ice cream. [entries|friends|calendar] daniela. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

sixty-one; [12 Oct 2007|10:57am] [ music | jazz - a tribe called quest ] i finally got a job. i am working at stupid walmart in the sporting goods department. whatever. it's a job and it'll help pay for my classes next semester also help save up for my own place somewhere outside of san diego. i owe my mom almost $1,000. what a burden. i hope i don't fail the drug test. i'm going to los angeles today to see my dear cousins, rodrigo, pablo, and maybe margarita and claudia. oh, and to hangout with my new friend, raul. i decided that every weekend i have off, i'm going to go to los angeles because right now, that's the only place that makes me happy. i want to be there as much as possible. when i come home, i know i am going to feel like shit. as a metaphore, it's almost like coming down from ecstasy. i'm there for a couple of days feeling bliss and happiness but when i leave for the greyhound, i start to feel the come downs. i dread coming home as i dread coming down from ecstasy or any drug, actually. it's depressing. fucking faggot ass brian has my tv and i want it back. well, i can't say anything because i still have his playstation 2 haha.  i like you. no, i really like you.

sixty; [07 Oct 2007|10:45am] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | matt and kim - no more long years ] so much pressure in air and i can't get away i'm not happy here

59; [03 Oct 2007|12:23pm] [ mood | istillwanttodie. ] i hate you san diego. i can't wait to leave you.

58; [21 Sep 2007|03:24am] [ mood | iwanttodie. ] you were my only real friend... now, i am alone.  i clearly see that you never gave a shit about me. fucking liar.

57; [17 Sep 2007|04:49am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | i am not your gameboy - freezepop ] going to school in my pajamas is awesome. 8 more days until halo 3.

56; [28 Aug 2007|09:56pm] [ mood | grumpy ] [ music | baldwin hills ] tuesdays and thursdays aren't so bad with you guys by my side.

55; [20 Aug 2007|04:20am] [ mood | afraid ] [ music | bioshock demo. ] today is the first day of school. i am terrified.

54; [09 Aug 2007|05:12pm] [ mood | exanimate ] [ music | dead prez - hip hop ] i'm changing, it's scary but exciting. my mother and i rarely have arguements anymore. we actually get along. it's great. in fact, it's fucking awesome. i feel that i am maturing and learning as i grow older.  i just turned 19 a month ago and i have came to so many realizations. mostly, that money is the root of all evil and i can't be screwing around anymore with it. life sometimes stresses me out to the point where i have nervous breakdowns at least two or three times every two weeks. i mean, bad ones; they're getting better. i get easily jealous of kids my age who have more than i do and don't deserve it. i think that's okay though, because i figured out that when that happens, i strive for more in life and i think that's what keeps me going further. i have overcome so many obstacles in the past two years. the biggest one being using my anger for inspiration. only i will truley understand what that means to me and that's all that matters. am i the only one who feels intimidated by the whole entire world? on another note, i'm pissed that grand theft auto 4 is being pushed back to march of 2008 when it was supposed to be realised in september. and, the boondocks season two...holy god, can't wait! met aaron mcgruder at the con and he mentioned lil wayne playing a role of riley and huey's cousin along with a lot of other things that sounded fantastic for the season. also, i'm excited for the hitman movie. i like assassins.

53; [13 Jun 2007|07:16pm] [ mood | artsy fartsy ] Arin and Susan's description of a "Four Eyed Monster" is really adorable and i can't get over how beautiful that movie was.

52; [19 May 2007|11:36pm] [ mood | anxious ] rodrigo, erika, my boy, and elon all working at the same place with me. how rad is that? it's pretty damn rad. i've done a couple things since my last update. promoted, six flags, demoted, hotels, college, promoted, new music, old music, come downs, old friends, new friends, work, work, and work. i have more than enough money for my piano, but i am choosing to save until i have enough for both, a piano and colombia. i am reading a book called "they poured fire on us from the sky." true story. it's about three boys, living in the 90's, how they get lost in sudan for a couple of years and what they go through. almost every chapter, i've cried. i don't think i've ever cried reading a book. except "bean trees." this book makes me appreciate me being alive like crazy. life is alright, you know? brian makes me laugh up a storm everyday. i still get that "alone" feeling right before i go to bed, but who doesn't? i hope they decide to air bug juice on the disney channel this summer.

51; [25 Mar 2007|06:29pm] [ music | menomena - wet & rusting ] i love days like this. it's a beautiful day. we are bbqing at jon's house but i'm not hungry, really. actually, i am. i babysat yesterday for the first time ever. i did fine. it weirds me out to know i was just like baby sebastian at one point and now, here i am taking care of a future 18 year old. i pretend that he thinks of me the same way i do to him. "this girl doesn't understand me, and i don't understand her but we will both live through it." i was in a good mood today until my brother introduced himself to james. oh well. he was nice. james likes him. they're going to be good together. can't wait. my grandmother is going insane. it's okay except i feel sorry for my grandpa because she blames absolutely every little thing she does wrong on him. my family is attempting to read this. i love them.

50; [11 Mar 2007|01:56am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | lily allen - smile ] NubsandCakes: my mom always said "Every time in a mans life, their is a point where he buys his true love orange juice. preferably Minute Maid, not that shitty cheap stuff." that was said about a month and a half ago. since then, we've joked about it here and there. last week, james bought me this: on our 2 month anniversary. mmm. "i love you."

49; [28 Feb 2007|07:56pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | call of duty 3 ] i want 300 hugs from you because i had a really bad day. =[

48; [23 Feb 2007|07:27pm] [ mood | angry ] last year, regina spektor came to town and played a 21+ show on 11/05. i was bummed; truely and deeply sad that i wouldn't be able to see her perform. this year, i hear that she is coming back to san diego to play at house of blues 04/29. i get excited to know i get another chance to see her. so i start telling people about how excited i am to see her perform, and requesting the days off from work and all that. i am just super pumped! she gave the 20 and under's another chance! but then i get this email: "Click the "Buy Tickets" link to order Pre-Sale tickets for the shows.....all orders require a credit card...blah blah blah." and at the very bottom? in big and red color so that if wore glasses and happened to not have them on, i could see the words a lot better: "The House Of Blues San Diego show is 21+" i haven't cried so hard. i am pissed. 7 :: %$#&!

47; [14 Feb 2007|11:16pm] [ mood | sleepy ] i think the only time roses are acceptable is when they are totally and completely random. my boy, you are magnificent! i posted this last year.

46; [12 Feb 2007|05:45pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | mind sex - dead prez ] brian is such a wigger. nah, but he knows his shit. i love it.

44; [10 Feb 2007|02:56pm] [ music | freetime - kenna ] my mom says if i don't clean my room right now, she'll kick me out of the house.

43; [08 Feb 2007|08:12pm] [ music | suite pee - system. ] i am happy. maybe i shouldn't be driving illegally.

42; [06 Feb 2007|08:20pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | eau d'bedroom dancing - le tigre ] i am in a good mood. but my stomach is not. tonight is going to be wonderful.

41; [01 Feb 2007|09:04pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | peruvian cocaine - immortal technique ] i hate when people talk all nice about you to other people. i know they're trying to be nice but i hate it. "man, she's so good at the piano, dude. her voice is amazing. you need to hear her! blah blah blah. she's fucking GOOOOOD." and then they make you promise that you will play piano and sing this upcomming weekend in front of those other people during halftime  and then those other people think you suck ass because they were expecting something REALLY good. this is why i do not like playing piano in front of anyone. i think i am afraid of people's opinions. i am scared of rejection. even the slightest, "i never knew you could sing like that. i mean, i heard you hum before but i didn't know you could SING sing...i know you can make your voice louder, daniela. you have so much potential," makes me think i fucking suck at the one thing love most in the world. what happens is, i stop playing for a few days because i get that feeling that i've failed. like, i'll never be as good as alicia keys or norah jones so i might as well just give up now. and then people say "no, you just got to keep singing and playing and you'll get better!" but no. it's not like that with me. if i can't do one thing, i won't do any of the other things and i'll give up. the selected few that i HAVE played for. yeah. that one person. well, two now. i play for them because i am comfortable singing in front of them because it's already been done with. my mom doesn't count. she hears me playing all the time. damn, i just lost my train of thought. and i also missed the office tonight so i'm going to throw a tantrum. thanks for listening. 2 :: %$#&!

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