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So sleepy. In fact, it took me about 1.5 minutes to type the word sleepy correctly. How sad...
I started my story. It's called Snowdrop. And no, it is not related to the manga in any way. I'm working on it right now. I might post it soon...

Van Helsing rocked.

Rawr. I just want sleep. DDR, sleep, making cookies, and perhaps going to a few movies with Matthew. (Nya, me and the Thumper Bunny are off to Van Helsing later... ^ ^ I'll probably go again with Matthew though, if it's really good.)
*grumbles* I had another mini-break down today, and now I'm totally sick from crying. It sucks. You teach yourself to numb yourself to all the hurtful things so you can't feel them, but you open yourself up. Because you think it might be worth it to throw away the cold bitch personality for a while. Then you end up getting hurt. And everything else that comes afterwards feels ten times worse. No matter how hard you try, you can't make yourself numb again, and you always feel like vomiting because you know deep down that it's going to be a rough ride yet.
*bangs head on keyboard repeatedly* I need to work on a new story. Something to vent all this bullshit into. Yeah. A story. Even if it's short, just anything, anything at all! Sweet. That's a great idea.
*runs off to grab some tea* Can't think with out caffienated substance...

The money I've spent on DDR this week... *shakes head* insanity. Ah well, it was well-deserved stress release.
And the survivor finale is on Sunday! And I just went on a massive art supply shopping spree! And I've got tickets for Van Helsing on friday! And I've had 3.5 large iced cappucinos! And that's why I'm so hyper! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
*coughs* okis, I'm alirght... seriously, so many people have thought I was drunk today. It was a combo of DDR exhaustion and too much caffiene afterwards... oO.
I've been on a mad search for some pink and black plaid fabric. Like, all black, with the lines pink? I want to make an awesome jumper out of it. And if I can find a pink fabric with black plaid, I'll make a new pinafore and a headpeice! Nyah ha! *does a little dance*
Oh, and another thing to add to my recent list of addictions: Go. I watched Hikaru no Go, and now I'm addicted to the game and the series. Weee! ^ ^

nobody knows what loli-pop dollhouse is yet! tee hee! it's gonna be awesome, just wait... ^ ^

Be afraid minna-san... be very afraid.





*giggles and runs away*

So, once again, I have that "tiny" feeling that tells me it's going to be one fucking hell of a week.
The 30th was the 5th year anniversary of my grandma's death. Nobody else in the family remembered, as always. I was the only one to visit her and bring flowers.
I'm thinking too much. And that isn't good. Then I think about not thinking in an effort to stop thinking and then I just end up thinking again.
And just now, my brother hits my sister, like, punches her in the arm, and then I yell at him "what the fuck are you doing, you shit! leave her alone!" And then my dad comes in, and he's like "did you hit her?" and he says no, and so he believes the little fucker, and I'm the one who gets punched in the arm after that. And the bastard hits her all the time! He's such an abusive little fuck! I hate sibling. But I hate parents even more. Hell, people are just all together morons.
I'm also sick of being some "prize" to be shown off. Everyone is always like "Oh, please come with me! I want to show you off to my friends!" That was Linnet last night... apparently, I'm adorable. Which I just don't get. Sure, the lolita style is cute, but still, I don't think I'm that cute... bah. There I go, putting myself down again. I shouldn't do that. *scolds self*
On the other hand though, I feel invisible, alone, and rather ignored.
On the other other hand, there are a few who actually make me feel special, and treat me with what I think is more respect than I deserve, but it still is nice. Boz treats me like a princess, always referring me to as "Milady", and being the perfect gentleman. I love kodona boys, they're always so adorable, polite and well mannered. *sighs* Too bad the good ones always turn out to be gay.
Not that I'm wanting a relationship, or anything. Not so soon after "that". Fuck, no.
But all the same, I have no idea what I want anymore. In anything. In life. I thought I did, but now I have no idea what I'm supposed to be living for, or how I'm supposed to found out, or what I'm going to do after school, or anything!
Perhaps I'm overreacting. Maybe it's just the new tea. Who knows. But right now... I'm going to curl up under the desk and sleep. *nods* Yes. That is what I shall do.
But on another note: I'm now freakishly addicted to Neopets. God help me... T T

Oh my. I have this strange urge to draw lots and lots of Hellsing fanart...

[×]†..Lặđÿ•Ĉlởçķ..†[×](Hellsing! MORE HELLSING!)..(•†Gød Ŝąve tħë Ļøliŧ冕)../ ~Gareki no Rakuen~ \ says:
I'm scared.
[×]†..Lặđÿ•Ĉlởçķ..†[×](Hellsing! MORE HELLSING!)..(•†Gød Ŝąve tħë Ļøliŧ冕)../ ~Gareki no Rakuen~ \ says:
*curls up into fetal position and all that is seen is a ball of lace and ruffles rocking back and forth with a small tophat on top* Must... print... as many pictures... as possible... waste the ink! WASTE THE INK! OH MY GOD~! THE MONKEY STOLE MY NOODLES!
!::Thumper:: Truly if there is evil in this world, it lies within the heart of mankind. -Edward D. Morrison says:
........
[×]†..Lặđÿ•Ĉlởçķ..†[×](Hellsing! MORE HELLSING!)..(•†Gød Ŝąve tħë Ļøliŧ冕)../ ~Gareki no Rakuen~ \ says:
a world without logos is stuck in my head, and this Bonnie Pink song is scaring me so fucking much... KANA! MUST FIND CHIMAME!! *desperately searches folders* ACK! THERE IS NO SPOON! *falls over*



Oo...

methinks that perhaps I should cut down on my tea intake...

Nya ha. I am watching Hikaru no Go!! Weeeeeeeeee! ^ ^' *sweatdrop*
I have a new goal this weekend: to master at least three songs on double heavy, on DDR. Bwa ha ha.
So, I ordered Alexis's b-day present yesterday, from Baby, the Stars Shine Bright. *giggles* she is going to freak. ^ ^
*dances around in circles* Gya ha ha ha. I'm in a hyper mood today. Super, super super super hyper. Woot.
*points to Hikaru no Go* ha, he's getting his ass kicked! Take that, freaky kid with the abnormaly straight hair! Whoo! O O Jesus tap dancing on an elephant christ, that one kid has fucking freaky lips... o O
Yeah. This is getting to be a ramble entry. I'm going now before it gets scary...

DDR has probably made you a very poor, albeit very healthy, person. You're probably very well known for your skills in your ddr community, even if your life outside of it is nonexistant!


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