Athletic Meth Face: "Can I get a pack of Pyramid Blue 100's?"
Me: "No man we only carry Pyramid red and Menthol 100's."
A.M.F: "Really? You guys fucking SUCK! That's fucking stupid. I'll just go to Smith's then."
Me: "Sorry man. Have a good one."
*Guy leaves then comes back like 10 seconds later*
A.M.F: "Can I use your phone real fast? I lost my mine."
Me: "No. Sorry. This is for business use only." *Grinning hard in anticipation of his response. We also have a lead pipe behind the counter;)*
A.M.F: "Are you fucking serious?!?!"
A.M.F: "You guys fucking suck and your store fucking sucks!" *Angrily turns around and starts walking out*
Me: "I'm sure Smith's will have a phone you can use..."
A.M.F: "Fuck you!" *Stops Suddenly before walking out the door* "I've been here since the 80's and I'm a long time customer! Who is your Boss?!"
A.M.F: "Tell Mike he fucking sucks and his shop fucking sucks!!!!"
Me: "Can I have your name and phone number? I'll have him call you."
A.M.F: "Fuck you!"
Me: "Thank you sir. Have a nice day!"
Obviously after he left I called my boss and let him know that some meth head, who smokes shitty cigarettes thinks he and his smoke shop sucks.
Those are the kind of customers I get at the smoke shop. At the Library I deal with a whole different breed of asshole and I have to deal with them in a completely different way. I usually get bitched out by a few self righteous people who think we owe them everything because they get everything for free at the Library. A couple weeks ago on a completely packed Sunday (we're only open 4 hours so I get all of my crazies at once in addition to everyone else who is trying to fit a full day in only those 4 hours) some bitch came in. She was very top heavy. You know? Fat, Skinny Legs, short cut off jean shorts, dirty orange tank top, messy red / brown hair with an American flag bandanna:
Fat Red Haired Demon: "Will you unlock that computer so I can use it?"
Me: "Sorry I can't. If the computer is locked that means someone is actually using it."
F.R.H.D: "Will theres no computers available and I want to use it."
Me: "Sorry. We are obviously extremely busy and if you want to use a computer your either going to have to make a reservation or just use a computer on one of the other four floors."
F.R.H.D: "So your not going to unlock it for me?"
Me: "No I can't." *pointing her towards the reservation station obviously frustrated*
*She leaves and comes back a half hour later to let me know how much I upset her*
F.R.H.D: "I just want to let you know that I don't appreciate that you have to be so stiff. All I wanted to do was use that computer for a few minutes." *she just has this nasty look on her face that I just want to slap off*
Me: "Lady I told you someone was already using it. I don't have a right to kick someone else off just so you can use it."
F.R.H.D: *scoff* "What ever. You are very rude." *starts walking out*
Me: "Just doing my job...(under my breath) bitch."
And the meaner you are the better I'll do my fucking job.