::sigh::

today seriously has to be one of the worst days of my life. everything just kind of fell apart. sometimes i just wish i werent here. the only good thing that happened today was i got to talk to my dad on my break for like 30 min. we talked about alot. i dunno he made me feel so good about alot of things. like how stressful my life has been these past few months.....and how i actually put up with some of it. he was just like " i admire u for that " and like it just made me feel so good. and he told me that i was his favorite son...because no matter wat situation....i can always make someone feel better. i can always make someone laugh. and im always smiling. i miss my dad. =(

umm....im not lettin my band break up for somethin stupid. thats it.

work today was just so depressing. i had so much time to think about everything. and it hurt. to u just know that i love u so much. id do almost anything for u. just ask. and its done. uve always been my everything...and that scares me. theres not a day that goes by where i wish i could just pick u up and carry u for miles. like at the edge that one night. goodtimes right there. <3. theres not a day where i dont think about our 1st kiss, or holding u so tightly right afterwards. and theres not a day where i dont wish u were mine. everytime u laugh it just gives me more hope to live on. and everytime u cry it just makes me wanna run to ur house and hold u until i kno everything will be ok. id give anything just to hear ur voice every day, just so id kno u were ok. im hurting right now and the reason....because i miss u. im scared of not being with u. u kno wat i miss the most.... i miss running to ur house from the mall....just so i could see u for 2 seconds...before ur parents got home. </3 i never thought i could ever fall for someone as hard as ive fallen for u. but i have. and as weird as this sounds....it really is the greatest feeling in the world. because its you. and no matter how much u hurt me.... i still love u. and if thats not true love, i dont kno wat is. all i kno is wat i feel. and wat i feel for u is the strongest feeling ive ever had. <3 i love u <3