Fuck.shit.hell.crap.

Sometimes I feel like I am going to completely fall apart. I plan on taking a placement test to test into a higher math class on Thursday and I feel like I am NOT FUCKING READY. Fuck you RCCC. Fuck you and your asshole teachers who fail students with passing grades. Fuck you and your fucking with students higher education plans. Fuck you and you math department head who would never even hear my case. Just fuck you and your stupid teachers.

None of this would be a problem if my plan wasn't to transfer to UNCG in the fall. ARGH, STRESS LEVELS AT MAXIMUM.



FUCK.

So I got through my first set of final critiques today. I got A+'s on all of them, however I cannot be happy about this...

Today, we had to have our 15 year old Border Collie/Golden Retriever put to sleep. His name was Lucky and he was the sweetest dog I have ever known. I knew this was coming, for the last few months he has begun tripping quite a lot and his breathing had become labored. We figured he would just let go soon, but he just kept hanging on. Over the last few days, he's quite obviously not known where he was and has been completely zoning out. On top of this, his sight got to the point where he was just constantly running into things, causing him to make audible yelps. We decided last night that is was time to have him put to sleep. He just couldn't function anymore and it just hurt to watch him. I just held him last night for god knows how long, bawling my eyes out.

So after I got home from classes today, we loaded him into the back of my car and took him to the vet. I held his leg while he was being given the shot and then he was gone. I know I should be happy that he isn't suffering anymore, but it just hurts so much.

I love pinhole cameras.



That is all.

As of 5:11pm, I am officially 20 years old.

I feel... the exact same. I seriously don't understand why people put such a big emphasis on this birthday. I'd be lying if I said I'm exactly where I wanted to be at this age, but I still have a lot to be proud of and this is just the beginning.

I'm sure I'll be repeating this later, but just incase I forget; early Birthday wishes to Danielle and Hannah!

You can only hear how epic The Dark Knight is so many times before IT STARTS TO GET REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING! I get that it is good, THE SAME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME SO EVERY FIVE MINUTES!

Jesus.

My mom and sister are out of town at the moment, so its just my dad, brother, the baby and I. Considering it is usually my mom and I who actually look after the baby and take care of things around the house, you can imagine how these last few days have been.

I don't mind the cleaning so much, in fact it is one of those things I can do to distance myself from them for a while. Taking care of five dogs and a baby though, on top of the dishes and clothing and towel washing is starting to bury me. I think I'm going to stop washing them.

I already had a yelling match with my dad this morning after he left all the dogs in their cages until the oldest one lost control of his bladder. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded if he has woken me up earlier and asked me to take them out, but the fact that he didn't, and didn't take the time to walk them himself was ridiculous. On top of this, he left the older dog outside to dry off after he sprayed him down. You NEVER leave a dog outside in 95+ degree weather, much less a 14 year old dog.

It will be so wonderful to move out on my own and only have to take care of myself.

So, I've had a lovely last couple of weeks! As if the Missy Higgins concert did not already have me giddy, things just seem to be going perfect for me lately and it is such a great feeling!

Spring has most definitely sprung and I LOVE it! When I'm not outside I have my windows flung open because I just love the smell of the air right now. I usually have ridiculous allergy issues, but they all seem to have disappeared. :D!

( Further reasons for joy! )

Life is lovely!

On a random side note, I am so getting a rename ticket when I'm no longer strapped for cash. I loathe this username. It makes me sound like a totally emo and the only reason I ever chose it in the first place is because I couldn't think of anything and just grabbed a random song title.... Bleh. DX

Just got finished getting ready for the Missy Higgins concert for tonight. I was looking around the site for the venue though and just found this:

"# For permission to record (including taping, photography, and videography) please contact (mail at theorangepeel.net"

I can totally understand filming it, but photography?! This more than a little pisses me off. I'm still taking my camera of course. If she's signing cds (of which I am taking all of mine), I still want to get a picture taken with her.

EDIT: Just emailed them, hoping to god they get back to me before I leave.

It irks me to death when you get a payment invoice from your web host and they take your site down before the payment's due date. I have some bitching to do tomor- er, later today.

Professor in Art History was sick tonight, so I had to go to the academic office to sign in for showing up and pick up a few documents for finals. We were supposed to drop off our sketch books for grading, but it looks like that will be happening next week, in-class.

Feeling that it would be a totally waste of gas to just head back home, I swung by the paint studio and sat in during the painting2 class. It was nice to talk to a few of the people I had in my photography class last semester, but mostly I just doodled in my sketch book.

( Doodles! )

Once I left around nine, I hit a snag on the way home. About halfway, there seemed to have been a huge wreak. The whole road was blocked and I had to turn around, getting myself lost twice before getting home. Fun fun.

I also had a Tazo tea earlier.... I don't think tea is supposed to taste like meat...

Dead tired, and feeling icky. Look for long-ass entry tomorrow.

Well, my site update plans have been effectively fucked until I get these computer issues fixed. =_=

Also, I'm not liking these micro-bursts going on outside...

I am so utterly fed up with Windows and Dell. They both piss me off to no fucking end. I really need a new job so I can splurge on myself and get a macbook pro. Thankfully, I think my schedule next semester will allow me a more flexibility and getting a job will be less of an issue than it was this semester.

Speaking of college, I've gotten my grades back in all my classes except film. All A's so far, can you tell I'm smiling? :D I also picked up my piece from the art show I entered a few months back, today. I shall post pictures of it soon. :3

Last but not least, tomorrow is the court date for my brother, trying to get full custody over his son. Honestly, I'm not too worried. The mother is usually visibly high and has a hell of a record. I'm just hoping the psychotic bitch stops calling our house when this is over. I'm sick of getting insane messages...



ALSO!~ Christmas + some of my pocket money = Canon Rebel XT soon! My photography teacher was uber pleased to hear this. XD

Just some random late-night musings, but.... why is it I have such a hard fucking time writing end of semester papers for film class and always tend to go right up until the very end of my time to actually get them finished? Why also do these speed papers, done right at the very end, tend to net me the A's?

This is really unfreaking believable. The cops are outside my door because they are trying to take my brothers baby, because his girlfriend has gone nutso, got high last night, told people totally different stories about where she was (she told my mom she got raped, my brother she was locked up) and now is trespassing and harassing us. She and her family have been sitting in their car at the end of our driveway for the last hour. Evidently, if my brother tells them they can't take the child, they can't, but he isn't here right now.. And considering she has about 8 strikes against her, including drugs, speeding, and a plethora of things considering her children. Fuck, she has this baby about 2 months early because she was smoking pot. I don't fucking see HOW she still has her children.

I'm sorry for like, lack of good sentence structure and such, but this is unfucking believable...



When the fuck do I get my nice quiet life back?

Dear LJ,

I apologize for letting you die, yet again. College is fun but incredibly time consuming. Not to mention the giant pain that the living situation in this house is right now. I need a job, like now. If I could get to where I went to school and work it would be lovely, the less time I'm in this house, the less the chances of me killing someone is.

It is October again, which I love. I can't help to feel like time is just flying past though. I feel a bit like I don't have time for anything anymore. I've been trying to organize my room, it has been such a mess lately. I managed to make a good dent in it today though. Hopefully I will have a multitude of things to through out/give to Good-Will by Wednesday.

I think I'll go job hunting again this weekend. Put some applications in at Target, Barnes and Noble, Borders. I'll avoid Wal-Mart like the plague of course. I swear that place is a soul sucker. I'd rather be poor and remotely happy, than have money and be completely miserable.

ALSO! I plan on getting one of these! I've been wanting to get one anyway. I was talking to my photography teacher about them though, and she said they were the only way to go for my planned career.

Wow, I think this is the longest entry I've written yet. Ending it now!



Edit: OH YEAH! New layout on my LJ with one of my own photos! :D

If you wanted to sound like an elitist prick, you've done a fanfuckingtastic job. Get off your high-horse and get it into you're head that you are NOT the fucking smartest person in existence, nor is your word final.

So it is my birthday once again. 19, meh... I'm not feeling to well, but I'll live.

Much like its been for the last three weeks, when something is even remotely about someone else, our house guests are trying to make everything about themselves. So, I've been in my room most of the day tidying up and keeping to myself. I venture out only for food or life sustaining liquids. It is still better than last year when college semester started today.

I'm also $70 closer to a Wii. I actually got $85 for my birthday, but I want to give at LEAST ten to a charity drive the people at my Orthodontist are doing. One of the women who works there's husband needs a kidney transplant and I just feel like being a good person and helping out.

ANYWAY, what I'm sure you all want to see. The art I got for my birthday! :D


This is my favorite, the artists calls it The Buddha Bug. (Yes, I am aware that is not Buddha. Tis The Tibetan Buddha, thanks Danielle. xD)


I think this one looks like a ghost, the artist calls it a fire fly, that is the beauty of art though. It is all about the interpretation!




Pfft, image cut? I laugh at your image cut!

Oh yeah.....



Pay It Forward meme: I will send a gift to the first five people who leave a comment requesting to join this PIF exchange. I don't know what that gift will be yet, but you will receive it within 365 days. The only thing you have to do in return is "pay it forward" by making a similar agreement on your journal.

Stolen from cherrybomb.

My house is like a revolving door. They come in, fuck around, decide they don't want to follow the rules and then leave again. I'm talking about our "house guests" of course. Honestly I can't say I did not expect this after everything that has happened lately, but it is just so mentally and physically exhausting that I'm totally spent.


I don't know if it is the stress of all this, or that it is over a hundred degrees and the only thing I've consumed all day is a few glasses of water, but I've been violently sick for the last few hour's. I tried eating something, but it didn't stay down long.


Ugh.... this is killing me...

ABWAAA?!

How the fuck did I end up on the first page during the time I've been "revamping"?!



In other news, my brother, his girlfriend and their three kids (well, only one is his, the other two are from HER HUSBAND WHO SHE IS STILL MARRIED TO!) have moved back in. I got stuck with babysitting duties this morning.


I hate kids...


I am never having sex......



ever..............