Well, I'm now running from KUbuntu. My old Fedora8 is, "up above the attic," in a partition I use for backups of old distros. KUbuntu's now on my default set of partitions. I'm even using my actual directory in "/home", instead of a copy. (I did the latter to prevent my experimentation from hosing my configs. Not a good thing to do in the middle of a job hunt.) I even have Boinc running again.

The only things I don't have working here yet like they were on Fedora are syslog-ng, special keys, Privoxy, and Akonadi. (K)Ubuntu's default syslog-ng settings are very, very close to my customizations, though. The Microsoft Natural Egro Keyboard 4000 works, except for the 5 "favorites" keys, which aren't bound under XOrg. Privoxy's crashing on startup, for some reason. I have to restart it in "/etc/rc.local" right now.

The last bit, Akonadi, is a KDE4 daemon that fires up because I use KMail to read HTML-formatted email, and to retrieve email from one account. I use mutt for all of my "usual" email, however. I'm sure that it's an incompatibility problem between the KDE3 packages custom-ported to KUbuntu 9.04 and Akonadi. Eh, I'll fix it eventually.

Current Mood: geeky

This post's fairly geeky.


Although there's a repository containing KDE3 packages for KUbuntu Jaunty Jackalope (v9.04), I couldn't get sound working. Well, I wants mah sounds!

It took a bit of googling and experimenting, but I finally got it to work:

• If you removed Pulseaudio, reinstall it. You do want it.
• Bypass artsd Completely:
  • In the "Sound System" control panel, disable "Enable the sound system".
  • In "System Bell" deselect "Use system bell".
  • In "System Notifications", click "Player Settings,"
    • Select "Use an external player"
    • Either /usr/bin/aplayor /usr/bin/paplay will work.
• In Amarok, under "Settings"→"Configure Amarok" → "Engine", change the "Output plugin" to "Pusleaudio", especially if you're using the xine engine.
• Most other sound/multimedia apps in KUbuntu v9.04 use Pulseaudio by default, so you won't need to customize them.
• To get audio in Flash working, do this from a terminal:

      sudo apt-get install libasound2-plugins padevchooser \
           libsdl1.2debian-pulseaudio
      sudo apt-get remove –purge libflashsupport \
          flashplugin-nonfree-extrasound

  See this page for more info.

Current Mood: geeky

As I said in my previous post, one of the criteria I have for my new Linux distro is, "Don't break my current setup."

I use a customized KDE. Unforunately, the latest and "greatest" version, KDE4, is a major change. Very Major. So major, that it's not compatible in the slightest, in any way, shape or form, with the last good version, v3.5.10. You actually lose functionality if you "upgrade" to KDE v4.2.

Problem is, most distros out there "upgraded" about a year ago and completely threw away v3.5. openSuSE did not.


That's one thing good going for them. My first annoyance with them is that they use Yet Another one-stop-install tool, a tool used by nobody else but themselves.

( Reinventing the Wheel Rant )

My second annoyance with openSuSE is political. openSuSE is a community-driven version of SuSE, GMBH's Linux distro. SuSE was the German company that sold Linux distros, and has been around as long as RedHat. I say, "was," because Novell bought them. And Novell signed a rather odious agreement with Microsoft, an agreement that amounts to a protection racket. (In short: Novell pays Microsoft, and Microsoft promises not to sue Novell for "proprietary things" that are supposedly "in Linux." Microsoft keeps making these vague claims, over and over again, but never offers proof.)

The third annoyance is their sound server. They're using PulseAudio, which kinda works with KDE 3.5, sort of. It plays back most of the sounds (startup/shutdown/beeps/etc.), but truncates the end.

The last annoyance is one that I've figured out how to fix: The fonts in YaST2, specifically, in the software-installation module is tiny. Unreadably tiny for my 40-year-old, nearsighted eyes.

Most of the suggestions that I found online didn't work. This one did:

1. Log in (and start up KDE/GNOME/whatever, if you don't have graphical boot enabled).
2. Open up a terminal.
3. su root -c qtconfig
4. Change the font to something large enough to read.


5. Run YaST2 and fire up the software-installation module to make sure they're big enough.

Current Mood: geeky

Well, after 10+ years of using RedHat and then Fedora as my Linux distribution, I've decided to switch.

( A Linux-Specific Rant  )


My sense, 10 years ago, was that Linux distros were mostly the same, though one or two might work better with strange hardware than others. My sense, now, is that Linux distros are like web browsers: they all suck, just in different ways.

This is why I'm using a version of Fedora (v8) released 2 years ago and no longer supported.

So, my criteria for switching is simple. I have a customized Linux with a customized KDE v3.5. My new distro should break as little of my setup as feasible, while fixing problems I've been having since getting a new computer with a Core-2 Duo.


So, for today's suckage: KUbuntu v9.04, 64-bit

( Behold the KUbuntu Suckage (v9.04, amd64)! )

Current Mood: geeky

So, back during my first semester in grad school, I saw a claymation version of Little Red Riding Hood made in the then-recently-dissolved Soviet Union. The Big Bad Wolf was clearly a metaphor for The Party. With the wolf's defeat at the end, I figured that it had been recently made. This was in Autumn, 1991.

There was one scene in the film, where the claymation-Red Riding Hood arrived at grandma's house. The wolf has been devouring various famous animated characters from both Soviet & U.S. children's films, (along with most of the Eastern Bloc). So the wolf is rather inflated by this point. On entering, at the sight of the super-bloated wolf, she exclaims in utter shock, "Babooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooshka!"

The entire theater that I was in howled with laughter at that scene.

Well, I found it last night.

The film's name is Серый волк энд Красная Шапочка: "Seryy Volk and Krasnaya Shapochka", from 1990. So it was made in the Soviet Union.
(Cool language point: "энд" is not the Russian word for "and"; it's the English word "and" transliterated into Cyrillic.)


I couldn't find a version with subtitles, so you'll have to deal with the Russian-only $dialogue:

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3

Current Mood: laughing

So, my loopy mother has got it into her head that I have Aspergers.

No. I have a unipolar mood disorder (a.k.a. "depression").

This isn't the first time my mom has concocted a hairbrained theory about me. They're hairbrained — and wrong — because of 3 central features of me & my life: (1) I'm highly intelligent and always thinking (always have been); (2) I was tormented mercilessly and constantly as a child (starting as young as 4); (3) I've been battling a unipolar mood disorder since at least age 7.

Top it all of with how my mother gets Some Loopy (and False) Idea forever lodged into her head, never to be removed by any facts, no matter how blatantly-obvious. So, now I'm stuck, for the rest of my life, with her insisting that I have Aspergers.

But that's not the most horrid thing. Nor is the total lack of understanding from my own mother. It's the way this Latest Hairbrained Loopy Idea undermines me, denies a battle that I still have to fight, daily.


I'm on an antidepressant, so my illness doesn't get out of control anymore. Nevertheless, I don't have the "margin of error" that others have. I cannot abuse myself, physically or mentally, to the same magnitude as others. I have to watch my health, or I'll start to "tatter at the edges."

And what does, "tattering at the edges," mean? My sense of self-worth falters. I see most minor mishaps as a sign that I'm doomed, or that the world is doomed, that something worse (as in major life tragedies) will happen. Things that once made me happy don't really help, or only help temporarily. I lose interests in hobbies or withdraw from them. I start blaming myself for things that I only have a minor causal relation to. I feel hopeless, but can't put my finger on why. I start to feel like I don't deserve to draw breath, that my existence has no point. Hmm, now that I look at it, it strikes me as a muted or low-level version of one of my full depressive episodes.

Oh, and another thing that happens: the self-destructive urges come back.

The best example of my self-destructive urges come from working with power-equipment. I'd have to fight urges around saws … band-saws, table-saws, circular saws … to stick my hand in. Also with lawnmower blades, but not to quite the same extent. I used to think that this was normal. I only learned, much later, that normal people fear getting their hands too close.


When I start to, "tatter at the edges," I usually withdraw from other people. Sometimes, I'm not aware that I'm doing so. Mostly, it's because I don't want to worry friends and family that I'm not doing so well. There's not much they (or I) can do in the short term to fix my poor-mental-health. So, why upset them?


I guess that last bit is what also has me mad at my mom: I shield her from my bouts, and she goes and pulls this?!?! Ugh!


(BTW – I had something of a relapse in late-07, with my unipolar mood disorder coming out of remission. I've been struggling with the after-effects since then. Various major life events haven't helped me any. (Feh!) And most recently, losing our eldest cat, Ian, and losing my job hasn't helped. Indeed, the latter, leaving me stuck at home, reinforces the former. I'm also feeling a loss of direction. And people making wishful, pie-in-the-sky suggestions of what I should do next only make me feel MORE defeated while simultaneously muddying any sense of direction.)

Current Mood: depressed

From, "A Mathematicians Lament":

SIMPLICIO: So you would remove mathematics from the school curriculum?

SALVIATI: The mathematics has already been removed! The only question is what to do with the vapid, hollow shell that remains. Of course I would prefer to replace it with an active and joyful engagement with mathematical ideas.

maskedretriever

Current Mood: intellectual

Ian had a special marking, too.

Ian's coat was white with tabby areas, which were mainly on his head & back. On his left shoulder was a perfectly circular tabby area. The tabby pattern contained 2 dots, side by side, with an arc underneath. Yes — he had a smiley-face on his shoulder. And, yes, the smiley-face fit: he was a HappyCat. Always friendly. Always purring. He purred right up to the end.


I'm glad he's not suffering anymore, but I miss the lil' guy! ;_;

Current Mood: sad

Subject says it all. I was laid off today.

I don't think that my now-former-employer is going to survive, anyhow.


I'm okay with being laid off. I'm not okay with the job-instability I've experienced over the past 10 years. And I'm nervous about finances. But I'm okay with losing this job. Since, now, I can hope for something better.

Current Mood: nervous

Our eldest cat, Ian, died today, just 15 minutes ago. He was 15-16 years old.

He was ready. His heart stopped immediately after they injected the overdose of anesthesia.

I think … I think that Ian held on so long for epinoid. May not be true, but it's pretty to think so.

Please direct any comments to epinoid's journal.

Current Mood: grieving

Ian, our 15+ year old (we don't really know exactly) cat, is not responding to treatment. We are going to have to euthanize him sometime today, to spare him any suffering.

epinoid is in a lot of pain. Ian has been an integral part of his life for 15 years, 1/3 of his life.

And me? It's agonizing seeing the love of my life in so much pain, and knowing there's not a farging thing I can do to alieviate that pain. And Ian was a part of my life for a decade, (1/4 of mine). I'm emotionally, "holding it together," according to this society's farged-up codes-of-conduct. Physically, I'm not well. I have insomnia. I've been nauseous since I woke up Monday. I've been dizzy. And of course, I can't focus on anything worth shit.

Right now, the most important thing to me is being there for epinoid.

Current Mood: crushed

epinoid's cat, Ian, is suffering kidney failure..

Ian's been suffering from a condition known as, "megacolon," since 2005. This causes him to periodically become blocked up. The last blockage was a month ago. I had hoped that would be it for at least 6 months, if not more than a year.

When we arrived home yesterday, from a day of hiking and a nice dinner, we found barf all over. Ian again. epinoid and I talk about taking Ian to the vet today, first thing. When I scooped the litter boxes this morning, I noticed that it didn't seem like the cats had urinated all that much in the past 24 hours. But I chalked it up to Ian being blocked, and therefore not eating or drinking much. So, I went to work, after epinoid said that he'd take care of the vet visit.

I received a phone call around 1pm today from epinoid. In Tears.

Ian is on a fluid IV-drip. The hope is that the fluids reduce the levels of waste-products in his bloodstream, enough to get him eating again. (When the vet tried to feed him today, Ian just vomited.) Even if he does start eating again and comes home, Ian will last only a few weeks or months. ;_;

Ian is epinoid's first pet as an adult, and the first pet he's had since his beloved German Shepherd, Erik, died. We've had Ian for 14 years.

If you have anything to say, please comment in epinoid's journal..

Current Mood: sad

As noted here, The Media's rather dishonest when it comes to numbers.

They'll rattle off 1 billion and 5 million in the same breath, never pointing out that there's a factor of 1000 difference between the two:

1,000 million == 1 billion
    5 million

Current Mood: thoughtful

So, it appears that the President of Jacksonville State University plagiarized his dissertation for a doctorate of education.

That just frosts me.

I bust my ass on a PhD in Physics, doing novel work and maybe, just perhaps, providing the first derivation of a full local (infinitessimal) Lyapunov exponent spectrum. (I don't know for a fact that I'm the first. I couldn't find any earlier work that demonstrated anything but the largest infinitessimal Lyapunov exponent. But, it wasn't something that my advisor thought would make a good paper, so it remains tucked away into my dissertation.) I have to leave my dream of becoming a professor at a teaching college, in part, because there are too few positions and far too many PhD physicists.

This twat got his doctorate of education, around the same time as I got my PhD in Physics. He copied someone else's dissertation … in "research" about sabbaticals. And this shitstain's now president of a university.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?!?!?!?

Current Mood: bitter

…at least when it comes to prisoner"detainee" tortureinterrogation.

I found it (where else) in a BoingBoing post with rather confused comments. The original article alerts us to a bill, sponsored by Sen Linsey Graham(R) and that wonderful progressive, Sen. Joe Lieberman (R)(I). The bill allows the Defense Secretary to ignore the Freedom of Information Act, retroactively and indefinitely, when it comes to photos of abuse in Gitmo, Bagrham, Abu Garib, etc. …

The bill is actively supported by the White House.

Meaning: Obama supports yet another one of the Bush Administration's unconstitutional policies and presidental power grabs.

From the original article:

What kind of a country passes a law that has no purpose other than to empower its leader to suppress evidence of the torture it inflicted on people? Read the language of the bill; it doesn't even hide the fact that its only objective is to empower the President to conceal evidence of war crimes.

Current Mood: doomed

So, last week, I stayed late at work. Really late.

But I didn't report the incident. And I haven't said anything to him. After all, he technically wasn't in the office, and HR would probably just label me a, "complainer." So I'm trying to pretend it never happened.

But I won't report this. I'll just quietly ask one of the sysadmins that I know here to get rid of it. Even if I did mention it, I'll be told that I'm just, "a complainer," that I'm being, "oversensitive."

It's just so lovely to find out what your coworkers really think of you behind your back. Makes coming to the office Just. Sooooo. Enjoyable.

Current Mood: depressed

Broadband w/o Internet is Worthless is an interesting blog post. It muses on what things would look like today if the phone or cable companies had designed, "data transportation."

Now, I'm not gonna repeat what's in that blog. You can read it for yourself. I'm going to muse on it.

Do you know how the phone system works? I mean the old landline here. What happens when you pick up that phone and dial a number? How is the signal that leaves your phone sent? What happens to it along the way?

I certainly don't know.

But I do know what happened to this blog entry once I clicked, "Post," in my browser. I know how it got to LiveJournal, and roughly what happened to it when it arrived.

In fact, I know how all data travels over the Internet. And, so could you, if you wanted. It's all available - just google, "RFC." (Now, I can't guarantee that you'll be able to understand the RFCs. But you can get them.)


Something to bear in mind: the Internet treats all data like shipping companies treat freight. The Web, Skype, Email, Bittorrent … to the Internet, these are all like different kinds of freight (TVs vs. refrigerators vs. sofas). Just as shipping companies usually charge by weight, ISPs charge by bandwidth, how much data you're sending.

That's Net-Neutrality.

(Unlike shipping, there's nothing in the Internet's design that allows it to "charge" for different destinations. That was by design, since the only thing it costs to send that data 10 miles or 1000 miles is time. The equipment's on, sucking down electricity, either way. So the analogy breaks down a bit here.)

Now, imagine if shipping companies charged you more for a frieght container with 1200lbs of flatscreen HDTVs than they did for 1200lbs of old analog CRT TVs. To make sure that you're paying them, the shipping companies will just open up the frieght container and all of the boxes inside to check.

This is what the cable and phone companies want to do to the Internet.

We already pay to receive (and send) data over our ISPs. If we want to receive more (higher bandwidth), we pay more. The cable & phone companies, who are now the only ISPs around, want us to pay twice: once for actually sending the data, and then a second time for what's inside, for how much that data's worth to you. Make no mistake: you're not getting any, "extra quality." The Internet as it's designed guarantees that you'll get your data. And, as I said, you already pay the cable & phone companies to send the data. They want you to pay them extra for, effectively, not holding certain kinds of data hostage.

To do that, they'll have to, "peek inside the containers." At best, this will slow down the current Internet hardware. Potentially worse, it means hijacking the Internet's very design and twisting it to suit the greed of a few people.


That's why Net-Neutrality is ultimately so important. To eliminate it, you have to break the Internet.

Current Mood: geeky

Dammit! I can't even beat myself up and play the martyr without the Universe beating me over the head!

The riding lawnmower wouldn't start. Wouldn't even turn over.

Well, I have jumper cables, and a car. So, I figure, I'll start it, make sure not to shut it off when adding more gas, and mow until I have no gas left, even in the spare-container.

The riding mower would turn over, but refused to start, at all.


Great. Just Great. Not only is the lawnmower battery dead, but the mower itself is dead.


I give up. I'm running away for a bit.

Current Mood: frustrated

…I'm not allowed to relax. If I try to take a moment of relaxation for myself, Something Bad will happen.

No more doing anything relaxing. Nope. Not for me. Got the message. Loud & Clear.


But did the message really have to be delivered by a poop-smear on the bed?


Well, gotta get back to washing the duvet cover and putting on a new one. Guess Ian can't be let into the bedroom. Guess I'm gonna have to wash his hind quarters again tomorrow morning. Guess I'm gonna have to wipe him every time he leaves the litter box tomorrow, too.

Current Mood: doomed

So, after making my quick post yesterday, I went upstairs, grabbed the bills (one of which is late) & checkbooks, and started doing my bill-paying routine.

Just as I begin, the power goes out.

( More Misadventures after the Cut )

So, I'm not going anywhere or getting any relaxation this weekend, as I hoped.

Current Mood: fried