| an egocentric, slightly passive aggressive, rather vague acount of my life... |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2009|11:05 pm] |
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Pixies, last night with daddy. Holy fucking shit. They are my number one band, I feel accomplished. |
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| beautiful and sad. |
[Sep. 3rd, 2009|08:47 pm] |
I've been OBSESSED with Daniel Johnston lately.
Also things have been so fucking weird. Yesterday I got home from my 4:30-11:30 morning shift (fuck) was fine just sleeping. All of a sudden I got a blinding pain in my stomach, was so on hot and on fire I was covered in sweat and ripped off my clothes and vomited from the pain. I freaked out and got really sad because I didn't know who to call. Certainly not my mom at this point. I found a ride to the ER and the pain subsided suddenly. So I went back home, not because I don't value my health, but because that intolerable pain was gone and I can't afford the ER copay so I'm going to the doctors next week. Blah. I spent the rest of the day hanging out with gellar and laying in bed and watching L word. Oh, I miss women. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2009|12:26 am] |
As much as Worcester has a somewhat deserved reputation for being a townie shit hole, it has its charms. Its dirt cheap, gritty, non pretentious, diverse and alive for better or worse. I go to bars and know people, I have somewhat of a community. I can network without feeling like an inept turd. But there is no career here for me, and I'm done with my academics here. So what to do, keep working at fucking Starfucks as a barista and sit on my two degrees and be comfy and know some really cool people, or jump out and leave and possibly be pretty lonely and awkward and follow my dreams. Well relocate them and then follow them, or at least try and catch up. Anyone know? Let me know when you figure it out.
In other news this shit is crack, I eat it on my eggs, toast, noodles, crackers, basically any substrate that wont get mushy with the oil. (That's another thing all these cheap little Vietnamese, Spanish, Japanese groceries that feed my addiction to obscure foreign cuisine, and MSG laden condiments that burn your tongue.) Get yourself some:
.jpg) SOOOOOOO AMAZING.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2009|11:36 pm] |
I feel so happy. I've had a wonderful fucking weekend. White water rafting, food, the country, perspective. Being told I am loved and believing romantically or otherwise can save me. I've felt like shit for so so long that this little window of bliss has felt all the more moving. I just got back from my Aunt Jades in Western Mass, where we walked, talked, ate, played with her animals (dog, cat, horse, donkey.) The white water rafting was so great, hours in the sun on that raft being splashing and jerked around in the freezing water, coming home and talking a shower, and drying off in the hot sun on my aunts deck. I got home ate some amazing salmon, had some amazing sex, and then I'm back here. Drinking my porter packing up for tomorrow, Maine. My roomates sister is visiting, and cleaning the house! The mess of her sister. I love having a full house.
Despite all the shit we've seen each other through my Aunt always astounds me with her amazingness, her wellness, the happiness and fullness of her life in the face of all that shit our family has been through. Yeesh.
Oh and I finally got a job! Back at fucking starbucks, which is not ideal seeing as though I have two b.a.s under my belt, but at the very least Ill make rent and hopefully my loans and not be living at home. I'm starting to feel at least a little bit that I'm not just pretending to grow into an adult, maybe I'm actually growing. |
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| I'm so very obsessed with this at the moment. |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|09:49 pm] |
Also my life is a tedious ball of potential, I could be really happy right now, if things would just fall into place. I'm on the cusp. But I'm still not there. |
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| TONIGHT. |
[Jan. 31st, 2009|12:41 pm] |
I'm going to see Beirut tonight! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2008|03:00 am] |
just danced till my toes bled. and I'm pretty okay with that. also escaped to vermont for the day.
everytime things get to be absolute shit, they get just a bit a better and I think maybe it might be okay, after all. Right? |
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| true |
[Jun. 7th, 2008|03:46 pm] |
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[May. 21st, 2008|05:13 pm] |
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Fuck this. So I have mono. I sleep 16 hours a day, feel hungover constantly, have a 102 temperature, and both my splein and my liver are enflamed so I cant move around a bunch or do any real work or they could rupture. Good news is I wont be that contagious for long. But ugh. I just wanted to work, catch up with friends and have a good summer. Instead I'm stuck in my moms house, with the cats, no television, just my dvds and a 1998 "laptop" from which I can sometimes if Im lucky finagle twenty or so minutes of internet from. I'm bored. I'm going crazy. My entire body hurts. HALP! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 9th, 2008|05:31 pm] |
So I've managed this long without a cellphone....but I'm caving in.
I have no idea where to start, its so overwhelming. I havent found anyone to do the whole family plan thing with me, so what I am looking for is:
- a basic phone that I can talk/text on.
- 40ish dollars a month
- good reception/quality
- no bogus overcharges etc.
I dont know where to start, and what phone to get. I will be living in one city for a year and then most lively moving about an hour away for the next year. Does it matter where I get the phone? Any reccomendations? Where do I start? HALP! |
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| me and Kepez camping in the Maasai Mara |
[Mar. 22nd, 2008|04:28 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Magnetic Fields (im an addict.) | ] |
this picture, this moment, was a year ago today. i cant believe it. I remember exactly how I felt, what I wearing, what it smelled like, what I was thinking, and who I was with.
Crazy how much you and everything around you can change in a year. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 21st, 2008|02:12 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Magnetic Fields- I love you, I cant Touch you Anymore | ] |
Um, I can't even encapsulate that differentness of my life these past few days. I got one hour of sleep last "night."
This entire week I have not been able to fall asleep before 5 am, or eat before 3 pm.
Also, do you want to know what fills me with HOMICIDAL RAGE?????????????????????
PARASITE HILTON NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE. I really dont think you understand, I saw this and I could hear my blood pulsing in my ears. I'd better not run into that bitch, or shes going down, and not in the good way.
Motherfucker. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2008|12:47 pm] |
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So sleeping and eating lately, are simple things that I just cannot do. When I finally fell asleep last night it was about 4am. I woke up at 8 and fell back asleep. I was pregnant, then I had it. It was Meg's. I was breastfeeding it when some man showed up and told me he was taking it. So I was heartbroken and devastated and inconsolable, and breast milk was running down my chest. I woke up, and it wasn't breast milk, but I was crying, and I'm sitting here missing a child that I don't have, from a relationship that doesn't exist anymore, with someone who is not capable of getting me pregnant. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2008|03:54 pm] |
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Oh, wait. I posted what two hours ago. Everything is infinitely worse, and I'd be happy to be to hours ago. Over this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2008|08:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dead and numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Neede in the fucking hay | ] |
Can I just say, that this is one of the most beautiful, apt, well edited, moving scenes of cinema that I have ever seen. Despite how emo it, and I am.
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| Its Always Sunny in Philidelphia |
[Dec. 6th, 2007|01:04 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | clark | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Paul Simon | ] |
the end is love. please watch all the way through.
from my new favorite show. life is fucking crazy, and I dont feel like filling in the details. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2007|06:16 pm] |
Yeah its been a while. I am back as you maybe have gathered. Back in the first world, back at Clark, back. So much work its hard to not let time be ticked away. Things are falling back into place slowly. They arent the same, but they never are.
I got a pet mouse, she is Nico, and she is cute.
I am wondering as usual what the fuck I am doing with my life, what its doing to me, and where I am going to be after this year is over. Shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2007|08:06 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bush camp | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | birds | ] |
So, no I havent updated about the insane amazingness that has been my life for the past few months here in Africa. But alas a week from today I'm gonna begin the 2 and a half day journey to come back home. This place has become my home, and the people here my family, I've fallen in love with Africa. I really have. So part of me is devastated to leave. I'm proud with all my heart of the work I've done here, and thats so rare in my life. So Im crushed to leave. But not sad to be home. I miss you. I miss my girl. I miss my mom. I miss hot showers, and a ratfree bed. So part of me is excited. My research write up is almost done, and monday we get to present our findings to the local community. Tonight we are going on a night game drive to see nocturnal carnivores in the wildlife sanctuary that our camps on. I'm trying to hold on to these last few experiences, who knows if I'll ever be back here.
I dont know if I'll be able to explain what it has been like for me here, infact sometimes pictures even seem trite. But, oh. Its amazing. Sorry to sound so dramatic. But I'll be home soon, and though I will prolly be hiding in my room absorbing the culture shock I will be in boston and worcester soon enough. Much love. |
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