Once in a while, stars are born. Some argue that stars these days are made but very very rarely, there are stars that are born that shine the brightest. Michael Jackson was one of those stars who shone brightly for five generations before his light was suddenly extinguished. It is very difficult to describe how I feel now, especially after watching the memorial service and seeing his casket. It's difficult for me to bid farewell to a man whose music and lyrics and performances became like our comfortable family couch and helped shape me in many ways as a person and as a fan.

Growing up during the height of his career made me feel even more privileged to be his fan. Though I only had glimpses of him from TV or read about him in news articles, his songs made me feel somehow...closer to him. I suppose I could credit my Dad for introducing me to the music of the Jackson 5. He told me how sweet Michael Jackson sounded as a kid, singing songs that were written for older entertainers with a maturity that even surpassed these entertainers. I remember singing "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" and giggled when I listened to "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and it made me wonder if Michael ever got to experience that kind of Christmas.

Then I listened to his solo albums and fell in love with Thriller and Bad almost instantly. There was just something extraordinary about this man's lyricism that blew me away and even more so when he danced. I remember that, as a little girl, I wanted to learn how to dance like him and even dreamed of one day being able to ask him to teach me how to moonwalk. And of course, I saved like mad for my own Thriller jacket. I never got that jacket, but MJ was instrumental in influencing me how to curb my spendthrift ways. It seems like such a small thing to other people, but at that time, it was a pretty big thing for me.

Seeing how he'd inspired so many artists from both older and younger generations and how he'd touched the lives of millions of fans around the globe makes it even harder for me to believe that he is truly, physically gone. What has become like a permanent fixture of my childhood, like that old, familiar family couch is now gone. And I am sad.

His life was painful to watch, and as it continued to unfold through the barrage of controversy, I hoped that he would someday find peace and be able to make the biggest comeback in entertainment history like the man he worked hard to become. He's one reason why I can never let go of my inner child and perhaps, will not let go of it forever.

His success in breaking so many racial barriers and uniting people in the MJ Fever is what makes him legendary. I was surprised that he'd made it to the Guiness Book of Records for the most charitable institutions supported by a celebrity. I didn't know that. But that was probably because he had never been one to brag. During all his public appearances, interviews and such, he appealed for nothing but global healing and love for children. At that time, I was a little girl and when he had started his mission to bring more smiles to children, I felt like maybe I could believe in the world a little more.

Some might think I'm exaggerating, but a lot of what he did for the world made someone like me feel happy. I never got to see his concert in Manila, but he went out of his way to visit sick children in the hospitals in Manila and make them smile. It showed on his face how much joy he took in a child's laughter. And that was one reason why I held on to my belief throughout the controversies that Michael was innocent. Indeed, he was proven innocent but the damage had been done and my heart went out to him in the days that he was mocked and ridiculed by people who just refused to understand.

Others may say that he doesn't deserve this kind of tribute, that there are others who deserve much more, but I say that this was a fitting farewell. It was the best kind of send-off for someone who shaped so many lives by moonwalking and creating a form of escapism for us through his music.

Few are privileged to see such a star shine so brightly up close, but Michael made it possible for us to see him shine from every corner of the world. And for that, I thank him for all the music.

I love you, Michael Jackson and I will miss you.

"Smooth Criminal" tops the list as my favorite music video, but I love "Black or White" for the lyrics and how it was so ground-breaking in uniting racial divides. Or at least helped to make people more aware of racial discrimination. And "I'll Be There" sung by little Michael will always be one of those songs that tugs at my heart.

The tributes to him made me cry, which is probably silly of me, but I loved his music as a little girl. I feel like a huge part of my childhood is gone forever, because I had all his albums (and unfortunately, also had neighbors who ran off with them) and memorized his songs. And in spite of the child molestation allegations, I still stood by my belief that MJ was innocent. The man went through great lengths to protect his children from the paparazzi, it doesn't add up how he would molest a child. To me, it felt like greedy opportunists taking advantage of his money and how he was free with it. But of course, people choose what they want to believe.



Hotlinking is okay for this, I don't mind. Post it in your LJs or whatever. He deserves a salute...

And I would also like to say "FUCK YOU" to the ignorant skater punk idiot who was standing behind me in line at the bus terminal earlier when he said he was "happy that the sick child molester was dead." FUCK YOU. You may not like him, but disrespecting the dead is something that I would never forgive. See how you like it if someone close to you died and other people said they deserved it and spit on their grave.

Make a list ten things you want for Christmas, doesn't matter how impossible, so long as they're things you really, really want. Post the list to your journal with contact information. Who knows, maybe Santa will feel generous this year.

1. Ayami Kojima's Color Kingdom 3 artbook. I've always loved her artworks and I was shocked when I found that she was self-taught. And she doesn't use computer graphics in her artworks! This is the process she uses.

2. Nick Bantock's Griffin and Sabine Saga. Books are always a good gift, yes? =P

3. New boots. xD I like boots. Nothing too high, I don't want to kill my feet. xDD

4. One of Puimond's corsets. I can dream, can't I? Also, I was told by one of my favorite corset models that you get a 20% discount when you mention "Morganalovespuimond" at the check-out. *__* I love her, seriously. ♥

5. A trench coat. xPP Feel free to ask for my measurements. =PPP

6. 500 GB external. Because I'm running out of space. ;__;

7. Digital SLR camera. I'm so frustrated that I can't take pictures because whenever I do go out, there are way too many things I could take pictures of and it drives me crazy that I can't.

8. Knee-high socks/stockings. Because if you expect me to wear a skirt or shorts, I won't unless I have these. xDD

9. Cards. Creative, plain, crazy, cute, whatever. XD I don't mind getting cards in the mail and I WILL try to send out cards to those I have addresses of. xD;;

10. Fic. I'm not picky and for those who've RPed with me or have read my fic LJ, you know my fandoms. =P

( CONTACT INFO )

RE: LJ PROFILE LAYOUT FAIL - changeitback--A community for those dissatisfied with the new LJ profiles.

Please join this community. Even if you like the way the profiles currently are, please join and support those who are upset. This is about more than how profiles look: it's about the lack of respect LJ has been showing its users by not respecting their opinions and listening to their complaints. We just want to be heard, acknowledged, and have our thoughts taken seriously.



RE: FRIENDS CUT - I'll start whittling down the f-list, so for those who didn't get the notice, comment now.

You guys have one more week to comment here: http://users.livejournal.com/_defyingtheodds/197179.html

After that, I'll be doing my friends cut.

Breaking hiatus to announce that I am doing a friends cut.

I'm seriously tired of the drama and if I have to censor my posts even more, I'm going to get really mercenary. Considering that this LJ is already 100% friends only, I don't see why I still have to censor posts because this is my LJ and I use it to rant and to vent and to write down things I wouldn't normally say. I'd like to just go back to the whole attitude I once had about this LJ and that would be "If you don't like it, don't read it."

Also, there are some people who have added me out of the blue whom I don't even know and unfortunately, have not even commented on any of my entries. Let's be honest with each other: if I'm just someone you added for the sake of having a common fandom and nothing more, I think it's a little too shallow a reason to be here. I have other more public LJs and this one's terribly personal.

There will be certain LJs I will still be friending by default, especially if I know them from way back in college or if they're someone I would trust with my life. But for everybody else, you're going to have to comment now and say if you want to stay or not. This is the first cut I'm doing and I think that it's become necessary.

Comments will be screened. You have two weeks to comment.

Unfortunately, my internet is screwy at the moment and accessing journals is iffy. Sometimes when I click on one journal to comment, the page times out. I don't know what's wrong with my browsers but sadly, I'll probably not be able to catch up on my f-list until next week. Hopefully by then, things will get better.

Also, RPing will have to be put on hold. D: This makes me sad because I love RPing and it relaxes me. I'm terribly sorry to those I'm RPing with. ;___;

TCG trades will have to be put on hold. Or, you could email me instead since I can access my email still.

*SIGH*

This really sucks.