Challenge Response #88

If you could take back one thing you said in anger, what would it be and why?

Muse: Barbara Gordon (Oracle)
Fandom: Birds Of Prey/DCU Batverse
Word Count: 255 words

I've said many things I regret - the temper comes with the red hair, the frustration from having a mind that's always worked faster than everyone else's, and the bitterness from my disability and its impositions.

It isn't pretty, and I'm not proud of it, but there it is. After a while, you either learn to accept it and deal, or you end up hating yourself. Self-hatred has never exactly been my thing, so…

Still, there is this one time that I wish I'd thought before I spoke, and not let my frustration get the better of me. It hurt someone I care about very deeply.

I was working with Cassandra, a… friend, trying to teach her how to read and write. Her father, a bastard of an assassin, had raised her to be one as well - omitting such frivolous skills as basic literacy and the ability to speak.

I didn't realize then that Cassie's background would mean we needed special teaching methods, and we were having no success with her lessons. Eventually, her pride grew as battered as my patience - it's her way to cover embarrassment with feigned disinterest - and tempers flared.

I… I called her stupid.

I didn't mean it at all, and I regretted it as soon as I'd said it, but the damage was done. The look on Cassie's face said more than any words could about how deeply I'd hurt her, and will probably stick with me forever.

She forgave me, in time, but I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself.