Jeeze its 4:16am.. and i am still up, i think i'll be up for a few more hours. Why can't i sleep? damnit. i hate myself for that. i need my rest, and i never seem to get it. for a few weeks now, i havn't been sleeping. and if i do, it's around 4,5,6 or 7am. i hate it.
well, it's not fair, it's not even close. you tied me down, where i'm forced to watch as you poke holes in every part of me containing something secretly. something sacred to me. i lied my face off when i said that i would be okay. it's never fine when you go away. these cuts run deep. these scars are permanent and always on display. this makes things difficult for me. it's not fair, it's not even close. you fed me the sun. burned me up inside and watched me choke on everything we did. on everything we lived. let's see if i can live again. i lied my face off when i said that i would be okay. it's never fine when you go away. these cuts run deep. these scars are permanent and always on display. this makes things difficult for me. head like an empty, sterile room. somehow i made a mess. like watching newborn babies crack from work related stress. head like an empty sterile room. somehow i made a mess. like watching newborn babies crack from work related stress. i'm bad luck, can't fuck. got no reflection today. maybe i'll stay down next time i get hit by a train. by a train. i lied my face off when i said that i would be okay. it's never fine when you go away.
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_byebeautifuck's journal
calm
