Taking advantage of being one room away from the wireless modem, I decided to download the first episode of Sanctuary, a new sci-fi web series from the creators of Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis.

(It couldn't be helped, Azureus Vuze (C) plugs it in your face everytime the application loads.)

I don't know how often going Web has been elected to pilot a new series, but what this show has done is offered its first two parts free. For all subsequent parts it asks you to pay $2.49, which, is pretty reasonable considering how much money I can spend on a meal.

Having only watched the pilot, I'm not sure what's going on, but some things are apparent:

This is not your Underworld of lycan-vampiric love. That world would have rendered better.
This show is heavy on the computer generated environments and the effect is a world that looks like it's been captured from Vampire the Masquerade in Sin City. Night is always hanging over the city and there's a persistent dankness pushing the tone of misery and disquiet. Often the CG environments transform to real-time figures and sets within the same shot, but the transition isn't flawless and become very distracting.

Hot chicks with yet no name stalk murderous-panicked children through subway tunnels. Body-hugging polyester suits of bad supernatural acclaim glimmer happily for the camera.

We are not amused.

Salute your Colonel!
Character-that-is-not-Sam Carter (CTINS) seems to be the protagonist, with age in her voice that may or may not be entirely her own work (IMDB might affirm for us, but searching is for the swift typers). It comes and goes relative to the expositive weight of the scene with the result of me sitting straighter in my seat every time her voice dips and does anybody pay attention to a thing she says after that point? CTINS is the thread tying the infernal origins of Jack-the-Ripper past to a much larger truth that's kept her around to present day in ye Old(e) City. I'm immediately interested in Jack-the-Ripper renditions regardless of how hard they fail to inspire.

CTINS's a coroner carrying a gun and magic (business) cards. I'm not sold, but she has a great voice in Serious Mode and wears a big hat, which scores high points with me.

Hey, that's my Meredith (with a side dash of Crazy)!
Rodney Meredith McKay. In really real life, I actually have a stubbornly unreachable client by the very same name (but that's another story). What's disappointing here is that not!Rodney, a convicted psycho killer of years past, acts pretty much like the super scientist we know and love. What he lacks in indignation he makes up for with wistful recollection of crazy killing wants and appreciation. It almost works, but he moves, smiles and speaks with the same rhythm as Rodney and I wonder how much the director had to do with that.

I'm sure they're monopolising on the Stargate fanbase.

My name is not Daniel Jackson.
Speaking of monopolising on the fans, we has a Doctor who looks like a younger, short-cropped Daniel Jackson. Sure, his hair's a shade lighter and he shares intimate proximity with Major Lorne in every scene without a volt of electricity (more on this later), but for all intents and purposes it's Daniel. I didn't manage to catch his name because he had nightmares about sasquatch (sp?) that looked Ron Perlman from 1980's Beauty and the Beast. I snortled over his introduction.

They took away my hairspray, so I defected to Sanctuary.
Major Lorne whose Sanctuary!name also escaped me -- gee, doing well, aren't I? -- is an aggresive cop not above fondling Sanctuary!Rodney's knee during witness intimidation interview. They flattened Lorne's hair to his head and threw him in an ugly suit, I'd be angry too. His hair was a third of his character! The other two-thirds were defence major and talented artist, be still my pink, wibbling heart. Sanctuary!Lorne mainly hisses with Not!Daniel a lot about whether or not Sancuary!Rodney is psycho killing again. The doctor and cop enjoy sharing their breathing space. A lot. It must have been part of their hospital-law enforcement team building exercise. And it devastates my slashy heart to say these men don't have an ounce of chemistry between the three of them.

Shall I compare thee to a Stargate?
We has a supernatural killing snake linked mysteriously to panicked, bumbling child. If the child controls the snake or vice versa isn't yet clear, but if there's one thing television taught us it's that we should always blame the child at the scene of a murder. The snake kills things and from behind looks mysteriously like a goa'uld symbiote.

I hope this show is purposely luring me into a false coccoon of disappointment, preparing to slap me sideways with its creative and technical ingenuity in the next installment. I has part two. I will find out shortly.

I remember being underwhelmed by the Heroes pilot, but I'd heard good things about it and determined to keep watching. Today it's one of those shows I follow every week although not everyone's had the same reaction. I haven't heard *anything* about Sanctuary, but while nothing's driving me to keep on watching, I will see what I can in support of my SG actors.

Not going to consult Wiki at this stage [1]. That would be, like, cheating.


[1] At least, not until I start tearing my hair out.