I'm writing possibly my most positive journal entry yet. What a night!

I. I started out the day very cynical. I've been dreading jam sessions with the guys only because we've been improving and as such we've also started getting egotistic and on each others' nerves (although not nearly as much as a real band). I'll be honest; it's only one person who's really starting to get to me and he's not even a regular member. He is starting to influence everyone else and turning them against me which I really don't appreciate. I'll shut up about that now. I was waiting for Josh to call me in the afternoon. We were supposed to arrange a meeting with some old ex-friends I wanted to make peace with. Of course Mr. Unreliable never called me throughout the whole day but I'm used to it now. I know I'm a hypocrite in saying this but I hate it when your good friends are unreliable. I've been asked why I try so hard to get on the good side of people who treat me horribly but I'll elaborate on that another day. Before I left, I did a little browsing and happened to notice that a girl that I've really been interested in as a friend was getting e-friendly with someone we both know (who I don't happen to be crazy about). I'm only human and of course this insignificant friendly banter drove me nuts. I tried to talk myself out of making too big a deal of it.

II. So I reluctantly went over to James' and was joined by Anthony soon after. We played a fine, fun set. We're not quite as tight as we should be but it was only our second jam session. We played songs by Tom Petty ("Mary Jane's Last Dance", "American Girl", The Waiting"), Buddy Holly ("It's So Easy"), Looking Glass ("Brandy") and The Stone Roses ("She Bangs the Drums"). It was a hell of a session and I had a lot more fun than I'd expected. We left around seven-thirty to explore the Santa Anita mall during the Christmas rush.

III. The evening really took off for me when we drove to the mall. I sat in the car with two very good friends of mine who have been treating me very nicely. I suddenly realized instead of spending so much time worrying about unreliable people and a girl who has no idea that she's driving me insane, I should wake up and smell the nostalgia in the making taking place right in front of me. I ignored everything else and just sung along very loud and off-key with James and Ant to "More than a Feeling".

When we got the mall it was expectedly crowded as Hell's waiting room for lawyers. Our first objective was to visit the mall Santa and the Christmas tree. It's been my lifelong goal to pester a traditional mall Santa ever since my innocence went on strike. So we went up to the VERY convincing old dude and his plainclothes elf, expecting her to come up to ask us to leave without a fuss. Instead she got a little sassy with me. I don't blame her. She was working mighty hard on a job she probably hated and I do admit we weren't perfect little angels. We stood around like idiots doing nothing and I accidentally blurted out "DAMN!" when i noticed how convincing he was and a father shot a dirty look at us.

So we stood around like idiots and chatted up the cute "secretary" and got nowhere (although we got a laugh out of her somehow, I forgot what it was we said) although we promised to come back before Christmas Eve when we actually had something interesting to say. I voted that we should come back and tell him we're a band and we need a name for Christmas.

Then we just went into random stores to soak up the atmosphere; Coffee Bean, Sport Chalet, Spencer's Gifts, K-B Toys (where I bought Josh the gayest, most Barneyish educational kid's DVD for two dollars as "revenge" for flaking on us) and some others. We also stopped at Borders where James and Anthony started playing with the electronic twenty questions games and started asking me the dumbest questions with a straight face. I don't know why but that made me laugh like a maniac.

"Is it sweet?"
"Is it a common household item?"
"Can it be folded?"
"Is it round?"

IV. After the mall we came back to my place and finished off two pizzas from Papa John's. We then started playing around with three hacky sacks and making up the dumbest games (ex: bat two hacky sacks around and on every tenth round, switch with the person next to you and name a random country LOL). At this point we were easily amused so we were laughing our asses off every time someone dropped one or said something really dumb. You'd think we were all drunk.

Then we watched Jingle All the Way, Elf and an episode of Sanford and Son while making crank calls and making up more hacky sack games. Good times, good times.

V. So all in all, I put aside my pressing troubles to enjoy the evening but in a few hours I'm going to have to wake up to reality again. Then I'll have to worry about that girl, find out what happened to Josh and catch up on my sea of homework in one day (which I never do).

No matter what happens I am still trying my very best to stay true to my pact of sustaining a feeling of goodwill and love. I'm also trying just as hard to maintain strength and appreciation in moments of doubt and misfortune. It's very difficult as people are trying so hard to resist positivity these days and life is truly doing its best in lowering my spirits.

If there's anything I've learned over the past few years is that it's important to build your strength. Sometimes it's all you'll have.

Wish me good luck. I wish you the best.

All the best,
Jasper