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_castro_'s LiveJournal:
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| Wednesday, September 13th, 2006 | | 10:03 pm |
I'll even puts rims on your wheelchair.
This made me giggle. 0 editing becasue thats how i rlol! CastroJub: what are you up to saturday? CastroJub: we are having a party for welcomign wayne hoem and sending ian off CastroJub: at ians place CastroJub: kegs strippers cocaine CastroJub: well one outa three aint bad somersmith06: lol where does ian live? CastroJub: gilford road CastroJub: past the cruves somersmith06: sounds pretty sweet CastroJub: that it will be somersmith06: if kendall and i are totally broken up by then (i usually stay at his house on the weeknds) i'll be there... CastroJub: peep it sucka... CastroJub: lol breaking up eh somersmith06: yeah he's being a dink... CastroJub: if your thinking of breaking up fuck it coem party we'll beat up soem homeless people and start a fire CastroJub: it'll be a good time somersmith06: lol sweet CastroJub: sans the drama with yo babies moma somersmith06: lol yeah CastroJub: get a bit shart faced and play soem beer pong...kickign it oldskool somersmith06: fucking right CastroJub: so fuck that bitch with whom your breakign up with CastroJub: you beter be there i dont coem to caro much anymore somersmith06: i might... i might... CastroJub: Do it CastroJub: lol CastroJub: dooooooooooooooo eeeeeeeet!! somersmith06: there's a concert in cass city saturday that we wanna go to CastroJub: you know you want to somersmith06: buuut we might come out afterwards CastroJub: I'm way cooler then that..lol somersmith06: lol somersmith06: of course you are :P CastroJub: damn right you know its ture CastroJub: I rule with the 401k and shit somersmith06: lol CastroJub: plus i mean I know i'm so hella hot so hang can you turn down hanging out with me, it's like being in the presence of greatness to all that are around I'm the por mans brad pitt..all the ladies know it somersmith06: lol and why the hell hasn't anyone told me this?? CastroJub: duh cause you msot by blind deaf and dumb..but you're still cool..that how i roll with the handi-capable somersmith06: lol jerk CastroJub: i'll even put rims on you're wheelchair CastroJub: it's all gravy somersmith06: lmao CastroJub: I am totally noit jerk CastroJub: i saved like family of baby seasl once CastroJub: with my teeth CastroJub: MY FUCKING TEETH CastroJub: lol somersmith06: lol but hey i'm gonna go grab a pop, smoke a cigarette and let megan on her own computer but i might be back later... but then again i work at 6 o'clock in the A.M. CastroJub: yeah i gotta be up at 8 so i feel ya CastroJub: i beter se yea this weekend CastroJub: or you can forget about this rims CastroJub: and i might even club that seal somersmith06: lol ok ok i'll keep that in mind:P CastroJub: aight CastroJub: peace somersmith06: later tater somersmith06 signed off at 10:00:44 PM. | | Thursday, September 7th, 2006 | | 8:44 pm |
All bottled waters are not the same.
Sitting out on my stoop and smoking allows me time to observe, to use that keen sense of sight, sounds, and smell that this body has blessed me with. Tonight as I sat and enjoyed a slow cancerous pasttime a young asian couple co-ocupied my space. The women was petite and beautiful in the way that many asian women are, the men was well dressed and had a polished lok about himself. Living here in the international dorm has had some interesting by products, I think I am being more exposed to a world population then the rest of the glumfucks about this place. This has been some what of culture shock coming from a reasonably diverse college in flint to this tiny west michigan town, but it's not without it's moments like tonight. So back to the main event, as I sat enjoying the night air and my smoke this couple stod by and talked in soemwhat hushed tones, either out of respect of thier new founded company or some form of socail morray in thier home culture or both. Either way though they were speaking a pigeon form of language that utterly amazed me, from what i could pick up they were fluently speaking both thier home langauge and english at once, like some sorta mixed brew of asio-english. This in itself made me feel infinatly small in this world and completly culturally bankrupt. I know but the language of my home land, it's cultures, history and ways. While i pride myself on being informed and soemwhat wordly as much as my small town up bringings have let me be, this was a wholely humbling experience. So Asian couple my hat is of to you, and my night has lend me into a bit of an introspective mood. -peace | | Monday, January 2nd, 2006 | | 1:54 pm |
Tu thouzands sixxle.
In the Year 2005...... [P E O P L E] 1. Best friend(s)?: Ian,Russian,Kyle 2. Best boyfriend/girlfriend?: yo momma 3. Lost any friends?: eh...who can say. 4. Gained any friends?: maybe 5. Met a new good friend?: nah. [P L A C E S] 1. Went out of the country?: no actually. 2. Moved?: No 3. New school?: nope back at Mott full time. 4. How many times on an airplane?: none 5. Road trips?: none...I didn't vacation at all. [Y O U] 1. Have you changed?: somewhat. 2. New look?: my hair is short. 3. Any new additions?: none body or otherwise 5. Most depressed time this year?: not sharing that. [L O V E] 1. Did you fall in love?: no 2. Did you get a heartbroken?: No 3. Who was your summer love?: fuck I don't know, how about jamie if that can count. 4. How many boyfriends/girlfriends this year?: 0 5. Favorite date?: 0 [S E A S O N S] 1. Favorite Season?: sprins 2. Least favorite season?: fall 3. Good birthday?: I don't remember all of it so yes. 4. Any snow this year?: Yes, but mostly rain though, its lame 5. Highest temperature?: low 100s [F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S] 1. Snuck out?: Don't have to. 2. Met a person who will change your life?: no such luck. 3. Kept your resolution?: Dont make any 4. Got arrested?: No sir. 5. Had a first something?: membership to a gym? 6. Drank Alcohol?: yes of course 7. Smoked weed/drugs?: couple times 8. Did anything illegal?: yes 9. Kissed a boy/girl?: Yes 10. Had a crush?: Yes 11. Liked someone?: Yes 12. Lost a family member?: yes 13. Got bad grades?: not really 14. Got suspended?: No 15. Moved states?: No 16. Got a myspace?: yes 17. Started a band?: No 18. Spent over 1 million dollars?: on cocaine 19. Went streaking?: no 20. Done something you shouldn't have?: yes 21. Kept a secret?: Yes 22. Told a secret?: Yes 23. Done something you totally regret?: yea at the moment. 24. Changed your view on things?: yes I have. ~*~*~*~ 1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?: went back to school by my choice and paid for it my self. 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: no, i half ass made one this year...we'll see. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth?: nope 4. Did anyone close to you die?: not really 5. What countries did you visit?: None 6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?: travel, health 7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: october, sept, and spring. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: going back to school 9. What was your biggest failure?: not gettign a job yet, maybe someone else. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury?: No 11. What was the best thing you bought?: My 748. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration?: anyones? 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: Mr. johnson....that guy needs a dog. 14. Where did most of your money go?: Thai hookers and blow. 15. What events did you get really, really, really excited about?: Nothing 16. What song will always remind you of 2005?: The Casualty, by Cursive. 17. Compared to this time last year, you are...: Older, better understanding of my self, in school, somewhat sadder. 18. What do you wish you'd done more of?: Felt 19. What do you wish you'd done less of?: rationalized 20. How did you spend Christmas?: getting drunk 21. Did you fall in love in 2005?: sometimes we like to pretend. 22. What was your favorite TV program?: Nip/Tuck 23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: yeah maybe. 24. What was the best book you read?: The Manticore-Robertson Davies 25. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery?: Cursive, decemberists, letters organize. 26. What did you want and get?: my 748, a kiss, a little more of who I am. 27. What did you want and not get?: to much 28. What were your favorite films of this year?: Crash, Cinderella man, Elephant, devils rejects, more. 29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: I got drunk, I was 21. 30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: focus, structure, less stress, more.... 31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?: Poor dumb shit. 32. What kept you sane?: amphetamines...j/k 33. What political issue stirred you the most?: Illeagal Wire-tapping anyone? 34. Whom did you miss?: Wayne..bitches! 35. Who was the best new person you met?: megan or matt 36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: Quit being so cold and logical, winning is not always the best, sometimes we must bow out. You're better then that. | | Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005 | | 8:08 pm |
What up Ninjas.
List ten songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Livejournal along with your ten songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to. 1.Cause = time- broken social scene 2.Please Please Pleasw- head automatica 3.True dreams of wichita- soul soughing 4.This modern Love- Bloc party 5.Empte-Skinny Puppy 6.Matador-The letters organize 7.Jet Black New Year- Thursday 8.Calfornia Highway one- The Decemberists 9.White Tar- The Bronx 10.Pattern Agianst User- At The Drive In You under this line are tagged 1. Jamie 2. Ambe 3. JP 4. Stevo 5. Drew 6. Nikki 7. Don | | Saturday, November 12th, 2005 | | 4:20 pm |
 I want it to known I have never watched this show...even once....but sadly I can agree with most of that quiz. | | Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 | | 11:24 pm |
Fucking shit up the American way, with big big guns....
wow..i'm emo fag perhaps but fuck off...i'm a stupid schoolgirl sometimes...and I wouldn't want it any other way. I. Rushing onward hand in hand growing up one night at a time Thoughts and words tangle time passes, nothing pauses girl next door, best bet that old american dream heart tempered by friendship nutured by someunder current Dark hair flutting in autumn wind rain, beats the face a rosie palor with each year ,more beauty pushing it's way up to the surface II. So tonight I sleep Triumphant cool blue hues, casted shadows windows dim grime, light fog Tonight I am free from thought Empty is the head, who's heart is full gones in seconds is doubt, shame raplace by exalted joy, weightlessness a want fufilled, flesh out looking backwars through photos smallkeepsakes, of past pleasures looking ahed, no time but now no place exists but here Hearing her speak I know tholse words wiser then I could craft let it go, you can't own it give in, you can't think it over bursting like a tiny flash, bonds seperate holding the small body in my arms lips cling, sticky from drink and smoke as if they don't ever wish to let go her eyes locked upward, seeing nothing and I am free, more then ever in moments like this, right now I am as empty and perfect as space and she has given me this and more | | Sunday, September 11th, 2005 | | 8:49 am |
What The Fuxor!
No updates in very very long time. I guess I have been busy not doing much. quick update list. 1. I quit my job 2. Started school again(getting my assoc. this year) 3. Crashed my motorcycle(not bad only doing 30mph) 4. I'm still stuck being pretty nocturnal 5. Kate is gone maybe forever. 6. Greg came home from korea. 7. I've given up my damn year+ long crush finally. 8. Friends are getting hitched, others already have children. 9. Feeling old these days. 10. May move out sooner then I thought. So there are no still lives. Everying in motion just at different paces, kinda feels like life these days. This year is gonna be a different one just like all the rest of them. Time to shut, put up, and grow up. catch you all on the flip side. -castro | | Tuesday, July 19th, 2005 | | 5:15 am |
Kick my Teeth in with that Celluloid grin. Please
Droning metal clanging against unyielding metal Softer sounds of flesh connect, hard packing sounds Dry like burlap on pavement, fist against chest This is the hours I waste away, a path, a u-turn Native sons without illumination, graveyard shift Rusty once oiled bearing hissing a dull melody Buzzing into my heart and telling me static Every night is the same song, radio volume Across a vase sits empty, no plants here Only brackish foul water occupies The water seems to have it right, this place Slow decay, a filth you cannot get clean from Silica in you lungs, iron in your flesh It's brave new world a pinnacle of industry One whose hothouse smog surrounds you The smell gives a nauseous tinge even in this My second year hardened palate, choke Migraines waft in like the scent of molten iron Forged in heat, on hot humid summer nights Compounding scrap,iron,pig,coke,flesh,sweat To build New, to make quotas, to give praise To oil fields, and automobiles, the American way My way, the flow of money, the scent of blood My blood,sweat,soul all in that hutch, perspiring For a paycheck, for things I can’t afford For ways of life I cannot sustain This is what it feels like at 5 a.m. This is how the sweltering humidity tastes Iron mixed with dust and rust. The water looks just a bit greyer So do I | | Thursday, July 14th, 2005 | | 11:35 pm |
der absoluten Zerrissenheit!
This book I'm reading(House of Leaves-mark z. Danielewski) is amazing...simply amazing. I just had my mind blown. there are like 2 main stories going on not like back to back but withen each other footnote fighting the wrestle the page away from the meat text...this is one of the strangest and msot rewarding novels I have ever read...this is the book I would write if I was genius. it builds faslse mythos like Borges(even gives nod to), play with langauage like nabokov...it's so layered that if you could make a written descrition of the taste of a a good stout this is it. this part of the story the partner of the main char navidson, her name is karen is talking about her cheating on him..but not jsut that about her not being grounded as person and also being torn between Navidson and herlife..between fear and solidity, between the house and her city life, between past and future. the lines talk about her being picked up of the street by her lover to be after she falls on curb spralling her purse all around followed by the line -der absoluten Zerrissenheit!..normaly the extra langauge line(of which apear in everything from brail to hebrew) have footnote...but the foot notes are increasing the downward spiral on the life of the finded and origonal edititer of the main text and his friend that does the german passages is no longer aviable so I had to set out on my own quest to give meaning to this passage. it mean roughly the absolute state of being torn to pieces perpetually...so so important to the karen she is always being torn between things...the word itself isn't really tranlatable but i think it's the perfect word on earth to describe Karen...and the way around this state is being alone/beingoneself...finding the self...something Karen the pretty wife model of photography has spent her life avioding becuase withen the self is pain and memory and realizing your broken dreams etc. she runs from who she really is and therefore torn both by the events of her life and the core of her being.../.this book is amazing...I will ahve to reread it many times. I suggest it if you want challenging but very rewarding read. pick it up now. | | Sunday, July 10th, 2005 | | 9:02 pm |
Dandruff is 30 percent human ashes! or sunscreen it's whats for dinner
This is not finished...this is just the begining...nothing is over....over and out....out in the cold fusion...breakdance the dead...splash in the waters with me....work it over....work it out. anybody wanna play skeeeeeetskeeeetskeeeetball? the pandas are argueing agian i'll have tofind my tranq's Flabrogasticmyphaliagrengenicormorpheust italinis sir yes your test came back positive if you'll just go see the badger down the hall well have you all patched up in a jiffypop. POPCORN IS PEEEEEEOOOOPPPPLLLEEE!...it's PEEEEEEOOOOOPPPPLLLLEEE!@ masdlkIFkjdhsuYOUkglksdgkfCANhdgjkREADhd fghdTHISkfjghkTHEYdfjhgkjdhgkALREADYjhaj heHAVEijcnokijncWONpiunpsdjnc FIGHT THE POWER>>>>>>>>>>>>>WITH KIDGLOVES..........or fist the kids with powered gloves! that is the unquestion dance for me plz :) | | Monday, May 9th, 2005 | | 4:34 am |
Holding hands with mercury...life at the speed of light
Dreams Differred Time does not flow It weaves knots together A patchwork of events Influenced by emotion Dulled by chronology And a single moment Is a paradox, a ruse Both a part of the whole And a thing in itself A section of quilt I have these many years Grown, matured, calmed I have carried weight Destroyed mant parts Risen from ash, still myself Holding you for a moment Crosses time's boundaries Locked in nonlinear kiss But the moment just is Intense but singular From head long pursuit We grasp with tiny hands At the firmament of meaning But all symbolism is lost Fatalism is a false profit Soft words and pale limbs No time passes for us I am still fifteen, shaking But it is what it is A rose is still simply a rose This week end has been odd. Saw kate which was good it was as if we had hung out the day before...that kinda thing doesn't have a price it felt good to talk and hang out I miss the K-zoo kid and i hopew i'll keep more in contact with her now. It is very nice outside even right now, can't wait to ride the bike home. later kids I got work to do. -Mr.Roboto | | Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005 | | 8:21 am |
For over 130 years Lucky Strike has been.......
It's been a while kiddo's...I thought I'd bring you up to speed. school is over...I did well,it was easy. the ducati is on ebay, moving on to yet another bike. still 0 progress on the romance front..lol I have read like read like 8 books in the last couple weeks!..Bling bitches and now a random rant/prose/cliche/bloglike/postmodern lj whine/yadda/etc./suchforth blah blah blah i have problems...blah blah blah....dumb song lyrics " i remember this one time and then i said something whitty and she looked at me but then she broke my heart...arg man i'm sad now i gotta go write crappy poetry and drink myself to sleep....My vocab is huge, and I look better then most women but damn am I a lonely guy...woe is me" By some guy who gets laid more then any of us and gets paid alot more money. Man that songs is so awsome I mean it's deep it really speaks to me.....blah blah blah....my parents are mean...blah blah blah...school is tough...blah blah blah blah.....jenny/cassie/bill/Flemingsworth/ called me last night , man he/she/it is so cool we may hang out this weekend I hope it goes well...blah blah blah blah...you guys now that quiz about the "what kind of white trash barbie doll are you?" well I got ""...OLOL OMGZORS ISN"T THAT FUNNY!!!!....bla blah blah....I hate president bush....he's douche....blah blah blah....[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<insertrandom"is>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] It's been a while kiddo's...I thought I'd bring you up to speed.
school is over...I did well,it was easy.
the ducati is on ebay, moving on to yet another bike.
still 0 progress on the romance front..lol
I have read like read like 8 books in the last couple weeks!..Bling bitches
and now a random rant/prose/cliche/bloglike/postmodern lj whine/yadda/etc./suchforth
blah blah blah i have problems...blah blah blah....dumb song lyrics
" i remember this one time and then i said something whitty and she looked at me but then she broke my heart...arg man i'm sad now i gotta go write crappy poetry and drink myself to sleep....My vocab is huge, and I look better then most women but damn am I a lonely guy...woe is me" By some guy who gets laid more then any of us and gets paid alot more money.
Man that songs is so awsome I mean it's deep it really speaks to me.....blah blah blah....my parents are mean...blah blah blah...school is tough...blah blah blah blah.....jenny/cassie/bill/Flemingsworth/<insertnamehere> called me last night , man he/she/it is so cool we may hang out this weekend I hope it goes well...blah blah blah blah...you guys now that quiz about the "what kind of white trash barbie doll are you?" well I got "<insertretardedquizresult>"...OLOL OMGZORS ISN"T THAT FUNNY!!!!....bla blah blah....I hate president bush....he's douche....blah blah blah....<insertrandom"Is love"tag>.....blah blah blah...I got really drunk this weekend and woke up with my pant around my ankles and a sore ass...but that party was the bomb...aren't i hardcore.....blah blah..blah...I am completly deviod of anything intersting to say or do...I am but a another stupid mother fucker standing in queue on LJ spouting verbal loose stools...I am unimaginative,crash,and completly retarded....please shoot me in the face and do the world a service..actually that would do nothing as ten thousand other mother fucker just like me would stand up and take my place....there are enough bullets...thank god condems are free...DO YOUR PART TO END WORLD BLOGGING!!!.....STOP BREEDING WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME....blah blah blah....
If you are offended by this tough shit....I'm jsut to tired to actuallytype anythign good so i did this it's kinda satire....oh and I am made of ham.
snoochie bitchs...pieces. | | Sunday, April 10th, 2005 | | 3:41 am |
fandangled
today was fucking sweet! sledding with crisco!...you know damn right bitches I'm that crazy. RISK the game pwns all of you! talked to jamie it sounds good I'll let you know I'm in a retarded good mood. snoochie boochies | | Monday, April 4th, 2005 | | 8:12 am |
Head full of acid , half tank of gas,let this motherfucker roll.
I'm done with the drugs. I will have a few beers...I may toke a bowl...but nothing in excess...that is done...I'm done with it...period. 3 little pieces of paper had my name on them...nothing bad happened...it was pleasant...but it got me thinking...why? I couldn't answer. However, the why not is easy....it offers nothing...at all...there is nothing deeper then simply being alive...there is no need to praise the clouded mind...and frankly I'm very much tired of it...and I'd tired of the friends that are wasting thier lives on it. Look kids...drugs were fun, and daring, and new, and dangerous....I had some great times on them...but in the long run drugs are a drag...they are fleeting and stupid...and get in the way of what I should be doing with my life. The experience is stale and done for. ---------------------------------------- ----- She says, daddy used to hit the smell of cheap perfume stale cigarettes the discheveled shell of a woman nails cracked, face a sickly pallor I pour her another drink all fists are made to hit, I say some just land softer blows she pours it back | | Tuesday, March 29th, 2005 | | 12:57 am |
I'm a genius, ask my publicist!
"In 2004, avian flu infected at least 44 people in eight south Asian countries, killing 32. Until the late 1990s, it had not been thought that the virus strain - H5N1 - could spread to humans." bbc new Jan 28th 2005 food for thought Now don’t assume I’m some sorta crazy end of the world fanatic or anything. I have been reading about eh black plague and it has the gears in my head turning. Imagine if you will, a world were a super flu is running rampant; statistically one in three people are going to die. Imagine a world were the disease’s progression is rapid and frightening. Imagine no social infrastructure, no police left, no electricity, not cable TV, no city water, maybe an Army in martial law until they start to die off. America contain nearly 300 million recorded souls could you fathom if in the span of 2-3 year 100 million just dropped dead? Bodies would over flow into the street, chaos would rule. Running away from the city center would do nothing but spread it further and faster. I talk about this not because it’s grim or because it just fascinates but because it has happened before. 25 million people died in Europe alone. In 4 years from a simple blood born illness from fleas. Now I know our medical field is by far more advanced now, but that if we know what we are dealing with. I got onto this whole because of one thing, avian flu. This is scary shit, without a doubt and it could become a real problem. We can’t even stop its spread in the bird population or even study it fast enough. There have been a few remote human cases but the mutation is not wide spread…yet. A few years ago the disease would not even spread to humans, now it can. In its current stage it cannot be spread human to human. Then again that’s the bitch about disease it’s always growing, always changing. So if or when it does, will we be ready? Can we ever be ready for that? What would you do if a fast spreading flu smashed through the world so fast that the response time for containment was passed? What would you do if everyone you knew and loved were rushing headlong to painful and gruesome death? One in three, a good chance you’d die and just about everyone you’d know. So that’s the scenario…extreme chaos and rampant death….these would be your last days. So what would you do..i mean might as well make it count…your probably going to die. Would spend it with your family, your lover, rob bank, sky dive, run off to the mountains, pillage, finely tell your crush how you felt, light fire, pray to god, lose your faith, go nuts, have sex, smoke crack, write poem, etc.? This is your last days what would make sure to do? | | Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005 | | 1:13 am |
For you, good night
Grandfather They say he passed calmly Like drift wood around the hull 6 year’s old, summer breeze His weathered yellow skin Like that of the boat They say he went quietly Like our time out there Cass river days, sunshine Juicy fruit, am radio We’ll always have that So that my eulogy, stoic and simple, it fits him. These past few days have been odd. The perceived drama faded away into nothingness. In fact the whole family just worked, in ways I never would have believed. We lived a lifetime of missed good days in this past week, we lived a lifetime without regrets. It was perfect, surreal, and enjoyable. That was our lifetime, a few precious days celebrating the passing of his. Like a family, like we understood, like we didn’t hate. If I learned one thing out of this, it’s that callousness has gotten us nowhere; it’s that politics, money, religion, and bickering have driven a wedge deep within my family. It has more importantly taught me, “Froggy” (though a man of faults) had a stoicism and calmness that just soaked it all up, and for that we could all take example. My grandfather would not complain regardless of the hands dealt, he’s just give that little half smile and roll on. Something most of family had forgotten. I was never that close to him, he was dieing most of my life. I was never the hunter, the fisher, and was too late to be the tinker’er that he was. I was the odd grandson; I never knew what my grandfather thought of me. Then again I don’t think any of us really did, he was not a man of words. He was Hemmingway with out the rage, he was calm, he was patient, he was my only grandfather, and he will be missed. Arold Grice 3-12-05 See you in frog hollow | | Tuesday, March 15th, 2005 | | 4:28 am |
Make what you will of string, leaves, and coal.
Life is fubar....lets update, shall we? My grandfather dies, my uncle wants to exclude me from being a pallbearer...how nice...huge family drama. My dad is getting drunk(drinking alot now)...never in my life have I seen this before. My parents are blinbdly lashing out at one another for seemingly inane retarded things. My home is filled with trash..and is god damn unlivable. I'm still a stupid townie..but at least I'm going to college(slowly) I am going to look for apartments after I get my taxes back. I am going to not cuase a scene at my grandfather funeral. Wayne is home, it is good, he will be gone to soon. Ian is homeless, and reltivly prospectless given his truck payment and job shittiness. I want a ciggerette, and I hate myself for that. DURP timing..lol I need a revolution. I need more ammunition for my Fun machine. -castro | | Saturday, February 26th, 2005 | | 4:03 am |
Socrates was a prick....
The speed of sound is roughly 1088 feet per second. The speed at which we process those words, laughs, cries, groans, and moans is infinitely quicker. The speed of thought in the passive sense, comprehension so to speak. The speed at which we accept those words, ideas, and philosophies differs. It is slow process one without measure or quantifiable nature. Philosophy is the path to explain the feeling of emptiness within man’s existence, his moral groundwork. Pseudo-science/ pseudo religion, at its core unaffirmable idea’s vying for space on the black board of history. Philosophy has been spoken from the lips of saints, killers, madmen, kings, teachers, businessmen, and hobos. A giant pulsating homogeneous mass of social thinktankism, pushing its way into all interactionary aspects of life. I am done with it. Fuck the moral compass, I’m going by starlight from here on out. My problems stems from the fact that all philosophy, at least to me, becomes a hapless fit of linguistics in the debate or defining exactly what a term “means”. It’s highfalutin passages offer little more then intellectual masturbation. Laying ground work for circular logic and useless unending bickering. Don’t get me wrong I’m not nearly simple enough to take sides with the post modernist, nihilist idea that nothing is important. Far from it, to do so would be down right unacceptable to who I am as a person. However the idea of philosophy itself of moral framework is as useless as it is ridiculous. A dinosaur loose on the streets of New York, cutting your grass with an electric shaver. Religion, philosophy, politics, tribalism, all of these have vied for space at the top of our garbage heap for the last 10 thousand years. Leaving in there wake both empowerment and destruction. I’m be wrong if I called any of these objects bad or made a judgment call on them as they have effected far more then the scope of my tiny brain is able to understand. I will however stand by my new resolution in thought, they are all not wrong. Within any thought, deed, god, prayer, word, or sound there is somewhere a redeeming quality even if it’s beyond me to see it. I propose to become whole objective, as much as I can, not hippism, not libertarianism, not anarchy, but something that lies between all of those ideas. Hedonistic realism, the moral compass is unimportant, the ultimate goal for having smooth functioning social interaction is seeking what is pleasurable (writhen boundaries of harm) and not impeding what is pleasurable to others(within boundaries of harm). Happy people work better, they act better, they are less likely honestly to be assholes. This isn’t utopianistic, it’s far to simple for that, it’s just a byline, one small simple idea in black and white. Just don’t step on other peoples shit, and do what you want to do, not because it’s what cool or it’s what’s “right” or because it’s what your parents would want. Do it because if you didn’t you couldn’t sleep at night, doing because if you don’t you may explode, do because you don’t have any other choice. It’s that simple to point but I don’t purpose this as a end all be all philosophy. In fact it’s the opposite of all that. Just do what you want within the boundaries of the greater good, happiness and mutual respect of other happiness. So if you wanna sing and dance do it! If you want to jump around do it! If you wanna hug a tree do it! If you wanna write poem do it! I know I’m being simplistic but it’s really just a simple idea. If I refined it anymore it would become nothing more then what I’m so trying to rail against. So I could be wrong, hell I probably am wrong. Maybe all those circular conversations I’ve had on all those schools of thought have embittered me to the idea of a moral framework and philosophical thought. Maybe you modernists are right that things do have intrinsic value and worth. “Isn’t it pretty to think so?” | | Saturday, January 22nd, 2005 | | 8:26 pm |
snow everywhere...it's the man keeping me down.
i have nothing better to do..... OUR FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL [What year was it?] 1999-2000 [What were your three favorite bands?] Atari Teenage riot, NIN, nofx [What was your favorite outfit?] big baggy raver pants, stupid black tee shirts [What was up with your hair?] short dyed black gelled [Who was your best friend?] Ian rahn maybe [What did you do after school?] computer games, listened to music [Where did you work?] i didn't [Did you take the bus?] bus to school...bergman home....lol [Who did you have a crush on?] jenny graham, um....beckah...a few others [Did you fight with your parents?] yes [Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on?] jesus [Did you smoke cigarettes?] no, I was drug free. oh, how times have changed [Did you lug all of your books around in your backpack all day because you were too nervous to find your locker?] lockers were lame and way away from any of my classes [Did you have a 'clique'?] i'm not sure, we had a huge ass group of friends and within that group were sub groups. we had cliques inside of cliques. [Did you have a "Max" like Zach Kelly and Slater?] i guess jennie's place became the Max [Admit it, were you popular?] no...not really though we had alot of friends [Who did you want to be just like?] prob anthony at that time [What did you want to be when you grew up?] i didn't really havea clue i thought hsitory teacher [Where did you think you would be at the age you are now?] not anything like it is now...really...it's kidna depressing...but at the same time alot mroe realistic.. weird shit | | Sunday, January 16th, 2005 | | 5:27 pm |
I cannot speak and my leg fell off into the kiddie pool...
weird weekend....quite sick....started feeling better....hung out with good caro kids....went to kzoo last night to eeat and steak and shake just to come back...lol...it was dumb....but alas its been awhile since i just packed up and did something dumb. not much going on here really...still kidna feel sick..work is calling very soon. i need to go get some food. |
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