I'm Falling [ Posted on August 28, 2008 @ 11:16 pm ] weloism [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Radiohead - Faust Arp ] I've been up since 6 in the morning today finalizing plans, coordinating with friends and updating my calendar. I wonder what fall is going to show me. What a 2008 it has been! Every season presented something different to focus on:      Winter taught me how to share an intimate part of myself with another person.      Spring presented challenges for me to find and be my true self.      Summer fueled me to thrive and dedicate myself to my work and my passion. Fall? Is that you? I am whooping with excitement. Social Suicide month is almost over and done with. What better way could I end the most workaholic month of my year but by being out of town! Hello, Vancouver and Seattle!I took Friday off and Monday's a holiday (Labor Day).  My employers are seriously the nicest and best people ever. Thank God! This weekend's going to be a time for Welo to relax. Time to take a break from the busy world and spend time with family and myself. Two entities I would like to take time out and focus on some more. Sit down, enjoy the scenery and relax. Sounds awesome. Comment

TUMMAE!!! [ Posted on August 28, 2008 @ 2:43 pm ] tsheeno cmon you MEN out there! are you the type of guy who, when your girl introduces her guy friends r exes to you, first looks at the guy and thinks, "can i take this guy on? i think i can take this guy on." or maybe your boss/teacher/parent/some asshole authority figure talks down to you, and you mutter under your breath "i oughta knock your teeth in fatass!" or you get pissed at your friends when their making fun of you has gone too far, and you just smile along while imagining punching them in the face. or you see this loudmouth elitis coño fucker who just is full of bullshit and you're like tangina sarap sapakin tong kumag na toh ah but when he's right there in your face you don't say nothing. don't you wanna just throw your fists at something?? you can! JOIN TUMMAE n kick some ass! TUMMAE was mentioned before. the name itself, Topher's Ultimate Mixed Martial Arts Experience, was cooked up by ira villar. how he was able to make something like that up is beyond me. TUMMAE. hahahaha. back story. TUMMAE is an idea evolved from TBX, which is Topher Boxing Xperience. it was this thing we did in high school. one day toph brought 2 pairs of boxing gloves. then during recess/lunch we'd closed the doors and set up some sort of tournament haha. oh shet i remember even then my arm pseudo-popped out of its socket. haha. i think this was in second year high school, n our room was at the end of the corridor so we never got caught. the fights... good times haha. may pikunan at may patawa rin. so ace n i would talk about TUMMAE once in awhile n i think it's a pretty good idea. initially i thought it'd be like fight club haha. just have two people try to beat each other up haha. with MMA gloves of course. ace wants it to be actually MMA training though, he's teach basic MMA and i'd do the mitts in boxing. ummm, not sure if im qualified to teach people just cos i know a wee bit more than the average person. so now im thinking it's gonna be pseudo-training with sparring to end it haha. that'd be fun. the reason im posting this though, is cos im thinking, would anyone actually wanna join. aside from ace n i, who else? topher, enz maybe, lou maybe... the thing is, the guys im thinking of who wouldve jumped at a chance to test themselves in fights years ago are probably a bit pussified now. anthony wouldve loved this, but he has braces now, and in med school. rico diaz... pussified by ail. hahahaha! paolo narciso i would love to test myself against. but where the hell is he? hmm, flakes would be a real challenge, with him being 210 freaking pounds. damn, plus, if he's getting beat up he can always shout "SIGMA ROOOO!!!!" n all his frat bros would come to help him. i wish ira were here. if someone knocks me out id like it to be ira. so at least i can say, "it's cos he's a black belt!" hehe. the reason i like the idea is cos i wanna see how i'd actually act in a fight. i mean, i talk about MMA and UFC and traing and all that, even right now i am, n i actually wanna see if all this talk comes from a guy who can actually fight haha. i dont wanna be the couch potato sports fan who's fat and is all nerdy about facts and statistics but cant actually play the sport you know? hehe. i mean, yeah i sparred, but it's different. i fought with ace pseudo-MMA style before and i thought i held up pretty well, i dont remember getting hit at all, but we were both drunk haha. i wanna test myself!!! of course, i'm still in rehab. im gonna ask my therapist tomorrow if i can already do some light training again in boxing. cos im getting antsy already.. i downloaded the theme song to the ultimate fighter, which when i hear it everytime it's on tv amps me up. but when i listen to the lyrics it just sounds stupid. there's a line that goes "bear witness to the fitness of the modern warrior!" hahahaha wataline. "wow, brock lesnar is really fast for a big muscular guy. he has lots of cardio and is damn explosive and strong." i, therefore, bear witness to the fitness of the modern warrior. haha Read (16) Comment

post-yoga energy: somebody popped some crazy pills [ Posted on August 26, 2008 @ 11:01 pm ] weloism [ mood | exponentially planning life ] Impulsive. Spontaneous. Crazy. In other words, di mapakali. I want to get out of this city as often as i can. I really really do. I've worked 12 days straight and both my Saturdays this August. I deserve to enjoy the fruits of my labor! This weekend, my family and I will be going to Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA. Next month, I am praying super hard for a trip waiting to happen. Even if that doesn't push through, I'm really looking forward to spending time with a friend who's visiting me for a few weeks. In October, I've got New York in my pocket and I am going to rock Manhattan's world. November might take me to a random trip to Montana to see one of my closest Portland friends who's studying there right now. December will depend on how my October goes. ....And next thing you know, happy new year, Welo! Wow, Year 2 of Welo's migrant life definitely has been harder, better, faster and stronger. This is amazing! My dad thinks I'm slightly crazy in having to want to travel twice in two months. Wait, make it THRICE. But I need to travel. I need to breathe. I need to do this while I'm young, foolish and full of life. You're only young once, might as well get away with it while you still can. If it's meant to happen, it will all fall into place. praying, praying, praying Comment

HELP FEED THE HUNGRY! [ Posted on August 27, 2008 @ 1:40 pm ] tsheeno tae na! been spending the whole month mostly doing the accounting for my mom's NGO project. n it pisses me off when i see how disorganized it is, then i try to fix it and come up with a more efficient way, but then my mom would rather use a nonsensical way in which we hafta constantly recheck everything everyday every step of the way! woohoo freestyle! its been so disorganized that i felt accomplished when i was able to balance the bank statement with our books haha. "books" as in excel sheets na ginagamit ko para may sense yung project kahit kung ayaw gamitin ng mom ko. anyway, Pinagpalang Kamay Association Inc (PKAI), the NGO of my mom, is having a fundraising project right now. it isnt doing so well. We reserved a whole showing of MULAN by repertory philippines and we're selling tickets right? and it's already showing on Sunday and we're still havent reached the break-even point. granted it'll be ok once we collect all our accounts receivable but that isnt a sure shot at all. so hey, if any of you wanna watch MULAN in Greenbelt 1, Onstage Theater on August 31, 2:30pm, lemme know. maybe you and your family could watch (topher may pamilya na supposedly haha)? or you know someone who's a sucker for stage plays (mickey lu if i follow the stereotype of gays liking plays)? or you have a perverted thing for adolescent chinese female cross-dressing warriors (ace chin)? whichever hehe, lemme know, my number is 09159074069. i normally dont do this, but hey, for charity right? oh yeah, the money goes to: Lourdes Feeding Program - a feeding program in Payatas that provides food for 75+ malnourished in Payatas, as well as providing education to some of them. Cottolengo Filipino, Bahay ng may Kapansanan - we provide food for 45+ kids who are mentally disabled and sadly look like paolo narciso. except better-looking. Livelihood program - we try to teach the parents of the kids above on how to handle their own businesses and stuff like that. -joe Comment

[ Posted on August 27, 2008 @ 8:53 am ] tsheeno ang hot ng mga japanese AV models haha. they're porn stars would be S-class citizens if they stayed here! why are they so hot! if i had a top 10 hottest/prettiest/cutest basta overall good-lookingness list, malamang they're be at least 3 japanese AV models there that i cant even name haha. sad Comment

THIS WEATHER SUCKS BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Posted on August 26, 2008 @ 10:23 pm ] w_llflower [ mood | sick ] [ music | strangers by the kinks ] And now I'm sick, just like everyone else. At the worst time to be sick pa!! And you know what's weird?? Today, I rested a lot. Like I KNEW I was gonna get sick so I stayed in, rested, took shitloads of medicine -- AND WHEN I WOKE UP FROM MY NAP, I was so drowsy and I didn't have a voice. What's up with that?? Why oh why?? I don't want to get sick!!! I can't be sick!!! Whyyy!!! I bet everyone's sick too. This weather sucks balls!!! Oh clouds, please decide whether you want to be rainy or sunny na kasi. Ok lang naman if you want to be rainy. Just stay that way. In other, not really more pleasant aspects of life, I really miss my friends! I miss knowing I'd see them again in school, or at least on weekends. Weekends, what weekends? My "weekends" are Tuesdays and Wednesdays now... When everyone else is too lazy to go out! Hahaha! Hay oh well. I didn't get to go on the Tagaytay trip again! Booo! Hayy....And I miss Mels super! To think she lives right there lang... Read (2) Comment

WTF HAHAHAHAHAHA so not bagay to my life.... [ Posted on August 26, 2008 @ 12:17 am ] w_llflower Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test... Kevin Smith Kevin will take your slacker life and turn it into the cult classic it deserves to be --- like Mallrats (just kidding). If you can handle the menacing presence of Jay and Silent Bob all throughout your film, then Kevin is willing to oblige. Basically, he can take the lives of people who don't have much of a life and make it entertaining, so you're in good hands. Go watch your copy of Clerks, now. Take The Director Who Films Your Life Test at HelloQuizzy Comment

Kung alam mo lang... [ Posted on August 24, 2008 @ 8:08 am ] weloism [ mood | trying to figure it out. ] Ngayong nahuhulog yung loob ko sa yo, natatakot ako na di mo ito masasalo..at masasaktan lang nanaman ako. Hay, buhay. Comment

More blogging about feelings. Whaddup. [ Posted on August 22, 2008 @ 2:49 pm ] gyebbie I came across a Dixie Chicks song the other day (proof that country music finally got to me), and I actually related to it. (I know. This is what my life has come to.) And although it was a song intended for George Bush and all the haters -- man, I felt it. I felt it when she said she was mad as hell and wasn't ready to make nice. I felt it when she said, "They say time heals everything but I'm still waiting." And it sucks. This whole thing sucks. The past few months, I've been taking care of myself. Recovering. Getting back a lot of the things I was way too hasty to give away, and giving proper down time to the people who've always been there. Opportunities have come up in ways and measures that I never would've expected, and in all honesty, things have been pretty fan-freaking-tastic. And maybe that's it. Maybe it's that everything is going so well that this sour patch in my life is glaring back at me. It feels like a divorce; like the mother of all break-ups. It feels like I get custody on weekends, that in the small spaces of time when people aren't loaded with work, I get to have a meal and a laugh and an hour or two of chika with people I love. Otherwise, we drown in I miss yous and strained online messages. Because while I don't regret any of the decisions I made, I do wish that things were less awkward and weird. I wish my face would stop twitching at the mention of a name, or of a casual kwento that has nothing to do with how and why all this came to be. I wish it didn't feel so permanent. I wish we could get it back. I wish an "I'm sorry" was enough. But it's not always that easy, and it's never quite that simple. People surprise you in the most painful ways. Some of them make decisions that leave you wondering if you ever really knew them at all, and some people just manifest your worst fears about their character. Either way, to trust again is always your gamble. To let go and heal just to let back in is always your own gamble. Then again, I'm getting ahead of myself. We mend first, then we decide. And they say, as the song goes, that time heals everything. Well, I'm waiting. Comment

Spot the Difference [ Posted on August 21, 2008 @ 10:43 pm ] weloism [ mood | curious ] BEFORE                                  AFTER It's not that noticable / big of a change but I love it! Something new, something different and definitely something I've never done before. Let's see if my after-shot will be my money-shot. Hahaha! So, can you spot the difference? Read (9) Comment

Am I being unreasonable? [ Posted on August 19, 2008 @ 9:19 pm ] weloism [ mood | in need of a time out ] I've been working my butt off this whole summer for goals and priorities I choose to keep to myself and I have been sweating tears, energy and time to make it good. In the beginning of Year 2 of Welo's Wacky Life, I did say that I will be harder, better, faster and stronger. For the past two weeks, I've been nailing at least 40 hours at work and I've managed to do 19.9 hours of overtime. Last weekend, I managed to work both Saturday and Sunday and currently have been on a 10 out of 12 day working streak. Yes, August is definitely my social suicide month. I apologize in advance if I haven't replied to emails, texts or messages. Timing lang talaga. I'm sometimes available online and sometimes I just leave my computer on while I pass out on my bed with a tylenol pm in my system. I did warn some of you that I will get busy over the summer. In October, I am flying to New York City to spend 5 days with a number of my Manila friends to celebrate my 22nd birthday. It's going to be memorable, magnificent and magical? hahaha! I AM DEFINITELY EXCITED. I actually bought my ticket last May... I've been needing a break from this place for a long LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. Speaking of a break... For a few weeks now, I have been contemplating about buying a ticket somewhere and just taking a break prior to October. I need it. Away from work, from Portland and from my home life...and so I told my dad that I'm thinking of buying a ticket to LA to spend a weekend with my cousin, Johnny Chuidian. If I take another trip to a beach in Oregon, I'll be spending just about the same (and even more) cause I'd be thinking of lodging and transpo, etc. So I expressed the desire of wanting to travel for a few days in September to my father and he expressed such non-support. GREAT. Why am I not surprised? Seriously, it just makes me want to leave even more. It was like my trip last April... I just NEED a break from EVERYTHING Portland. For just THREE DAYS. AWAY. TO REST. Like how he went to San Francisco for a week early this month to just take a break. It's frustrating how someone cannot understand that I just need to be alone sometimes. And that I need my solitude and peace. My October trip is a time to celebrate. My proposed September trip is to unwind. New York is a hustling bustling city. LA might be busy too, but the beach's right around the corner and I will have time to explore something new and different and just..again. Get AWAY. Am I being unreasonable to just want to psychologically take care of myself? Comment

Appeal for Help | 100,000 Displaced Mindanaoans due to Armed Conflict [ Posted on August 19, 2008 @ 3:45 pm ] nyarmdiddlydum Comment

In choosing LIFE. [ Posted on August 16, 2008 @ 7:57 pm ] weloism [ mood | exhausted, motivated and happy ] What does it mean to live? To laugh hysterically and flash a smile. To not notice time pass by so quickly. To enjoy silence as much as you enjoy music. To get hurt--physically and emotionally--and pick yourself up in the end. To cry because we cannot contain an emotion inside.  To be satisfied that you did your best in something whether you succeed or fail.   To accept loss and disappointments as part of everyday life. To accomplish a goal in order to start on a new one. To move forward no matter what. To do something for another person without having the slightest thought or intent of asking anything in return. To choose to love. I think it was in my high school Morality class or in my college Philosophy class that I realized that when one makes decisions, it is inevitable for one to lose something. We're always so afraid of missing out on other things in life, but we don't realize that it is quite inevitable to say goodbye to what we did not choose. When we choose one path, we have to leave another. We cannot take both paths. We decide on one thing and hope that, if it wasn't the right way, we will learn something from it for us to be prepared for the "better" option. And sometimes, what we really want for ourselves is what scares us the most. Why? Because we're so afraid of messing up. We're terrified to lose, fail and be ridiculed. We're so afraid of not being prepared for what we want. It's heartbreaking to not to be able to achieve the dreams we pursue. It is normal for us to step back for a while and be afraid. We have all these fears, anxieties and insecurities that we carry with us consciously and subconsciously. And frankly, we're not so sure we can take that risk in that aspect...again. I realized today how a decision I made a year and a half ago led me to where I am right now. I chose to leave my comfort zone a little over a year ago to look for something bigger than myself. And guess what? A year and a half ago, I would never have imagined that I would've gone through what I have gone through at 21. The stories I have and still continue to share have just fascinated not only others but myself. WOW. How blessed I have been! The year may not have been the "best" year of my life so far, but it certainly has revealed SO MUCH about myself and my...very very colorful life. So, take the chance. Make a mistake. Choose to live. Choose something. Be afraid but still ACT on it. Cry. Laugh. Fail. Whatever it takes. One day, you will look back at everything and realize that choosing to live for every moment of your life wasn't such a "failure" at all.  Live in moments you cannot put into words.    Read (2) Comment

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