we are back online after 3 weeks of no internet/cable..

i have lots to say but i'm going to do some reading to catch up with everyone first.. anyone got anything special going on? hopefully you're all ok...

i can walk 1.68 miles in 30 minutes.. i've been walking 6 days a week (fridays are my day to rest). i have been going to the chiro for adjustments.. apparently my hips and back are so messed up my left leg is shorted than my right...

i'm trying to eat right. .i have been drinking alot more water and less soda... the thing is i'm craving protein.. i daydream about meat... and not in the sexual way.. lol

so anyone have any good recipes? i'm thinking of marinating some chicken breasts in some lowfat dressing and cooking them up so they are in the fridge for when i get home or taking them to work..


aside from that, alexandra is just about registered for first grade.. where the hell is the time going? louis had his check up.. at 8 months old he's 23 lbs... chubby baby!!
ohhh and i broke my camera...again.. damnit..


i think thats it for now...

see more Lol Celebs

soooo here are some new pictures of the kids. alexandra is 6 and louis is 6 months...





( Read more... )

copy and paste my entire blog...here ist he link..

http://faerietearsndreams.blogspot.com

i know i need to update here... i will soon i promise.. but they blocked lj at work (along with facebook and myspace) so its difficult to find the time.. i read alot but don't get respond..

although, i do wish i had a girlfriend..again..

ahhhemm before this post goes somewhere i totally didn't mean it to (if it hasn't already) here is a poem i found while lurking on the internet..

The Cats Will Know
by Cesare Pavese


Rain will fall again
on your smooth pavement,
a light rain like
a breath or a step.
The breeze and the dawn
will flourish again
when you return,
as if beneath your step.
Between flowers and sills
the cats will know.


There will be other days,
there will be other voices.
You will smile alone.
The cats will know.
You will hear words
old and spent and useless
like costumes left over
from yesterday’s parties.


You too will make gestures.
You’ll answer with words—
face of springtime,
you too will make gestures.


The cats will know,
face of springtime;
and the light rain
and the hyacinth dawn
that wrench the heart of him
who hopes no more for you—
they are the sad smile
you smile by yourself.


There will be other days,
other voices and renewals.
Face of springtime,
we will suffer at daybreak.

http://doodlebra.com/swatches.html

how creative can you be?

what is everyone doing?

but i posted this blog there..

that after all this time, with all our medical advances, there are not safer vacines out there and that things like this: http://iansvoice.org/default.aspx happen.. i will warn you that this is a pretty intense site with some intense photos.. this is why i'm really not in a rush to get louis vaccinated right now..i know that we have eliminated alot of diseases due to vaccines, but at what cost to those who have lost their lives during testing, or as an allergic reaction to ingrediants in the vax's? are we supposed to blindly follow our government when they tell us they are safe, yet we question EVERYTHING else they do? why is more money spent on war than on our children?

blah.. i'll stop for now.. but i will say, if you have children, educate yourself.. whether you vax or not, use cloth diapers or disposable, breastfeed or formula feed, do your own research and do what is best for YOU.. do it with the knowledge that you are doing it because its what you want and not what people expect from you..

so i suck at posting and stuff.. such is life as a single mom with 2 kids... its not being "single" i mind.. its just being tired all the time..

anyway, hopefully that will change soon..i went and paid for a new engine for craig's (my husband)truck yesterday. $3300.00 JUST for a rebuilt engine.. i still have to pay for labor.. hopefully by the end of the weekend it will be fixed.. and he will be home.. where we stand relationship wise is still up in the air.. but for the time being i'm willing to put things aside for my kids.. not the best reason in the world, but we don't hate each other or fight.. we just need to figure out what the hell we're doing.. he has been working everyday. .they even offered him the day off today (with no pay) and he turned it down.. so thats a good sign, right?

the kids are doing alright.. i'll post some pictures in a bit.. alexandra ran into a cement wall at school on friday and banged up her face.. then monday morning the cat scratched her on the face @@ she will NOT leave the damn cat alone so she'll just have to learn the hard way...


alexandra turned 6 on 2/17/09.. we didn't have a party but we made cupcakes for her to bring to school.. and we took her to the american girl store at the natick mall.. holy crap man.. i need to win the lottery just to by myself, i mean us, doll stuff :X (actually its realy for me. she wouldn't share her bitty baby with me so craig got me my own for xmas.. so now we play together.. lol)

Louis is getting baptised on may 3rd.. not sure how i feel. i was raised roman catholice but so do NOT follow it.. but its important to my mom.. and while we don't have the best relationship, its really a simple thing to do to keep the peace in the family.. later on in life the kids and I will discuss religion and i'll let them make up their own mind.. til then it gives them some kind of foundation and something to rebel against as teenagers (how horrible am i? doh)

work is well.. work.. i have a job and i'm grateful but ugh the grind is getting to me.. i think i'm going to have to go to greggs tomorrow (its a local resturant) and get some death by chocolate cake (its needs to be strawberry shortcake season damnit)

well, i guess thats it... i'm going to go send some perverted text messages to my husband (hahahh he's at work.. yes i'm a bitch lol) and then go to bed..

thanks to my friend mel at http://community.livejournal.com/lucid_design/profile

what do you think?

its a pouch, for a penis...

http://cgi. ebay. com. au/086YO-MENS-SEXY-STRETCH-PENIS-POUCH-UNDERWEAR_W0QQitemZ290296488016QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item290296488016&_trksid=p4634. c0. m14


its wall art to buy your mother in law..

http://www. etsy. com/view_listing. php?ref=sr_gallery_4&listing_id=20844311&ga_search_query=penis&ga_search_type=tag_title


and crayons to make your kids kindergarten teacher go WTF

http://www. etsy. com/view_listing. php?listing_id=20797265


:) tell me what youthink...

just got the call from my husband.. he goes back to work tomorrow!! thank goddess :)

just got home from the ER.. louis has RSV..

Louis is sick :( he's just not getting better.. one of the other babies in his room at daycare tested postive for RSV @@ god i HATE having to work.. the dr said on saturday he didn't have it.. but he's still weezing and coughing and blah.. i'm going to go fill the bathroom with steam and see if that helps.. if anyone else has any ideas..

also, i wanted to rip my husbands balls off, wrap them around his neck and shove them up his nose last night.. we had to wake louis up to drive craig back up to worcester and the poor kid screamed bloody murder for 35 minutes.. all i wanted to do was beat craig and tell him it was all his fault for being a dumbass.. that there was no way in hell ishould have had to take a sick kid out at night to drive 2hrs (an hour each way) because craig is too much of an idiot and won't go to work.. i'm so fucking frustrated i want to scream.. instead all i do is cry.. and now we don't even have health insurance so i cant even talk to a fucking dr about it.. i'm so tapped out..

anyway, i'm off ot see if i can get my son to breathe easier.. i'll post more later..

if i spend time shaving/grooming my girlie bits, then why the HELL would i want to buy panties like this?

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_2&listing_id=18476249&ga_search_query=rave+panties&ga_search_type=tag_title_all

explain please..

randome update...

(i alwasy freaking spell that word wrong..i have teh dumb)

anyway, Louis had the daycare crud.. spent the morning in the drs office gettinga breathing treatment and stuff.. trying to figure out how to pay for said drs appointment and perscriptions with no health insurance.. but stop and shop has free antibiotics and his prednisone was only $16.. the drs office let us do a payment plan..

craig is home for the weekend.. its nice having a partner in the house.. but it still throws me off.. i get used to being alone and then he's here.. still no clue whats going on with our marriage.. guess only time will tell..

other than that, not much is going on.. work is work.. sucks ass but it pays the bills.. did my taxes.. getting money back from the government is always a good thing..

how is everyone else?

ok.. i'm trying to stay sane.. so tell me, what makes you happy?

-my kids :) alexandra is turning out to be such a great big sister.. she loves louis and isn't jealous at all anymore.. she's a great helper and just overall awesome.. louis is growing and i love the clean baby smell :) being a mom rocks sometimes..

-my friends, here and IRL... they listen to me bitch and offer support.. you all mean so much to me and i appreciate it :)

- i have a job... just got the call from one of the girls i work with that she got fired today.. really glad my boss gave me the heads up and is willing to keep me...

-hawaiin punch :X i'm trying to get over my dependence on soda and trying to drink more water.. but hawaiin punch is awesome..lol

sooooo what makes you happy?

1. my husband hasn't really worked since louis was born in october.. which means we are now without health insurance..

2. the engine in his truck went on tuesday which means that even if he was working he'd have no way to get there

3. we ran out of heating oil today and i have $3 to my name

*sigh* i think i've fixed most of this though.. craig has an appointment tomorrow with a specialist and he'll try and get him to sign the disability paperwork..i doubt it will happen so sunday night i'll drive him up to worcester and have him stay there during the week so his bestfriend, who lives around the corner from his moms house and works at UPS as well, can drive him to work.

then, once i get my taxes back, i'll put a rebuilt engine into his truck.. we are still paying for the truck so it doesn't make much sense not to fix it.. if they repo it, we still have to pay the deficiancy balance and then try and get a new to us car.. not happening.. so he'll spend weeks up in worcester and i'll be in warren by myself during the week.. he works 2nd shift anyway so not much is different except for not having him here in teh mornings..

i talked to daycare and i am not paying them this week.. so ic an use the $285 i pay them weekly for the 2 kids to have oil put in the house.. hopefully they show up soon because its freaking freezing in here... that and i need to take a shower..

this is SO not how i though married life was going to be..i understand craig is in alot of pain and doesn't feel good and working int he UPS warehouse has to suck ass.. but come on.. we have a newborn in teh house.. and right now, my $12 an hour job is supporting all 4 of us.. most weeks i can't even afford food for the house after bills are paid, but because he hasn't been fired from work, his income still counts against us so i don't qualify for WIC or foodstamps.. right now ijust want to be able to afford formula and food.. and maybe some heating oil.. is that really too much to ask for?

*sigh* and now LJ is supposedly tanking.. this is my favorite site.. i may not post alot, but i try to read and its the best place i've found to meet new people that aren't stupid :X i hate facebook and am gettin gbored with myspace... :(

blah... i'm freezing..


*edited post to spell my sons name right.. accidently gave him a sex change from louis to louise :X bad momma.. lol

Dear New England and its residents:

it is December 31, 2008.. EVERY year around this time, a special kinda miracle happens..water that normally falls from the sky as rains freezes and forms snow flakes.. while this is an amazing feat of nature, it is not something that should take you as surprise every time it happens. it is part of living in new england.

That said, PLEASE for all that is Holy or unholy, or what ever you believe in, learn how to FUCKING DRIVE IN THE SNOW! it does NOT require you to drive 5 miles an hr on 195 and it does NOT entitle you to being a bigger jackass than normal and cut me off..it takes a hell of alot longer to stop when you slide in snow..

Also, to the towns and governments in New England.. PLEASE learn how to listen to the local weather man when they predict 4-10 inches of snow and don't jsut figure we can drive over it. PLOW THE DAMN ROADS.. pawtucket was a night mare and the highways aren't much better and we won't even get into how bad the streets in warren were when i got home..

*sigh* i hope everyone got home safely today and has a good new year.. if you're going out tonight be safe (and try not to freeze your ass off..)

i'm going to play World of Warcraft while craig watches clint eastwood movies and we take turn with the children.. such an exciting life we live, eh?