Find space to pull the needles through

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2007-08-20T06:42:00

2007-08-20T11:02:11Z

CHASE

The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of yourself. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can assume the appearance of threatening figure. You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser. Next time you have a chase dream, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you.�

One may be consumed by their own anger, jealousy, love, or self-destructive behavior. For example, you may be drinking too much or exhibiting open hostility toward others around you. You may subconsciously be threatened by these actions which have been jeopardizing your relationships and/or career. Your dreams are a way of calling attention to these self-destructive actions.

A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked. Such dreams are more common among women than men, who may feel physically vulnerable in the urban environment. These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault in which we are so over-exposed from the media.

CRASH

To dream that you are in a car crash, indicates that your beliefs, lifestyle, or goals are clashing with another's. It may also represent a shocking situation or painful experience. Alternatively, car crashes may forewarn of your dangerous or careless driving habits.

CRY

To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and a way to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In our daily lives, we tend to ignore, deny, or repress our feelings. But in our dream state, our defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of such emotions.

To wake up crying, represents some suppressed hurt or previous trauma that is coming up to the surface. You can no longer suppress these emotions. They need to be dealt with head on.

CUT

To dream that you have a cut, suggests that you are being let down or being undermined. Alternatively, it refers to feminine sexuality and feminine attitudes toward sex. In particular, if the cuts are on your legs, then it symbolizes an imbalance. You are unable to stand up for yourself.

To dream that you are cutting yourself, indicates that you are experiencing some overwhelming turmoil or problems in your waking life. You are trying to disconnect yourself from the unbearable pain you are experiencing.

CHEATING

To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem.

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2007-05-26T03:04:00

2007-05-26T07:07:00Z

I'm drunk right now, nad I want nothing more than to go home. home home home. Kelly June home. The only way Ic an ever let anything out is by t alking instead of keeping everything bottled up. And the only person I can talk to is kelly because she i s the only person who doesn't think thatI;m crazy and a drunk piece of shit.
Don't be surprised if I drive yo Detroit tonight.
I am the biggest piece of shit and I don't want anyone.

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2007-05-07T12:17:00

2007-05-07T16:19:05Z

I'm moving back to Detroit.
I can't wait.
I'm out of here asap. I need school. and things to do. and a real job. and my family.
PEACE.

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2006-10-14T16:48:00

2006-10-14T20:48:20Z

and i got my smiley pierced.

and life is treating me pretty okay right now<3.

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2006-06-05T15:36:00

2006-06-05T19:36:29Z

I'm moving this weekend.

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2006-04-22T16:16:00

2006-04-22T20:17:00Z

I'm having an amazing time living.
♥

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2006-04-03T17:19:00

2006-04-03T21:37:10Z

Every part of life is good
Except home life.
My Mom is literally crazy. Like no joke.
I've beeen missing a ton of school and am in big time jeporady of not graduating. cool.
It's not that I haven't wanted to go. I do. I fuckign want to graduate and get the fuck out of this house.
But all the 3000.00 my dad gave my mom until the end of my school year. SPENT.
My mom fucking spent it all on her own selfishness
That money was for food in the fridge, gas money for rides to school, gas money for her to make sure i get where i need to go, money for my school lunch account, senior pictures. ALL of those things. and it's all gone.
So guess what that means? I have NONE of those things. My older sister had to bring me a bag of food today.
I'm poor. We're poor because my mom is a fucking psycho idiot.
I seriously hope she dies. She needs to. And that isn't a lie. She should have never had kids. EVER.
Thanks for nothing Mom
So I haven't been going to school for those reasons.
Finding rides last minute isn't easy.
And if you don't have gas money to give them, why the fuck would they care about you?
I don't blame them.
fuck everyoen dude. ha
Life.
I need a place to live. now. now now now now now.
I can't be here any longer.
I am going to end up a kid on the street one day
because I'm going to explode. and blow up. and not want to be here.
and I'm going to spend the whole night walking.
It scares me.

I walked to Kelly's house wednesday night at 1am like 4 miles away.
I was scared since the incident in Detroit that happened.
I clenched on to a metal bracelet the whole way and ran half the way.
I wanted to cry but at the same time just get where I ahd to be , to see Kelly
She made me feel alot better
We sat up until 5am and she put extensions in my hair and we ate food and drank juice boxes.
More people need to be like her.

For the next two months anything that anyone could do with a place for me to crash, or take me with them to shows, and just hang out would be alot of help to me.

I'm already breaking down slowly being here.
Someone help me.
I know you brothers and sisters care alot more than my mom does.
shes crazy.

Babe is in a nursing home too.
I guess my dad didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings on top of all the stress going on right now in my life.
My sister told me. I'm glad she did. But it really does add up.
They don't think she will make it more than 2 weeks.
And if it happens when I'm in Boston. I don't think I will be able to forgive myself.

Boston with Lisa, Matt and some other peopel will be good.
A good get away. surrounded by frineds.
what i need.

THAT'S IT.

2006-02-23T05:59:10Z

I'm moving
FARFARFARFARFAR away.
This is the one thing that I will do for MYSELF in my life.

why?

because of you you you YOU you you and you. oh yeah, you.
you all are idiots and you're driving me absolutly insane.
I will move away. and delete my stupid myspace, or just all of my friends on it. and start clean, fresh slate. for ME.
and as for all of you? Sit here in your own filth, and your own grief, and your own ignorance and bliss and stupidity.

Gahh.
I'm not even angry. Just tired. of everything
drained. emotionally. mentally, whatever.
You are all sickening to me.

Fix it. or something. Either way though. these next two years.
Will be saved, to leave.
<3
the end.

if you care enough to read it. then do it.

2006-02-16T03:40:17Z

So I feel like typing. About nonsense. about my life. about the world. about people. But it might actually be kind of interesting .. if you take the time to read it. Who knows. You'll never know until you read it.

WHAT IS BOTHERING ME ALOT.

-People- one second they are someone to your face, and then they turn around and are someone else. You all are the fucking same. Smae boring outfits, boring things to say, with your cars, and your stupid hair, and your dumb Coach purses, and you guys especially the younger ones, always trying to be something because of everyone else. No one breathes for themselves anymore, or does anything from the heart, it's all about what looks good. What the fuck happened to what feels good? or right even? You're all the same. trying to be tough, or mean, or pissy, or trying to act like you know everything, or brag about lyke omg my mom is buying my a new car, and lyke I'm going to CANCUN for SPRING BREAK 06 OMGZ. Fuck Cancun. I hope you catch a disease. and fuck your new car. You shouldn't be proud. you didn't work for anything. People are so self absorbed these days and I notice it all the fucking time. I'm always as curtious and as pleasant as I can be, but damn, people are so rude. I love you ones that stare too in the mall, and then walk away casually talking about how much better you are than me and everyone else. Or how dirty she looks. Or how gross her gauged ears are. Or how poor he looks. Shut up and stop playing it so fucking high and mighty. because you aren't anything special.

-My Mom- It is my senior year right? My senior pictures are waiting to be ordered. My Daddy just wrote my Mother whom I reside with a check for 3000.00 so he wouldn't have to pay child support, and she did just what we knew she would. spent it allll on herself. It's suppose to go for Gas to get me to and from school and work. To food. because we neevr have any. For the bills that never get paid, and for extra money for me when I have none. And what does the broad do? Spent it all on herself. I now have no health insurance, no car, no nothing. no food, no ride to school. I'm in danger of not making it out of high school with my class. not getting senior pictures, not getting my senior hoodie, no last year book. I'm basically missing out on my whole high school life. I feel singled out. All my other sisters got all those things, why can't I? I hate her. She's selfish and something I never want to be. Thank God I have my sister to help me save for Spring Break. California. finally, a real escape. But what I really want to do, is move. far and leave this place forever and never look back. I wish it was as easy as taking the things and people I loved with me, and leaving everyone shitty to rot in their own.

-School- I can't pull through. I need new glasses, and I feel like I'm not making it. I'm sinking in . I'm failing. And I have the easiest classes ever, and I'm failing. I'm undecisive. I have been wanting to get alot of tests done with my doctor. but right now, that is impossible without health insurance. I need tests done about my sleep, because I have what they call "sleep attacks", I want to be put back on BC, I want tests done with my head, and my Bi Polar disorder, and see what is really going on inside my crazy head.

-Friends- I don't even know what to think of alot of you most of the time. You confuse me, I don't even know if you are true. I'm losing the grasp between reality and fake.
AND. You idiots doing drugs. WTF. Whatever. Fuck you. Figure it out. I've lost 2 friends to drugs in the past year, Both in their teens. and one was MURDERED SO FUCK YOU. fuckfuckfuckfuck you. If you want to die, go for it. Destroy yourself. Because if you're stupid enough to get into that shit. Then fuck you. I don't want to have to care or go to another funeral you fucking jerks. If you don't even care about yourself to do that shit, then you clearly can't care about me, and can just erase yourself from my life right now.

WHAT IS MAKING ME SMILE

-My Job- I love my work , and i make really good money there. And even though I am exhausted with everything, I need it more now than ever. I have to get out of here soon. My mom, is clinically insane and I hate her. I love the people I work around and mostof the people that I talk to. and the people I work with. They are a good family.

-My Relationship-Let's just say, it's alot better this time around .And I enjoy having someone to give me cute surprises and being reassured that someoen cares about me<3.

-Traveling- I have got to see alot of things in my life. Virginia was amazing, eevrything about it was amazing, and I met amazing people. I am going to a new state every month until I graduate. I just want to travel the whole world. and see everything, and meet everyone.

-Myself- Even if you don't like the person I am becoming. All of this crap that is tearing me down, I know will only make me stronger, It's just hard getting through it all. I like the strong, determined individual I am becoming .I am eighteen now, and can move out. It's just that whole saving the money part that is rough, But I promise my Daddy, my sisters, and anyone who meets me, that I will never be my mother. I am ashamed that I came out of her. She is good looking., but selfish. And my Dad is the complete opposite. I am glad that i inherited more of his good qualities rather than hers. Though Bi Polar is passed down, I'm trying to be on the up side rather than the down. I do not want to be crazy like my mom. I refuse to. I am still trying to quit smoking, it is happening, slowly, but surely.

that is my like once in a 6 month rant to all of you who cared
---Lindsay----

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2006-02-03T21:48:00

2006-02-04T03:03:02Z

I'm not going to tell about EVERYTHING we did, because only the people that were there will know how amazing it was.
Ten hour drive there. It got hectic, but we made the best of it. Went to a park and took a ton of pictures well the LOSERS slept in the car and played Playstation. bahaha. sleepy fuckers. Sooo. WEEEEE went hiking and made fires under the pavillion. and were fivee years old again. in the warm sun, in VIRGINIA.

we were told there were amish people here. so we pumped water

you would look this bad too at 8am after a ten hour drive. jerks

much better than michi weather<3

stay posi. [mike peed on the fire]

Basically we had a really amazing time. and i met people i will keep in touch with for a long time. TN <3 , NC, Boston. you all rule.
Matty. you are so awesome for letting us stay at your house. i<3you.
Joe. Your feet smelled after you guys played haha i am never sleeping next to your feet again <3<3 bahaha

i<3VA

Sup NY? :)

_elephnt_grvyrd @ 2005-11-29T23:45:00

2005-11-30T04:46:24Z

FRIENDS ONLY SUCKA

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eat shit.