| The Snake and the Crocodile |
[18 Jan 2006|11:55pm] |
this is a true story.
somewhere in the jungles of africa, there was a pretty huge snake. one day, it came across a crocodile. at this point, one of two things happened. 1) the crocodile was already dead. 2) the snake, being a snake, killed the crocodile. The snake than proceeded to down the crocodile. But there was a hitch- the crocodile was way larger than the snake (although admittedly it was big for a snake). and so the snake died of overeating. the crocodile sortof exploded out of the snake skin.
the outline of the crocodile's head could clearly be seen through the snake's skin. the snake had roughly taken on the shape of the crocodile. about half (uneaten half) of the crocodile stuck out of the snake's mouth. not a pretty death.
moral of the story? never bite off more then u can chew.
*edit
following bio (oh the wonders of bio!) lessons, i learnt that snakes do not chew (no teeth, just a pair of nasty fangs, life's fair). so i guess the moral should be edited to 'never tackle more than you can'
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| Shit (with a capital 'S' no less) |
[17 Sep 2005|11:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 enthralled |
] |
"Shit and Exams are inextricably linked." Do you agree? Explain Your Answer.
Stating stand Yes I agree with the statement to a large extent.
Key statement Exams make your bowels run literally
Elaboration this is based on my personal experience. ever since exams started, i have been shitting so much even tho my intake of food is the same, leading me to wonder where all the shit comes from. since everything else is a constant variable and the only variable has changed is the number of exams that i take a per day, i logically conclude that my extra shit has come from the extra exam. as more exams lead to more shit, i similarly conclude that exams is shit. i further substantiate my statement by stating that my experience is similar to others i have conferred with - such as sihui and claire.
LinkAs exams lead to more shit and exams are arguably shit, this just goes to show that shit and exams are inextricably linked. in fact i would even go so far to recommend a round of exams to anyone suffering bouts of constipation. this is The Cure for constipation, no need to chomp chomp on all that fibre, jus a round of exams. it's fast and fuss-free!
Key statement Exams make you shit figuratively
Elaboration This is based on my observations and personal experience. the start of an exam is marked by the rustling of papers followed by the steady intense scratching of pens. the tension remains steady for the next hour or so, peaking towards the last 15 minutes and reaching a plateau. The already intense atmosphere further intensifies with people suffering from a symptom i feel is best described by the term "verbal diarrohea". people of course could be pouring forth pearls of wisdom which is possible but unlikely given the constraints of time. (no actly i tink everyone is exuding wisdom except me. i radiate Crap Particles - so u haf Alpha, Beta and Crap particles + Gamma rays)
Link Exams lead to verbal diarrohea. 'nuff said
Key statement Exams make you say shit
Elaboration Also derived from acute observational powers. After two hours or so of silence, all hell breaks loose. Cries of "shit" and "crap" come from all directions. i regret to say that i contribute too.
Link if exams make people say shit, surely there must be a link to shit sumwhere rite?
Key statement Exams make you learn about shit
Elaboration This applies to bio students. Thanks to exams, i have to study bio hence making me learn about shit. do you noe that shit is actly not a form of excretion? i dunno about u but i din so yea, im stupid. excretion is when u take a piss, sweat, breathe. so im excreting all the time eeeeeyyeeeer! shitting is defecation.
Link Exams teaches you stuff about shit. Hence they are linked
Conclusion Shit and Exams are so inextricably linked that im writing a one-sided essay on it hence at most scoring a L3 (though probably a L2 cuz my links r extremely badly done). I can't think of how exams aren't shit. In addition to all the above reasons, i've shitted (25-7)exams so far and im gonna be buried in a pile of shit 2 weeks later. (AHH!!! SAVE ME IM SCARED!!!) To conclude, exams to me is shit cuz im such a loser with no strength hence no salvation from this whole load of shit threatening to engulf me if it hasnt already. haiiiiiiii
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| hope prevailed |
[25 Jul 2003|11:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cheerful |
] |
congrats 2 band 4 getting gold!
oso congrats 2 jan n cy, ur efforts paid of
n ur worries were 4 nothing (at least janice's)
now, let's hope dat eds will get gold
may the gold b wif dem
= hOpe! =
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| yiPpee! |
[15 Jul 2003|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
ecstatic |
] |
se got gold! wahahahaz...
e thiam hock has no excuse 2 close us now!
so dere thiam hock! go eat ur shit!
n i must b grateful... tanq janice n sihui 4 e chocs
(c! im grateful! grateful i am!)
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| speech dae |
[13 Jul 2003|10:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
an aptly named speech dae.
it waz indeed filled wif speeches.
thiam hock carried on a monologue of about 30 min
i din noe about e 2 other speeches,
i slept through it.
if u wan 2 noe more about it ask grace.
n yah, ng jie ying iz pro indeed.
did she win school colours?
i tink she did, cant rmb though
n she must feel rich...
e prize iz a $20 kinokuniya voucher
multiply dat by 7 n u get $140!
dat iz... if e sch givs multiple prizes 2 a person
haiZ. dunno lah...
our seniors r realli outstanding.
lyk dere's dis last yr sec4 gep hu waz e model dunmanian
lots 2 liv up 2.
hjc tok waz... enlightening.
blatent gender discrimination i sae.
wad's so damn great about being a guy?
or more specifically...
wad's exactly so great about tchs guys?
hrumph.
not exactly mad about dat program.
it's juz e discrimination dat pisses mi.
n no jc lyks dhs. i feel down.
dOtdOtdOt.
BEAR WIF LIFE.
(n remain feeling constipated)
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| backache... |
[10 Jul 2003|09:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
well. dae went on normally. meaning bad
(i saved mi vln baby frm destruction!)
guyZ pro. whole nite didnt slp.
forgo sleep juz 2 do hist. quite pei fu.
but dat waz until dey said dey were oso playing com games
den i waz lyk... &$%^&%^&*%^& it's ur own fault den
did sec4s prezzie n notes 2dae
well, did quite well =)
so proud of ourselves
but i waz slacking, i waz delegating e work
actually i werent slacking, i waz juz doing e non-artistic aspects
lalala... but still tink it looks good on e whole
aniwae, had vln lesson veri late...
so end veri late, but it e lesson itself wasnt long!
i waz so sad, i prac mi humouresque lyk shit,
n i waz lyk going 2 play it when we saw
dat e cds ppl were being scolded by peter n om (operation manager)
so... it waz sorta cut short
so damn sad lorh!
i prac so hard so dat mi humouresque sounded anguished!!!
n mi efforts all went down e toilet bowl?
aniwae, when ms ku n i went down,
we got scolded. actually wasnt realli dat irritated.
found her quite amusing. ms khoo lyk dress sense.
but dat waz until i missed e 158 cuz of her!
n i cldnt run 4 it cuz e gate waz locked!!!
n ah keong waz putting such a ap-mi-so-poor-thing-having-to-open-the-gate face!
ARGHZ
n im having backache frm carrying 2 many things
oso frm mi trying 2 improve mi posture
which sux n iz not gd 4 playing e vln
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| - take this with a pinch of SALT - |
[08 Jul 2003|09:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hungry |
] |
= sOmeThiNg rIdicuLous =
(done on a day with much homework)
We are all going to be dead meat!
Yay! Let's rejoice! Yay!
You must admit that we are great,
To leave our homework to this very last day!
So what can be done now?
Nothing much, it is hopeless!
Beg the nora? Kiss the sow?
Oh no, don't be ridiculous?
Therefore I come to my conclusion,
Which I shall now present with much grace
(I'm not having illusions)
I'm not doing it, I can't stand your face!
==================~**~=====================
mooNeY copyRigHt!
(let's juz b extra)
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| scrambled, muddled, n put on a plate |
[06 Jul 2003|11:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
e above title describes mi brain
2 conclude, in lieu of current circumstances
i suppose one deserves 2 feel muddled
put in a more diplomatic way:
dis is a very difficult situation.
i request 4 a window period of time
2 draft out a suitable proposal
pertaining 2 dis tricky issue
which will, hopefully, satisfy e ppl involved
e troubles due to being born in 1989 is many
shall not attempt 2 list dem 4 if one does,
one will nv get 2 e end of e document
therefore,
CHEERIO
(though in lieu of current cirumstances,
it sounds ironical)
==========
a qUizzY
==========
You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
hope? hope?
nothing lyk a gd joke.
dat is not a gd joke.
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| jUz a lIttlE waRniNg |
[03 Jul 2003|10:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
juz a little warning,
2 my little sweet darlings,
beware of everything in dis place
regardless of religion, language or race
cuz u noe a little something?
anything can get dangerous in a twinkling?
n even b4 u can sae "how do you do",
something veri bad can happen to you!
= juZ a liTtlE crApPeZ =
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|
[03 Jul 2003|09:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 worried |
] |
sci test tmr!!!
arGhZ! on youth's dae sumore!
wad e heck r dey trying 2 do?!
i tell u, if dis event waz written in a book,
e lit critics 4 sure saes it signifies e doomed direction e youths r headed in...
reached home at 7...
*yawn* left e reader's response 4 e chi bk report
y does 1 need 2 respond 2 everything...
ppl hav a right 2 hold their peace kaEz!
n yeah, 2 more hist assignments...
but true, lai iz doing it 4 our own gd,
it's not her fault dat our essay based sux
but still, ppl feel stressed
and arGhZ... mep practical iz in sep
yuck?! dat iz lyk so soon...
n i hav practically nothing 2 play
wad e heck?!
wad if i hav 2 resort 2 playing "hot cross bun" or "keuh pisang"
(whichever it iz called)
to summarise everything:
-_____________________________________________-'
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| im cHokiNg?! |
[01 Jul 2003|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 working |
] |
nice way of dying...
mi poor lungs.
but at least i liv longer den e jan
bLeaHz darling
==========================================
juz summarise 2dae's happenings:
(gotta work hard! time is of the essence!)
1) bok broke down!
apparently, she feels e utter sadness n suddenly felt reflective
the cogs in her brain needs oiling...
she takes 6 months 2 reflect!!!!
n e trs make us do reflections 4 practically everything!
2) kittens!
didnt realli c much of e kittens cuz it waz in 2K
aniwae, when i saw it in e morning...
it waz pooing in e box n claire, wl n ally n co had 2 bring it 2 e toilet
veri cute! veri small! saved frm destruction by wl!
3) chi tr!
wah! i feel damn restless in her lesson!
she... iz utterly boring!
has to be seen to be belived!
4) sisi sick!
poor gurl... but nvm, get well soon
actually i tink u r almost well by now
at least u missed seeing e chi tr
always look on e brite side of life darling
kkaez. big stuff over.
bbyez!
"Would it upset men if they found out we weren't different? Are we? Aren't we? Damned if I know."
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| yEs! Yes! yeS! |
[26 Jun 2003|10:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
yes! i finished mi geog!
but mi lvl of tech, purpose of production, n markets all veri short
but hu carez
bok can throw herself in2 a coffin 4 all i care
mep now! arghZ! i feel constipated!
mi throat hurts too...
but no choice, dis hols is so darn short
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| beEthoVen! wOof! |
[24 Jun 2003|03:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
busy |
] |
do u noe dat dere iz a movie called "beethoven"?
n beethoven, in this case, is a dog
beethoven actually has quite alot of character
i mean e composer, not e dog
lemme juz quote smt 2 prove mi point
when a violinist complained that a passage was unplayable Beethoven replied
When I composed that, I was conscious of being inspired by God Almighty.
Do you think I can consider your puny little fiddle when He speaks to me ?
so kewt rite?
ok. enuff tokking about beethoven.
must continue doing mep proj on him
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| A Little Princess |
[08 Jun 2003|01:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
juz finished watching princess diaries (borrow frm fat jan)
heex. veri nice 2 watch, though i watched it b4.
but note, e time is 1.43 am
n mi mum wans mi 2 wake up by 9 am
mia (anne hathaway), in e show iz so damn cool!!!!
n her hair iz veri nice, mostly straight but wif a subtle curl
den her bf, e michael guy iz veri suai in e dreamy kinda way...
den mia's granny (julie andrews) oso veri cute, quite chio 4 her age
veri sweet show.
will watch legally blonde tmr. haven watched it b4 though.
den mebbe if i hav time i go watch 1 of mi father's vcds...
mebbe gladiator? pearl harbour? e perfect storn?
worst comes 2 worst, i watch mary poppins...
or mebbe rewatch hero! their scenery veri pretty...
drowning ur sorrows in movies iz gd.
beats drowning ur sorrows by dousing in alcohol
n damnit, i hav a whole load of sorrows
mi ca results damn low, must try not 2 slack so hard
hAiz. everyone in mi house iz sleeping.
dun wonder y, but mi fat bro waz still awake at 1,
wad a mean boy. leave mi all alone now.
im afraid of e dark kAez!
gonna kill him tmr when it's BRIGHT
kKaeZ. bByeZ.
ignore dis entry, im juZ ranTinG
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| all brawns n no brains |
[05 Jun 2003|10:33pm] |
haiZ. all e brawny ppl r out 2 make other ppl feel sad.
n im damn un-endowed in e brawn area.
all i got 4 mi efforts waz a strained arm
n wonders of wonders, i had 2 play e vln 2dae
it's so sad lorh. it's lyk when i stretch out mi hand, i will b lyk, "OUCH"
n e point iz, i need 2 play big bows
so it waz somewhat manageable (endurance babies),
until ms ku suddenly went: FASTER BOW! FASTER BOW! FASTER BOW!
so frm a beareable ouch-----ouch-----ouch-----,
it became an ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch
n when i start slowing mi bows, she will go: FASTER BOW! FASTER! FASTER!
i feel lyk a racehorse, though a tired one
drag meself 2 do stupid chinese
nIteZ. StArS n MoonZ niGhtZ.
BabY niGhtZ. NighTy NigHtZ woRld.
=======================================
quIzzY! quIzzY! qUiZzY!!!
=======================================
You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.
What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
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| subject urself in e ap way |
[05 Jun 2003|10:24pm] |
*yawn* woke up about 45min ago frm a lovely nap
still feel veri sleepy, i luv mi bed
dun wan do hw, hate sch....
1 MORE DAE TILL SCHOOL CLOSES!!!
will update more when mi eyes r finally opened
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| wE neEd b.k q.u.a.l.i.t.y c.o.n.t.r.o.l |
[28 May 2003|10:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
ah... e mystery of bks. truly a mystery!
burger king rawks! boon kiat suck!
e difference in quality in so damn great maNz
indeed, we need quality control 4 bk
aniwae, yesterdae, meaning mondae
bk gave us a "me, myself, and my ideals" tok
n wad a long tok it waz...
if dere iz a survivor show 4 stamina in tokking,
he will win it. no competition.
n he did it without a single drop of water.
enuff about mon, let's go back 2 e present.
went esplanade wif jan sisi n cy
and i uncovered a deep dark ploy at burger king
(not exactly veri deep n dark, but still a ploy)
i discovered smt which has b hidden frm mi 4 lyk 1yr
#$%$%)$%^&*($%^ PISSING!
mep results tmr! n mi dis yr results suck totally...
which iz better: death by noose, electric chair or chemicals?
indeed. smt 2 ponder over in dis dark dark night.
pondering time.
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| Naughty Napfa |
[26 May 2003|07:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cynical |
] |
im not trying 2 follow e guyz...
it's juz dat not many words start wif "n"
n i cant b bothered 2 tink,
so "naughty napfa" it is
napfa waz so damn terrible....
we poor innocent matyrs were suffering lyk shit under e hot blazing sun
n if dat's not enuff, dere's still Sadist Siva
(if u tink u noe sadists, u haven seen Sadist Siva)
he waz in charge of shuttle run,
which iz one of mi lousiest items.
when ppl in r taking e shuttle run,
he'll make snide comments lyk,
"strolling in e park izzit?"
"i cld go n drink a coffee n come back n u'd still b running!"
"iz dis e first time u r taking napfa?"
obviously ap. he's nuts man, he shld grow brains.
den when mi grp waz doing second time run,
he said in a very simon-cowell kind of voice,
(simon cowell iz e ap judge of american idol)
"Terrible! Your times are not improving, in fact, they are deproving!"
wad a morale booster. sumone shld go put his ego in place.
haiz. scored damn low 4 maths test.
hate ca marks. mi mum iz gonna hav a blue fit.
teachers lyk damn sadists. dere seems 2 b veri lil' a1s scholars dis yr
but hu carez. low marks oso reflect badly on dem.
so e nora-cheater-bug help e gUyz fake marks!!!!
#$%&*($%^&(#$%^&
but life iz lyk dat. (justice?)
u must tolerate it so hard dat u'll get constipated.
kKaez. time 4 mi 2 shut myself up.
cYaz! bYez!
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_deadducky_'s journal
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