Make Lunch Not War

GET YOUR TRUE FACTS AND ORIGINAL WRITING RIGHT HERE

2008-04-08T19:43:36Z

snagged from na_no_nai because I'm supposed to be unstuck from the writer's block o' carpenter's glue thing but no, I'm not.

FANFICTION WRITERS MEME

How about a brief introduction for yourself?

I'm Deb. I have hypographia. When I'm not writing fanfic, I'm typing nonsense syllables on the keyboard.

Fabulous! And what got you into fanfiction to begin with?

Before I knew what fanfic was, I wrote a story about HG Well's War of the Worlds. I was 12. I found out what fanfic was when I started combing the internet for X-files spoilers. I started reading it when my son got into DBZ. I started writing it when some fanficcing women dared me. I'm the sort of person who takes dares. I do indeedy. I WROTE DRAGONBALL Z PORN.

I see, so what kind of fanfiction do you like to write?

I write about characters I love in situations I find psychologically challenging and gosh, I write teh fluff and teh pr0ns and the vignettes and the occasional chaptered fic. Can't say that I really LIKE to write any of it--it's more of a burning compulsion to get the ideas out of my head to stop the SHINGIGAMI voices from haunting me.

Do you find writing easy? Hard? What are the most difficult aspects of writing you struggle with?

Writing is a bitch. The more you practice the more some aspects get easier. I was never a natural with dialogue. Struggled with dialogue all in Creative Writing school. Took having an actress for a beta for three years as a fanfic writer to help me get a real grip on
dialogue. Now I find dialogue easier than other aspects of story-telling.

Write a few sentences or so of your favorite pairing or character.

No. I don't want to. Like I said, I'm stuck.

Anything I'd write right now would go... let's see... ISHIDA IS NAKED, HE IS SO NAKED, HE IS NAKED ALL OVER.

Are there any fanfiction clichés or trends you’re sick of or just can’t stand?

If there's something I can't stand, I don't read. I know about the trends, but I'm more interested in them from an anthropological point of view than a literary one. I like to see what sets them off. Like--is the trend from some event in the source material or from some very popular fic or fanon idea?

Are you guilty of any fanfiction clichés you hate? Or any other ones?

I'm certain I'm guilty of cliches. People tell me quite often, though, that they've never read stories like mine before. I think that OCCASIONALLY I do write weird, innovative stuff. This may be because I totally fail at following genre convention--like writing good porn, for example. I try to write honest porn a lot of the time--where girls don't have orgasms and people fart. I don't think I write sexy porn.

What was the first fandom you wrote for, and do you still like/participate in it?

Dragonball Z. I still love the series. Rarely will I read fanfic though. Only if one of my old favorite authors writes something.

Name your OTPs or most frequently written pairings/characters and explain what it is about them that you love to write.

Ahhhhhhh.

Ishida and Orihime. Their most wonderful canon moments were in the SS arc--teamwork, devotion, she made Ishida less uptight, she seemed to blossom with competency in his presence--they were both such goofy adorable dorks. I ADORE THIS COUPLE. They seem made for one another.

Shinji and Hiyori. I've just rediscovered them. quaedam made me fall for them so long ago, and Shinji was the only character I ever RPed. There's something timeless about their dynamic. Aggressive affection, yeah.

Renji and Ishida. My first yaoi pairing in Bleach, believe it or not, even though I've written more of others. My first yaoi story was Renji and Ishida even when it was total crack. They just looked so damn fine together--very classic seme uke. Lately their canon interactions in the HM have just made me crazy. Renji's been so protective of Ishida and their interactions have been so funny and damn cute. I LOVE EM.

Ishida and Ichigo. Damn if I didn't think this was a boring couple but I started writing them and the dynamic was irresistable--it's the push and pull of water droplets and planets, like Kubo described in their volume poem. Even if its not sexual (and it's just plain fun to make it sexual), it's a great relationship of opposites.

Aizen and Gin. Mr. and Mrs. Evil? There's so much unknown about them so it's hard to play them as major characters in a story but I loooove writing this pair. Every word tastes good as its being realized in an Aizen and Gin dialogue.

Urahara and Yoruichi. I've had so much fun with these two.

Chad. The king of the one-liner in an ensemble fic.

What would you call your writing “style”?

Over-done.

Do you read other people’s fanfic? If so, what do you find yourself reading the most?

I love to read fanfic; sometimes I read fanfic for series where I'm not familiar with the source material. I like filler canon material. I tend to shy away from a/u unless its stuff done with sensitivity for the characters like syneiam's IchiRuki romances. I love a good romance, but a good adventure is even better. incandescens writes the most amazing Bleach stories.

Name one thing you’d LOVE to write, but have been too afraid or shy to do.

I'm not shy about anything. I've even taken on my biggest squicks. Failed--but at least I faced them head on. I wish I could write porn better. The detailed stuff that is goal-specific without sacrificing story or character. sublimeparadigm and nehelania write this sort of thing; there are yaoi writers who are very adept at the porn. I envy their mad skilz.

Do you have trouble taking criticism? Or worse yet, do you have the dreaded bloated ego?

I cut my teeth in some of the cruelest graduate school workshops ever and hell, fandom's been WORSE. "You suck." "You think you're hot shit." "You aren't a very good writer." "People lie to you when they tell you you're good." You would not believe the ton of negativity I've gotten. I live for honest feedback and I've gotten some wonderful cc--from good writers like hardlyfatal and from a recent beta. I don't pay much attention to the random mail and comments on ff.net much anymore.

Bloated ego? I know of no artist whose ego stays inflated very long--it fills and deflates like a frog's throat and sings its croaky little song.

When you write, is there anything that helps? Music? Quiet room?

I have to stay off INSTANT MESSAGING.

What inspires you?

I'd like to say the characters themselves. I love, love, LOVE the source material. But sometimes a fanfic or especially a fanart can inspire me. Sometimes just a random image, a passage of music, the smell of cornbread, feeling hungry or horny or something like that. You know, the usual things that inspire people.

Lastly, how would you sum up your fanfiction experiences and yourself as a writer?

I used to be a "real" writer and ran away screaming. Fanfic has helped me heal my relationship with my imagination. I'm a better person for writing it.

Tag some friends because they’ll hate you for it.

Whoever. Go for it. And don't hate me.

oh, and Asher held the door open for another old lady today and she tried to give him a dollar and he refused it. I was so proud. "You are raising a good boy there," she said. I was so happy. I have a gentlemanly little son who is nice to little old ladies.

_debbiechan_ @ 2008-02-29T08:27:00

2008-02-29T14:32:32Z

Things will be better today. Cool sunny weather. Have chocolate, will travel. I know I'm hormonal bc I really hate Nnoitra and I almost cried for him when I saw the JoJo scan today.

I haven't done this yet but I'm helping spread the word for a fellow nerd:
Take The Fanfiction Survey! There are lots of fandom graduate theses around--this one looks KEWL and lets you show your love for your fanfic authors!

_debbiechan_ @ 2008-02-24T12:40:00

2008-02-24T18:41:18Z

tagged by grass_angel
I really should be writing my GinRan but wth....

The Fanfic-Writer's Meme

1. Which is your favorite fic?

After You Died and Even Before That
because I scored on all fronts, language, conflict, characterization and I love my Ryuuken here.

2. Which is your best-received fic?

I'm going to just go with Bleach fics for this meme because some of the DBZ fics were ridiculously popular and I don't want to think about them right now. I just checked mediaminer and it's scary how many hits some of those BV sex fics get.
Ichigo's Funeral is probably my best received Bleach fic according to reviews, although Invisible Writing has more hits everywhere because its longer. Of the two, I prefer, Ichigo's Funeral because I do death better than romance.

3. Which is your worst-received fic?

Five Paths, Two Endings deserved a poor reception because it wasn't very good but
Onlooker really flopped everywhere, on LJ, ff.net and mediaminer despite being a nice little bit of good writing. I guess it was kinda boring.

4. Which is your angsty-est fic?

There's a lot of competition for that one. Necrophilia probably wins though. I think I really hurt some people with that one. I'm still looking over my shoulder. I might get assassinated for posting that fic.

5. Which is your funniest fic?

Dinner Party
because you can't go wrong with Isshin.

6. Smuttiest?

Hmmmm.... Love Without Motive?
because you can't go wrong with Aizen yaoi harem fest.

7. Fluffiest?

You Are Not A Band-Aid, Ishida-Kun
Made myself choke on a cookie.

8. Have you ever made someone cry with a fic?

Dude, people tell me that all the time. Makes me feel bad.

9. Which fic frustrates you the most?

Definitely Diaspora I hate this fic. I need to rewrite it but I hate to look at it. Parts work, parts don't. A mess.

10. Which fic was the most fun to write?

They're all fun to write or else I wouldn't be doing them. Some of them hurt to write but they have to come out, like gallstones. But fun gallstones, if that makes sense.

11. Who is your favorite OC you've ever created?

Tsyuu, Ishida and Orihime's daughter. If she didn't have Quincy powers, my own daughter could beat her up, though.

12. Are you better at oneshot or mulitpart?

One-shots. I'm a sprinter. I don't have a lot of stamina for the long run and I'm new to plot. Plot and I have only been dating for about four years.

13. What character do you think you're the best at portraying?

Ishida Uryuu because he's my favorite character, I've worked the hardest at him, written the most about him and thought about him the most.

14. What character is the most difficult to portray?

Inoue Orihime. The balance between bubbly and insightful-serious is hard to manage.

I'm going to do it

2008-02-17T20:28:24Z

Yes. Yes. I am going to sell my flute. I got an increasingly positive feeling about yesterday as I polished it. My flute deserves to be in a symphony, in an ensemble, it deserves to come alive when someone breathes into it. My whole family covered their ears when I played ("TOO LOUD!" Only Sophie told me "loud but pretty!") and the cats fled for the hills. My embouchure is crap now with the missing tooth, and I think I need a tooth more than a fancy flute.

I've been watching auctions on ebay. One piece of crap flute nowhere near as nice as mine went for $2900 last night, and this one here
which isn't as nice either has a starting bid of $6500. Mine is younger, more "loaded" with options, hand-crafted in the heyday of the Haynes company, needs a little servicing, a trill cork, a couple new pads, but it plays like heaven in all registers.

I was surprised at all the feelings that came up with the flute as I took it to my dad's for a digital photo session. The demands, the expectations of people, the anger I had over all of it. I was just a little girl. I named the damn thing Freddy. Selling the flute isn't getting rid of those memories. It is, however, acknowledging, once and for all, that I did not choose that path. I liked playing in a professional symphony but that wasn't my thing--it just wasn't.

Being broke makes you look at stuff. When I wasn't broke, I didn't think about the value of my flute much or my relationship to it. I dragged it out every few months, played with some guitar boys at a bar mitzvah here and there. Heard "hey nice flute" from people who knew.

Now, watch me not be able to sell it. People buy all kinds of crap on ebay--they BETTER WANT TO BUY MY FREDDIE!

_debbiechan_ @ 2008-02-08T12:26:00

2008-02-08T18:30:02Z

My cats are so yin-yang. Winky the light one was terrified of Sophie's helium birthday balloons yesterday and hid under the bed. Momo the dark EVIL MOUSER tried to eat the balloons. This morning she managed to chew off some string from one of them and threw up the string pieces.

Thank you to everyone for recent condolences over the death of my Hebrew student Josh. I'm going to try to draw today while the kids have a playdate.

_debbiechan_ @ 2008-02-01T13:19:00

2008-02-01T19:26:08Z

Bwah, I'm so stupid. I forgot to pay the water bill so the water got disconnected today. Actually I do think I sent in a check (I'm one of those people who hand-writes checks--I pay very few things online--don't ask me why--habit? Stupidity?) and the water company never got it or hasn't gotten it yet and when they'll do they'll give me a credit but in the meantime I had to pay a huge reconnect fee, and there won't be water until 7 p.m.

Of course, the kids have the right attitude--"yey! no baths!"--but I hadn't showered yet and I am still fevery and sneezing and gross and I just wanted to get up and start the day and it's already afternoon.

Okay, this calls for serious measures. I think I have to kill someone in a fic now. Just giving my readers fair warning in case I go that way. I'm too tired to vacuum but I think I'll murder someone despicable.... Mayuri maybe.

Attention literary nerds

2008-02-01T13:35:42Z

New journal announcement and call for papers: Transformative Works and Cultures

Transformative Works and Cultures (TWC) is a Gold Open Access international peer-reviewed journal published by the Organization for Transformative Works edited by Kristina Busse and Karen Hellekson.

TWC publishes articles about popular media, fan communities, and transformative works, broadly conceived. We invite papers on all related topics, including but not limited to fan fiction, fan vids, mashups, machinima, film, TV, anime, comic books, video games, and any and all aspects of the communities of practice that surround them. TWC's aim is twofold: to provide a publishing outlet that welcomes fan-related topics, and to promote dialogue between the academic community and the fan community.

We encourage innovative works that situate these topics within contemporary culture via a variety of critical approaches, including but not limited to feminism, queer theory, critical race studies, political economy, ethnography, reception theory, literary criticism, film studies, and media studies. We also encourage authors to consider writing personal essays integrated with scholarship, hypertext articles, or other forms that embrace the technical possibilities of the Web and test the limits of the genre of academic writing. TWC copyrights under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Theory accepts blind peer-reviewed essays that are often interdisciplinary, with a conceptual focus and a theoretical frame that offers expansive interventions in the field of fan studies (5,000–8,000 words).

Praxis analyzes the particular, in contrast to Theory's broader vantage. Essays are blind peer reviewed and may apply a specific theory to a formation or artifact; explicate fan practice; perform a detailed reading of a specific text; or otherwise relate transformative phenomena to social, literary, technological, and/or historical frameworks (4,000–7,000 words).

Symposium is a section of editorially reviewed concise, thematically contained short essays that provide insight into current developments and debates surrounding any topic related to fandom or transformative media and cultures (1,500–2,500 words).

Reviews offer critical summaries of items of interest in the fields of fan and media studies, including books, new journals, and Web sites. Reviews incorporate a description of the item's content, an assessment of its likely audience, and an evaluation of its importance in a larger context (1,500–2,500 words). Review submissions undergo editorial review; submit inquiries first to review AT transformativeworks DOT org.

TWC has rolling submissions. Contributors should submit online through the Web site (http://journal.transformativeworks.org/). Inquiries may be sent to the editors (editor AT transformativeworks DOT org).

The call for papers is available as a .pdf download sized for US Letteror European A4. Please feel free to link, download, print, distribute, or post.

_debbiechan_ @ 2008-01-25T22:57:00

2008-01-26T05:05:10Z

Got a BIG ole migraine and then it went away with my new miracle herbs! In recovery mode now.

I used to like to draw and I used to like to look at arts. I had friends who went to art school and knew a teacher or two and I knew what they did was something more neurosis-inducing that what I did.

I was always glad I was doing my own thing which was making stuff like pretty birthday cards and my own wedding invitations and doodling for children in pediatrician waiting rooms and painting a life size oil portrait of my dog. I felt happy in my place--not a good artist, just a arty person.

I don't know when I decided I wanted to be good. I think I'm going to try to BE BAD from now on. There's art in BAD. IN FANART BAD. YES, I SHALL BE BAD.

Anyway, two interesting articles from metafandom

Why Fanfic?

Wankity, wank, we're old and you're not

I'm joining

2008-01-12T15:57:33Z

The Organization for Transformative Works

The name will always crack me up. Transformative Works. Then again, it's been years since "politically correct" was en vogue and the phrase still tickles me. I'm easy to tickle though; language is my lover.

Oh well, I'm joining OTW. I read the pros and cons in many essays on meta_fandom
and it was this essay on insane journal that got me all nostalgic-teary-eyed about my X-files days.

I know that works hosted on OTW aren't 100% safe from being taken down but I trust in crazyfans. The organization isn't run like LJ, for a profit, but out of freakishfanlove--a force I've always known to be stronger than fiscal common sense. Even though I have a love/hate relationship with academia (and academics--witness my relationship with my dear husband, hahahaha), I'm looking forward to the academic journal.

I dunno. I take my fanfic writing seriously and my fandom life is important to me, so I'm joining.

_debbiechan_ @ 2008-01-02T16:30:00

2008-01-02T22:30:41Z

Jan 2 is Happy Introvert Day

Bye bye strange year in which I hallucinated roaches

2007-12-30T17:57:51Z

Seems I did all my years' tally and self-evaluation a few months ago for the Jewish New Year, I think, but since I don't want to miss another opportunity for self-castigation and indulgence, what the hey.

Here's that meme thing people do on LJ where you pick the first lines of every first months entry for the year.

2007 You Went By So Fast!

January

I didn't even drink on New Year's and I feel incredibly hung-over.

February

What would make the sky look foggy at ten o clock at night in areas with no street lights?

March

Interesting that what I was reading this year (Mean Girls, Odd Girl Out) happened before I got shishkabbobed by the phenomenon myself in fandom and that I didn't recognize it.

April

I can type very well with one hand--bc of all the times my clutzy self has burned fingers cooking and ...and I used to type while nursing my babies in the sling.

May

Orange juice and little pills. A little self-criticism. Explaining to Sophie why roaches fly into your hair. Read my email and check the manga forums and Arts & Letters Daily. How I always start my day. Then the sinking step by step into laundry, laundry, tons of laundry.

June

Ugh. Migraine. I'd been going for a spell there without one--maybe more than a month.

July

My son needs a professional mentor.

August

Why did I want to get off wellbutrin again? Hallucinations? Tremors? Forgetting stuff and not being able to put on my clothes?

September

I'm so suggestible!

October

laurabryannan continues to be my feminist hero!

November

Why am I even awake?

December

I have a to-do list that is SCARY LONG.

Okay, that all sounded depressing. Short answers to a couple of the common meme questions:

1.What did you do in 2007 that you didn't do before in your life?

Considered divorce, worked at a deli, spilled cow blood on myself, lost my temper and yelled at some idiot on the internet, had psychotropic drug induced hallucinations of roaches, lost a good bit of memory but recovered it again when I got off wellbutrin, USED PENTOOL AT LAST, wrote a yaoi romance called "Necrophilia."

2. Did anyone close to you die?

No. My grandmother died the same month as a couple of my LJ friends lost grandparents and I was stunned by how appropriately upset these friends were.

3. Did you fall in love in 2007?

Oh yes. I feel in newly in love all the time. Must be my freaky nervous system. I fell in love with family members, cats, life in general, choral music, the RenIshi pairing, the IshiHime pairing again, a few new internet friends (just yesterday, though, I fell in love with quaedam again because she said something awfully sweet to me), and I developed a FANCY for gummy bears that approaches that heightened state of longing and appreciation one can only call love.

4. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Keeping my feet warm. Not going out in public with buttons unbuttoned on my top.

5. What political issue stirred you the most?

As usual, post-Katrina hurricane stuffs. Local angst.

6. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Crying.

7. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Hebrew with Asher.

fa la la la la

2007-12-24T03:02:33Z

Did it, posted it, thank you Nikita for the calming of the neurotic author and for your own sweet fic. It didn't need any sex after all. O.O. Which puts me at a distinct disadvantage in the voting? But ARGH, it's done. (I'll keep the tossed-out sex scene for something else, ok?)

Past Grief

Gah! I worked hard for a shot at a doujin!

Went to Hammond to see Xmas lights and the kids passed out in the car. They were more impressed with the ducks in the park than the famous lights. My beautiful hippy children and neices. I have a terrible craving for olive oil right out of the bottle. All over bread. The bread is an excuse for the olive oil, though. It's cold tonight! I'm happy! Merry Christmas!

Just shoot me.

2007-12-02T10:52:42Z

LOLOLOLOL.

The American Essay is a Transparent Cow

What's wrong with the American Essay. I'm anthologized in one of the volumes of "The Best American Essays" series decried here. Can't remember what year--early 90s--an essay on abortion clinics. I wonder what the reviewers would think about my shipping essays.

_debbiechan_ @ 2007-11-30T12:50:00

2007-11-30T18:51:55Z

Migraine hangover.

Totally forgot what I was going to type here.

I am dumb

2007-11-26T20:19:07Z

I cut my leg shaving and didn't notice then I went around dusting and sweeping and leaving a trail of bloooood all through the house. Now I have to back and clean up again.

My Fandom Secrets

2007-11-20T22:04:04Z

I don't think I have any.
I think this is sort of a problem. I have no shame.

Everybody knows I
1) like shipping discussions
2) think Szayel is sexy
3) have no love for Hinamori
4) love Ileenka
5) have written eroticized rape fic
6) have gotten more sensitive rather than less sensitive to criticism over the years
7) am engaged to Agmaster
8) loved the ending of Death Note
9) ignore my old DBZ fandom board except for the Bleach section
10) have watched every last bit of the Naruto fillers.
11) can't draw nipples
12) read even things that squick me because I can't help myself and if there's a Ryuuken involved I have no self-control, I MUST read, even Quincest

Still wired

2007-11-19T20:15:10Z

So far so good! I'll post the gorgeous arts people have given me on bleachness later *flails around* I love my talented fandom buds! NUDGE, NUDGE, winners of the fanfic contest--go to the announcement post and make an acceptance comment--you know, thank your parents, thank the academy.

Syn gave me the most wonderful gift! She translated my favorite Jean Jacques Goldman song from the French! I'm less nervous today about the dreaded MC appointment. Instead of baking, I walked to the grocery in sunny cool weather and bought myself a white cake with yellow daisies. I was just sitting here at the comp, writing some RenIshi porn and listening to the Roches when one of their songs reminded me of that hate meme. Haha, this is a crappy vid but I love the song:

I hate her guts, I hate her guts....

And here, this one too from JJ Goldman who makes me fangurl swoon. No one does sentimental like him:

Je Voudrais Vous Revoir...

Do you remember? We were wild about ourselves....
Age is a long last journey , a station platform and we leave...
Of those life's pearls there are some wounds that taste
like victory..... (thank you so much Syn)

_debbiechan_ @ 2007-11-18T10:40:00

2007-11-18T16:46:15Z

It's already my birthday in Singapore. It's cool having friends on the other side of the planet. It feels weird and somehow painfully appropriate for me to celebrate my birthday this year. I usually ignore it (or even forget it!) but I'm doing that Scorpio thing of being reborn, I just feel it.

There are so many things I want to write that the passageway from my brain to my typing fingers is clogged.

Voice Post

2007-11-15T22:37:21Z

from Shini!
To do the meme, make a voice post and answer the following questions:

1) What's your name?
2) How old are you?
3) Where are you from? Are you living there right now?
4) Is it cold where you are?
5) What's the time?
6) What are you wearing?
7) What was the last thing you listened to?
8) What was the last thing you ate?
9) What was the last thing you watched on tv?
10) What's your favorite tv show? Why?
11) Quick! Find a book, or something with text on it! Flip to a random page and read some of it! GO!
12) What was the last movie you saw? How was it?
13) Do YOU think you have an accent? Talk about that.

_debbiechan_ @ 2007-11-13T11:43:00

2007-11-13T17:44:48Z

I'm a huuuuuge Fakir fan but even if I weren't, this would be my all-time fave of Orin's works. It's just... oh my. DUCK!

Princess Tutu--this Journey by Orin

_debbiechan_ @ 2007-11-06T10:03:00

2007-11-06T16:09:45Z

I love this vid i saw this morning. The little girl in it reminds me of Sophie.

You know, I was alive when Helen Reddy came out with that "I am Woman" song and I didn't understand. I do now. *has a massive attack of estrogen mania*

Mann Ke Manjeere

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2007... Boo!

2007-10-31T18:55:50Z

My unpopular opinion: Keep Halloween out of public schools. As much as Christian Fundamentalists are the last people in the world I'd party with, I'm with the ACLU on this one. And really, I've heard some mean things about Jehovah's Witnesses today. No, they don't celebrate birthdays... a lot of Jews don't either. .. some cultures aren't into it... *shrugs*. Is that so hard to accept?

Then again, I'm all for keeping public schools out of the public schools and restructuring society altogether. Never mind me.

DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE WHITE PUMPKINS? Saw them advertised as "ghost pumpkins" at the grocery and had to buy some. Carved them and am saving the seeds to plant. They're so... PURDY.

Our house will definitely be the scariest on the street tonight. Two white pumpkins and A LAWN THAT HASN'T BEEN MOWED IN THREE MONTHS.

I have so much stuff to do. I will have Pr0ntober drabbles done but late. I WILL return Lindsay's manuscript (maybe today). I WILL PAY THE MORTGAGE. I will aimlessly search for more RenIshi panels for another useless picspam at bleachness?

Oh, our cat Momo is going as Yoruichi this year. It's an easy costume. She's all black. Winky is going as a lavendar lynx point Siamese.

Some poems for you

2007-10-24T02:06:34Z

I was a funny little girl. I read poetry in books when the other kids were reading lyrics on the album liners. Then I grew up and followed poets around on university campuses the way some kids followed Phish. Plath and Sexton killed themselves before I was born but I heard Adrienne Rich read once. In a huge auditorium full of lesbians.

It's funny, funny, as funny odd and funny humorous that I was a wee lass when I fell in love with these poems and eons later, I think I understand them at last. These are poems about being women, I'm sure, and one of them is by a man.

In the Evening by Adrienne Rich

Her Kind by Anne Sexton

The Applicant by Sylvia Plath

It works, there is nothing wrong with it.
You have a hole, it's a poultice.
You have an eye, it's an image.
My boy, it's your last resort.
Will you marry it, marry it, marry it.

Not Waving But Drowning by Stevie Smith

And one last one. Even though it's a man. I met him once during a tour of his and he bought me a coffee. He was amused by his fangirl who could quote his poems. I think "Self Portrait in a Convex Mirror" was the one I embarrassed myself reciting. We talked about boys we loved.

For John Clare by John Ashbury

This site is cool because you can hear the poets read--the selection is small, academic canon excluding lots of my favorite poets, most of the ones here read in those hard, scary New England accents. The wilder-haired girls I came to love aren't on the internet. I looked. There are cassettes somewhere. Nothing on the internet.

EDIT: I love ff.net because you get the craziest most unguarded sincere feedback on that site. I just got one review and all it said was: WTF. XD

Who made this icon?

2007-10-23T16:35:27Z

I've been told twice and I thought I'd credited but I went back to stroll through my icons and I couldn't find the maker.

Well, I mean, I know RUKIA drew the pic of Aaro but who made the icon? XD XD XD

It's one of my favorite icons ever.

_debbiechan_ @ 2007-10-16T11:21:00

2007-10-16T16:26:06Z

Mood is NOT improving.

Well, well, just yesterday I told Max to please not use the debit card because we only had eleven dollars in checking. Well, ta-dah! HE FORGOT! (or he's being a total passive aggressive shit--that's also possible) and now we're overdrawn. He charged something this morning. He has cash in his wallet--he could wait until I transfer money from savings--he could ask.

That settles it. I'm running away with Ishida Uryuu. He's my true boyfriend. Not even Kubo Tite could be my true love because he's got that ungainly attribute of being a human being. I prefer my men fictional, trustworthy, with morals as impeccable as a Quincy white cape.