the critique is the let the class give their opinion on each of our projects, but instead of saving his comments for the end my teacher decided to start with his own. He basically ripped my whole series to shreds, afterwards no one really had anything to say except a few other negative comments.

So it wasn't my best night. I know it's beyond lame but after picking them back up so the next people could go, I kept wanting to cry. I had to bite my tongue really hard to stay focused and get through the rest of class, and purse my lips to keep them from trembling.

I'm sure it doesn't really sound like that big of a deal, but I've been sensitive lately due to the fact that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and maybe you just had to be there to experience it for yourself. He would be so kind to people who had taken shitty and boring pictures and would offer advice, and then when it came to mine it was like they were the worst pictures ever taken in life. So whatever, I suck.

Big WTF

2006-12-07T07:06:14Z

Are you afraid of the dark is being released on dvd in Canada and not here. WTFWTFWTFUCKFUCKFUCK. Seriously.

Oh look, I'm famous.

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Awesome-lover-lyrics-2Gether/2F2406F187EEACE9482569610033B8BA

I seriously need to help that site out with the rest of their lyrics.

ATTN ALL ASPIRING MODELS and my friends

2006-12-01T04:16:52Z

Tra la la. I'm so sleepy. I just wanna take a nap but I'm afraid to, because there's a possibility I have to wake up early tomorrow and I don't wanna mess myself up.

Luckily I wasn't the only person developing film today, which made me feel so much better. I thought that I would end up looking like a total slacker or something, but that wasn't the case. It was going around that a lot of people thought our final project was due a week later than it actually is, so I'm not the only one scrambling, yay.

I'm in a cheery mood today for some reason. It's kind of weird because there are a few people who are being dicks to me today, and I'm having this weird DUH kind of day because I keep making these retarded mistakes, but I have this giddy feeling for some reason. Oh AND my dad told me that if I pick my three top schools to apply to that he will fork out the money for the application fees. I can't even tell you how huge of a deal that is because I was worried about that. I haven't turned in any of them for that exact reason. I've just been so incredibly broke lately.

I cannnn't wait until December 14th. It is going to be the best night ever, and I'm really happy to (hopefully) be sharing it with the people I'm gonna be with.

On a final note, I still desperately need models ASAP, as in over the weekend, because I only have a few more days to work on this project and every step is beyond time consuming. This week is going to be one of the most hectic weeks of my life. I have to finish the final draft of my research paper and clean up my last essay for my Comp class. I will be studying my ASS off for my Brit Lit final exam and essay, because I'm dumb and haven't been keeping up with the extra work so it's gonna be totally last minute. And obviously I have to finish my final project for photography. Having a 23 day break will be the best thing EVAR. Thank God for Christmas and having some time off.

I'm the lunatic laughing in the background. So myspacable

2006-11-30T05:24:53Z

Oh yes

2006-11-29T13:47:39Z

Steph is officially my lifesaver.