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[Jan. 2nd, 2005|10:44 pm] |
i do funny things sometimes. like not update in forever.
i think i do them subconciously, but at the same time they're things i would have done conciously as well.
funny things happen..when you do things, without really meaning to.
people become closer, people that you never thought would. people that you could never make close to each other before.
people become farther apart, people that you thought would be close forever.
things pull in directions, that maybe you don't want them to, but it's where they were suppose to be.
ever stop to think, about how much..we force? how much isn't natrual, and just exists, because we're there to push it to.
it's amazing when you sit back leave it alone, and see what falls and what doesn't.
what connections you lose, and what ones you make.
i think i've lost so much.
but gained a hell of a lot too.
i regret that i've lost people..that i dearly love. it's not that it's anyones fault but my own. because i am ultimately the one to blame.
but now..after losing so much with them, it feels strange to go back.
after a while it feels like they don't trust you anymore.
you lose the privelage to know everything. you lose the personal side of them.
you speak every now and then, but you talk about nothing. stupid stuff.
when really you mean to tell them..over and over again. i love you.
and i miss you.
so to those who know what i'm saying.
even to those that will never read this.
i love you and i miss you.
and i'm sorry for fucking everything up.
you all deserved so much more.
i just don't think i'll ever be more.
i hope that you all make some wonderful friendships, that last a lifetime and that you are happy. always.
and thanks..for being there as much as you were.
new journal:habitsbreakhard |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 27th, 2004|02:02 am] |
FRIENDS ONLY.
and i don't even have a cool graphic for you to stare at.
anyway..comment to be added. |
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_breakingin_'s journal