i miss my dog a lot today :(

i really wish i had the chance to say goodbye.

and then things happen in life that remind me why i can't trust people.
however, i am flawed and like to see the best in people.

it's all a bit ironic i know. i am a bit of a massive contradiction.

but thankyou, for reminding me why i am the way i am.

i am sitting under orion's belt.
i want to swallow it whole,
maybe then i can burn forever
i love the sound of the ocean tonight.
i wish i could record it and play it back to you
over and over and over again.

your face has burned itself onto the back of my eyelids.

they say you always learn something about yourself when you leave a relationship.

my exboyfriend taught me that i was a flawed person. i could change myself, but it would never be enough. i would always be a never ending string of flaws. you could fix one thing, but then there would always be something else. when we broke up, all my flaws that he fixed slowly returned to me one by one. i am like the leopard who couldn't change their spots.

things to remember (and never forget):-
teeth marks on skin
warm arms to shield you from the world
steady heartbeats & slow breathing
kisses goodbye
rainbows after the rain
warm breaths on damp skin
cigarettes on a cold winter day
my hand in your pocket
the exquisite pain


i'm exploding too slowly for anyone to notice.

everytime i see you i fall more and more in love with everything that could be.

i like to think my mother taught me well as a child.

things like lining up and waiting for your turn. like saying thankyou and sorry. like giving up your seat on the train for the elderly.

i like to think i am a decent person.

then you get OLD BALDING MEN who push infront of you at 7-11, (my foot is a pool of blood inside my boot mind you, but that is beside the point...) regardless... IT'S WRONG.

and THIS is why, the world will always have jackasses. because there are people like this cuntrash teaching their kids it's okay to do stuff like this.

and yes, during my many years in retail - i have witnessed the many Baldiess egging their innocent four year to do the wrong thing.

WHY IS IT EVEN LEGAL FOR IDIOTS LIKE THIS TO BREED.

I've had a fucking shit day.

end rant.

i always feel thirsty these days. i'm not too sure why. maybe it's because i always have my heater on.

i'm also posting a lot of rubbish after not posting for such a long time.

i'm watching way too much ghibli.

and i am addicted to the beginning is the end is the beginning and have it on repeat

oh yeah, i'm sick again too.

see you all again when i make another pointless post in approx 15 hours from now (most likely when i wake up)