| [ |
music |
| |
the format swans |
] |
i might as well update.
Today was supposed to be my day of obligations but obviously since I have Thursday off as well, I can just do those things then. Yay! Plus in my sleep retardation I decided it was justifiable to go to the bank Thursday on the way to German to "save gas."
Whatever. I seriously woke up today at 4 p.m. and watched Camp Rock and ate pasta. BUT THEN I PLAYED TENNIS W/ ANALEE. Towards the end we decided to "play small" tennis which is where we scoot in to the first boxes and just try to hit the ball back and forth to each other. We are both a little sore! I'm sad we won't get to play tomorrow; she gets out of work at 5 and I go in at 6 tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.
Sigh. I watched the part where Joe, er, Shane, turns around and starts singing three times. He's good at looking at people as if he really were in love with them. It's the same way Patrick Dempesy can look at Ellen Pompeo and feign love. It just makes you want someone to look at you that way. Oh movies.
The other night, I had a dream about Jeremi. I have dreams like this maybe twice a month. Not the same thing every time, but it's usually us together and happy. Sometimes we are kissing and part of me thinks "finally" then I wake up, recollect the dream, and feel sad and annoyed. I wish I didn't have those dreams. It makes it look like I'm not progressing at all. It makes me look like I'm resigning to a lifetime (or at least a few more years) of silent pining. I promise no more outbursts to Jeremi. I can't lessen my load by putting it on him. And I'm over his ass anyway. Cuz I got J.J. and other fake people to fawn over.
Nah, I do miss Jeremi. I miss tyty too. I miss ame. I miss claire. I miss everyone in my top four on myspace. How am I away from all these people at once?
Analee went to the store with me tonight. I bought healthy foods, mostly. Did buy some poptarts. Made a delicious omlette when I got home. Ok that stuff doesn't matter.
I watched Annie Hall and did German tonight. God, I wish I could make a movie like Annie Hall. Just little pieces. That movie is sort of like a... wtf are they called, those essays where you have the pieces and they are all related some how, though it might not be obvious. Can't remember. I wrote one once. Maybe I should write. Of course I should write.
I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, I guess we keep goin' through it because most of us... need the eggs.
I don't know what to do other than make lists and stay up too late and watch tv shows on DVD in Tyler's room while reading War and Peace.
Oh my god, I think Jon has a tattoo of Brett on his leg and I think Brett has a tattoo of Jon on his leg. Jon w/ a portrait tat is a Jon I am happy to be free of. Oh my god. I hate tattoos like that. Oh my god.
I wish I could have made Annie Hall and Before Sunrise and Before sunset.
Before Sunset:
Jesse: In the months leading up to my wedding, I was thinking about you all the time. I mean, even on my way there; I'm in the car, a buddy of mine is driving me downtown and I'm staring out the window, and I think I see you, not far from the church, right? Folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli on the corner of 13th and Broadway. And I thought I was going crazy, but now I think it probably was you.
Celine: I lived on 11th and Broadway.
Jesse: You see?
And this is the closest 'art' has imitated life, for me
it made me feel cold, as if love wasnt for me. my cat is named after this character, not celine dion, btw. from the start i make no effort. i hope this doesnt happen to me!!! of COURSE i remember. omg his dreams.
Alright, I've said all these things before. So I'm going to bed. Good night.
Lol, I just noticed I said poptarts instead of hot pockets. I do this in real life, too. Always. It's like how I always ask, "What are you going to be for Christmas" instead of "Halloween."
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
_cucumbers's Friends Page
amused
content