A DAY IN THE LIFE.

today was great

2003-07-27T02:24:22Z

i just had a really great day today.
i wish everyday was like this.
:)

society is a rotting corpse being eaten by a stray dog.

2003-07-22T23:35:02Z

art is dead.
if art is the creation of something original, than not only is art dead it never truely existed.
there is nothing that can be learned from the past in art.
ignorance is the mother of originality.
creation must be blind and accidental to be beautiful.
and in order to emulate the reality of life it must be both beautiful and utterly disgusting.
if art if the interperatation of life than anything beautiful cannot be called art.
but people dont want to face the harsh reality that life is not always beautiful. so thus good art is not real art in this sense.
infact art is the whore for the talentless pimp who cannot find alternate means of survival. he calls this his "tallent" and believes that it makes him smarter and better than the world because he pimps something they cant pimp.
it is this ignorance that is bliss for artists, this lack of knowledge that allows them to continue to create.
if ignorance is bliss than artists really do have more fun.
and i envy their lives.

- a random thought.

the evolving of an ignorant young man.

2003-07-22T21:13:33Z

hey i was thinking about deleting all my old entries because i dont like being reminded of my past that much and my negativity really does nothing but leave a bad impression. but i dunno i kinda like to have something to look back on see how ive developed. and i guess i like the fact that i'm progressing. well at least i like to think i'm makeing progress.
anyways lots of little things have happend.
i just wish that something big would happen.
i cant think of anything big enough.
i need to survive an appocolipse, that would be cool.

are you happy what you're doin?

2003-07-21T19:30:12Z

i want to kill work.
i want to quit my life.
i dont want to die
i just dont want to do anything anymore.
unless its benifiting me.
i'm starting to lose the sense of satisfaction that comes with work
i'm starting to feel the way i used to feel
i'm starting to forget why i should be happy
i'm starting to get bored of my existence.
i just i wish i had someone to hold and someone who wants to be held.
i guess i'm just being too unrealistic.
i want an emotional toilet.
damn music.
damn talent.
damn beauty.
damnit all.
damn work.

adira interviewed me

2003-07-18T18:43:45Z

1. If you could have one superpower what would it be and why?
-teleportation. so i can do anything at any time without having to ever worry about it.

2. If your life were going to be like a movie, what movie would it be?
-it would definately be black and white, i'd be allot better looking than i really am, it would be all artistic and dramatic.
it would most likely end in a gunfight with nav. i have a distinct feeling that he will be the death of me.

3. If you had unlimited money for one day, what would you do with it?
- buy a nice spot of land, hire thousands of workers to start building me a castle. pay them all up front. get dump trucks to pull up to my house full of $1000 bills and have the worlds largest bonfire, buy out every country in the world, claim myself the king of earth. buy a playstation 2. play videogames. maybe get some new shoes while im at it, probly some converse all stars, or maybe some addidas. they make some nice shoes.....

4. what question do you most want to be asked?
"do you want me?" <-thats a nice question

5. define: sexy (haha i couldn't resist).

"sexy: (sek'se) adj. -informal. 1. provocative of sexual desire "a sexy dress." "a sexy woman" 2. concerned in large or excessive degree with sex." - funk & wagnalls =

-RULES
1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed

i don't take no shit

2003-07-16T22:57:08Z

wheres my fucking money?

today has been a fucked up day

2003-07-10T06:18:41Z

i got fired on my birthday,
who the fuck fires a kid on his 17th birthday.

i was gonna wright a cool phyco anilitical masterpeice essay but was too lazy so i've decided to stop thinking and start bitching.

god loves blind followers.

2003-07-06T15:25:22Z

kraft dinner tastes like shit. i woke up this morning thinking:
"hey i like kraft dinner i think i'll ingest some of that toxic waste orange sludge.
about 1 bite into this ordeal i realized that powderd cheese is not a recomended part of my daily diet, on the seccond bite i realized: "i'm eating food made by a ciggarette company, what could possibly be in this.' then i brough the third bite to my mouth and spat it back into the bowl.
this is possibly the nastiest food on the planet, the only way i could possibly imagine enjoying this would be if i were stoned out of my mind or if i hadent eaten in 3 weeks.
fuck kraft. fuck it in the ear.

random eye pic.

2003-07-05T17:52:15Z

here's a little diddy that took me about 3 seconds to make.
enjoy!
http://mywebpage.netscape.com/lukeves/bigright3.jpg
check out _eyeglam to see more strange people with unhealthy obsesions with eyes.

yay! tonight me and nav are going to get trapped in toronto after watching placebo.
What fun!
and yesterday i got tickets to the stones and ac/dc and THE FLAMING LIPS!
:)
and i got my b-day and my paycheck and a radiohead concert to look forward to.
damn weekends are good, especially when they'r 4 days long.

a breif explanation of where 28 days later came from

2003-07-01T20:47:46Z

dawn of the dead.
As the number of the living dead increases a disbelieving society slowly collapses. Martial Law is declared and citizens may no longer occupy private residence and instead are sent to rescue centers, many of which are already becoming overridden by the living dead.
Four of the few surviving humans escape the city in a helicopter. Running low on fuel they land on the roof of a shopping mall in search of refuge. Tempted by the supplies they venture into the shops they can see below. Although the living dead are at large they are few in numbers and the four manage to clear the mall and baracade themselves in from the ever increasing number of living dead outside.

day of the triffids:
bill awakes in a hospital to discover that almost everyone in the world, exept himself, has gone blind. he roams the streets of london, dodging the panic-stricken people. soon, he meets up with an attractive young woman who also retains the ability to see. they are the chosen ones.
then the triffids arrive. in a suddenly blinded world, they are unstoppable. millions are dying; will bill and his companion survive?

basically the movie is a mishmash of ellements from the movie "dawn of the dead" and the book "day of the triffids" wich is a pretty cool thing to do. dawn of the dead sucked but it was a good concept.
and day of the triffids was just a badass idea.
but this movie had a flavor that just kicked both of their asses.

i still would like to see a day of the triffids movie.

the scenes of a lone man walking through the abandoned streets of downtown london is just such a great concept. so convincingly desolate.
good stuff

today i got half the day off work.
wich is nice.
i really wish i had something to do. or someone to talk to. :(
oh well
i think im goin to go drink a bottle of nailpolish remover.
yay.

under the iron bridge we kissed, and although i ended up with sore lips.

2003-06-30T05:12:26Z

today was very nice. i felt generally happy and laughed really hard for the first time in little while.
i slept in til around 11 and woke up and hung out with my cousin. who was visiting my aunt who lives a few doors down.
anyways we all decided to go for a hike so we drove up to rattlesnake park or some place ( i forgot the name of the town)
but once we got to the hikeing trail we realized it was packed and there was really no point in hiking alongside a bunch of stupid tourists with picknick baskets.
the whole point of hiking is to get away from people is it not?
so we drove to get some pizza because we are consumer slaves to western society. and we saw a sign that said "rockport ostrich farm."
and we thought to ourselvs "holy shit ostriches are amazingly cool animals." so we decided to pay thoes crazy ostriches a visit. we got to the farm and went on the guided hayride tour.
it was well worth the 5 dollars just to see those crazy buggers.
we reached a point where we were aloud to hand feed them grain wich was at first extremely horrifying because they are such large animals but soon became the most hilarious event of my life when i realized that when they bite your fingers it hardly hurts at all.
just imagine about 20 some odd 7 foot tall ostrich sticking their long necks through a fence to peck at your corn filled hands. and i swear to god 4 times out of 5 they would just bite your fingers and pull and twist really hard. they were so cute. one kept going after my shoes and another one went after the orange color on my pants. they bite like snakes kinda. the inch forward mouth open then they kinda strike but theyr beaks are so soft and rounded and they really just kinda nibble. very adorable animals even if they do have the ability to kick you hard enough to break every rib in your chest..
but yeah me and my cousin decided that were gonna buy a pet ostrich and learn how to ride her.
:)
had a very interesting conversation with christine and i got tommorow off work.
can life get any better for the imediate present? i think not

harmony

2003-06-29T07:02:39Z

today was great.
dad took me to long and bought me a new bass. (for my b day.)
its a real nice and sounds like a badass
but now i owe him lots of money. (ces't la vive. [or something])
then i went to navs house played on his tablas and harmonia.
very fun
then we went to a sitar concert.
it was so amazing, but i was sad because i will never be that talented.
but i decided that i want to pick up a harmonia because they sound extremely awsome.
im going to go sleep now because my indigestion is acting up and there are tums next to my bed.
goodnight.
:)

i wan't to cry

2003-06-28T04:40:43Z

sometimes the fact that you cannot understand beauty is much worse than the fact that beauty exists without you.
"a rose by any other name would be just as subconciously symbolic of a vagina."
why do we feed off the energy of others?
why do we profit from pain and suffering?
am i dead?
how do i know im not in hell?
I a am melting from the inside out, i can feel my bones twist and crack, but not as badly as my mind.
i want to breakdown into a shell of myself and rebuild.
i want to die and be born again.
but death is so painful.
and childhood is so very tragic.
i could have been a good person.
i could have been capable of love.
i am blind.
i am asleep.
i dont want to be used anymore.
i dont want to be alone anymore.
i am a hungry ghost
i have the reverse midas touch.
i destroy everything that i come in contact with.
you could have saved me.

i am james dean reincarnate.

2003-06-24T01:20:19Z

how is it possible that i feel so sexy and yet feel so horribly lonely at the same time.

i woke up at 5:15 got to work at 6:45 woked till 6:45 got home at 7:15
12 hour day. (-1/2 hour of 2 lunch.)
and i come home to: "you did a good job."
i really wanted to talk to someone when i got home.
i really wanted to talk.
i've probly said about 10 things all day.
i feel like no one really cares about me.

im going to go wash out my nice hair.
and theni'm going to bed. to think.

fuck you ya fuckin' fuck.

2003-06-22T05:23:29Z

today i met the boyfriend of one of the greatest girls i know.
and he is a godamn idiot.
its not like he's a bad guy its just that they dont match, theres just no chemistry.
and the fucking guy wasnt even happy! thats what pissed me off, the sonava bitch didnt even care that he was going out with her.
and that was probably one of if not the last times i will ever see her.
godamn that depresses the hell out of me.

beautiful, talented, intelegent, good sense of humor, good taste in music and fashion, but terrible taste in men.
god i wish i could grow a backbone.
i wish i could be the man that women want me to be:

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!
this is bullshit.
i hate being a friend.
fuck me or hate me.
yes i am stupid, yes i am an ass, yes i do like to use women, yes i do have a fucking honda civic that my fucking rich dad bought for me because i'm a spoiled fuck, yes i do pretend to have emotional problems so that i can act like i am deep when i'm really shallow, yes i am going to university because of my fucking rich family. yes i do have a 27" cock. yes i do have stupid friends and get drunk every chance i get, yes i do have a six pack. yes i am pround that my dick is bigger than my brain.
will someone dream girl want to fuck me now?
is this seriously what women look for in men?

yes all men are assholes, but all women are fucking stupid bitch's.
(give me a reason why your not. i'll prove you wrong.)
so lets all just all keep on fuckin'.
feed this already disgustingly over populated planet by pumping out more assholes and slutty bitches.
lets all just fuck the world to death.

humanity is the definition of ignorance.

_boyo_ @ 2003-06-20T23:06:00

2003-06-21T03:52:59Z

I put the sex back into: "sexy."
no i don't, that's a blatant lie.
but can't a man have dreams? can't I dream of passion?
No?
damn.

I hate the fact that I can't legitamately call myself a man.
what the hell makes a man exactly? do you suddenly become a man when you turn 18? or when some chick finaly pitty's you enough to stop you bitching and finaly sleep with you. any fool can get laid, just go to a party and hit on some ugly drunk chick.
sex is not an accomplishment, and the only reason it's a goal to us is because we are horny people.
i like the way seinfeld put it.
"you are not a man you are a coward"
"you mean thoes aren't my sports jackets and ties in the closet?"
-or something along thoes lines-

how come women have sex appeal and get the right to choose who they want. that just dosent seem fair to me.
i like the mentality of sneaking up on hot women, hitting them over the head with a club and dragging them by the hair back to my cave, (or secluded alleyway if you want to get all modern on me.)
i like to think that the guys who go out with beutiful talented women are better than me sometimes. but the sad truth is that most guys are the same (give or take.) and its only small (or big;p) differences that seperate the sexually (or emotionally) successful from the utter failures.
maybe its the fact that i cant get my head around the whole sexual corner (parden the inuendo pun.) maybe this is the reason why i am destined to be alone.
i guess sometimes i just dont believe in love. like it's some horrible lie.
bah i'm lost.
there is no hope for me.

_boyo_ @ 2003-06-17T18:58:00

2003-06-18T00:56:15Z

today was so nice. i love good weather.
i feel bad because i didnt go to school and hang out with nav. but when i woke up the bus was already gone and i couldent bare listening to moms bluegrass on the car ride again.
so i slept in til 1 o'clock and when i woke up i played bass all day.
re learned "love cats","lets go to bed" most of "well i wonder" and i almost have "pretty girls make graves" perfect all around a good day.
im not very smart today, mostly because i havent really done anything.

flawed, but functional

2003-06-17T02:27:49Z

i seriously feel like i need someone to beat me within an inch of my life. i feel like i need physical punishment to repent for my sins so that i can re-build myself from the ground up. sometimes i feel like im just aimlessly wandering through my life with no real future, just drifting from place to place, no purpose, no goal, no dream.
i need some structure, some texture, some energy in my life.
i need some emotion because im tired off feeling numb and angry all the time. im tired of having to beat myself up for everything i do wrong, i want someone i truely hate to beat the shit out of me so that i can hate them and make myself a goal to become better than them in every aspect,
i need a girlfriend to have meuteral love with, even if it dosent last i just need to love and be loved. i feel very unloveable most of the time.
and i also need a friend who i can talk to and discuss events and relationships and philosophy and all that good stuff

basicaly i just want to change my life. and actually do something with it.

I'm sorry

2003-06-15T06:13:28Z

"yes i am a two faced lieing bag of shit, but it is my awareness of this fact that makes me different"
"not better just different."
but still better than jesus...
lol
to all of those that posted to my angry post i thank you.
i will try to change my mentality at least a bit and yes i am back on this god blasted machine for better or for worse.

i've come to realize that the common occurances of my life are just that. "common." everyone has these experiences and thus my personal experiences are completely irrelavent and boring, i pray however that my mental occurances are my own to use and dispose of however I please.
just a thought

trying to think of words to write but finding it hard as hell to get any original thought out of my head.
i think i need to jam some more with nAv and get some thoughts flowing.
(i managed to get the 3 different bass lines down today......
yay.)

"you had to sneak into my room, just to read my diary, it was just to see just to see, all the things you knew i'd writen about you, oh so many illustrations oh but, im so very sickend, yes i am so sickend now." - morrisey.

i need some inspiration. i need some education.

feel free to hate me. :p

the happy post.

2003-06-09T14:18:03Z

yes today i am not gonna bitch or complain about my life because i look at all your lives and how fuked up you are and in comparison i am much less insane. (yes i am shallow but at least im sick of wallowing in my own non existant sorrow)
so instead of sitting on my ass complaining about how shit my life is i am goin to flirt with girls, read books, discuss phycology with nav. and mebee even ask a girl out.
so by all means, keep complaining because it makes me feel better about myself when i can pitty you.

why is it that the blind followers succeed

2003-06-06T00:26:06Z

im not even gonna try
i went to the mall and had pleutonic chatter with a girl i like.
"talk is cheap and my actions are non existant."
i feel like i'm having a flag waved infront of my face
blinding and distracting at the same time.
"attraction is mind rape."
i hate being so fucking shy
why cant i get a relationship like everyone else on the planet?
and why do i get jelouse of everyone that has any type of relationship.
as soon as i find a girl I will a subconciously find another. just to compare my emotional status.
i've come to the conclusion that i will become attracted to anyone if i am put in a close situation. but i know that i only want to go out with them because i am attracted because i am desperate.
but this makes all attractions irrelavent and makes me incapable of defining love.
i have never loved anyone and have no basis of comparison but i believe that it is possible to fall in love with anyone.
either that or it is impossible to fall in love with anyone.
no one is special, all people are the same in some sense. we are all mearly looking for companionship. love is simply what idiots call a good companionship.
you don't realize that you can probably have the same relationship with anyone on the planet. it is your decisions, your actions,your attractions, and your prejudice's, that make you think that you are in love. but your wrong because all men ar dicks and all women ar bitches.
"love is as blind as you are"

i am a consumer whore

2003-06-05T03:13:55Z

i'm here to pimp sites for my friends.
http://kevinlefort.s5.com/
(the insane rambleings and html experiments of da illest rapper i know.)
http://www.illmitch.com/index.htm
(the illest white russian rapper i know of. busted a gut laughing at this guy.)
and marge's community: _eyeglam
if you got an eye fetish (and i know you do,) go to this site.
pretty pictures.
oooh

so ya anyways...
today was dull exept for the comedy aspects,
i went to the mall with shawna and got bubble tea. it was fun. bubble tea is good despite the fact that every moron on the face of the planet drinks it.
its also hella expensive.
got to listen to the new radiohead single that i bought for nav.
listend to 3 songs all day.
then i got a wierd full body itch at 4.
i think im allergic to my pants.
mabee i should take them off
-porno music-
gotta go kids.

i am a consumer whore

2003-06-05T03:13:55Z

thats it, i give up.

2003-06-03T00:27:59Z

i'm just never going to be able to have a girlfriend,
i cannot commit
my fear of rejection outways my lonleyness
fuck it.
damn you women, your all evil.

padington snare.

2003-06-02T02:51:37Z

me and ju-li went to a concert.
her boyfriend, who will be known as "jor-don" is the bassist in a kick ass band called padington. sort of emo (f-u marge) and achoustic rock with two vocals
good bass and guitar. i thought the drums could be a bit better but still good. and good lyrics. and jor-don played some amazing lines.
then there was the standard white rock band, dashbord esq emo group, and another rock band.
they were all good but non of them had as much originality as padington.
it was a hella good time.
then julie had to get home so we went to wendy's and the guy fucked up her order.
we talked for a while and heading home there was an awsome sunset but we were in the middle of brampton so we coulent see it too well from all the buildings.
-cut off-