dicingalice and me were putting together a list of the
worst books we ever read. After some thinking and digging in boxes of books I just cannot stand to have in my shelves I finally found
Vampire Vow one of the
most hilariously bad gay porn books I have ever read in my life full of gay pr0n love.
and so we decided to share some gems:
it goes medias in res and these are the first sentences:
Chapter 1
I wanted Jesus. That's how it started. Yes, the Jesus they built a religion on, the one they say rose from the dead. (I should be the last creature in the world to doubt that.)
There we were, on a quite, stony hilltop overlooking the city, the stars above us, like light through pinpricks in black velvet.
Just he and I, years before the 12 dolts who formed his entourage. We huddled next to each other as we often did, and I finally asked him.
"Joshu," I whispered - that was my name for him. "Why resist this? You're always talking about the vanity of human law, about wanting to strike out against the old order."
He looked troubled, a young man of 23 still as idealistic as his disgustingly naive, dull Nazarene parents, who actually believed me, when I told them I was a Jew - I a Roman Officer serving under Pilate!
"I'm troubled," he said, he leaned back on his hands. The moonlight washed over his lean form, his fine brow betraying his sensuality as much as it did his intelligence.
[...]
"You're talking about forbidden relations."
"Forbidden to whom?" I asked. I could hear him weakening, see him eyeing my strong calves, my bulky thighs. It was hot and I had thrown off my tunic to tempt him. Nature had given me a square jaw, a cleft chin, a dark mane, eyes that could bring a vestal virgin to her knees - a cock that could keep her there.
[...]
"[...]We race along the river, buck-naked. We even bathe each other! Ours is the only ultimate bond."
Right there, the Jew temple of Jerusalem beneath us, I swore to myself that I would finally enter him - the boy prophet, the ultimate challenge, my obsession. I would enter him, the way I entered the emperor's gates after a campaign: invincible, majestic. But hailed by his groans rather than by the cries of banner-waving masses.
I reached beneath his robe.
He pulled away. "No, Victor." His voice was not without regret. "I'm not ready to throw out the law of my fathers. This cannot happen."
( more cock )