Unbelievable.
I was watching "Blow Out" yesterday, which is reality tv's spin on life in a Beverly Hills hair salon. After close, the whole gang of stylists went out for a good old fashioned botox party. Around six or seven people gathering to a plastic surgery tee-pee (for lack of a better noun), applying a numbing creme to their face and getting INJECTED with botox. It's come to this, my simple minded friends - people are shooting up in packs now. You can't even begin to understand the level of superficiallity this world has come to, when the hottest trend in LA is a party for face lifts. I'll have to admit, a small piece of me loves it; the piece that finds giggles in other's misfortune and overall blockheadedness. No, actually, I'm rather taken aback, in a fascinated way by this concept. Plastic surgery has become so socially accepted these days that we can actually establish little get-togethers for group alterations. "Marty, call Sal. The gang is gonna go out and get ass-lifts. Gotta admit, the old poop-chute's been lookin a little droopy lately, and needs a firm tug in the right direction. Better call Jerry, and Bertha, too - their asses are mighty flabby these days." Bodily modifications are acceptable enough to produce high-rated shows about, centering around a fat girl's desire to be thin, an ugly girl's desire to be pretty, a sad girl's desire to look like a celebrity. It isn't exploitation anymore - it's family-fun entertainment. We can all watch "The Swan" and cheer victoriously when the ugly single mom gets surgically transformed into a 48% silicon-based mutation, with a plastic smile and uncomfortably high eyebrows. We can watch "Extreme Makeover" and marvel over Tina's new tits, inwardly and guiltlessly pondering the prospect ourselves. We can watch "I Want a Famous Face" and laugh at the assclown who goes under the knife to look more like Brad Pitt, and comes out, looking exactly the same, but we love it.

You don't have to hate something about yourself any more. Chances are, you can probably have it cut off, sucked out, slimmed down, shot up, pulled, stretched, stuffed, or stapled. All for the fancy low price of $200 Tuesdays on Sunset Boulevard - hey, 6 people parties get the 7th injection free! How can you lose?

Somebody should have told Mary-Kate this, before she went the old fashioned anorexia root. Psh. Anorexia is so 2002.