urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_endangered Baby, I'm bad news Samantha 2008-03-07T00:13:02Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_endangered:62377 2008-03-07T00:00:37Z 2008-03-07T00:00:37Z <font face="georgia"> <i> <center> <br />look me in the eye and tell me no love is like our love. <br />i love you.</i></font></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_endangered:62101 2008-01-29T18:17:29Z 2008-01-29T18:17:29Z <b>"fifteen battered husbands file compaints"</b><br /><i>by: jack shadoian</i><br /><br /><br />Mark:<br /><br />my wife conked me with a frying pan, boing-ng-g! <br />like in a comic strip. it hurt! "boing-ng-g!"<br />is painful.<br /><br /><br />Robert:<br /><br />mine breaks dishes--it's expensive!<br />I pay for them, I know.<br />she breaks, I pay<br /><i>and</i> she makes me clean up too.<br /><br /><br />Angelo:<br /><br />I have to, you know, play with her?<br />or else, or ELSE!<br />it's tough...<i>she's</i> tough, <br />but what's a guy to do--get decked?<br />you should see her fists.<br /><br /><br />Alan:<br /><br />her enigmas worked on me like drugs;<br />I was always slightly enthralled<br />you ever been enthralled?<br />it's not as good as it sounds.<br /><br /><br />Heinrich:<br /><br />she throws <i>this</i> at me: "it was more than<br />chance that brought you here."<br />what could it mean?<br />you tell me.<br /><br /><br />Alexander:<br /><br />Francseca wipes her pussy with my apron.<br />that there's a message. I feel...un-<br />comfortable...abused,<br />but she just laughs.<br /><br /><br />Cory:<br /><br />Brenda makes me eat sardines,<br />"good for me." the whole house <br />reeks of fish oil.<br />reeks, man, reeks! my clothes...here...<br />smell!<br /><br /><br />Leonard:<br /><br />she (I can't say her name)<br />exploits my ticklishness<br />in front of guests.<br />no big deal, maybe, but I always<br />get a hard-on<br />it's embarrassing<br /><br /><br />Jonathon:<br /><br />if I edge slightly ahead in argument<br />(and I tend to, being smarter),<br />she punches at me, scratches,<br />tears my sin, <br />kicks my ankles.<br /><br /><br />Harold:<br /><br />mine batters me in bed, in sleep.<br />see these bruises? fresh ones,<br />from last night. she doesn't know<br />she's doing it (so she says)<br />would you slug her back?<br /><br /><br />Sidney:<br /><br />I used to worship Evelyn, until<br />she drank up all our money.<br />my fault, she said.<br />she sits by the window all day, drinking,<br />cursing me.<br />I used to worship her.<br /><br /><br />Buell:<br /><br />Monica has been trashing me for years.<br />verbal abuse that never stops.<br />"Oh, Christ," I sigh, after<br />several hours, "Fuck <i>me</i>."<br />she sympathizes:<br />"that's right, asshole, fuck you."<br /><br /><br />Theodore:<br /><br />Maggie, my second, really packs a wallop.<br />I caught her with my neighbor, <br />and his wife, the three of them!<br />she punched me in the mouth.<br />it bled.<br />"I was bored," she explained.<br /><br /><br />Henry:<br /><br />once in a while I try to touch her<br />when we watch TV. you know, like<br />during an ad or something.<br />she gives me dirty looks<br />and strokes the cat.<br /><br /><br />Orville: <br /><br />Nancy sets the egg-timer when she blows me,<br />like she's holding up her end of some bargain.<br />business. a courtesy. no better or worse<br />than anything else she's had to do that day.<br />she's got me! how can I complain?<br />I'd feel like a prize ingrate knocking<br />such three righteous minutes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_endangered:61598 2007-11-08T03:46:54Z 2008-03-07T00:05:18Z <center><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f273/ewwsamantha/meryl.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a><br /><font face="georgia"> <i>meryl streep is seriously gorgeous.</center></font></i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_endangered:61286 2007-08-21T07:09:19Z 2008-03-07T00:03:47Z <center><lj-embed id="1" /><br /><br /><font face="georgia"> <i><br />+i am happy.<br />+life is good.</font></i></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_endangered:60038 2006-09-20T01:36:47Z 2008-03-07T00:06:10Z <center><font face="georgia"><i>Ahoy! Ye scully dogs, avast. Today be National Talk Like A Pirate Day! arrrrrrrrrrr.</font></i></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_endangered:59362 2006-06-12T04:30:54Z 2008-03-07T00:10:57Z <center><font face="georgia"><i>happy birthday to me.</center></font></i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_endangered:58980 2006-06-08T02:58:20Z 2008-03-07T00:13:02Z <center><font face="georgia"><i><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br />10 BANDS/SONGS I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO LATELY<br />1:wyclef//sweetest girl<br />2:remy ma<br />3:rah digga<br />4:lil kim<br />5:chris brown;jordin sparks//no air<br />6:alice smith<br />7:b spears<br />8:underoath<br />9:meg & dia<br />10:gorilla zoe//hood nigga<br /><br />9 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO<br />1:blake<br />2:silly<br />3:$$$<br />4:philosophy<br />5:sleep<br />6:summer<br />7:driving<br />8:working out<br />9:flea<br /><br /><br />8 THINGS I LIKE TO WEAR<br />1:juicy perfume<br />2:black boots<br />3:juicy couture sweats<br />4:black pumps<br />5:hollister hoodie<br />6:black patterned tights<br />7:dkny turtleneck<br />8:earnest sewn jeans<br /><br />7 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME<br />1:"would of" vs "would have"<br />2.the sound of people eating<br />3:complainers<br />4:hypocrites<br />5:people<br />6:paying for gas<br />7:being bored<br /><br />6 THINGS I LOVE<br />1:silly<br />2:blake<br />3:music<br />4:paula deen!<br />5:elephants<br />6:$$$<br /><br />5 PEOPLE I WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH<br />1:silly<br />2:blake<br />3:patrick<br />4:ashley<br />5:zuhal & the perkins girls<br /><br /><br />3 MOVIES I COULD WATCH OVER& OVER AGAIN<br />1:rumor has it<br />2:along came polly<br />3:the break up<br /><br />2 OF MY FAVORITE SONGS AT THE MOMENT<br />1:wyclef//sweetest girl<br />2:chris brown;jordin sparks//no air<br /><br />1 THING I'D RATHER BE DOING<br />1: home with my boo blakey &lt;3<br /></center></font></i>