Current mood:	chipper
Current music:	Kanye West - "Hey Mama"
Entry tags:	fanfiction, weasleys

In the wake
Title: Horrormones
Word Count: 749
Rating: PG, 12+
Genre: General, Humor
Summary: Arthur just wants some peace and quiet.

Horrormones


“Hello?”


Arthur Weasley looked up from his issue of The Prophet to the front door of the Burrow.


“’Lo, Molly,” he greeted her, returning his attention once more to his paper. “Have a nice morning?”


It wasn’t meant to be a real ‘discussion starter’, as his wife liked to call them. It was meant to get a casual response, preferably one such as, “Yes - now get back to reading your paper, honey,” and then she’d be on her way and he’d be left in peace to read.


No such luck.


“No!” she exclaimed irritably as she threw her bags down onto the floor. Ginny, sweet baby Ginny, gurgled in her other arm, alarmed. “First of all, the robes wouldn’t fit! And it’s not like Bill could come down and try them on, oh no, he wanted to stay here and practice Quidditch or Gobstones or whatever foul game he’s playing!”


Arthur blinked. “Actually, I had thought he was studying –”


“Studying? Right, he was studying, of course!” A blur of arms and Ginny was now sitting in his lap, and Molly was standing at the door again, tapping her foot impatiently. “And then, when we went to get books, the line was held up because some idiot let a Jobberknoll out and it got stepped on and killed, and you know what happens when Jobberknolls are killed!”


“Er… they regurgitate every sound they ever heard?” he said feebly, trying to remember the conversation he’d been having with Amelia Bones on the subject.


“That’s right! And let me tell you how nice it was to hear an entire symphony – conducted by ghosts, no less – while we were trying to buy books!” She took a breath, but her face was still as red as a beet. “And then we stopped by Fortescues’ to get a nice ice cream, but the ice cream was too cold for Ginny and she started crying. And – Ronald, put that wand down now!”


The toddler boy, who had diverted his attention from his now panicked mother, dropped the object instantly. However, Molly seemed too fed up at this point to even compromise with him.


“I swear, you all are going to be the end of me!” She knotted her hands in her hair, made a odd sound, and stormed up the stairs.


It was silent in the room for some while before poor, little Ronald gathered the courage to speak.


“Daddy, what’s wrong with Mum?”


Arthur, who was busy trying to comfort Ginny, didn’t give it a second thought. “Hormones.”


He knew he shouldn’t have said it as soon as it had come out of his mouth. A bit paler, he pulled Ginny out of his coat (she had hidden for cover in it) and hoped that Ron wouldn’t tell his mother, for their would be hell to pay if she ever heard of this.


“Horrormones?” said Ron, bemused. “Sound pretty scary.”


“Oh yes, they are.” Nice, Arthur, he thought to himself. Stick the foot even further in your mouth. “You’d better watch out for your mum when she’s in such a mood.”


“M’kay.” Ron plopped down on the ground and began playing with the wand again, oblivious once more to his mother’s warnings.


Arthur went back to his paper, thinking that peace had once again been restored, and just as he was about to start reading a very appealing article about Muggle contraptions and magical misuse, footsteps pounded on the stairs. Another head of red hair entered the room and came slowly towards him, terror-stricken.


“Dad, Mum’s scaring me!”


Arthur sighed and ruffled his son’s hair comfortingly. “Don’t you worry, Charlie. She’ll be fine in no time.”


“I guess.” The boy’s face brightened immediately. “Hey, maybe if we know what’s bothering her, we could help!”


“Er…”


“It’s the horrormones,” said Ron knowledgeably.


“Oh.” Charlie looked around for a second, not having a clue as to what a horrormone was, before sitting down next to Ron and reaching for the wand. “Gimme that, I learned a great new spell today from Tycho!”


“No! I found it first, and finders-keepers, losers-weepers!”


A struggle ensued, and Arthur returned to his paper once more contently. Ginny closed her eyes and rested against his chest and began to sleep, and eventually Charlie won and began showing Ron a spell (which obviously was fake) with the wand. The father of the bunch started reading the article that looked so interesting and smiled in spite of it all.


All was calm in the wake of the horrormones.